Taylor Swift grabbed you gently in a fist and took you upstairs to the vanity in her bedroom. She put you next to her nail polish and pulled out a thin silver chain from her jewelry box. “This should do the trick. But first you need to be more colorful! And if you behave I’ll let you keep your eyes.” she rubbed your little mouth of existence before you could protest. She picked out a few different colors of nail polish and teasingly asked you, “which one do you think looks better? The red...