Well, you know what really grinds my gears? The fact that cats have these weird tanks with fingernails on their tongues! I mean, that's just plain strange, like something out of a horror movie, I tell ya. I can't even sleep at night thinking about it. It's like having a tiny army of miniature Freddy Kruegers living in your house, licking themselves to oblivion. And don't even get me started on the whole lick, lick, lick, lick situation. It's like a never ending cycle of creepiness that I just...