Ghost World (2001) Edit

A non passing grade in the class.

A picture of your own self exploration.

A ribbon is something rare

A smile and a ribbon in my hair

A smile is something special

About a guy who kills people with a big hammer.

About moving in here, and...

About not being afraid to use controversial imagery.

Achieved matriculation

Actually, he kind of reminds me...

Actually, I have the original 78 in my collection.

Actually, I was just about to go out with some friends.

Actually, it's still kind of happening.

Actually, Seymour's big date is tonight.

Actually, there is this one guy I have a crush on right now...

Actually, we're supposed to go antique shopping...

Actually, you could live here...

Actually, you wish.

After about five minutes of this movie...

All artists have to suffer.

All right, cool. Just make sure you're here by then...

All right, people, are you ready to boogie?

All right? Physically impossible.

All right.

All right. Hey, no need to get violent.

All these movies suck.

All they care about is guitars or sports.

Although, of course, not in the strictest sense...

America's top critics agree...

And all of the sudden she's Little Miss Perfect and everyone loves her.

And at least two years of experience...

And at the end of the summer, this class has been invited...

And give me six of these beef jerkys.

And go to the city college part time...

And he's psychotically obsessing over every little detail.

And hopefully learn from their experiences.

And how do you think an image like this...

And how it's whitewashed over in our culture.

And I discovered that Cook's Chicken...

And I don't want her to have the wrong idea, you know?

And I have learned...

And I start moving in next week.

And I took the liberty of submitting your name.

And I want you to be my date.

And I'd just disappear...

And I'll be your waiter this afternoon.

And I'm hoping to start auditions soon.

And I'm not in a relationship anymore.

And I'm not in a relationship anymore.

And if you're not feeling well, we can do this some other time.

And it illustrates perfectly what I was saying...

And it looks like we have some really interesting work up here.

And lent it for use on this reissue.

And let me have lots of butter on it.

And losers and weirdos.

And meals and everything. It's really quite an offer.

And my name is Dana.

And nature's nectar, wake up Juice.

And not the headliner.

And now it's hidden or something.

And places it in an artistic context...

And see if this is...

And she really just wants to kill me.

And she tells me I'm allowed to place one student...

And she's even remotely attractive...

And start a whole new life.

And still get a job if you want.

And that I'm very lucky...

And the newspaper... it's just absolutely...

And then I had a fight with Becky...

And then ragtime at the top of the list.

And there is just no way to explain how I feel.

And there's going to be a bunch of cool bands playing...

And they'd never see me again.

And they're happy.

And thinking of minoring in Communications, so...

And this is exactly what I'm hoping to get...

And thus, it becomes art.

And we have to wonder why it's so shocking.

And we were thinking it might be really best...

And we'll stalk him from a distance.

And what it feels like to inhabit my specific skin.

And what was your reason for choosing him as your subject?

And why aren't you pushing the larger sizes?

And you can pay me back when you finally get a job.

And you don't have to pay...

And you know, I'm only telling you this...

And you'll find your own ways of externalizing the internal.

And, like, fuck things up from the inside.

Anthony's.

Anyway, if you still want to talk to me...

Anyway, she's trying.

Are all these records?

Are you OK?

Are you saying that things were better back then...

Are you still looking for a job?

Are you sure she wasn't there?

Are you trying to get rid of me?

Aren't there a million places like this?

Aren't these the greatest?

Aren't you even going to ask how I'm doing?

Aren't you going to get that?

As a sort of a light entertainment...

As far as I know it includes housing...

As kind of a comment on racism...

As soon as you were free?

As those creatures back there.

At least the wheelchair guy is entertaining.

At least things can't get any worse.

At least we'll never have to see...

At least you're not like every other stupid guy in the world.

At least, I think I am.

At least, I think I am.

At the Academy of Art and Design...

At the neighborhood activity center.

Authentic blues has a more conventional...

Awful! Just awful!

Back in 1922...

Because Becky would totally freak out.

Because I think it says so much about who I am...

Because I told her I wasn't going to move in with her...

Because we got a lot of stuff to do.

Because we're such good friends.

Because you'll totally freak out and act like a psycho about it.

Because, honey, if something's wrong...

Because, no matter what, I know you'll always be here.

Becky and I have been dying to go in here...

Besides, I have some ideas to make money in the meantime.

Blow me, doofus.

Both of you? Why not?

Boy, I never expected anything like this to happen.

Boy.

But a tight hair crack is just that... a crack.

But CDs will never have the presence of an original 78.

But do you... Are you going out...

But how come you never call me anymore?

But I can't do anything about it...

But I don't think it's completely hopeless.

But I was in this relationship at the time...

But I'm hoping that doesn't influence you too much...

But instead of tea...

But it plays decent as I recall.

But it's not really for sale.

But mostly I just feel like poisoning everybody.

But my woman she be gone

But once I heard that song, it was like...

But she thinks she can convince them.

But that one song, "Devil Got My Woman..."

But the crack is so tight, it's completely inaudible.

But they canceled this bus line two years ago.

But they just know how to hide it better.

But those are our people.

But what can you tell us about it...

But you are simply going to have to remove that painting.

But you have to share with a...

But... totally fucked up situation.

By the end of this summer...

Bye, you guys. Call me. Bye.

Call the cops!

Can I borrow this?

Can we go in here for a second? Just for a second.

Can we go now?

Can we talk about this in a minute?

Can you at least let me in?

Can you tell us why?

Can't I still get a scholarship to the art academy?

Check out these people behind you.

Clean up that fucking mess! Jesus.

Colorful.

Come on, Josh. Don't you want to see where this guy lives?

Come on, Seymour. Don't be silly.

Come on, Seymour. Please?

Come on.

Come on. Please?

Come on. This is a fun party.

Coming at you this beautiful evening.

Congratulations!

Dana got it when we went shopping for antiques.

Dana just got out of a really bad relationship...

Did she actually tell you that you can't see me anymore?

Did you actually do this painting?

Did you bring the tape?

Did you even look through the rest of the book?

Did you have a good laugh at my expense?

Did you mean all that stuff about moving in with me?

Did you see his last film...

Did you want mashed potatoes?

Didn't you get training about up sizing?

Do you ever think about stuff like that?

Do you have a decent equalizer?

Do you have any old Indian records?

Do you have any other old records besides these?

Do you have anything to drink?

Do you mind if I wait? I really need to talk to her.

Do you remember me?

Do you serve beer or any alcohol?

Do you serve beer or any alcohol?

Do you still want to do something tonight?

Do you still want to go shopping tomorrow?

Do you think that's funny?

Do you want to do something tonight?

Doesn't it make you want to dance?

Don't go away.

Don't thank me.

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it. I'll get a job next week.

Don't worry about it. I've lived with the guy for five years.

Don't worry. I won't bother you anymore.

Don't worry. It'll only take a second.

Don't you creeps ever talk about anything nice?

Don't you ever talk about fluffy kittens or the Easter Bunny?

Don't you like me?

Don't!

Dream a little dream. It's never gonna happen.

Dustoff Varnya is such a brilliant director.

Emotional, spiritual, political...

Enid, can I speak to you for a moment?

Enid, I'm not mad at you.

Enjoy.

Erskine Hawkins and his orchestra, do you have that?

Even though there was stuff like this?

Everyone's too stupid.

Eww, look at this.

Eww. Gross.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

For all of us if at the end of the summer...

For fuck ups and retards.

For lumbar support.

For nineteen years.

For the bicycle of real life.

For what?

Forget it. I can't explain it.

Forget it. I'm sure it sucks.

From each of you over the course of this summer...

From sexual frustration.

From your graduating class for a full one year scholarship...

From your graduating class for a full one year scholarship...

Fuck everybody.

Fuck you! You stupid redneck hick.

Fuck you.

Fucking asshole! What's wrong with you?

Funky.

Get a job at some big corporation...

Get the hell out of my store!

Get the hell out of my store.

Gimme all your money, bitch.

Give me a call when you get a chance.

God, he lives right in our neighborhood.

God, how cool. Where are you moving?

God, how long have you been standing there?

God, how repulsive.

God, I can't believe you went to Anthony's without me.

God, I can't believe you're selling that.

God, I didn't think that just because you get an "F"...

God, I know. I thought that chipmunk face was never going to shut up.

God, I'm so sick of Seymour.

God, it's so weird that we're finally out of high school.

God, just think. We'll never see Dennis again.

God, look at her. What a fucking monster.

God, no. This is just junk I have for sale.

God, that asshole's voice is so hateful.

God, that is obviously him.

God, that's so exciting.

God, that's so pathetic.

God, this is really confusing.

God, what a dork.

God, what look was he going for...

God! Fuck you!

God. Fuck you, too.

God. How can you stand all these assholes?

Good night.

Good.

Great!

Has anything to bring to this.

Hassle?

Have a seat.

Have fun living with your dad for the rest of your life.

Have some more kids, why don't you?

He better watch out, or he'll get AIDS when he date ****s her.

He does that every single day.

He doesn't even look all that bummed out really.

He doesn't even need that wheelchair.

He gives me, like, a total boner.

He would have never called you back.

He's almost kind of cool.

He's going to be amazed to see it.

He's just so shrill and loud and piercing.

He's just this guy that Becky and I like to torture.

He's just totally lazy.

He's not getting any. Neither are you.

He's the exact opposite of everything I really hate.

He's the man with the records.

He's, like, the biggest idiot of all time.

Heads up.

Hello! How are you young ladies this afternoon?

Hello. Welcome to Masterpiece Video.

Helps us to see that?

Here we go. It's...

Here you go.

Here, follow me. Watch my feet.

Here, let's put down your bowl of ice cream.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Hey, check out the awesome Fifties hairdo on our waiter.

Hey, check that out.

Hey, do you have my money?

Hey, Enid.

Hey, look at it this way...

Hey, look, there's Norman. Hi, Norman.

Hey, that's all right.

Hey, we should follow them.

Hey, what are you doing here?

Hey, what you doing?

Hey, what's happening?

Hey, you know what? Listen to me, Joe, all right?

Hey, you see that guy over there?

Hey! Hey, you!

Hi, I'm calling for...

Hi, it's me.

Hi, Weird Al. My friend here has...

Hi. Can I get a medium 7 Up?

Hi. My name is Allen...

Hi. What's your name?

Hi. Yeah. No, it's excluded.

High on life.

High school is like the training wheels...

Honey, I made spaghetti. You don't want some?

Honey, would you come in here for a minute?

Honey?

How about Friday at 1:00?

How about this one?

How about this one? Is it any good?

How come all that time I was trying to get you a date...

How come everybody doesn't know this?

How do you think this addresses the subject of racism?

How many times I tell you? No shirt, no service.

How much for this dress?

How much is it?

How much is this?

How racism used to be more out in the open...

How really, really sorry I am about everything.

How the hell did we get so far behind them?

How totally amazing.

How's it going, Adam?

I already told you I'm not going to college.

I am so sorry about what happened, Enid.

I am sorry...

I am.

I bet he's in there jerking off.

I bet you're Irish. What's your name?

I borrowed that from work about fifteen years ago.

I brought it so he can autograph it.

I brought the application for the art academy.

I can be reached at 555 2673.

I can run upstairs and get it.

I can see his hair bobbing up and down.

I can see that.

I can't believe these people.

I can't believe they have him as the opening act...

I can't believe this. He actually scored.

I can't believe you're selling some of this stuff.

I can't even remember the last time a girl talked to me.

I can't help but feel...

I can't imagine spending money on plastic cups.

I can't read the trivia question.

I can't relate to humanity, either...

I can't relate to ninety nine percent of humanity.

I can't. It's Seymour's birthday tonight.

I could do the cooking and dust your old records...

I couldn't imagine you'd have any interest in me...

I don't believe I care for any of those.

I don't believe you.

I don't collect cracked records.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I don't know, it's complicated.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I just like Don Knotts.

I don't know. I kind of like him.

I don't know. Noon?

I don't know. That's just great.

I don't like it.

I don't really collect foreign.

I don't really have a lot of money on me right now.

I don't really know what to say, Enid.

I don't understand. I simply wish to know...

I don't want this showing up on a credit card statement.

I don't...

I feel as though I've stepped into a time warp.

I feel like I'm being jabbed in the face.

I got a call from a close friend of mine...

I got to show you this. It's really cool.

I guess I just can't stand the idea of a world...

I guess I'll call you tomorrow.

I guess I'll just have to figure myself out.

I guess I'm trying to show...

I guess it's mine now.

I guess.

I had some small part in how you turned out.

I hate my interests.

I hate sports.

I hate to tell you this...

I have been able to learn...

I have to admit things are starting to look up for me...

I have to wait and see how this summer class goes first.

I hope that each of you feels as if you'll be...

I just hate all these extroverted, obnoxious...

I just hope it's not too late.

I just really feel like I need to say something to you.

I knew it. It's my mother.

I know a party we could go to later.

I know I could get you a date in, like, two seconds.

I know I'm a total disappointment to everyone.

I know I'm just a dork.

I know it's over, asshole.

I know the guy who owns the original...

I know you probably totally hate me.

I know.

I know. I liked her so much better when she was an alcoholic crack addict.

I like to show it...

I love this place.

I mean it. You leave everything to me...

I mean, as long as she's not a complete imbecile...

I mean, maybe she was just hiding from you or something.

I mean, we already got his money.

I mean, we have to get stuff if we're ever going to move.

I mean, you like me, right, Seymour?

I mean, you've got this thing with Dana, and...

I merely want to help you find...

I might have to hang on to that for the time being.

I mostly just keep playing that over and over.

I needed to see you.

I only pay premium on mint records.

I promise I'll take good care of it.

I really didn't get a good look at her.

I really do want to move in with you.

I really don't know enough about it to...

I really need to get some sleep.

I really want to talk to you.

I really wish I could, Enid, but...

I remember this hat.

I saw the ad when you first placed it...

I should be going in a few minutes, and...

I suppose things are better now, but...

I think he'll be fine.

I think I'm ready to get back to my old life.

I think it's a good idea to keep all your options open.

I think it's a remarkable achievement.

I think it's a remarkable achievement.

I think it's totally weird.

I think Josh is becoming too mature for us.

I think only stupid people have good relationships.

I think that Phillip and Enid can help us to see that...

I think we should give the artist a chance...

I think we should see if the artist...

I think you should call her back.

I think you should call her back.

I think you should trust your instincts.

I thought "everything must go."

I thought I was going to start crying.

I totally, totally hate you.

I used to think about one day...

I was just thinking out loud.

I was more interested in the whole Cook's phenomenon...

I was only kidding.

I was speaking of earlier.

I was thinking maybe I should just live alone, you know?

I was trying to kind of confront people with this...

I was wearing that when I lost my virginity.

I will handle it. Thank you.

I will take care of it, I promise you.

I wish.

I wonder if he's just totally insane...

I wonder if he's just totally insane...

I would have warned you it's not like a real party or anything.

I would kill to have stuff like this.

I'd better get going. I'm going to be late for work.

I'd have to put traditional jazz, blues...

I'd imagine so.

I'd love it if we could talk about it.

I'd love to know what you're doing now.

I'll be noticed because I'll wear

I'll be something beyond compare

I'll bet he never jerks off.

I'll bring it over sometime tomorrow.

I'll definitely give you a call this week or something.

I'll get a job tomorrow. I promise.

I'll get another job.

I'll get put on some weird mailing list.

I'll have a decaf mocha to go.

I'll just be in my room.

I'll just check that on the computer for you, sir.

I'll show you something funny.

I'm already a million hours late. Come on.

I'm an assistant manager at their corporate headquarters.

I'm coming in.

I'm going to go to bed. I'm really tired.

I'm going to let you handle the 4:30 crowd by yourself.

I'm going to start the paperwork.

I'm gonna get a beer.

I'm gonna really miss all of you people.

I'm gonna tell him you said that.

I'm hungry enough to chew the crotch out of a rag doll.

I'm just like all the rest of these pathetic collector losers.

I'm just on my break.

I'm just so sick of everybody.

I'm just telling you what he said.

I'm kind of surprised he hasn't mentioned me.

I'm leaving town.

I'm looking for a copy of "81/2."

I'm not even in the same universe...

I'm not gonna let you fuck that up.

I'm not holding my breath in that department.

I'm not in any good condition to drive.

I'm not selling it.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm proud of you. I'll catch you guys later.

I'm serious.

I'm so excited to see this film.

I'm sorry, I need to speak with her for a second.

I'm sorry.

I'm supposed to go to the store. I was going to make him a cake.

I'm sure it's OK.

I'm taking a remedial high school art class...

I'm talking to you.

I'm totally convinced they're Satanists.

I've been looking all over for you.

I've been thinking about what you said...

I've been wandering the streets day and night...

I've decided to rent that place that we looked at...

I've got about 1,50078s at this point.

I've never said this to anyone before.

I've stayed in horrible relationships for years...

I've tried to pare down my collection...

If he starts dating her again, I'll kill myself.

If he's so weird, how come he's wearing Nikes?

If it isn't Enid and Rebecca...

If they notice it on the final walkthrough.

If this guy freaks out, will you protect us?

If we're gonna make that movie, don't you think we should go?

If you don't like it, you can bring it back for a refund.

If you show them this flier at the door.

If you want to make up your own rules...

If you would have told me you were coming...

If... Mm hmm.

In a time of uncertainty...

In a way, he's such a clueless dork...

In a world where nothing is what it seems...

In addition to our favorites, chocolate and vanilla...

In coming to terms with my own personal setback...

In fact, I was standing right next to him...

In my collection from the Twenties...

In regard to your artistic intent?

In scope, in feeling, and that deals with issues...

In sign language for the deaf.

Indian records?

Instead of censorship.

Interesting.

Is he going to be OK?

Is it crazy for an oil company to care about the environment?

Is out of his mind.

Is that a new release, sir?

Is worth about $500 if you own the original 78.

Isn't it great?

Isn't it great?

Isn't this a wonderful piece, class?

It has a large center hole and a hair crack.

It is a time when young people can explore different fields of interests

It looks like a gross rat.

It seems really shocking.

It took me a while before I got a chance to actually play it...

It was glorious.

It was so cute how he had his own little bags.

It would look stupid on you anyway.

It's a found object.

It's a tampon in a teacup.

It's about The Mutilator.

It's actually totally depressing.

It's Alien Autopsy.

It's Alien Autopsy.

It's America, dude. Learn the rules.

It's ancient history.

It's complicated.

It's Enid. Leave a message.

It's Enid. Leave a message.

It's fine.

It's good.

It's great to finally meet you.

It's his machine.

It's just an excuse for us to spend time with you, Josh.

It's just somebody's idea of a joke.

It's just this elastic thing I have to wear sometimes...

It's my parking lot!

It's my response to the issue of a woman's right to choose.

It's nice to have somebody do all the work for me.

It's not optional!

It's not really the best time to talk, OK?

It's not right.

It's nothing. It's just some hormonal thing.

It's obviously a 1977 original punk rock look.

It's one of maybe five known copies.

It's one of only two known copies.

It's only about a B minus.

It's pretty sleazy.

It's really quite something to see you all grown up, Enid.

It's simple for everybody else.

It's so, I don't know... You know, funky.

It's such a weird feeling.

It's supposed to be Don Knotts.

It's time for celebration

It's totally offensive.

It's very good.

It's very valuable.

It's, like, the Taj Mahal of fake Fifties diners.

It's...

It's... What an insult.

Jeez, thanks a lot for cooking.

Jesus Christ, move it!

Jesus, how can you stand her?

Jesus, listen to this one.

Jesus, Seymour, are you all right?

Jesus! I'll talk to you later, OK? Bye.

Jesus.

Jesus.

Jesus.

Jesus. I'd go nuts if I had to work in an office all day.

Joey McCobb is our god.

Joey McCobb, the weirdest man in show business.

Johnny Fuckface over there is too stupid to realize it.

Josh, what are you doing?

Josh, what you goddamn doing?

Josh? He's nobody's boyfriend.

Josh? Why would she be with Josh?

Just a minute.

Just because.

Just find some totally new place...

Just for a minute. It'll be a riot.

Just forget it. It's complicated.

Just not telling anyone and going off to some random place.

Just now. I went with Seymour.

Just so I wouldn't have to do this.

Just some people from work.

Just someone so young.

Just stopping by to say hi.

Kinda cute.

Let me tell you something, Joe, OK?

Let me tell you something.

Let the machine get it.

Let's address discussion to this piece.

Let's get out of here. This place makes me sick.

Let's get together for lunch sometime.

Let's go hassle Josh.

Let's see if they gave me the right diploma.

Like I'd let some asshole with a soul patch own Goofy Gus.

Like that of Scott Joplin or Joseph Lamb.

List your five main interests in order of importance.

Listen, lady, you tell me you want to relax your hair.

Look at me. I'm not even listening...

Look at this.

Look, I already told you guys, I'm not giving you a ride.

Look, I better get going.

Look, I don't know.

Look, I don't know. I don't think it's such a good idea.

Look, I don't see why you guys even need a ride.

Look, I just need someone to be nice to me for five minutes...

Look, I told you. The manager was a total asshole.

Look, I'm really sorry about the other day.

Look, I'm sick of waiting.

Look, Seymour, I came by to tell you...

Look, that's the policy, OK?

Look, there's my dad with Maxine.

Look.

Look.

Loosen up. It's all in your head.

Loser.

Margaret, have you seen Enid?

Maxine said she could get me a job at Computer Station.

Maxine thinks she can get you a job at Computer Station.

May I help you find a particular Masterpiece movie?

Maybe I don't want to meet someone who shares my interests.

Maybe I should just move in with you.

Maybe it's not such a good idea that we keep going out.

Maybe not 78s, but I can play regular records.

Maybe now you can understand why I can't get a date.

Maybe our future husbands are trying to contact us.

Maybe she got another boyfriend.

Maybe she's with Josh?

Maybe we could discuss it in the car.

Medium is really only for suckers...

Medium?

Meet me at my favorite restaurant... Wowsville.

Mirror, father, mirror.

Most women wouldn't invite a guy over on the first date, but...

Must have missed that one.

My acting workshop is across the street from here.

My band's playing here on Friday night...

My goodness.

No way. When?

No wonder I never listen to the radio.

No, blow it out, doofus.

No, Enid, wait.

No, I do not want a biscotti with that.

No, I haven't.

No, it really doesn't. You'll see.

No, no, no. It's just that I...

No, not "91/2," "81/2." The Fellini film.

No, really.

No, really. Think about that.

No, that one's not so great.

No, they told me that she'd be here.

No, you learn the rules. We Greeks invented democracy.

No, you're not. You're a cool guy, Seymour.

No.

No. I have to get up early for class tomorrow.

No. I'm gonna pack up the rest tonight.

No. It's still twenty five minutes too early.

No. Joe told me where you are.

No. No, I mean...

No. This is the ultimate.

Normally, you have to have a lot of references....

Norman.

Not exactly. She just...

Not if I can't find that goddamn spatula.

Not really.

Not so cool now, are you, good looking boy?

Not so funny now, tough guy, are you, huh?

Nothing but classic rock...

Nothing so glamorous, actually.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Now I remember why I haven't been anywhere in months.

Now remember, the art show is this Saturday...

Now we're the newest members of the general population

Now, last week, I asked you...

Now, my own background is in video and performance art...

Of course I remember you.

Of course it's a good idea. It's our plan.

Of course you should.

Of great importance.

Of that one guy you went out with... Larry.

Offer her a seat.

Oh, and Justin.

Oh, come on.

Oh, come on. What are you talking about?

Oh, face it. You just hate every single guy...

Oh, God, this is totally unbearable.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. How horrifying.

Oh, God. How perfect.

Oh, hello. Guess I'm a little early.

Oh, here's one.

Oh, hey. Thanks, Enid. I really appreciate it.

Oh, hi. Enid's stepmother told me that she'd be here.

Oh, hi. Enid's stepmother told me that she'd be here.

Oh, him. Seymour.

Oh, how punk.

Oh, it's just my stupid back. I'll be all right in a minute.

Oh, look at how cute I am.

Oh, look, maybe that's him.

Oh, look. We have to get these.

Oh, man. That was cold.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Didn't they tell you?

Oh, my God. He just ordered a giant glass of milk.

Oh, my God. It's him.

Oh, my God. Look at all these creeps.

Oh, my God. Look at this.

Oh, my God. Look, the Satanists are leaving.

Oh, my God. The National Psoriasis Foundation?

Oh, my God. You guys, I can't believe we made it.

Oh, shit. What time is it?

Oh, that is such a big word for you, Roberta.

Oh, that.

Oh, wait.

Oh, we have to get together this summer.

Oh, we totally have to.

Oh, we totally have to.

Oh, yeah, and be sure to wear that sexy green cardigan.

Oh, yeah?

Oh. Bitchin'.

Oh. I thought maybe this was supposed to be your father.

Oh. If you like authentic blues...

Oh. Well, this looks like the work of Phillip.

OK, because I have some very, very important news...

OK, that's...

OK, well, forget the art show. Let's do something else, then.

OK, you can open your eyes now.

OK, you're right.

OK. Can we go?

OK. Party pooper.

OK. Thanks. Bye.

OK. Well, we'll see you later, Josh.

On that pathetic fake blind date?

On the face of the earth.

One decaf mocha.

One who is a performance artist...

Oops, I should go.

Open up your own theater.

Or he really thinks the bus is coming?

Or he really thinks the bus is coming?

Or we can do work that is more serious...

Other than that, I just prefer to have them on CD.

People still hate each other...

Phillip?

Picking cotton all day long

Please let me come with you. Please.

Please welcome to the stage...

Please, Becca.

Please.

Pretty well. Surprisingly, you know.

Provided that they're a sincere V plus.

Pseudo bohemian losers.

Pumpkin?

Pumpkin?

Pumpkin? Honey?

Really?

Really?

Really? I never really cared for those.

Really? Where?

Relax, Seymour. Relax.

Remember what I said when we first started?

Right.

Right. Exactly.

Right. One second.

Rock 'n' roll, baby. Freedom of speech.

Rock 'n' roll, baby. Freedom of speech.

Sacrifice virgins and stuff.

Said it would go better with my old time thingamajigs.

Same reason nobody knows about this Lionel Belasco record.

See you next week.

See you there, darling.

See?

See? That's barely even a joke.

Several of the parents have complained about it already.

Seymour does.

Seymour, did you have a chance...

Seymour, here.

Seymour, you are not a dork.

Seymour, you know that. Please.

Seymour! God.

Seymour! Just the man I want to see.

Seymour? No. You got to be kidding me.

She called before. It's just somebody trying to humiliate me.

She came here to live with us.

She could at least have the decency to call me back.

She didn't tell you about that?

She gets in one car wreck...

She just doesn't understand how I would know someone like you.

She said it didn't go with her stuff...

She was supposed to be here three hours ago.

She's nice, but, you know...

She's not at home?

She's over here right now. I think it's going pretty well.

Should we leave a note?

Shut up!

Shut up.

Since my life turned to shit.

Since when can you make a cake?

Since when were there mini malls in the 1950s?

Sing it a lullaby or use this. It's all I've got.

Slightly below the uterus on a female.

So all we have to do is buy semi expensive outfits...

So get ready to rock your world!

So I cut the ad out, and...

So I cut the ad out, and...

So I decided to do my project based on this discovery...

So I don't really get it.

So I'll be special, and I'll be rare

So I'll be special, and I'll be rare

So listen to me, Melorra.

So nice to see you again, ladies.

So there's this stupid art show I'm going to tonight...

So what if she's been dead for fifteen years?

So when are we gonna start looking for our apartment?

So you fill your life with stuff.

So, are we still going to that thing tonight?

So, how are things going with...

So, how are you?

So, how do you two know each other?

So, I was thinking that when we look for our apartment...

So, now are you going to get a regular job?

So, should I come over?

So, Todd, what are you going to be when you grow up?

So, was that your boyfriend?

So, we finally...

So, we should get together.

So, what are you guys doing this summer?

So, what are you guys up to?

So, what brings you down here?

So, what do you think?

So, what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?

So, when are you going to get a job?

So, where are you going to go to college?

So, where have you been?

So, where's the Weird AI guy?

So...

So... Excuse me.

Some people are OK...

Some records I will pay serious money for...

Sometimes I think I'm going crazy...

Somewhere downtown.

Son of a bitch.

Soon.

Sorry.

Sort of lost interest when I started working for them.

Sounds good.

Step in here for a minute.

Such as tea parties in the olden days...

Sure I am.

Sure, yeah.

Sure. Sure.

Sweetie, you remember Maxine?

Take my life... please.

Takes more than a fancy dress

Taking away something from this experience.

Talk to us about it.

Tell her to forget it. I don't need her help.

Thank you, everyone, for your patience.

Thank you.

Thanks for waiting.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks. So long, everyone.

That didn't sound like a joke to me.

That every single guy likes you better than me.

That guy is many things, but he's definitely not cool.

That guy spends more time in here than I do.

That I don't need to rely on drugs and alcohol...

That more people besides myself and Kerry...

That piece is entitled "Mirror, Father, Mirror."

That reissue some really great old blues stuff.

That responds to something you have strong feelings about.

That rules.

That to overcome life's obstacles...

That was good, too. The whole record was good...

That was great music, huh?

That was great.

That was great.

That was my mother.

That way, we only use up one.

That would be in the erotic drama section.

That you two would do something different.

That's a mistake.

That's a mongoose.

That's a vanilla milkshake.

That's all you're bringing?

That's excellent.

That's fine. Just breathe. Don't worry about it.

That's five hundred dollars.

That's for sure.

That's just great. When did you do that?

That's my work number...

That's nice, but no.

That's not for sale.

That's not officially for sale.

That's not true.

That's the spirit.

That's what I'm going to do.

That's where an artist takes an ordinary object...

That's who people want to rent to.

The best key to your particular lock.

The best way to look within yourselves...

The Donnie G show. Donnie G!

The first day you called.

The future is about to be placed...

The little ******* girl and her Aryan friend.

The title of the show will be...

The very best thing that ever happened to you.

Then again, what do I know? I like Laurel and Hardy movies.

Then how come I haven't had a girlfriend in four years?

Then I'm going to go over there and take it down myself.

Then we'll ease you into the big crowds, all right?

There are many different ways we can express ourselves.

There are no more buses on this street.

There are no other records like that.

There he is back there.

There might be some root beer.

There's a seat right there.

There's gonna be lots of girls to pick from at this bar.

There's some choice LPs in here...

There's some really rare performances.

There's something I want to show you.

These assholes are saying I have to go to summer school...

They could at least turn off their stupid sports game...

They were a present from Dana.

They were originally called Coon Chicken Inn.

They're forcing me to give you...

They're Seymour's.

They're Seymour's.

They're so great.

They're very sensitive about that kind of stuff at work.

They've already paid the earnest money.

They've already paid the earnest money.

This could be a really great thing for you.

This definitely falls into that higher category of art...

This guy has every reason to freak out.

This is a pretty fucked up thing to do to somebody.

This is a totally normal, average neighborhood.

This is computer catalogs and stuff.

This is girl mail.

This is my friend Seymour.

This is really creepy.

This is so bad, it's gone past good and back to bad again.

This is the one I'd recommend.

This is, like, my dream room.

This little break up might be...

This place is a total riot.

This shocking image of repressed femininity.

This type of thing must happen to him all the time.

This was during your little old lady phase.

This week we are featuring six gun strawberry...

This would be good, but there's no kitchen.

Those are all 78s. You play 78s?

To a word you're saying.

To be a girl they notice

To impart state of the art sound?

To meet women who share your interests.

To participate in a show of high school art...

To people that I'm meeting for the first time...

To talk about...

To talk with the parents about her intentions with this piece.

To think about what you might want for dinner while you were in here?

To try to create a piece of artwork...

Tonight, I have a very special partner...

Trust me, at this point, I'm past the fact...

Trying to find you.

Turn off that goddamn noise.

Twelve bar structure in its stanzas.

Unless they're in your summer school class.

Until he's done playing.

Until I get a job.

Used to be called Coon Chicken.

Wait a minute. It says five dollars.

Wait. Let me think of something to say to her first.

Waiting for the bus that never comes.

Wasted time, trying to logically figure out the female brain.

Watch and learn, padre.

Watch my stuff.

We can do things like these cartoons that are amusing...

We could really just see how we got along together...

We don't know yet. That's why we're looking.

We don't think so.

We got Blues Hammer coming up in just a minute.

We have to convince these people that we're totally rich yuppies.

We have to do something fun tonight.

We just need to find out what apartment he's in...

We just need to find you a place...

We need to find a place where you can go...

We should be promoting discussion as a solution...

We should call him and pretend to be the blond.

We should just get in your car right now and just drive off.

We're good friends, right?

We're here every Saturday.

We're looking for apartments.

We're not.

We've been waiting for this our whole lives.

Well, at least you're not the only one.

Well, bye, you guys.

Well, hello there, young employee of the Sidewinder.

Well, I found this when I was doing some research...

Well, I guess I see the teacup as a symbol for womanhood.

Well, I have some good news.

Well, I think it's a really wonderful piece...

Well, I will do no such thing.

Well, I'm going to this actor's workshop...

Well, I'm majoring in Business Administration...

Well, I'm the blonde in the yellow dress.

Well, I've really got to get going...

Well, I've really got to get going...

Well, it's like I always say...

Well, it's not completely hopeless for you.

Well, let's see if they bring it up...

Well, Maxine and I have been seeing a lot of each other.

Well, Melorra, I'll be right back.

Well, no, it's more of a found art object.

Well, someone from the past.

Well, that lets us off the hook.

Well, the whole business with the art show...

Well, these are all valid comments, but...

Well, we won't keep you.

Well, well, well.

Well, where the fuck is she?

Were you a fry cook or something?

Weren't injured in the accident.

What a little hose bag.

What about her? Are you into girls with big tits?

What about her? Would you go out with her?

What about... Did you like the Memphis Minnie?

What am I supposed to say?

What are you doing hanging here with all these losers?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? You don't ever criticize the feature.

What are you going to do now?

What are you studying?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? Who?

What are you trying to say?

What are you, a Klansman or something?

What can you tell me about this, Seymour?

What can you tell me, young man...

What can you tell us about it?

What can you tell us about this piece..

What can you tell us about your piece...

What do we have here, Margaret?

What do you do together? ls she into your old records and stuff?

What do you expect? I mean, considering how we met you...

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

What do you say you and me go hit some night spots?

What do you think this is, Club Med?

What do you think this is, Woodstock?

What do you think you're doing?

What do you want?

What do you want?

What does that mean, "someone like me"?

What fake blind date? What are you talking about?

What happened to Seymour?

What if he recognizes us?

What is it now?

What is that?

What is this, Seymour?

What is this?

What kind of a question is that?

What kind of loser gets fired after one day?

What the hell is wrong with you?

What thing?

What time?

What was all that about?

What, are we in slow motion here?

What, are you making pancakes?

What, did you place an ad in the personals or something?

What, is she black now?

What, like a girdle?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? I said great.

What? They're nice.

What? What's wrong with it? It looks totally normal.

What's her deal, anyway?

What's her name? Dana?

What's the matter?

What's the story with the two cheerleaders over there?

What's up, Josh? Give me two packs of cigarettes today.

What's up?

What's wrong with you, retard? It's 3:30.

What's wrong?

When I talked to you on the phone...

When I was about your age.

Where a guy like you can't get a date.

Where are we going?

Where are we? This is such a weird neighborhood.

Where did you get that?

Where is she, then?

Where is the love

Where you can meet someone...

Where?

Where'd you get those pants?

Who are you supposed to be, Cyndi Lauper?

Who could forget this great hit from the Fifties, huh?

Who does?

Who don't know the concept of value.

Who is responsible for this?

Who is this, Enid?

Who isn't a complete idiot, that's all.

Who would actually have sex with this thing?

Who'd go out with you in a minute.

Whoever told you that bullshit about boiling...

Why can't I just do what I want?

Why do I care about that?

Why do we have to go in here? I hate this place.

Why do you have this?

Why do you want it?

Why does the fat one always have to be so mean to the skinny one?

Why don't we start with that next week?

Why don't you just ask him?

Why don't you just tell me you don't want to live with me?

Why would she be hiding from me?

Why?

Why'd you bring the record?

Will it ever be?

Will sound identical to the original.

With a smile and a ribbon in my hair

Working overtime. Sixteen hours.

Would more accurately be classified in the ragtime idiom.

Would never be caught dead with me.

Wouldn't he be, like, totally pissed off?

Wow, it's 9:00 already.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow. This is so bad, it's almost good.

Wrong. A digital transfer, adequately mastered...

Yeah, a long time ago.

Yeah, a long time ago.

Yeah, but how are you going to pay rent and everything?

Yeah, but I don't know, I just...

Yeah, but I feel really weird.

Yeah, but put that aside for now.

Yeah, but... you know what I mean.

Yeah, he should totally just kill himself.

Yeah, he's beyond human stuff like that.

Yeah, I can tell you really love it.

Yeah, I guess. Call me.

Yeah, I just love blues.

Yeah, I... I don't think I should.

Yeah, I'm a Klansman.

Yeah, it's just...

Yeah, nice outfit.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, so just...

Yeah, sort of. I mean, she doesn't dislike that stuff.

Yeah, sure. Come on in.

Yeah, sure. Of course.

Yeah, sure. Very funny.

Yeah, well, Cook's is just a made up name.

Yeah, well, me, neither.

Yeah, well, thanks for cheering me up.

Yeah, well, we should get back.

Yeah, well.

Yeah, well...

Yeah, whatever. I mean, what do I know about clothes?

Yeah. Do you want to see it?

Yeah. I agree.

Yeah. It hasn't really hit me yet.

Yeah. She thinks you're a dork.

Yeah. Thanks.

Yeah. That'll definitely happen.

Yeah. Very close.

Yeah. You know, like, old Indian 1960s rock 'n' roll music.

Yeah. You met him, remember? That guy Josh.

Yes, here it is.

Yes, I been plowin'

Yes, what is it, Phyllis?

Yes, you did. Whoa.

You are such a stupid idiot.

You are, like, the luckiest guy in the world.

You better not...

You can even enroll in the winter quarter.

You can have that one.

You can't connect with other people...

You can't score a home run without swinging the bat.

You can't score a home run without swinging the bat.

You could purchase a large beverage?

You could walk there in two minutes.

You cunt.

You don't even have a job.

You don't have to. I'll pay for everything now...

You don't know what you're talking about.

You guys up for some reggae tonight?

You have five minutes left on your shift.

You have to take the whole class over again.

You know that tape sucked, by the way?

You know the Cook's Chicken franchise?

You know what my number one fantasy used to be?

You know what we should do?

You know, I bet there are tons of women...

You know, I can't afford stuff like this right now.

You know, if it wasn't for me...

You know, if that's...

You know, it's not like I'm some modern punk, dickhead.

You know, so I can hear how badly it went.

You know, that guy's band is playing tonight.

You know, you hate every single place that we look at.

You like them? They a good fit?

You liked it, huh?

You must know I always...

You need faith, hope...

You never asked me out?

You never paid me for that tape of the Indian dance routine.

You placed an ad in "The Weekly" over a month ago, and...

You really gotta check out Blues Hammer.

You seem a little stoned. What are you on?

You seem like an interesting chick.

You should come check it out.

You think it's healthy to obsessively collect things?

You think that's too soon?

You wish. You got to buy me dinner first.

You work for Cook's Chicken?

You'll never believe it. Guess.

You're a beautiful young girl.

You're all right.

You're crazy. It should be, like, two dollars.

You're doing all the work.

You're going to be up to your neck in pussy.

You're going to wish you had ten beers.

You're like... my hero.

You're listening to KFTO...

You're pretty sharp.

You're right about that.

You're still living out some stupid seventh grade fantasy!

You're the psycho.

You're wearing a green dress. What are you, Irish?

You've totally ignored me ever since high school ended.

Your striking blond.

7:30 p.m., sharp.

3128.

"Golden Wedding"? Oh, I know that.

All right. There we go. Thank you very much.

and take some stupid art class. Why?

Are you OK? Yeah.

Are you waiting for a bus? Yes.

Bingo. Did you hear something?

Can anybody drive? He's insane.

Citizen's arrest. You!

Citizen's arrest. You!

Come on. No, I don't really dance.

Congratulations. Thank you. Have a seat.

Do not touch that... OK, I have a solution.

Don't turn around. What? Why?

Enid. Enid.

Fuck you. You dated him.

Get a job. God, fuck you.

Great job. Thank you.

Guess. How should I know?

Hello? Hey. It's me.

Hey, Rebecca. Oh, hi.

Hey. Damn it. Come on. Get...

Hi, Al. Can we call you "Weird Al"?

How much is it? $1.75.

I don't think she's even here. You're kidding.

I don't think so. Please. Please.

I still live with my mother. He's the absolute worst.

I want to do him. I bet.

I would really rather not. Come on. Please?

Is he done? Yes.

Is that right? I would have...

It's my shtick. Well, lose it.

It's not that much. That's not the point.

Jesus! Oh, yay.

Melorra. Ah, Melorra.

Mind if I sit down? Yes.

Not the Maxine? Yeah.

Oh, hi. So, what happened?

Oh, look, there he is. As always.

Oops, I dropped it! Jeez!

Please, Josh? No.

Please? It'll be super fun. Please, Josh?

She says she wants to... Shut up!

So sorry if it offended Jew. Go die, asshole.

So, we finally made it, huh? Yeah.

Sorry. Go ahead. We're almost done.

Tell me what? Punk rock is over.

That guy rules! Who, Doug?

That must be it. Great.

This is Enid. Hello.

Uh oh. Don't worry, it's nothing bad.

We should follow him home. Forget it.

We're old friends. Really?

Well, enjoy the show. Thank you.

Well, I'm sorry, Enid... Can you help me out here?

What? Five hundred.

What? What?

What? You're joking. Yeah, so I better go.

What's going on? Call the cops, man.

What's this? That's Dana's.

Where's all your stuff? There.

Which one? The blond guy over there.

Who? You give up?

Yeah. You got a pen? Yeah.

Yes! We did it!

You also invented homos. Fuck you.

You can count on me, sir. Cool.

You know, I'm not even trying... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You like old music? Yeah, it's good.

You're going to leave that? Why not?

You're late, asshole. Fine, and how are you?

'Cause this is the day of our high school graduation

'Cause we gonna play some authentic...

"91/2 Weeks" with Mickey Rourke.

"Am I crazy, or did we have a moment?"

"Brotherhood and Community: Art as Dialogue."

"but you were not home. Therefore, you are gay."

"Dear Josh, we came by to fuck you..."

"deep fried with side and slaw. It's outrageous!"

"Do you remember me, airport shuttle, June 7?"

"Four piece Cook's special..."

"Gee, I can't wait to live in some depressing shit hole...

"I was the bookish fellow in the green cardigan..."

"KTO coming at you on this beautiful evening."

"Let's hit the clubs, make each other laugh."

"nonsmoking feminist and her two cats."

"out in the middle of nowhere"?

"pearl necklace, brown shoes."

"Signed Tiffany and Amber."

"The Flower That Drank The Moon..."

"The Flower That Drank The Moon"?

"The W.C. Fields Fan Club Newsletter"?

"Where on the human body is the Douglas pouch located?"

"who helped you find your contact lens."

"Windsurfing doctor, Mensan IQ, maverick Sagittarius."

"Wowsville"? Authentic Fifties diner?

"You, striking blond with yellow dress..."

"Your own apartment."