Stripes (1981) Edit

A black beIt who can levitate.

A couple of soldiers took it to get it washed, sir.

A face bounce! A double face bounce!

A little bit lumpy.

A little English?

A real beauty, colonel. You can count on us.

A somersault up to the knees, to a butt banister...

A three round match, five minute time limit, one pin only.

A triple head! Oh, no! Oh, he's hurt!

Actually, I'm a photographer. I took this job because I love people.

All I know is, I finally get to kill somebody.

All I'm saying is you get out of it exactly what you put into it.

All I've got are a lot of bad habits and a lot of bad debts.

All right, come to papa. Toss that thing. Let's go.

All right, everybody's coming to my place. This is ridiculous.

All right, go to your neutral corners, and we will begin the match!

All right, Klaus, hold it up right here.

All right, let's do a little singing this morning.

All right, men, fall in alongside this roadway in a column of two.

All right, now if you'll just give UncIe Sam your autograph here.

All right, now this is the second time we've let you guys off.

All right, soldier, let's see how you fire that mortar.

All right, stand back from the door. I'm gonna blow it.

All right, steady, steady.

All right, we're here! Come on.

All right, we're moving out! Move!

All right, you've looked at the general's refrigerator long enough.

All right!

All right.

All we have to do...

Allow me.

Also, I don't like nobody touching me.

An Army without leaders is like a foot...

And before I leave you...

And during this match there will be absolutely no biting.

And here goes five. Will he do it?

And I don't like nobody touching my stuff!

And I don't think I want to take your abuse.

And I thought to myself, "Join the Army. It's free."

And I want to thank you for making me join the Army.

And if you want my honest opinion...

And in the morning we can chop down a big tree...

And make no mistake.

And maybe someday you'll understand what the hell I'm talking about.

And no pulling of the nose.

And now?

And right shoulder, ho!

And Sergeant Hulka isn't always gonna be there...

And that's one. All right. He's off.

And then we're gonna do 10 miles, rain or shine.

And then we're gonna dry the meat for traveling.

And we could find a river that'll probably run down to the ocean.

And when he sees what total fuck ups you really are...

And you let no one in there. No one! Not even the colonel!

Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.

Any of you suckholes want to come up here and knock me off?

Anything I could tell you would be a Iie, captain...

Anyway, I went to this doctor.

Anyway, it costs 400 bucks to join this thing.

Are either of you homosexuals?

Are those my men, corporal?

Aren't you going too fast?

Army training, sir!

As far as I'm concerned, Sergeant Crocker's 100 percent responsible...

As you may know, General Barnicke...

At ease, sergeant.

Barnicke?

Barnicke?!

Bathroom, girls. Bathroom.

Bathroom. Bathroom.

Beat the shit out of them, Ox!

Because tonight we're gonna go out and kill a wild boar.

Because.... That's why guys in my car club call me "The Cruiser."

Before we proceed any further...

Behind you! Hey, she's not even in the fight.

Best bunk, right here.

Best bunk? Best bunk is....

Black guys, help the white guys, okay?

Blown up, sir!

Boxer or jockey?

Bravo Company!

Brew.

Bullshit. You're not the type.

Buona sera, gentlemen.

But everybody calls me Psycho.

But just one more time.

But now I know why I have aIways lost women to guys like you.

But that's me. I'm an aggressive gambler. Mr. Vegas.

But there is one thing that we all have in common.

But there's no animal that's more faithful...

But we're in Italy, so you've gotta make mine. It's regulations.

But we're supposed to graduate tomorrow, sir.

Bye bye.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Captain Stillman.

Chicago.

Climb aboard, soldier.

Code 21. Go ahead.

Colombia. Love weed.

Come here.

Come on, guys!

Come on, John.

Come on, rhythm. Hut, two, three, four.

Come on, you know my sister. You practically ****d her one night.

Come on!

Come on! I'll walk on your ass, boy! I was killing

Come on. Don't waste it.

Come on. Go for it. Go for it.

Come on. I'm in good shape. I'm walking tall.

Come on. I'm part of a lost and restless generation.

Come on. Let's go.

Come with me, my dear.

Congratulations. You just doubled your money.

Corporal Briggs, we have a comedian in our midst.

Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out!

Cut it out! Stop!

Cut that out! Cut that out!

Cut that out. Cut that out.

Damn it, though, we're so close. I'd love to just go take a look.

Dare me. Go on, bluff me. Come on.

Dare me. Go on, bluff me. Come on.

Did you check him off, Louise?

Did you ever see a monk get wildly fucked by some teenage girls?

Didn't everybody make it with a beautiful MP tonight, huh?

Dismissed, captain.

Do the words "act of war" mean anything to you, huh?

Do you want me to notify post security, sir?

Does this do anything for you? French girls do it all the time.

Doesn't surprise me. You look like a typical lowlife character to me.

Don't forget, you promised me a real expensive dinner...

Don't make me shoot you.

Don't scratch them.

Don't stop.

Don't you ever touch me again, ever.

Easy. Louise, what do you think of me?

Especially this close to the end of basic training.

Even before I picked this up.

Everybody back! Everybody back!

Except they're not as sophisticated.

Excuse me, stewardess. Is there a movie on this flight?

Excuse me. General Hansen?

Fall in for muster. Move it! Move it!

Fall in!

Fall in!

Fall out!

Fifteen and a half.

Fifty one, 52....

Find John, will you? I'm gonna kill him.

Fine looking group of men, wouldn't you say so?

Fine.

Five pushups?

Folks, don't order the schnitzel. They're using schnauzer.

For chrissakes, captain. We broke through the

For chrissakes, captain. We broke through the

For you.

Forward march!

Forward, arms!

Four hundred thirteen dollars and 58 cents!

From the United States Military Academy, John Winger.

Fuck this.

Gentlemen, it's party time, Italian style!

Gentlemen, this is the EM 50 Urban Assault Vehicle.

Gentlemen, we are in Germany!

Get down and give me 50, mother!

Get down.

Get him off! Get him off!

Get him!

Get it.

Get me out of here.

Get on your feet!

Get these bunks made up! Get your gear stored!

Get up!

Get up. Come on. You're not going anywhere.

Get your butt down, soldier. You'll get it shot off someday. Move it!

Get your goat smelling ass out of here!

Give me a kick, honey.

Go ahead.

Go away.

Go get them!

Go, man!

Go!

Go! Go! Go!

Going south today? All right.

Good morning.

Good one, Russell.

Good.

Good.

Grenade!

Gunther, get yourself a new Volkswagen, huh?

Gutless.

Guys have trouble with girls that are armed.

Hang on!

Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna Krishna, Krishna

Have a nice weekend.

Have it your way, sir.

Have that removed, corporal.

Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor?

He has selected this platoon for this assignment...

He said he couldn’t make it. Why don't you do it?

He said he had a plan. Now, just give him a chance.

He still owes me money. Hey, Barney!

He's almost set. He's eyeing that rug.

He's gonna do a reverse mo fo.

He's moving now. That's two.

Hello, hello!

Hello!

Hello?

Hello?

Help!

Here you are.

Hey, baby, want to come to my place?

Hey, can I take your last beer?

Hey, do something about this, ref! What kind of place you running here?

Hey, graduation's at 2:00. What time is it now?

Hey, Hansel, Gretel! Hey, we're your allies.

Hey, move that cab, buddy!

Hey, Russell.

Hey, stupid, look at yourself!

Hey, they're about to start shooting at us.

Hey, this is a loading zone. You can't park here.

Hey, wait a minute! Wait! Hey!

Hey, watch it. A guy could get hurt.

Hey, we're walking.

Hey, where's the EM 50?

Hey! You can't stop in the middle of a bridge!

Hey. Yes, thank you. Toss that up here.

Hi, baby. You're home a little early, aren't you?

Hi, John.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. I'm John Winger of the United States Army...

Hit it!

Hold it!

Hold on, honey. I got a special tool for you.

Hold that, corporal.

How about that lunch? What was that brown stuff?

How do you know?

How much should I bet?

How's it going, Eisenhower?

How's that sound to you, mister?

How's this? How's this?

Hut, ho, hut!

Hut, two, three, four!

Hut, two, three, four.

I ain't talking about that crap! I'm talking about something important.

I am going to write your name down...

I am the little acorn that becomes the oak.

I am, aren't I?

I bet you can't do five pushups.

I can see that, corporal. Dismissed.

I can see you've got this all figured out.

I can't believe they're Russian spies. Can you?

I can't believe we're doing this.

I can't believe we're pIaying this.

I can't handle basic training again, man.

I can't hear you! You two should tie the knot!

I can't stop! Please!

I certainly meant no offense by it. It won't happen again.

I cried my eyes out.

I didn't talk you into this. You needed this.

I do not want to hear one more insubordinate word...

I don't care where you come from, I don't care what color you are...

I don't care, sergeant. Just load the truck, and let's move out.

I don't know what I want.

I don't know what kind of shit you pulled at graduation...

I don't know what kind of soldier I'll make...

I don't think I wanna go to the stockade.

I don't think I've ever been this happy.

I don't think so and I don't care and I don't have the time.

I don't think you'd think it's funny, sir. Sergeant.

I feel like I'm 16 years old in my parents' house...

I go back, get a new apartment...

I go in the Army, they turn my body into a dangerous weapon.

I got $3 says I can do five pushups.

I got a hell of a sense of humor. Ain't I, Corporal Briggs?

I got a nice, warm cab right here. You sure?

I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it.

I got you a pizza too.

I gotta dry out, or I'll be dead before I'm 30.

I gotta get in shape.

I gotta live with 37?

I guess that's no on both.

I guess we're going after John and Russell.

I had a real bad day.

I hate tourist season.

I have a platoon and CO being held by hostile enemy...

I just can't take this anymore.

I just had the weirdest dream. John.

I just know that I don't want you.

I just wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning.

I knew it. I had that feeling.

I knew that wasn't gonna sound good.

I know I don't want to take you to the airport. How about that, huh?

I know I'm speaking for the entire platoon when I say...

I know. I gotta straighten out.

I learned a lot of things today, John.

I learned two semesters of geology in three hours.

I love those guys. We're their only chance.

I mean, Charles de Gaulle was a general. You're smarter than him.

I mean, the Iron Curtain, it's gotta look great. I'd love to have a picture of it.

I need some heavy discipline in my Iife.

I need somebody who's gonna develop with me and grow. Goodbye.

I need two volunteers.

I need you.

I ought to run right down there and join up, huh?

I saw them when I was working on unemployment. They're like us.

I see.

I should've kept my head down.

I spent most of my life in institutions.

I think I'm good at this.

I think it sucks.

I think some of these plants are edible.

I think that we owe a big round of applause...

I think this is the greatest day I've ever spent.

I think we might have to settle for a motel.

I think we should find a hotel room.

I think we should go to California again and pick fruit.

I think you're ready for the Special Olympics.

I thought I'd better join before I got drafted.

I used to wrestle. There's no tables.

I wanna know who it was.

I want some action!

I want to party with you, cowboy.

I want to see you walking tall...

I want you to call me Russell, and I'm gonna call you by your first names...

I was going to the laundry, get my uniform.

I was shot up pretty bad.

I was testing you.

I was wondering if you.... Are you...

I'll be in my office if you need me.

I'll be over there in Nepal with those monkey head chicks.

I'll come out a human killing machine.

I'll do it!

I'll kill you. Whose idea was this?

I'll respect you even more.

I'll still respect you.

I'll take care of you.

I'll take my hat off.

I'll take that right now!

I'm a gentleman. Now stop it.

I'm a shy guy...

I'm basically a shy person.

I'm Captain Hollister, Special Operations Group. Who are you?

I'm falling apart here.

I'm getting the idea, Winger, that you don't like me.

I'm getting too old for this shit!

I'm going Army.

I'm gonna bust your butts...

I'm gonna go out on a limb here.

I'm gonna kill you! Damn you!

I'm gonna volunteer my leadership to this platoon.

I'm gonna walk out of here a lean, mean, fighting machine.

I'm in a hurry.

I'm looking good. First weekend in Europe.

I'm not gonna accept anything less than $100.

I'm not saying that the Army will be able to do for you what it did for me.

I'm Sergeant Hulka.

I'm sorry about what happened at the meeting.

I'm sure there's a lot of ways I've gone that you haven't.

I'm willing to forget about this little incident.

I'm with the U.S. Army, 41st Armored Division, Bravo Company.

I'm your drill sergeant.

I've always been kind of a pacifist.

I've been reading books on the outside so I can keep up with you.

I've got a problem, and I need your help.

I've had an interesting morning.

I've never felt more alive in my whole life.

I've never gone this way before.

I've seen that on cable TV, and it did nothing for me.

I've seen the kind of guys that enlist in the Army.

I've seen your kind come and go.

If I call Anita, she has to pick me up at the train, right?

If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you.

If it were me, I'd bet everything.

If it's a Status 7 like you said, they went in undercover.

If they're not here in five minutes, I want them arrested.

If we screw up graduation, we'll have to take basics all over again.

If we're lucky, we'll drift into those major shipping lanes...

If you'd like to be part of it, call this number toll free.

In the jeep.

In the last two hours...

In the last two hours...

Incoming!

Inside.

Inside. Off the bus.

Interim reports! That's all I ever do around here.

Is it fair that you were born like this? No!

Is there a bathroom around here? I gotta pee.

Isn't this fun? You're pretty good for a first time, really.

It hasn't been a week, John. It's been six months.

It is alive.

It ought to be.

It's a hundred ways to prove yourself.

It's a little cute.

It's a pleasure to see you, sir. Welcome to Fort Arnold.

It's all over with now. We might as well not even show up to graduation.

It's always your fault. You are not capable of handling

It's because of you people that I cannot get outside!

It's cold streams that chill your bones and a hot meal to warm you up.

It's come to my attention...

It's cool. All right.

It's cutting time.

It's gonna be kind of weird till then, but....

It's just not that cute anymore.

It's just you and me, kid, man to man.

It's just you, me and Uncle Sam.

It's learning how to be a soldier. And how to be much more.

It's me.

It's not funny.

It's not just the uniform.

It's okay. Special assignment.

It's softball and low bridges.

It's the Pom Pom. It's famous. It's world famous.

It's the stories that you tell.

It's time you and me had a private talk, Winger.

It's us, Winger! Get us out!

Jeez.

John Ringer? What kind of a name is Ringer?

John, no, it's not gonna work. I like you, but I need something more.

John, over here!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John! John! We're missing graduation.

John?

John.

John.

John. John.

Just don't get it on my shoes, okay? Hello?

Just get on the plane.

Just use more whipped cream.

Keep it moving! Let's go!

Knock it off.

Lee Harvey...

Left face!

Left flank, left!

Left, left, left, right, left.

Left, right, left, right, left, right.

Left, right, left, right.

Let me tell you something, mister.

Let's get out of here!

Let's get some people and some relics, and we'll do it.

Let's go upstairs and check out the general's closets.

Let's go. There's a time limit here.

Let's see. Sergeant Hulka is on the confidence course.

Lighten up, Francis.

Like discipline and duty and honor and courage. You ain't got none of it.

Listen, if I get killed, my blood is on your hands.

Listen, if this is gonna get you in trouble, we'll leave. All right?

Look at that. Bend over. Drop the soap. Oh, tits. Good.

Look out, Louise! There's a tank behind us! Move it!

Look, if you don't want me in your Army, kick me out...

Louise, it's so nice to see you. What are you doing here?

Louise, it's so nice to see you. What are you doing here?

Madam, perhaps you'd like to eat your luggage.

Major Ellis would like you to look over these interim reports, captain, sir.

Maybe I just don't know you well enough yet, sarge.

Maybe I should fold.

Maybe they couldn't find the parade grounds.

Maybe you need this.

Maybe you'd like to take a swing at me.

Maybe.

Men, I realize this tragic injury to your drill sergeant is a real shock.

Men, welcome to the United States Army.

Mom! I'm home!

Most guys couldn't even handle you.

Move it out!

Move it!

Move it!

Move it!

Move it! Do it!

Move it! Move it!

My hobbies are fast cars and fast women.

My job is to see that big, strong men like you...

My man. My big man here is gonna do it all for us...

My name is Russell Ziskey...

My name's Dewey Oxberger. My friends call me Ox.

My name's Howard J. Turkstra. I'm from Kansas City.

My people, we're number one. All right.

My report states that Crocker was negligent in his mortar instructions...

Need a little help.

Next.

Nice going, asshole.

Nice shot, John.

Nice to know you can move like that when you have to.

No problem, sergeant.

No questions, please.

No stragglers. Now come on.

No, I'm not a general, but may I help you?

No, it's not the speed really so much.

No, it's okay. General Barnicke's gone until tomorrow morning.

No, not with a hand like that. Come on.

No, sir. If we turn right, we're gonna

No, sir. Oh, here come your men now, sir.

No, sir. Those are Captain Benton's men, sir.

No, we're just good friends.

No, we're not homosexual, but we are willing to Iearn.

No. I've always thought about joining the Army.

No. I've seen that.

No. No, don't stop.

Nobody cried when Old Yeller got shot? I'm sure.

Not that good though.

Not yet, ma'am.

Nothing doing. We'd be the laughingstock...

Nothing.

Nothing's changed.

Now fire the weapon.

Now listen to me. You're gonna finish basic training...

Now set it and fire it.

Now we don't have to worry...

Now, any of you homos...

Now, do what I do...

Now, don't forget, this is a big secret, so you can't tell anybody, okay?

Now, I don't care what you heard.

Now, since nobody else has got the guts...

Now, sometimes the Army's your best shot.

Now, when you invade a hostile foreign nation...

Off the bus. Right on inside.

Off the low meter board.

Oh, amazing.

Oh, and by the way, handsome...

Oh, Cruise, it's been a lot of fun the first time, hasn't it?

Oh, God, I wish I was a loofah. Look at that! That's....

Oh, God, look at that.

Oh, good.

Oh, goodbye.

Oh, I didn't know they could do that.

Oh, I like that.

Oh, I wanted it Oh, I'm sorry!

Oh, I wrote. I didn't know if you'd come.

Oh, it's real tough stuff. Especially that marching in a straight line business.

Oh, jeez! Now you done it.

Oh, look at those men.

Oh, my Oh, my God! Mama!

Oh, my balls. Oh, my balls.

Oh, my God, what an idiot. He's working on it.

Oh, my hero.

Oh, my!

Oh, not yet. Please, not yet! Oh, please!

Oh, parted my hair.

Oh, shit.

Oh, Stillman freaked out when the MPs brought us back.

Oh, this is interesting.

Oh, this is nice, really.

Oh, where did you learn that? Oh, where did you learn that?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I want that so clean I could eat off the floor.

Oh, you old dog.

Okay, all right.

Okay, girls, go get them!

Okay, great, great. All right, we'll see you next week.

Okay, guys, you're home. Get out.

Okay, I know you're anxious to jump right in and start speaking English...

Okay, let's go. Five good ones. Come on.

Okay, let's go. Let's load that truck.

Okay, major, let's go!

Okay, mister...

Okay, Mr. Pushups. Let's hear your story.

Okay, sir.

Okay. That's really very good. I'd like to try just one more time...

On your feet, boy.

One of these men may save your life one of these days, understand?

One seventy five now! One seventy five here! One eighty!

Order, ho!

Order, ho!

Out of them bunks!

Out, please!

Ox, we got medals. Look. Valortorious Service. Thank you.

Pills.

Pizzas!

Platoon, ten hut!

Platoon...

Platoon...

Pleasure to meet you, Hollister. Heard a lot about you.

Pretty much got that roach problem licked.

Queen Anne salute!

Queen Anne salute!

Raise it, sergeant.

Real go getters.

Reveille is 0500.

Right face!

Right face!

Right on inside.

Right shoulder, arms!

Right shoulder, arms!

Right shoulder, ho!

Right.

Russell, that is our platoon out there. That's Ox and Elmo and Cruiser.

Russell!

Russell?

Russell. He should be here.

Sarge, what are you doing? Sarge, what are you doing?!

Second, when I finish all my training, I'm probably gonna be a typist.

See, we're in ltaly. The guy on the top bunk...

Senator, hang onto that, will you, for me?

Send help. I gotta get moving.

Sergeant Crocker is on the mortar range.

Sergeant Hulka?

Sergeant Hulka.

Sergeant, does this mean we're through for the day?

Sergeant, when I want your input, I will ask for it. Thank you.

Sergeant.

Shit!

Should call him "The Dork."

Shut up! Just shut up, will you!

Side step right!

Sir, if you'll take my advice, there's a crack squad in the 42nd...

Sir, these are Sergeant Hulka's men. He was injured during basic training.

Sir, those numb nuts can't even tie their own shoelaces.

Sit down.

Sixteen? Wanna play Spin the Bottle?

So go ahead, give it your best shot.

So how many of you would say you speak English fairly well...

So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds.

So just keep your meat hooks off.

So let's not let it happen a third time. Is that clear?

So much fun and imagination.

So the basic problem is that I'm still around?

So the DOD won't even acknowledge it.

So we're all dogfaces. We're all very, very different.

So where you from, Tex?

So why don't you just move along and get on the bus?

So you better hit them bunks, my little babies...

So, what are you guys gonna do?

So, what do we do now?

So, what, I guess we dig each other...

Soldier, the Army has spent a lot of money teaching you how to fire that.

Something seriously wrong with us.

Something's blocking the road. Hang on!

Son of bitch. Shit.

Son, there ain't no draft no more.

Sorry.

Spend a couple days eating room service.

Stand up when I'm sticking you, boy!

Stands for military police. Are you on one of these buses?

Step back!

Step down. Grab your papers.

Step into my office.

Stillman!

Stow your tray table in the upright position, will you?

Stupid jerks.

Stupid!

Such a truck would be good for picking up girls in Minsk.

Swing at me.

Take about an hour. We could drive over, get pictures and come back.

Take it easy, Francis Psycho.

Take one step back, Winger.

Tell me.

Ten hut!

Ten hut!

Terrific. Corporal, bring up the jeep.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, captain.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. It's great to be back home.

Thanks a lot, Winger!

Thanks for the ride, pal.

That does sound nice.

That guy was like a member of the steel plate club.

That's a good idea.

That's different.

That's even better.

That's good. Good.

That's good. Now your name.

That's just the way we like to keep it, captain.

That's my car!

That's my man out there! My champ! Now stop it!

That's none.

That's not what I heard.

That's robbery, ****, car theft, that sort of thing?

That's three.

That's three.

That's what you said last week.

The absence of a plan is ridiculous.

The Army can make you feel a lot of ways:

The Army's my only chance.

The GI Bill. Borrow all the money you want.

The important thing is not to panic.

The name's Francis Soyer.

The Pentagon wants to unveil it for the news media next month in Italy.

The plane's coming apart.

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog, sir!

The Russians would just have to buy her dinner.

The subject is closed.

The two of us together, forget it.

Then again, maybe one of us won't.

Then you drive your cab, what, a couple hours?

Then you watch movies until dawn, and then...

There are two things I promised myself I'd never do:

There must be a bathroom here somewhere.

There we are, Winger. Ain't no more drill sergeant.

There you go. A little bit lumpy. You're a little bit lumpy.

There's a couple things I want to get straight with you right off the bat.

There's nothing I enjoy more than meeting someone like yourseIf...

There's some questions I have to ask. They're a little personal.

There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us.

These are 34s, and they're loose.

These are Elmo’s microdots. That's acid.

These are exactly the kind of go getters...

They don't know how to come on. Do you know the rest of your problem?

They don't know how to come on. Do you know the rest of your problem?

They got a hundred Baryshnikovs running around.

They got guys who like to do that, John. Let's give them a call, okay?

They got him down and they got him pinned!

They make me a black belt.

They ship it anywhere you want.

They'd better be in there.

They're not expecting somebody like you. They're expecting a slug.

They're probably heading right for East Berlin.

They're Russian troops, about 200.

Think we could do that?

Thirty three.

This guy's doing pretty well. Interested?

This is amazing. You wouldn't believe what this thing could do.

This is Basic English.

This is my mission. I would appreciate if you let me run it. Thank you.

This is pretty sweet. Free clothing.

This is the Army.

This is the Army.

This is the EM 50?

This isn't what you think.

This might be fun.

This one's light. Stand out of the way.

Those are damn fine men. Are they in my company?

Those guys are dead.

Those muscles.

Those words mean so much to a man who scrubs garbage cans.

Three o’clock! We're missing it!

Three o’clock. We've still got an hour to sleep.

Three threes and two sixes, that's a full house. What have you got?

Three, five, seven!

Tito Puente is gonna be dead, and you'll say:

Tomorrow you'll be on parade in front of General Barnicke.

Too bad the girls are in Germany.

Took it to get it washed?!

Twenty seven, 28....

Two in the jeep.

Two things, John: First of all, they hate your guts.

UncIe Hulka?

Wait a minute!

Wake up, man! We're missing it.

Wash off the soap. That's right. Wash it off.

Watch out for this guy. He's a troublemaker.

We are in serious troubIe.

We are the wretched refuse.

We can do this. We just have to practice.

We can forget all about the tearful reunion.

We checked the barracks, sir. They're not there.

We could get...

We could take them up in the Alps for a little spin.

We don't have to worry...

We go down to the motor pool.

We got a full day ahead of us.

We got each other.

We got one heavily armed recreational vehicle here, man.

We got some naked animals in here we don't want you to see.

We just want to get back to our hotel rooms...

We should, like, build a shelter, I think.

We were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army.

We were going to the Bingo parlor...

We were going to the Bingo parlor...

We work on it all night. We get it together.

We zip in, we pick them up and we zip right out again.

We'd have that EM 50 back here inside of 24 hours.

We'll have them photographed putting the 50 through its paces.

We'll take care of these two.

We're all very different people.

We're Americans. With a capital A, huh?

We're gonna check out General Barnicke's house. He's in Washington.

We're gonna fall out with locker boxes...

We're gonna muster in front of the motor pool at 0600! Got it?

We're gonna see what kind of soldier you are.

We're gonna start out with a five mile run.

We're gonna start the bidding.

We're here!

We're here.

We're mutants.

We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia.

We're not gonna let you drive now, you sit right down here.

We're not parking it. We're abandoning it.

We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans.

We're soldiers, but we're American soldiers.

We're the underdog. We're mutts.

We're trying to get over there, do some skiing.

We've been kicking ass for 200 years! We're 10 and 1!

We've been practicing all night, and we stink.

We've had it.

We've traced the EM 50 to Germany.

Welcome to Italy.

Well, explain yourselves.

Well, get out.

Well, go ahead and give it your best shot.

Well, he told me I swallowed a lot of aggression...

Well, I didn't have the money.

Well, I never heard of you. And you're not on my roster.

Well, I was gonna go over there. We could use your car.

Well, I was kind of thinking we'd get a couple companions this weekend.

Well, I'll tell you what, soldier. Let's make it 10 miles.

Well, I'm still in. Cruise, how about you?

Well, if somebody breaks your force field, then you win.

Well, it's a standard question we have to ask.

Well, it's nice to know you can make me so hot.

Well, let me see. Let me see first.

Well, okay, hotshot.

Well, one just now and one in the barracks.

Well, one thing led to another...

Well, sir, we were....

Well, sir, we were....

Well, that hurts, ma'am.

Well, that was interesting.

Well, where are my men?

Well, why don't you tell me your joke, son?

Well, you lose. If you would've had four fours, you would've won.

What a jerk!

What an idiot. Get in here.

What are you doing? No, get off. See, you gotta make my bunk.

What are you looking at? Keep your eyes out there.

What do you say let's cut out the bullshit between you and me?

What do you think?

What General Barnicke wants from you...

What if the Russians were raping your sister?

What is their struggle?

What is your name?

What kind of training, son?

What the ? A surprise party!

What the hell's the matter with you?

What the hell's the matter with you?

What, are you smuggling furs or something?

What, the Army?

What, you want me to run for the Senate?

What's everybody so down about?

What's the matter with you?

What's your problem, boy?

When I tell you to jump...

When I tell you to move...

When I was a kid my father told me, "Never hit anyone in anger...

When the Army entrusts an important project like this to an officer...

When you stole that cow...

Where are you going? You going AWOL? Are you going AWOL?

Where is it?

Where the hell have you been, soldier?

Where were you two blocks ago when we could've used you?

Where's my truck? Hey!

Where's the great pay? Where's the travel?

Where's the Winnebago? Goddamn it! Shit!

Which is perfect for me.

Who cares about fair? The worId isn't fair! Truth isn't fair!

Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end?

Who said that? Pick that up! Who said that?

Who saw Old Yeller?

Who?

Who's gonna make the beds?

Who's your friend? Who's your buddy?

Why do we want prisoners? What do we want with prisoners?

Why, boy...

Will you guys just relax? We got plenty of time. What time is it now?

Will you stop?! Turn around! Watch the road! Stop with the pictures!

Will you take this comedian outside...

Winger. I'm adopted.

Would you be careful with those?

Would you get back in the car?!

Yeah, but these are girls. They're weak and soft.

Yeah, dysentery guaranteed.

Yeah, I'm becoming aware of that, you know.

Yeah, we won't go in.

Yeah, we're with them.

Yeah, would they send us someplace special?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Just follow me.

Yeah. Yeah, I bet you did.

Yes, sergeant!

Yes, sir?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. It's a tank or something.

Yes, sir. They determine where the mortar's

Yes, sir. You can count on me, sir.

Yes, well. Get them inside...

Yes, yes, there we go. I'm in.

Yes, you speak some English?

Yes. I want to thank you for saving my life over in Vietnam.

Yo. Here we are, my man.

You all right?

You and you.

You bet.

You borrow the money, you buy a Winnebago.

You can beat me as much as you want!

You can tell me now...

You can't go! All the plants are gonna die!

You come home, you order out food...

You coming in?

You could join a monastery.

You could probably be a general in a year.

You desert now, it's a federal offense.

You don't say "sir" to me. I'm a sergeant. I work for a living.

You don't think that takes energy? You're a sexual dynamo.

You ever heard stories about the gratitude of the Nepalese people?

You figure it out.

You get in here. Come on.

You get lots of travel. Kathmandu, guaranteed.

You got a problem, boy?

You got a six to eight week training program here, a tough one.

You got something in a low rise bikini? Mesh, if possible.

You gotta go back. You're already dirty. Come on.

You grabbed me, pulled me into a foxhole and patched me up.

You just made the list, buddy.

You keep your mouth shut about this. Do you understand me?

You know something, soldier. I've noticed you're always last.

You know what that means?

You know, how much can you straighten out in one week?

You know, I think this guy Stillman is really dangerous.

You know, my father was here during the war.

You know, there's a strip search before you get on the bus.

You know, these aggressive training courses like EST, those type of things.

You know, this is the cold and flu season.

You know, you're very pretty...

You look good.

You look like a sensitive, intelligent guy.

You mean, like, flaming or...?

You men are a disgrace.

You might have noticed I've got a slight weight problem.

You say the nicest things.

You screw this up, Stillman...

You should have your license taken away.

You sleep in till noon, then you watch Rocky and Bullwinkle.

You stand in place.

You still have your health.

You think it's like a health club with neat uniforms or something.

You think this guy's overdoing it a bit?

You think you know something about everything, don't you?

You white guys'll probably get five years.

You would be, man. You could go right into Intelligence.

You....

You'd better stop worrying about what happened to Hulka...

You'll guard this vehicle until 0800 on Monday morning...

You're a bum!

You're a lean, mean, fighting machine!

You're a trained killer!

You're all in this together.

You're different. You're weird. You're a mutant. You're a killer!

You're going nowhere, John.

You're gonna be just fine in about 12 hours.

You're head over heels in love with me.

You're heavily armed.

You're hopelessly, deeply in love with me, aren't you?

You're kidding.

You're late on the payments, pal.

You're nobody's fool when it comes to your future, John.

You're not gonna report this or anything, are you?

You're sticking on the bottom, dear. Keep hopping. Keep hopping, honey!

You're welcome to stay at my place if you want.

You've got some warped idea about the Army.

You've got three days to get it together.

You've heard of the EM 50 project?

Your left, your left, your left.

Your mamas are not here to take care of you now.

Ziskey.

416 397. That's Czechoslovakia.

0500. All right, we have three hours. Didn't you ever cram for a test before?

0600!

...a hotel room somewhere. Yeah.

...and you are my prisoner. Why are you doing this?

...for a cop. Oh, thanks a lot.

...you know, holding? No, man, I'm not.

A face bounce... John.

All right, we're in. Nice work, John.

All right. Hey, did you leave the radio on?

And 58 cents. ...and 58 cents!

And what do we got? What do we got?

And you know why? Why?

Anita. No.

Are you gonna get sick or something? Where the fuck's my truck? Where ?

Are you okay? Where are they?

Bus. A movie on this flight.

But we gonna get hung. Yeah, man.

Captain. Yes, sir?

Come on. I'll do it!

Come on. I'll take my chances with the feds.

Convicted? Yeah.

Did you remember to get my dress? Yeah.

Did you say that? No, sir.

Did you say that? Who said ? I said that.

Do you have your papers? Yes. Here.

Do you know Brandy? Hi, girls. Excuse me.

Do you think I'm officer material? God, I'm worried about you.

Excuse me, captain. I don't want to be disturbed.

Fall in! Yeah!

Forty first Armored? Yeah, Bravo Company.

Good night. Good night.

Good thinking, Ox. Real good. It is.

Good. That's fine. Let them. It's working.

Got him! All right! Oh, God!

Hello? Hello.

Here's a table. Excuse me. Sounds good.

Here's proof. His nose is cold. So is his brain.

Hey, man! Instant Finance.

Hi. Where are the others?

HoId it! They had proper ID, sir.

I brought the magic suitcase. You did?

I can't see a thing up ahead, sir. The turnoff is just up to the right.

I didn't mean it. How come yours is so long?

I don't think that was me. You're right. It was Normandy Beach.

I kind of thought it was a mistake. I got it.

I need 150! One sixty!

I really think you're gonna like this. Yeah?

I'll drive. Okay.

I'll get you up to cruising speed. Stop it!

I'm gonna fold. Okay.

I'm gonna fold. Okay.

I'm Major Dodge. Captain DeSoto.

I'm not enjoying this! Now quit it! You're not, huh?

I'm not going in. You could be a commander.

I'm pacing myself, sergeant. Move it!

I'm praying. You ought to.

In this bathtub? Your ears need cleaning.

Intelligence? Some.

It doesn't seem fair. Fair?

It's an urban assault vehicle. Of course.

It's right in front of the barracks. That's what I mean.

It's Winger! We're free!

John, I took a lot of these. How many?

John, is that you? Yeah.

Just keep your hands on the wheel! Not killed! Not killed!

Let's go. City center. Hey, let's go, man.

Let's go. Come on. Let's look at the general's cupboards.

Let's skip the bullshit, captain. Yes, sir.

More worthless money for you. Come on.

My gosh, my gosh. Come on, John.

Never. So much for the monastery.

No, I certainly haven't had that. First you get up on the grill.

No, I don't. Your problem is that you're armed.

No, I'm deserting. You idiot!

No, no, no. Oh, yeah.

No, no. Now, don't worry about a thing, okay?

No, sergeant. I didn't hear you!

No! Yeah, I do.

No. Never convicted.

No. Oh, yeah.

No. They'll probably teach me to levitate.

No. We'll split it.

No. We're responsible.

Not Marine pushups. No, simple pushups.

Not unless they torture me. Come on.

Official business. May I see your identification, sir?

Oh, but, sir, these men Don't "but" me, captain.

Oh, it's good in stew, yeah. Yeah, put about 30 in there.

Oh, let's. I think you're a punk.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. No, John, no.

Okay, down on your knees. Sounds good.

Okay, who's up for the Vatican? No, I can't.

Okay? It sounds easy.

Okay. Okay, let's go.

Okay. Let's look. Yeah, that's a much better plan.

Open this door, pIease! I'm gonna squash him!

Really? Yeah. Be careful, man.

Russell, what are you afraid of? I'm not afraid.

Russell! Russell!

Russell. Come on, it's Czechoslovakia.

Save your strength, sarge. Yeah.

See this arm band? MP. Yes, ma'am.

Should we? Yeah. Let's go.

Stop! Fall in! Hey, sergeant, it's raining.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Thank you. That helped.

Thanks again. Okay, all right.

Thanks for splitting it. No problem.

Thanks. No problem.

That was stupid. Yeah.

That's four. Four.

That's our unit. Oh, no.

That's the fact, Jack! That's the fact, Jack!

There's a gun in that tower, Russell. I see him.

There's the truck. Must be them. Get ready!

They came looking for us. Oh, they've had it.

They give you money. Who?

Think he bought it? No.

This is ridiculous. Right.

This looks like a main road. Oh, yeah, this is the interstate here.

Tired, challenged, trained and proud. This doesn't look bad.

Training, sir! Training, sir!

Two a.m. Okay, 0200.

Two fours, I got an ace. You got an ace, an eight and a seven.

Two when we got out of the jeep. Oh, no. Six hits.

Understand? Yes, sir.

Very clear. Get back to your barracks, all right?

We can do this, right? There's no way in hell we can do it.

We don't know where the shell's The only way to learn is to do it!

We ended up Shut up.

We gotta go get them. Yeah.

We'd have to, wouldn't we? Yeah.

We'll just look? Yeah.

We're going to be killed! Oh, no.

We're missing it. Let's go.

What a darling border guard. Is there a bathroom here?

What about this? How about this? That's better. Oh, so much better.

What are you gonna do with that? This. And this.

What coordinates, sir? Coordinates?

What did he say? He said the black guys...

What do you got? Well, I got a full house.

What do you think? I hope we don't go to war.

What time we get up? Five a.m.

What? That's the shortwave radio.

What's the plan? I'm working on it.

When's the good part, John? This is the good part.

Where you going, sarge? Hey, sarge, where are you going?

Where's your drill sergeant, men? Blown up, sir!

Who could grow more than me? Goodbye.

Who is it? It's Idi Amin.

Whoa, tough door! You got it locked on the inside?

With a Winnebago. Check, please.

Yeah, well, the brains have arrived. Yeah, that's good news.

Yeah. Here, let's switch.

Yeah. How was your day?

Yeah. Not that one.

Yes, sergeant. I didn't hear you.

Yes, sergeant. Now that's what I wanna hear.

Yes, sir? Colonel Glass to see you, sir.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

You got that? Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

You got the light one. Yeah, my mistake.

You hit me! I'm a girl! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hit you!

You just broke my force field. Yeah, you win.

You said you used to wrestle. I used to lose a lot.

You, go ahead. Me?

You're crazy about me, aren't you? No.

You're getting good. Starting to get the hang of it.

You're very competitive. I don't wanna go back.

... I don't care how smart you are or how dumb you are...

... I see if I can get my cab job back.

... I will personally recommend...

... I would have to make yours.

... I'll be right behind you guys every step of the way.

... I've lost my job, my apartment...

... I've never done this before.

...a backflip...

...a dismount...

...a one, two:

...about whether Captain Stillman wants to have us hung.

...about whether or not we've practiced.

...all the way back, a double backflip.

...along with a lot of pizzas.

...and a remount.

...and big toe...

...and carry on, I guess.

...and he expects you to perform particularly well.

...and he suggested taking one of these aggression training courses.

...and I'll have you assigned to a weather station above the Arctic Circle.

...and make a dugout canoe.

...and make me proud.

...and say what I say...

...and see that it's given to the proper authorities, G E R.

...and start worrying about how you're going to pass muster at graduation.

...and the instructions got all fouled up there.

...and then we'll call it a day.

...and then we'll go our separate ways.

...and then you play those stupid Tito Puente albums until 2 in the morning!

...and they're away on a trip.

...and totally unable to control his men.

...and watch him do 50 pushups?

...and we'll be seeing each other around the officers' club?

...and we're gonna have a locker box inspection.

...and you try and get as close to each other as possible...

...and your friends tried to make it with the cow.

...at coordinates 41 6 397.

...at the YMCA.

...because I would have a tough time pronouncing some of your last names.

...because I'm gonna teach every last one of you...

...before we see this whatever it is.

...but get off my back.

...but I want you guys to know that if we ever get into real heavy combat...

...but there are a couple of things I need to know first because...

...but this ain't no glamour detail we're on.

...but with some difficulty?

...but you're so cute.

...for $413...

...for the entire thing.

...from anyone in this platoon.

...get on these buses without getting lost.

...has gotta make the guy on the bottom's bed all the time.

...help the white guys.

...how to eat, sleep...

...is a real crack platoon of new recruits to man the EM 50.

...is gonna see how far he can stick it up your ass.

...is particularly interested in this project.

...is to be the great American fighting soldier...

...it usually means they're priming him for a major promotion.

...left this military post without permission.

...looking good and mentally alert at all times.

...my car and my girlfriend.

...of the entire armed forces. We will do this ourselves.

...or I got ways of finding out myself.

...or Sergeant Hulka with the big toe...

...repeat the entire course of basic training.

...Sergeant Hulka.

...so how about we tag along with you to your destination...

...ten hut!

...thanks a lot for keeping the Chinese off our backs. We appreciate it.

...that could link up with Air Recon.

...that is inside each one of us.

...that several members of the 3rd Platoon Bravo Company...

...that your whole platoon...

...that's more loyal, more lovable than the mutt.

...the rest of this platoon...

...then you come to bed with me.

...to admit it...

...to be that big toe for us.

...to make this the best damned outfit in the European command.

...to our newest, bestest buddy...

...touch me, and I'll kill you.

...walk, talk, shoot, shit like a United States soldier.

...we gotta get something straight.

...we'll probably get picked up in a day or two by a Liberian freighter.

...we've never been in a Winnebago."

...will do the next two weekends on KP.

...without a big toe.

...without actually touching.

...would help change your rotten attitude.

...you are a madman.

...you don't send your typists in the first wave.

...you just got yourself 24 hours of scrubbing garbage cans.

...you pretend there's a force field all around your body...

...you'll move fast.

...you're gonna find out that me and Uncle Sam are one and the same.

...you're gonna keep your mouth shut and do everything he tells you.

...you're gonna say, "How high?"

...you're not gonna make it.

"Hi, sarge." Just shut up.

"I saw something, but I'm not quite sure what it was."

"I've been listening to him for years. He's fabulous."

"Our newest soldiers with our latest weapon." That kind of thing.

"Sammy, get well soon."