Night of the Living Deb (2015) Edit

A broadcast, apparently originating from within the quarantine zone,

A cry of defiance

A gentleman, too! Ooh Ia Ia!

A lot has been said about videos going viral but, for Deb Clarington, it's like an outbreak.

A voice in the darkness, a knock at the door.

Aagh! Aagh!

Aah!

Aah! Fire escape! Fire escape!

Aah! No, no! Stop that.

Abraham Lincoln said, Ye shall not pass!

Ah, I actually already had my coffee, but...

Ah, yeah.

Ah!

Aim high, and I'm not talking about life goals.

All right, come on! End it for me, you piss ants!

All right, Joe...

All right, they're drawn to the noise. We'll have to leave quietly.

All right, we're a private security firm hired to handle this situation.

All right! Now, and...

All right.

All right.

All the roads will be blocked just like that one.

Although I'm not sure she was the girl your mother would have wanted you to marry,

Am I...

An appetite for human flesh, and both slow and fast walking.

An unauthorised sock puppet production of Jesus Christ Superstar.

And are there people eating other people's flesh?

And by insisted, I'm sure you mean he gave you a huge kickback.

And Deborah over there... How you doing there, hon?

And even though this person may not return my affections...

And get as far as I can from those gosh darn flesh eaters? Am I right?

And gives them an insatiable appetite for human flesh.

And got put in the hospital? She didn't walk right ever again.

And I don't know how to get rid of her.

And let go of my wrist, you're hurting me.

And maybe we can all hold hands and skip to Yum Yum Town,

And now you're bound to end up like one of us or die a horrible death.

And only seconds to saw the life out of it?

And so through the night went his cry of alarm.

And talking and drinking.

And that's it! You just lock the camera off on the anchor desk.

And that's Jerry Chavez, sports.

And then tap. Poof!

And then you can get to your mom in Virginia.

And though I deeply regret

And thousands left to wander,

And tolling within like a funeral bell.

And what exactly can we do for you, Fraggle?

And you will hear of the midnight ride of Paul Revere.

And you'd know that if you'd listened on the phone last night,

And you're going to stand watch with Topper.

And you're starting to look like you've lost a lot of blood.

And you've been treating me like I'm just a bag of wet diapers that you have to lug around.

And, just some food for thought,

And... I am really not fishing here...

Anybody? (HE CHUCKLES)

Anyway, it's the Fourth, so I'm gonna go spend some time with my family.

Apparently, he'd been doing it for months.

Are you being weirdly sarcastic or how do you know that?

Are you drinking his White Russian? I told you that was a girl's drink.

Are you going to come out with your hair dryer, is that what you're gonna do?

Are you kidding, me? I freakin' love Christmas.

Are you out of your mind?

Are you ready?

Are you talking about what those people back there have?

As a bizarre disease ran rampant through this normally peaceful

As night falls on Portland, Maine, more questions than answers.

As the chairman of the Zombie Outbreak Authentication Society

As you wish.

At least they're three floors down.

Awkward or...

Basset hound.

Bit by a zombie in a God awful sweater.

Board up the windows. Way ahead of you, chief. Pee corner's over there.

Breaking news... people are kind of foregoing their holiday plans right now.

But for this reporter, it's the headline of the decade...

But he... he insisted that we roll it out before the holidays,

But I bet they won't be zombies. Okay.

But I... I guess I could meet your family.

But I'm going to make it right for the two of you.

But I'm starting to get hungry.

But is this mantra much longer?

But it's the number of her viewers weighing in and creating their own online videos

But look around you, dude.

But now I'm starving.

But people need to know what's happening here.

But really I just...

But that's, uh... Let's get the food.

But then another story broke.

But we don't, we don't have that, so we just have to walk. So here we go.

But weren't you supposed to still be in beta on the process?

But you said the children.

But, Ryan, you take a shower, like, every ten minutes. Why didn't you turn?

But, you know, Ryan's just so good looking, you know? It's...

Buying half off Christmas ornaments. You know it and I know it.

Call me as soon as you drag yourself out of that fine man's bed, you complete whore.

Can we get, like, two seconds!

Can we please come in? We've had really a long day.

Cha cha cha!

Chaz, that one's coming pretty fast.

Chaz, will you just give your ears a rest, please?

CHAZ: Wait for it.

Check that out!

Clearly the more masculine of the two Waverly brothers.

Colonel Newton, I think you saw these three try to rush the border.

Come on, come on, come on!

Come on, you guys, get over here.

Come on, you guys. I'm just right here.

Come on, you numbskulls, you idiots!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on! What are you waiting for?

Come on.

Communists.

Control room's in here. Oh?

Cos I was gonna say it.

Cos that's what you're gonna be doing if I don't get some goddamn answers!

Could I see you in the kitchen for a moment? I need a little help with my brownies.

Crazy better.

Dad, you don't have to talk to me like I'm some kind of kid.

Dad! Dad, look...

Dad?

Dale! Chowder! Mad Dog!

Day after tomorrow, all these mouth breathers are gonna be in my store

Deb Clarington, News Channel Seven.

Deb, are you all...

Deb, Deb! Come on, come on, we've gotta get going.

Deb, do it now. Go.

Deb, encouraged by your example, I told a co worker that he is the love of my life.

Deb, I'm Chaz.

Deb, if you're still alive out there, I want you to know, you are so hot!

Deb, it's Rubes.

Deb, just give it up. They're going to search Otis eventually.

Deb, right? We are huge fans.

Deb, you would have had a better chance of getting out of here if you were infected.

DEB: A little help here, chief! RYAN: I'm working on it!

DEB: I always knew this town was dead, but this is ridiculous.

DEB: I'm Deb Clarington saying yes, I think these two are worth saving.

DEB: Sorry, I...

DEB: Stay alert.

DEB: Yay! So glad Stacy isn't dead.

Deb!

Deb! Deb! Deb!

Delicious!

Deluding myself that there might actually be a cure for this.

Did I hurt you in a past life or something?

Did you ever know that you're my hero...

Do we have anything deadlier than a bike chain?

Do what you gotta do.

Do you know, like, what the emissions from this car actually do to the environment?

Does it have to do with the ultraviolet treatment process that you're testing at Waverly Water?

Don't get me wrong, that company seems like pure evil but the buckage must be pretty good.

Don't worry about it! This is like swatting mosquitoes for little Otis.

Don't you ever touch a black man's radio!

Don't!

Dude, why are you eating a foot?

Earn this. Huh?

Enjoy your life, zombies.

Even as a zombie, his hair is camera perfect!

Even then, it's like a thousand to one. What are you, some kind of zombie phobe?

Excuse me?

Fifty Shades of He e ey!

Fine. Five minutes.

For all of his faults, I loved that boy like he was my own son.

For close range kills.

Forever?

FRANK: Ah, Longfellow. You know, he's from here. Maine. Portland.

FRANK: Easy does it there. Mmm! (HE LAUGHS)

FRANK: Was that girl ever okay? Now let me do the talking.

From which she's broadcasting, but as a camera person, not an anchor.

George Washington wrote the Declaration of Suffering in Silence

Get off me!

Get the lead out.

Go on! Go!

Go talk to him.

Go!

God bless... America!

God knows what they had to do to survive. Isn't that swell?

God, Chaz!

God!

Good afternoon. I'm Deb Clarington.

Good, God! Do you live in here?

Good! It hasn't spread across town.

Good. That's Stacy's car. I'm glad she knew to come here.

Goodbye, Frank.

Got him!

Governor, sir. Mr Governor...

Great! Okay. So we can leave. Now.

Great! Somebody's coming in the store and they look drunk and I feel like ass today.

Hang in there, Rubs.

Have gone unanswered, but we will not rest until we get to the bottom of this situation.

He almost looked like he was asleep.

He moved out after that.

He was always mean to me, but I'm going to do him proud.

He was changing out the propane tank. It was the best cookout ever.

He was exposing himself to their family dog.

He was in my neighbour's backyard...

He was lying there in the backyard,

He wasn't fixing the barbecue.

He's arranged a chopper evac at the county line at 0900 hours tomorrow.

Head back into Portland and stay alive till this blows over.

Hear me, undead!

Help me collect my people, then we can all leave town together,

Help! God, help me!

Hence, alone for the holiday!

Here, guys. I'm right here.

Here.

Here.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, don't go soft on me now, boy!

Hey, God bless you!

Hey, I've got some John Cougar Mellencamp. That always used to cheer you up.

Hey, man, that was an accident.

Hey, Stacy, did you meet Deb? She came here with Ryan, together.

Hey, that's Manny, from up the street. He really does have CP.

Hey, that's Misty Raines. Ah, they're still smiling.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! I'm just trying to stay strong for all of us.

Hi ooh!

Hi, Ryan.

Hi! Would you shut it off, please?

Hi.

Holidays are so peaceful, don't you think?

Homeboy didn't want to see me again after last night.

Homes were destroyed, countless family members lost

Honey, are you okay?

How are we gonna sneak out without her?

How could you be so boneheaded?

How did you guys figure out this virus so fast?

How did you know, dude? You're probably an uncle now.

How many of those have you had? You seem drunk.

How were we supposed to know it was going to be a banner year for the Ichabod virus?

How would you deal with the fact that you just ate your roommate's lower intestine?

Hurry up and kiss the girl.

I always help him with the brownies.

I always just use speed dial, all right? Everybody does that.

I am a father, all right? Look, look at these.

I am sorry that she got her brains eaten.

I believe that the woman in the video believes it's real.

I bet some of those workers will be more lively as zombies.

I can really see myself going to town on your liver.

I can tell bad effects work from a mile away.

I can't believe they're all gone.

I can't bring myself to end it for you.

I can't go over to that guy. He's like an angel that's come down from outer space.

I can't make my broadcast debut with a scrunchie in my hair.

I check in on Mrs Jones, get her groceries once in a while.

I could have helped you be a little more rugged.

I deserve the things I want. My needs are worthwhile.

I deserve the things I want. My needs are worthwhile.

I didn't mean to shoot him. Come on, we know each other!

I don't exactly remember what happened last night...

I don't have it. I got rid of cable a couple of months ago.

I don't have one. I ride my bicycle everywhere.

I don't know how long I have left.

I don't think documentation is going to be much of a problem.

I don't think it can create something from nothing.

I don't think so, Deb.

I don't think you've noticed, but the internet's shut down and cellphones.

I don't trust you!

I drove you here, in my car,

I expound more on this, of course, in my book The Five Signs Of Truth, which is available...

I feel so alive!

I got a large Casco Bay blend here.

I got the glove box. Dekker, you pop the hood.

I guess it would be one tap now?

I guess, in the light of day, I seemed like some sort of monster.

I happen to know zombies and that is not real. It's too tan.

I have an idea.

I have decided to keep the nutmeg in.

I have volumes of documentation. This whole thing was on your demand.

I just said Estelle because I wanted to get you out of the doghouse.

I just thought maybe you're right. Maybe they'll find a cure for this some day.

I just, uh...

I know! Low hanging fruit, right?

I like to take a second to centre myself every time I come here.

I lived.

I mean, a biter would have to have an open wound in his mouth literally gushing blood.

I mean, I would like to be a reporter. I'm trying to be a reporter.

I mean, if you want.

I mean, it's really cute to eat organic millet and drive around in a hovercraft or whatever,

I mean, that was a terrible, actually, cos she was my neighbour.

I mean, what's he got that I don't got? Besides your great eyes.

I might have been a little confusing there. You're free to go back.

I never would have talked to Ryan without you.

I patted her down myself. I did not find a camera.

I promised her I would get her out of town and I'm keeping that promise.

I raided the weather girl's locker.

I really wish we'd gotten to watch the fireworks together on your roof.

I remember every Fourth,

I say the wrong thing.

I still get the local stuff.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

I think it's in the break room, but it's too far unless we go through the studio.

I think we can be pretty sure that you like me.

I think you can forgo your sit ups tonight.

I think you had to use some extreme measures to stop them.

I think you'd make a great news anchor.

I thought I owed it to you to do this face to face.

I thought that you already had your coffee?

I told him I thought long and hard, but I had to turn him down.

I told the Governor that we needed more time,

I try to go, but I'm so busy with work at the TV station.

I want to be a personal life coach. So, yes.

I was really looking forward to putting some distance between me and this town.

I wish I could, Frank.

I... I can't go over there. What if he...

I... I'm sorry. This gentleman bought me a drink and we were having a conservation.

I'd rather take that risk than be without the people I care about.

I'd rather take that risk than be without the people I care about.

I'll always know, deep down, that he felt something too.

I'll do the rest.

I'll give you a workout.

I'll see you in a couple of hours.

I'm drunk. Deb, I haven't had dinner.

I'm going to sleep here on floor, all right? You take the bed.

I'm gone, son.

I'm gonna buy you some time. You go take care of her.

I'm gonna need your help with Ryan in the morning.

I'm in Virginia Beach, honey, not Florida.

I'm John Wayne, I don't need no breakfast.

I'm just saying that we should celebrate planting a tree with the children,

I'm just saying that when I care about someone, I commit their phone number to memory.

I'm just, uh...

I'm not gonna pull the fire alarm.

I'm not hurting anyone by being myself.

I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just going by the look of her hair and face and clothes.

I'm pretty sure my brownies must be cool enough by now.

I'm saying we want different things.

I'm serious.

I'm so dumb to think that I could be an on air anchor.

I'm sorry I tried to eat you.

I'm sorry, I must have missed that page in Ryan's Guide To Being

I'm sorry. I drink them, too. I just thought you were being amazingly intuitive.

I'm still stuck on this water thing.

I'm supposed to be proud of you that you wiped out the entire population of our town?

I'm sure she'll be going down for the count soon.

I'm surprised Chaz hasn't added creatine to his brownie yet.

I'm surprised she's even still on her feet!

I'm talking about sex.

I'm trying to get down there, but if I don't make it...

I've been thinking all day and I was worried

I've been thinking, I'm really sorry for what I said on the phone last night.

I've never told that story to anyone.

If anything, my look is burnished rugged.

If I say yes, will you let me go?

If it comes down to it, we'll use it to tap out.

If loved ones display these traits, isolate them in a secure area and wait for help.

If that cooz let out my cats, so help me!

If the outside world could see what was actually going on here,

If there's a bigger buzz kill than you, sir, I do not know what that looks like.

If we're going to be honest here,

If you meant children in general, you would've said something like...

If you want me to, I could, um...

If you weren't so deep in the Governor's good graces, we wouldn't be in this mess.

In search of the only thing that would quench their now insatiable appetites...

Indeed, for all we know, there are only two souls left uninfected in this once happy hamlet.

Instead of blathering on about your principles.

Is it worth sending people in to save a fledgling newscaster and her cameraman life coach?

Is real like a construct of our own subconscious or...

Is the video real in your own opinion?

Is this real?

Is this real?

It certainly would be easier to swallow the cover up story about a radiation leak.

It doesn't need to be weird. We can just say hello or wave...

It was an Independence Day for the ages,

It was just one hand stroking the other. Friends with benefits, as they say.

It was your idea first!

It would be a skeleton crew because of the holiday, but...

It's a mixed bag.

It's boring stuff, dear, a little bit too technical.

It's Chris Tucker, Rush Hour.

It's customary to say something like, No, no, no, don't beat yourself up.

It's just John Mellencamp now, Dad. I haven't listened to him on purpose in 20 years.

It's kinda scary, actually.

It's Longfellow. He's from here. Portland, Maine.

It's mostly for show, though, it only has two bullets.

It's not about being perfect. Clean energy is just the right thing to do.

It's okay.

It's rated the most environmentally unsound business in the state.

It's the right thing to do. Besides, you said you don't want to use them.

It's thick, it requires maintenance. You have no idea!

It's weird. I know that we've only known each other a short time, but I kind of feel...

It's... uh...

Jazzy Chazzy. That's my Pop. Be careful with him, okay?

Joe!

Joe!

Joe?

Just gotta stop in here.

Just kidding, it's actually me.

Just leave her in peace.

Keep it straight. Thanks, Pop!

Kev, come on, focus. Help me.

Kev, you're breaking up or something. Go back to...

Leah didn't play by the rules. Society crumbles without rules.

Leah Schiffer!

Let me put it this way...

Let me talk some sense into him.

Let the young ones go.

Let your soul be free!

Let's blow some shit up. Yeah?

Let's get real here. We both know in a few minutes I'll be trying to eat your brains.

Like I wish we could go in a time machine and go back five minutes, and then leave then.

Like my mom.

Like sandalwood and lilac!

Listen to me, that's the greatest newscast anyone's ever seen.

Listen to me. Not only is this an insanely perfect opportunity for you to live your dream,

Live human flesh.

Livelier than usual.

Look at Chaz back there.

Look at these little... Two little boys.

Look out!

Look, I'm sorry. My family is not a Hallmark card either.

Look, my fiancée, brother and father are out there. They'll be expecting me.

Look. Mister Pretty's off the phone. Come on, do it.

Loved ones. I gotta call Stacy.

Man, F this wannabe holiday!

MAN: Well, I think... I noticed that she had red hair and that's about it.

Maybe a crisis like we have here speeds things up a bit, but...

Maybe I should do that and you can do the announcement.

Mayberry?

McFly? Anybody home?

Meeting that...

Mm, tough break.

Mm!

Mm?

Mmmm!

Mmmm! Rrrgh!

Mom, listen to me. The people here are infected with something.

Mr Waverly? Hi.

My dad arranged a helicopter for us in the morning.

My dad arranged a helicopter for us in the morning.

My dad has more than enough motivation to keep quiet and I'm his son.

My dad is pissed because I won't work for the family business.

My dad would bring us all up to the roof to watch fireworks over the eastern prom.

My people are at your home and your office right now.

No more stopping. My dad's place is just a couple of miles up the road.

No, I can't force her out.

No, I could not be more sure about this. I do not want you to shoot me in the head.

No, I know. Um...

No, I was going to anyway.

No, I... You looked like a Deborah, so obviously I was wrong.

No, my name is Deborah. You were right!

No, no, I actually meant your family.

No, no, I hear it in your voice. Otis is offensive. Otis is unclean.

No, no, I was just thinking about when we need to fill up the gas again.

No, no, no. That's enough. We don't want to attract too much attention.

No, no! You can't just murder these zombies. These are people.

No, no. A lot of my best friends are zombies.

No, no. Why did you open her eyes?

No, not necessarily. This is yesterday's broadcast.

No, now she's here. She's still here. Yeah.

No, seriously, if I get infected, just let me run off into the woods or something.

No, wait! I... I... I'm...

No, your test was negative. You are free to go.

No!

No! I... Ssh! All right? I'm trying to think.

No! Like this?

No! No, no, no, no.

No! Ryan, it's the end of the line for me.

No.

No. For all we know, some chemist could be working on a cure right now.

No. Hey, look, we need to talk, all right? I think you were right to dump me.

No. Trust me. Okay? Nobody does it that way.

Nobody left to tell me what to think or what to say.

Nobody who is that says that!

Not any more.

Not everybody can pull that off.

Not satellite.

Nothing happened, we both just passed out.

Now how about this hilarious cat video?

Now listen up. You stay with that girl Deb, all right?

Now, come on.

Now, how sure are you?

Now, Ryan, come on, it's just a very complicated situation.

Now?

Nutmeg can be a bit much at times, but that's no reason to abandon it.

Off with his new girlfriend probably. I don't see him.

Oh, and he brought his wife's famous cupcakes.

Oh, boy! I think that I should conserve battery power.

Oh, busted!

Oh, check the glove box.

Oh, come on, relax now, babe. We've got some catching up to do! Hm hm!

Oh, fuck me!

Oh, God! I must look terrible, but... so soon.

Oh, God! Oh, I regret that.

Oh, good for you, sweetie. Why don't you just take it with our compliments, all right?

Oh, I can't stay mad at you!

Oh, I have no doubt they'll be unrelenting flesh eating monsters,

Oh, I thought they were just ordinary citizens who got a little wet.

Oh, I was just reciting some Longfellow. I think it's nice to say...

Oh, I'm sorry, Ryan! I haven't worked out the math on our murder suicide yet!

Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to distract you from being the weirdest person in the world!

Oh, I'm sorry! I was just trying to...

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, if you could just, uh, get rid of that road block, I'll be... on my way.

Oh, man!

Oh, my God, Ryan!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Is she...

Oh, my God! The water.

Oh, oh... Mom, are you really there?

Oh, Ryan! Oh, yeah!

Oh, shark, my mom! Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme!

Oh, thank you, Bill Nye.

Oh, that was awesome!

Oh, that's cool. I have some friends that did that and it sounded so liberating.

Oh, that's so sweet!

Oh, um... Hey, uh, look,

Oh, wow! You know, I thought that you were a cool guy back at the bar,

Oh, wrong way!

Oh, yeah, Ryan! Oh, my gosh!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah! Oh, Ryan!

Oh, yeah. Of course, a mistake!

Oh, yes! Oh, Ryan! Oh, yes!

Oh, you mean me? Duh! I'm the people you care about?

Oh, you're gonna bust on my car now?

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Brent Masters.

Oh! Don't you tell me you're falling in love with her?

Oh! I foolishly thought that you kept food in here.

Oh! She's old!

Oh! You know, at least they're not the sprinter type.

Oh! You're a big man now all of a sudden, huh?

Oh... Oh, yeah!

Okay, don't touch that.

Okay, everybody, drink up. I'm gonna turn in.

Okay, great! Um...

Okay, hey.

Okay, it's five, eight, zero, zero eight.

Okay, let's go find your peeps.

Okay, let's take stock of what we have and, uh...

Okay, okay, calm down.

Okay, okay. I wasn't looking on that one.

Okay, once we get in that car, I am not stopping till we get to VA.

Okay, some of them run!

Okay, well, anyway, um...

Okay, well, just... do what you gotta do, Mr Magoo.

Okay, well, that's was Gandalf, but I know where you're going.

Okay, well, uh...

Okay!

Okay! Okay, okay! Jump away!

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Make it snappy.

Okay. TV.

Okay. Well, jeez, it's been a hoot.

Okay. Well, uh...

On the bright side, no more lines at the DMV.

Ooh, taking control!

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh! A black coffee man. I like it.

Open the gate!

Organ donor!

Originally, I planned to debunk this vid using basic physics.

Otis? That's her car.

Our signal goes out to most of the outlying counties,

Ow! Gaa!

Phone, cable, internet, cell towers.

Please don't struggle, Mrs Jones!

Please, Deb.

Please! This was a sweet old lady, all right? Don't be weird.

Please.

Plus I've always wanted to slap the tan right off of Brent Masters' face.

Plus, you must be exhausted. We hardly slept last night.

Pop it.

Population or no population.

Portland may be a small town, but people are going to notice if we disappear.

Portland's water runs through him. Oh! Gross!

Probably.

Promoting a lot of people to wonder what exactly is going on there?

Radio! Do you have one?

Radio's busted. Tape player works, though.

Really?

Really? What's her name then?

Really? What's her name then?

Really? What's wrong with it?

Really? You are starting to look so delicious right now.

Remember how fortunate we are to be in the Governor's good graces.

Repeated calls to the Governor's office from this station and many others around the country

REPORTER: 911 emergency centres in several states report being flooded with calls

Rest in peace, Mrs Jones.

Right by the barbecue.

Right?

Rubes, you gotta tell me what happened last night,

Ruby, no!

RUBY: Happy holidays. You've reached Yule Mart.

Ruby?

Ryan, even if you're right, would they really want to come back?

Ryan, that was your dad. Please explain to me why you told him to take that job and shove it?

Ryan, we have to go, now.

Ryan, you need to call your dad right now. You can still get this job...

RYAN: How many miles does this boat get?

RYAN: It's up here on the right.

RYAN: No! No!

Ryan! Oh, my Rye bread, you're all right.

Ryan! The bastards have surrounded the house.

Ryan. Ryan, I should have been there more for you when you were growing up.

Ryan...

Ryan's back. Be realistic.

Sale on flesh over here!

See you.

Seriously, you'll probably win a Peabody or something.

Shadows are trailing.

She exhibits all five signs of a person who's speaking the truth.

She films everything.

She ride you like this? Like... Oh, yeah! Oh, Ryan, you're the best!

She told me all about your big breakup, stud.

She works for the news. We don't want her doing some story on the water supply.

She's been here since last night, for God's sake.

She's documented this whole disaster with this tiny little hidden camera.

She's good for you. She's got moxie.

She's got so much Botox in her face I don't know if she's ever going to decompose.

She's in a better place now.

Shoot 'em in the head. Let's move!

So he could squeeze it into the Q2 budget.

So helpful.

So I... I guess you guys have heard about the zombies in town?

So I'm Deb Clarington, saying yes,

So if you wouldn't mind taking the keys out and coming inside that tent,

So if you're watching out there, please tell the authorities to send help to Portland, Maine...

So sad!

So used to working the camera.

So we both agreed it best that I look for another job.

So we go up to the roof and that's when we saw him.

So you can say goodbye to these.

So you're just gonna... you're gonna wall us in with those things?

So, uh...

So, wait, excuse me, wait. What are you? Are you the rebound?

So, what's on the agend'? Brunch?

So, you know, if we run into each other around town,

So...

So... thanks for the mammaries.

Somebody's gonna find that footage one day.

Sometimes as far as Canada.

Sometimes... you gotta put your own oxygen mask on first.

Son, I liked Stacy.

Ssh!

Sssh!

Stacy and I had this fight,

Stacy, Deb is my guest. Please!

Stacy, how could you do that to me?

Stacy, I'm not working for my father's company.

STACY: Oh, yes! Oh, Ryan!

Stay here.

Stop it! Get off me!

Stop trying to bang Stacy.

Sure it happens every day, all over the world, but not to me.

Sure, sure, sure. Okay, okay. We'll see, though.

Sweet girl.

Symptoms of the ailment include slurred speech, wild movement,

Tap. Poof!

Thank you, Chaz.

Thank you, Chaz.

Thank you.

That end table was a matching set! And we don't need a pee corner, I've got a bathr...

That giant boozehound saved your privileged little ass numerous times when you were a boy.

That is a solid move. No, man!

That must be why it's harder for women to shoot g...

That one's coming fast, Chaz. Chaz?

That the pre filters weren't catching all of the bio pathogens yet.

That was a family heirloom, but, uh, you know what? Don't worry about it, please.

That was a mistake, man. Don't do it. Put your gun down.

That's a fate worse than death.

That's a ridiculous... That was so strange.

That's good. Nice one. That's actually the family joke. My brother makes it all the time.

That's mostly what I remember about the night that we hung out.

That's truly staggering.

That's what you do when someone dies, to let their soul rise up to heaven.

That's... brilliant and ambitious.

That's... It's BOOBS upside down.

The annual event drew famished foodies from Bangor to Brunswick

The brownies are a Fourth of July tradition that we started when Ryan's mother was alive.

The car!

The footage is in her car. Let's go! You, with me.

The Fourth of July? You hate the Fourth of July?

The government would have to do something.

The Governor has declared a state of emergency and alerted the National Guard.

The guy sounds awesome. What are you, adopted?

The hits on her zombie attack clip is impressive enough,

The little redhead's right. It's the Fourth of July, for God's sake.

The morning staff briefing. (SHE LAUGHS)

The only wild card here is her. She's a reporter.

The parade's really gone downhill this year.

The people would demand it. We'd have a chance.

The people you...

The rest of us are real.

The same thing that wiped out the indigenous Wabanaki Indians?

The towns overrun with zombies so they'll be bombing the hell out of Portland soon.

Then I thought about recreating part of it with some friends.

Then this person and I started drinking

There you are. What's going on?

There's gotta be some place around here that we can get food.

These are the crappiest snacks. Didn't this lady eat any solids?

These people aren't... what you said.

They had no part in this.

They helped each other get across town.

They just think I'm strange or...

They said to hunker down and wait for the National Guard or, you know, whatever.

They say they're in Maine? That's not even a real state.

They wouldn't understand the moral complexity of that situation.

They're four and six, Deb.

They're just ordinary citizens,

They're looking for case studies out there right now,

This is a sure thing. Just relax.

This is how I always see them do it. In five, four...

This is the real deal, man. It's not bogus.

This is your drink?

This man is a friend to us. He means us no...

This one easier to believe for most,

This was the deal. We got you here, now I'm going to get on to my own family.

This... thing.

Those would be the last words we ever said to each other.

Though not actually that helpful right now!

Three...

Three...

Through every Middlesex village and farm

Till they taste one of my freedom brownies!

Time to put on your big boy pants, son.

To go check it out for themselves, believe you me.

To support the fire department's annual pancake breakfast...

TOGETHER: Deb! Deb! Deb! Deb!

TOGETHER: Deb! Deb! Deb! Deb! Deb!

Tonight's top story, a bizarre twist regarding a reported radiation leak in Portland, Maine.

Topper, just keep walking the perimeter or no brownie for you.

Topper? You still have that giant boozehound on the payroll?

Trixie and Mayberry.

Trixie?

Trying to figure out how to stop this thing.

Turns out it was in the water or something.

Two days ago, I might have said no.

Uh huh. He looks drunk and ready to explain himself. Yeah. We'll get back to you. Okay.

Uh, have you been outside yet today?

Uh, okay, trust me on this one!

Uh, please.

Uh, Stacy...

Uh, you're gonna feel pretty silly when the internet's back up.

Uh!

Uh! I slept in, didn't I?

Uh...

Uh... sorry. (HE LAUGHS)

Um... maybe they were once.

Um... Well, look, I think we can agree that this was a mistake.

Unbelievable? Maybe.

Unless...

Until she was let go for staging

Until we get here, yeah! Obviously, we have to get out to collect them.

Use our bullets on her?

Virginia Beach. They have a lot of activities for seniors there.

W w what are you doing?

Wait, so you knew last night that people were gonna turn into zombies?

Wait!

Wait! I know Frank Waverly. The Governor is sending him a helicopter.

Wait! Slow down!

Wait.

Wait. Seriously, this is what you use to call people?

Wait. What are you doing?

Was you just cracking me up.

Waverly Water Treatment?

We always get together on the Fourth. It's my dad's favourite holiday.

We always get together on the Fourth. It's my dad's favourite holiday.

We got to keep our shit straight if we're gonna make it through this thing.

We have this all figured out!

We have to turn the signal back on.

We just have protocols we have to follow.

We lost. We tried to save the planet and this is where it got us.

We might want to start bonding in case we have to repopulate the world.

We need information. We need to figure out if it's affecting everyone.

We'll be open July 4th until noon and all day on the 5th.

We're gonna need some road snacks.

We're just messing with you. These things are hideous.

We're lucky we're even alive.

We've had a good run.

We've never going to get out of here, are we?

Well played, sir.

Well, Chaz was adopted. You knew that, right?

Well, here's to the long, straight piece in Tetris. Clink!

Well, I... What? I thought...

Well, I'm really happy for you, Ryan.

Well, I've never seen one before, but it seems, sort of, like a zombie apocalypse.

Well, it looks like she's full on zombie, let's jet.

Well, it was.

Well, of course, little Miss Magoo. Happy Fourth of July!

Well, prepare yourself. They may not be the people you remember.

Well, Ryan and Stacy will stay in Ryan's old room,

Well, that actually sounds less shitty than whatever we've got going on now.

Well, that's it. We're toast.

Well, the joke's on you then, cos it will be a small meal.

Well, this is bigger than you are, smart guy!

Well, why don't you try Stacy's phone number.

Well, yes, it was supposed to be a boon for the entire town.

Well, you did. At least, that's how history is going to show it.

Went viral on the internet just hours ago,

What a nice morning. It's...

What about you, Ryan Waverly? Are you living your dream?

What are you doing, Rain Man?

What are you doing? You should've left all that stuff!

What are you gonna do when the shit hits the fan? Huh, little brother?

What are you looking at? Oh, wow! (SHE LAUGHS)

What do you mean?

What do you think? Is this okay for camera?

What happened to yours, player? It's in the shop?

What if he slaps me?

What is going on with you? Are you still into this helping people thing?

What is real?

What is that? This is horrible!

What the ding dong?

What the fudge?

What the...

What?

What? Dad, I got, like, all these M80's.

What? Holy... Oh, man!

What? I'm glad you said it before I said it.

What? I'm not a reporter!

What? Is it totally unrealistic to think that I could be the special one for once?

What? No, no. You close their eyes.

What? No. Not according to public record.

What? We both agreed we're not going to leave this car again.

What? We both agreed we're not going to leave this car again.

What? What if? What if instead of writing the Declaration of Independence,

What? Why isn't it working? Deb, do something!

What? You... you know my name?

When all I wanna do is try on some lipstick and chase guys,

When he turns, who do you think's gonna have to put him down?

When I have kids, I'm gonna take them every year to cut down a real tree.

Where did you ever hear such a preposterous fabrication?

Where rainbows shoot out of the butts of unicorns.

Where the fuck are we?

Where's CNN?

Where's the DeLorean when you need one, right?

Which is why I think these plastic trees are for Tyre stores and...

Which you know because you were running the camera.

While many others are concerned for the safety of these two people.

Who happen to have contracted

Who knew?

Who wants a piece of this?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where's the fire?

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa! This is, like, straight out of Mitchell Black!

Whoa! This is, like, straight out of Mitchell Black!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoever you are.

Why are you hitting yourself?

Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?

Why are you talking like that? You're coming with us.

Why did I not get the memo?

Why do you have coconut water? Is this Maine or Gilligan's Island?

Why, self serving son of a... (YELLING)

Why, yes, I was just down at the Pick 'n Save.

Will you just give it a rest, all right? You're like the Terminator of sarcasm.

Will you look at that, huh? (HE LAUGHS)

With no pants.

With some calling to ask if the video's real,

Woman falls in love.

WOMAN: ...Area and wait for help. Repeat message 5 B.

Wooh hoo!

Wooh!

Wouldn't you like to get your hands on it right now?

Wow, that was actually nice.

Wow!

Yahtzee!

Yeah, and we're gonna get there. But my friend's inside. I have to see if she's okay.

Yeah, but how? All communications have been shut down.

Yeah, I dig it! But I've gotta do right by her.

Yeah, I guess we've never seen anyone turn before.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, it was in there when I bought the car. (SHE LAUGHS)

Yeah, like when Leah Schiffer discovered me at hide and seek

Yeah, so ask him to probe you. Miaow!

Yeah, that is really an archaic way of thinking.

Yeah, we heard about the zombies. (HE LAUGHS) That's why we're here.

Yeah, well, not for me. I'm not gonna work there, so my brother's gonna get it all.

Yeah, you sure did.

Yeah!

Yeah! I do.

Yeah! I do.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, Deb!

Yes, it does, Ryan! This is a package deal.

Yes, now is... now is...

You and I have to stay positive,

You can't ever leave that town on, kind of, a forever type basis.

You could outrun Misty Raines easily.

You did it! They'll have to investigate now, they'll just have to.

You distract her and lead her outside.

You don't have to kiss me.

You grab your bike and go!

You guys are acting worse than those things out there.

You guys are what, trading recipes now? And when did that start happening?

You guys are with family.

You guys aren't real military, are you?

You guys broke up, right?

You have a bite wound there. Just keep it clean and change that bandage daily.

You haven't taken a shower since yesterday and yet you still smell

You just shot yourself first.

You know my drink? Whoa!

You know those times when you can taste your own stomach acid? I have that right now.

You know what? We're getting out of here.

You know, I'm going to clean up.

You know, if we get infected.

You know, maybe it's not my place, but...

You mentioning Brent Masters back there.

You realise it takes ten years for one of those trees to grow

You saved a zombie, kid, you didn't undo apartheid.

You saved me, Ryan! You effing saved me!

You see that? You always go to the negative.

You talked about internal organs. I mean, it got really specific.

You tell me before you make any stupid decisions.

You told me last night that you work at the news station.

You two enjoy each other. Happy Independence Day.

You went to a coffeeshop?

You went to a coffeeshop?

You were right and I was wrong.

You would shoot me in the head?

You'll be no help to them if you get infected.

You'll feel differently when you get infected. I don't want you to suffer.

You'll love our frankincense and myrrh chandise! Get it?

You're a Waverly? Oh, my God!

You're gonna tell that to your two lamo kids?

You're like, Who's this powerful muckity muck trying to cramp my style,

You're not going to get away with this. They're...

You're right. Yeah.

You've had a gun this entire time?

Your pancreas is actually singular.

Your system is supposed to cut the cost of purifying our water by half, right?

Yule Mart? No, no, we agreed.

Zombies? Zombies! Guys, she said there's zombies!

...take care of yourself. Deb?

(ANSWER MACHINE BEEPS) Hi, I don't know if I should be your hero.

(BEEPING ON LINE) Hello?

(BLEEPING) Oh, man! What is it again?

(CAR ENGINE STARTS) What the...

(CHAZ SIGHS) I shouldn't let you do this one.

(CHAZ WHISTLES) Stay.

(GLASS SHATTERS, GROANING) Tap, tap.

(GLASS SHATTERS) Hey! You break it, you buy it, bucko!

(LAMP SHATTERS) Oh, great! Okay. Hey!

(MUSIC PLAYS) Oh, well, that's completely useless.

(RELIEVED LAUGH) Chaz.

(SCREAMING AND SNARLING) Help me!

(SHE SIGHS) I think I left my phone at the coffeshop.

(SHE SIGHS) I think I left my phone at the coffeshop.

(SHE SWOONS) Ooh! Hey, hey! Stay with me, stay with me!

(SHOTGUN CLICKS) Nobody's going anywhere!

(SHRIEKING) Sorry, Joe.

(SNARLING) (YELLING)

(SNARLING) (YELLING)

(SNARLING) Dad!

(SNARLING) I'm sorry, Mrs Jones.

(SNARLING) Joe!

(SNARLING) Oh, hey, man.

(SNARLING) Oh, my God!

(SNARLING) Shit! Aah!

(SNARLING) What is this...

(YELLING) Okay, let's... let's go.

A Completely Perfect Humanoid. No, no!

A lot's happened since you broke up with me. Are you gonna keep throwing that in my face?

Amen, Pop. And speaking of crumbling...

And I'm supposed to be on it. You know Frank Waverly?

And maybe you should, too, right? Oh, my God!

Are any of us real? Yeah.

Are there zombies there? Gotcha! You've reached my voicemail.

Are you good to go? Oh! Wait. What?

Awesome sauce! (THEY LAUGH)

Because we're through. Stacy, this doesn't have to mean...

Billy! Another Russian and a Bird over here. Coming up.

But how did you escape the troops? Well, like I said, biting doesn't turn you.

But I think I need to skedaddle down the road. No, Deb, wait!

Buy a girl a drink first, will you? I'm sorry about that business there.

Come on, walk with me. Hm!

Come on! Get off! (SNARLING)

Come on. When the moment is right,

Cut it out, please! Oh, yeah, Ryan! Oh, my God! Oh, yeah!

Did you change the gate code? Depends.

Didn't last night mean anything to you? Well, of course it did.

Do we tip her or... It was nothing.

Do you want it? Yes!

Does it matter at this point? It matters to me. Where's the first aid kit?

Don't do this, Dad. Do what?

Don't make me! (SHRIEKING)

Estelle. Deborah.

For the four of us, not five. I'm sure Deb can squeeze in.

Fortunate? Yes.

Give this to Topper. I got it, Pop.

God, you sound just like my dad. Really?

Good morning. Good morning!

Have a good one. Oh...

He's trapped! Through the night rode Paul Revere.

Hello? Mom!

Here comes the good part. There it is. Oh, wow!

Hey, Deb, how much you bench? Right now?

Hey, we can survive on this stuff! Oh, for an hour, if we were rabbits.

Hey. What's up?

Hi, I'm Deb. (GUNSHOT)

How did you put that together? Because I work in the news, remember?

How do I know you're not... one of them? Because I'm speaking in words.

How do you mean? His new friend isn't coming with us.

How would that have helped me? You know what?

Huh, little brother? Whoa!

I aim to please. RYAN: Okay!

I can't get up! I got him!

I can't... I can't do it. Yes, you can!

I didn't know zombies sounded like that. Yeah. You've heard them, right?

I do. Your hair has not moved this entire time!

I don't know if I know it. Oh?

I guess I never really... Listen, my children.

I knew it! No, no, that's not...

I know what you mean. I'm going to be just fine, chief.

I know. Hello, Frank.

I love you. Are you there?

I loved those cats. You'll see them again.

I mean, something happened. CHAZ: I'm sure it did!

I was gonna tell you tonight. I am your fiancée, all right?

I wasn't bitten. I know, Deb, I know.

I... Stop it!

I'm already bit, you dumb pansies! (CHAZ GROANS)

I'm fine. Okay!

I'm glad you made it. Oh!

I'm not gonna... Yeah, but that's your move. So?

I'm not hurting anyone by being myself. Uh, uh... I want to be supportive, an' all,

I'm not touching your... Whoa! What is happening?

I'm proud of you. Pop. Always!

I'm really sorry to do this to you. Forget the lamp, Martha Stewart!

I'm sure you are. Huh! (GUNSHOT)

If it means that much to you, of course. Yes.

If your mother... Stop it! I got him!

Is that your one exception? Look...

It's all going one direction and then... But that was a good memory.

It's very hydrating. (SHE SIGHS)

Kev, are you there? (PANICKED) Ryan!

Listen, Deb. Yes.

Longest walk of shame ever! No, no! That's not...

Look at all this crap. You don't like Christmas?

Look, Deb, I hope this isn't going to be... (HORN BLARES)

Ma? Can you hear me?

Mm, you said some things, too. I know I did.

My head is killing me. We are approaching.

No. He's... He's busy. He should be gettin' busy with you.

Now why would they rerun a news broadcast? That's what I don't understand.

Oh, God! He looks terrible. Oh, jeez!

Oh, God! He looks terrible. Oh, jeez!

Oh, I'm glad you see it that way. Mm hm.

Oh, is he coming? Uh huh.

Oh, is he coming? Uh huh.

Oh, Ryan! Oh, yes! Cut it out!

Oh, shut up, you little piss ant. Pop, I got it!

Oh, sorry. Deb...

Oh, this is all my fault. Ugh!

Oh, we had a little help. Dad!

Oh, yes, you're the best! Cut it out, please!

Oh? But either way, I have to go right now, so...

Oh... I've got a date with the Feds.

Okay, I... I... I'll carry you. Come on. Where?

Okay, listen, if you don't want to use it... No, no. It's fine.

Okay, there you go. Much obliged.

Okay, whatever you want. I'm staying put. But I need you!

Okay, yeah. The important thing is, we're safe.

Okay! Here goes nothing! Deb! Deb! Deb! Do it!

Okay. What if instead of freeing the slaves,

Okay. Yeah! Hello!

Okay. I'll be here. Hurry. Okay.

Once was enough. If only it was!

Ooh! (CRASHING)

Please leave a message. Jesus, Mom, I hate this gag.

Prop a squat here, One Direction. I have very classic masculine features, sir.

Put it down! Make me, you dumb ass!

RYAN: Stop it! Hey, hey!

She has? The point is,

Sincerely! I'm not infected.

So what are we gonna do? I don't know!

SOLDIER: Drop the weapon! FRANK: Come on, finish me!

Son of a bitch. He was adopted? Bottom line is...

Sorry. (SNARLING)

Sssh! (SNARLING)

Stacy, stop! Oh, yeah!

Stacy, stop! Stop! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

Stacy, you're acting insane! (CAR DOOR BANGS)

STACY: I'm so glad that you're safe, babe. RYAN: Yeah.

Stacy's here. She's not family. Stacy's inner circle.

Stay in your homes with the doors locked. This is it!

Still using that janky old phon... Dammit!

Stop! Hey! Oh, yeah!

Tap out? Yeah.

Ten points! (YELLING)

Thanks for the rap. Okay.

That's great. Sweet!

That's my boy! Yep.

That's not an option. If you leave her out, I go too.

That's the end of the story? Mm hm.

That's very interesting. Can I use yours?

The adorable little ginger girl? I'm sure he'll throw a hissy fit.

Then let's go. Okay.

They could be turned normal again. Sure!

They'll be looking for us especially. Hmm.

Those are my kids. They are adorable, right? Yeah.

Try the trunk. What? No! Not the trunk!

Turns out biting doesn't turn you. Yeah, we heard!

Uh! (GUNSHOT)

Uh... You don't know her number?

Um... Thank you.

Wait for it. Yeah.

Wait, I'm sorry, back? Yeah, back to where you came from.

Walk with me, Chaz. Come! Hm! (CHAZ SIGHS)

Was I some sort of jackhole or something? Why won't she leave?

We don't even know if they're in there. Trust me, they are.

We don't even know if they're in there. Trust me, they are.

We gotta stay focused, boy. A ha.

We're alive and we're under arrest. That's my boy!

We're all safe! (GUNSHOT)

Well, I was delirious, okay. You sure you don't want to now?

Well, if I can change one mind. Hey...

What about her? Gimme a break, Chaz!

What are you talking about? Frank?

What the bejeezus was that? That was Longfellow. Deb's favourite.

What the hell is going on here? Oh!

What's going on? Get on the roof! Trust me!

What's up, douche? (FRANK LAUGHS)

Where did you creep up from? Oh, I just... came with Rye bread.

Where is everyone though? I don't know.

Where's everybody sleeping? (FRANK LAUGHS)

White Russian and a whisky neat. Thanks, Billy.

Why are you taking off your shoes? Because it's filthy outside!

Why, right? You can't go back out there.

Why? We screwed the pooch, Frank.

Will you knock it off? You're Ryan's big brother?

Wobanaki Indians, Pop. Wobanaki Indians.

Woo! (FRANK LAUGHS)

Words to that effect. Don't beat yourself...

Wow, you really know what you're doing. Yeah, I have my moments.

Wow! Yeah.

Yeah, filthy! But you can't get it from a bite, so...

Yeah, I know where we live. I used to recite it for my mom every Fourth.

Yeah, keep our shit straight. Keep it straight.

Yeah, Ryan! I shop at Target! Cut it out. Ssh!

Yeah, you know. I mean, people, Earth. A huh.

Yeah! All right!

Yeah! You can't get that from biting.

Yeah. Forty?

Yeah. Okay.

You can't talk, Stacy, while I'm shooting. I didn't.

You don't like birthdays? After the bottle rocket smoke clears,

You don't want to see the bear face? No! No, I do not.

You have a car. Oh?

You hear me? Stay focused. Okay!

You know, the Governor... Is sending a helicopter, yeah?

You need the code, man. Okay.

You said you wanted to eat me. Yeah, that's embarrassing.

You're being ridiculous. No, you're being ridiculous!

You're not going anywhere. Governor.

You're so... different. Thanks. We think he's adopted.

...so good.

...what are you doing in this gin joint?

(BANGING)

(BEEPING ON LINE)

(BLEEPING)

(CHUCKLES) Go talk to him!

(DEB GROANS, RYAN COUGHS)

(DEB LAUGHS) I keep my ear to the ground for my job.

(DEB PANTS)

(DEB SCREAMS, SNARLING)

(ENGINE STARTS)

(FRANK GROANS)

(FRANK LAUGHS)

(FRANK LAUGHS)

(GROANING)

(GROANING)

(GROANING)

(GROANING)

(GUNSHOT)

(GUNSHOT)

(GUNSHOTS)

(HE FARTS) That's a no.

(HE GROANS) Help! God!

(HE LAUGHS)

(HE LAUGHS) I get it! I get it!

(HE SIGHS)

(HE SNORES)

(HE SNORES)

(MAN WHIMPERS)

(MOANING)

(MOANING)

(MOBILE BEEPS, DIALS NUMBER)

(MOBILE BLEEPS, DIALS NUMBER)

(MOBILE BLEEPS, DIALS NUMBER)

(MOBILE RINGS)

(MUSIC PLAYS)

(RINGING TONE)

(RIPPING NOISES)

(ROAR OF JET ENGINES, EXPLOSIONS)

(RYAN SIGHS)

(RYAN SIGHS) My dad...

(SCREAMING)

(SHE CHUCKLES)

(SHE CHUCKLES) Right, you say that now!

(SHE COUGHS) Gosh! That is...

(SHE HUMS CONDESCENDINGLY)

(SHE LAUGHS)

(SHE LAUGHS)

(SHE LAUGHS) Good shot.

(SHE LAUGHS) I've got a book and I'll just, uh...

(SHE LAUGHS) It's a good one.

(SHE LAUGHS) There's a load off!

(SHE PANTS) Okay.

(SHE PANTS) Ryan, what are you still doing here?

(SHE SCREAMS)

(SHE SCREAMS)

(SHE SIGHS)

(SHE SIGHS)

(SHE SIGHS) I must be the most selfish person in the world.

(SHE SIGHS) Listen.

(SHE SIGHS) Ryan, you need to stop being a martyr, okay?

(SHE TURNS MOBILE OFF)

(SHOTGUN CLICKS)

(SHRIEKING)

(SHRIEKING)

(SHRIEKING)

(SINGING)

(SNARLING AND BANGING ON DOOR)

(SNARLING AND FEEDING SOUNDS)

(SNARLING AND SCREAMING OUTSIDE)

(SNARLING AND SHRIEKING)

(SNARLING)

(SNARLING)

(SNARLING)

(SNARLING)

(SNARLING)

(SNARLING)

(SNARLING)

(SNARLING)

(SNARLING)

(SNARLING)

(SNARLING)

(SNORTING)

(STACY'S VOICE CONTINUES INDISTINCT BANGING)

(STACY'S VOICE, BANGING) Oh, yes! Oh, Ryan! Oh, yes!

(THEY LAUGH)

(THEY PANT)

(THEY SCREAM)

(VICIOUS SNARLING AND SHRIEKS)

(VICIOUS SNARLING)

(VICIOUS SNARLING)

(VICIOUS SNARLING)

(WOMAN SCREAMS)

(YELLING)

(YELLING)

(YELLING)

# ...Sheds His grace on thee... #

# Deck the halls with... #

# Jingle bells, jingle bells...

# Oh, what fun it is to ride... # (TUNE BEGINS TO DISTORT)