Super Troopers (2001) Edit

A couple of hyenas.

A good local officer like yourself.

A lady never tells. Wonder how Rabbit's doin'?

A monkey tattoo. Sounds kinda flimsy.

A number one top gun cadets

A trooper with an attitude

Actually, you know what?

Actually, you know what? I think it's better...

After all I'm through A trooper with an attitude

Ah, bilker! I'm an idiot.

Ah, what the fuck?

Ah, yes, those ballsy little punks who took your car door off...

All right, all right, all right.

All right, all right, all right.

All right, all right. Fighting's not gonna change anything.

All right, all right. Let's get started.

All right, all right. Relax!

All right, Arlo. Watch the ball. Get a hit.

All right, Arlo. Watch the ball. Get a hit.

All right, assholes, quit talkin' about me.

All right, come on out, Rabbit.

All right, fuck it.

All right, good cut, Ritchie. Good cut. Come on.

All right, hit it.

All right, how about "Cat Game"?

All right, I'm doin' a drop.

All right, it's probably time for you to get out of here.

All right, listen. Next time this kind of thing happens...

All right, Thorny. Pop it over to Channel Five.

All right, we're cool. We're cool.

All right, what do we know about this Galilkanolkus guy?

All right. Here's what I'll need.

All right. Who wants a mustache ride?

All right. You ready for the photo shoot? Okay, fellas, let's take it.

All this for a noise complaint?

Also heard something funny about how you got suspended.

Am I fucked up or is this fucked up, man?

Am I jumping around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?

Am I saying "meow"?

And find out what you can about Galilkanolkus and Bunty Soap.

And Grady's walking' around like he's hot soup.

And have to be a rookie again with a bunch of random dudes. Don't worry about it.

And he laughs in your face So you feel the disgrace

And he never told a lie.

And he says that for twenty bananas he'll provide evidence...

And I need to see some I.D.

And I'm Rod Farva Rod; car Ramrod.

And if we keep up these low numbers, you can bet your sweet butts...

And if you really want to choke somebody, you gotta hit the Adam's apple.

And issue tickets with raging, mega huge boners?

And just sittin' there were ten huge duffel bags of these mothers.

And light that award on fire in front of everyone.

And now, you come in here talking about...

And put a cap in that pig's ass.

And she's gonna be swinging through here on her way to Burlington.

And so, Captain, you think there might be some connection with the smugglers?

And some string.

And that dead woman in the Winnebago had the same logo tattooed on her back.

And that was the second time I got crabs.

And that's why I brought you... here tonight.

And then they flew us down to Jamaica to party with them; that one's true.

And then we're gonna have to zip on out of here.

And they always have my Old Fashioned just waiting there.

And those cannabis bags in our truck...

And we also used blanks.

And we're gonna buy you a tank.

And you better believe that Grady and his goons...

And you can't say, "Buy the Cleveland Cavaliers."

And you give them the investigation.

And you guys are drunk, and unarmed.

And you know who that was?

And, uh, we have identified the dead woman from that Winnebago...

Another highway cop? What, are you guys multiplying?

Apparently, she had a cartoon monkey tattooed on her back.

Are ya? What are you going to do with that ten million bucks?

Are you suggesting that a cartoon monkey is bringing drugs into our town?

Arlo!

Arlo! Rabbit! Let's go!

As a drug "queenpin" from Louisville, Kentucky Lucy Garfield.

As far as this brawling with the local police is concerned

Asshole.

Assholes.

Aw, fuck it. You deal with the hog.

Aw, Mac, you fucker!

Aw, she's gonna speak in about five minutes.

Baby, I'm gonna butter your bread.

Back in '74...

Back in the cage with your beautiful wife, huh?

Based on professional courtesy and mutual boredom.

Because I cannot afford another ticket with mein Porsche.

Because I know I wasn't speeding.

Beer!

Before using his equipment in the field?

Bobbi doesn't want to leave, and...

Boy, you guys just keep shooting yourselves in the foot.

Broke into the Winnebago and smashed the bed, all on a hunch?

Bullshit.

But aren't you guys the Highway Patrol?

But if I was a bettin' man, I'd put money on us changin' the governor's mind tonight.

But if we're right, you can be a hero.

But O'Hagan just will not cooperate with the evidence.

But the captain didn't say anything about going undercover.

But the car's stolen.

But then, I guess you'd miss out on all those wacky things you highway guys do.

But there's something funny in the air.

But wait! Hey, hey, hey! Are you guys kidding? Look at yourselves.

But we got to beat these guys to the punch.

But what literally, what I said was, "Yeah, sure, sir."

But you go ahead and get into a battle royale with the locals at a crime scene.

But you two are friends, you know? You shouldn't let this come between you.

But you used him.

But you were starting to think about it.

But, Thorn, if they do shut you down...

C Canada. We're goin' over the border to Canada...

Can I please see your license and registra

Can we make a deal?

Canada, huh? Almost made it.

Canadian grass. Ah!

Cap, you know I'm cool, but I can take no responsibility for these white devils'

Car Ramrod. You get it?

Check this out. Um, why don't you guys put that, um...

Chief! Chief Grady! I secured the perimeter, sir.

Christ! We look like a bunch of pussies.

Clear out of here. All of you.

Clear out of here. All of you.

Climb up on Uncle Rabbit's lap, Arlo, okay?

Come and get it.

Come and get it.

Come and get me, Mac.

Come on now. Shake hands.

Come on, Farva, man. Same team. Same team.

Come on, Mac, you know you're always sayin' how funny Foster smells.

Come on, Ramathorn, what game are we playin'?

Come on, Thorn. Come on, Thorn.

Come on, Thorny. You're losing to the rookie. It's embarrassing.

Come on! I'm looking for a little cooperation here.

Come on. Come on!

Come on. Team Ramrod!

Cool beans.

Cops.

Cut it out, you guys. Knock it off.

Cut it out! Do it.

Damn it, you burger punk!

Damn, that's good!

Definitely. Definitely better over there.

Desperation is a stinky cologne, John.

Did I miss that weigh station?

Did that bag you pulled off those college kids have that sticker?

Did that thing, you know, with the "who can say pussy the most."

Did you hear that, guys? Yes, sir.

Did you see him? Oh, he's disgusting.

Did you walk clean comin' through

Did, uh, I do something wrong, officers...

Do I look like a cat to you, boy?

Do I really smell?

Do it! You're a highway patrolman.

Do we look like the two dumbest guys in the world to you?

Do you even know how to drive this thing?

Do you get it?

Do you need me out there? Do you need my assistance?

Do you own, like, the sand and the water?

Do you think they're gonna tell us anything if they know we're cops?

Do you wanna do "Repeat"?

Do you want me to hold the spit?

Don't be a fuckin' slob

Don't forget to cup the balls. You're never gonna win...

Don't spit in that cop's burger.

Don't use that boyfriend voice with me, Foster!

Double baco cheeseburger. It's for a cop.

Easy, Rod. Easy, Rod. Easy, Rod. Easy, Rod.

Either you let us in on this investigation...

Enhance.

Enhance. Enhance.

Every Thursday night I walk into the Lodge to play Hearts...

Everybody outta the car! I said now!

Evil shenanigans.

Except for the one about how we pulled over AC/DC's bus...

Excuse me one second. No.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Uh, excuse me, guys.

Farva, get the coffee. Farva, hit the radio.

Farva!

Farva!

Farva! You are not stopping me from getting my job back!

Farva.

Farva's number one! Farva's number one!

Fellas, we got to get him back. He's gotta pay for this.

Feng Shui if it's, uh, over there.

Find a replacement

Fishin' your car out of Lake Leblanc right now.

Five ski masks, a case of smoke bombs the good ones

For "give me some fuckin' cola before I break both fuckin' lips."

For 20 bucks, I'll call the guy a chicken fucker.

For an emergency fund raiser. So

For no reason whatsoever, removed last night.

Foster, she played you good. It's called the honey pot. You should have known better.

Foster, you're on duty.

Foster? Wait. I don't know if this is gonna work.

Freeze, motherfucker!

From those guys over there.

Fuck it, all right. Gimme the goddamn radio.

Fuck it!

Fuck!

Fuckin' Galikanokus!

Fuckin' traitor!

Galilkanolkus is on that truck!

Get a job, man! Look, you're fuckin' super cop.

Get him, Mac!

Get off of me! Get off!

Get out of the car.

Get some rubber gloves. From now on, you're my cleaning lady.

Get the fuck out of here!

Get the reefer out of the Winnebago and give it to her during the party.

Get these damn handcuffs off now, Ramathorn!

Get this. You're Arcot Ramathorn Ram

Get your pink slip

Get your pink slip Get your pink slip

Get your pink slip Quit your downtown

Gimme a, uh, liter of cola.

Give me a gun, huh, to hold for the pictures.

Give me a, uh, pie. Apple.

God Mustard One Niner Decade China.

God Mustard One Niner Decade China.

God, did you see that?

God! We should have known.

Goddamn it, you dipshits! If I had my car, I'd have been in on this bust!

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it! How's the view from sugar heaven, bitch?

Goddamn it.

Goes to my skilled officers, who uncovered the marijuana in that Winnebago.

Good enough for me. You're my man, now.

Good morning.

Good one! I did not specify.

Good to know you're still battin' for us with the budget committee, Mayor.

Good.

Governor Fuckhead."

Grady! Get your ass out here!

Grady? Bruce?

Grady's not here. I'll take the file.

Greetings.

Guess that's it for the old locker.

Ha! Lucky guess. I just lost a buck...

Hail to thee dear old Paroon

Hand over your license and registration.

Has made yet another astonishing breakthrough...

Have got a copy of this list, so we need to step it up.

Have your fun, boys. Have your fun.

He can't pull over any farther!

He wasn't gonna make it. I tried.

He's a mean dog barkin' in the dust and the dark

He's got a lot of real good friends here.

He's this crazy bird on TV.

Hell, I can say "meow." I can say "moo."

Hello down there. Are you okay?

Hello in there. This is Officer Rod Farva.

Here we go.

Hey, Charlie's Angel.

Hey, Charlie's Angel.

Hey, Chief.

Hey, congratulations. You're the one millionth person to say that to me.

Hey, Farva!

Hey, good looking'. You catch any speeders today?

Hey, guys.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! All right, all right!

Hey, hey, hey, hey. You haven't opened it yet, have ya?

Hey, hey, whoa! Whoa!

Hey, honey, it's almost Mitternacht' huh?

Hey, how about one on me, Ramrod?

Hey, I came up with a great name for our car.

Hey, I'll touch you.

Hey, look out for these guys!

Hey, Mac! Did it work? Did it work?

Hey, Mac! You still have that Halloween costume?

Hey, man. Hey, bro. It's cool, man. They got fired!

Hey, Mike, um, while you're at it?

Hey, Rabbit.

Hey, stop jumping on the bed.

Hey, what's up, bone diddlies? Did I miss the song?

Hey! I hate to break up the honky convention, but we got a 10 92.

Hey! Urs! Ha!

Hey! You showed Grady our secret stash? That was our stash!

Hey.

Hi, douche bag.

Hi. I'm looking for Chief Grady. I have some files for him.

Hi. You guys forget what color your car is?

His butler tries to keep him in line, but, uh No.

Hold my snow cone.

Hold on! Come on, Thorn, I need this.

Holy shit!

Holy shit! It's a cool Winnebago.

Holy shit. This is This is This is Don't look. Don't look.

Hop on up.

Hope I don't get brain freeze.

How about a little pep?

How about that stupid guy for Rabbit?

How about we, uh, pop a couple of Viagra...

How are you shootin' today, Thorn?

How could you know to look underneath the bed?

How you think I'm doin'? Open bar, ain't it?

How'd the locals beat us here? We're, like, ten miles out.

I already told my mom about you.

I am about this far away from having a bigger budget.

I am all that is man.

I am drunk.

I am so used to driving on the Autobahn.

I am, and you owe me 20 laps around the bar. Let's go.

I bet you do

I can always use a good meter maid.

I can see there's something not right about that bed.

I can't calm down! You calm down! Oh, my God!

I can't pull over Sir, I'm already pulled over!

I could have sworn you said "meow."

I did not see that coming.

I don't believe it did.

I don't get it. How are we going to get into the local impound?

I don't know, get a different job?

I don't know. Doin' it? Positions and stuff?

I don't suppose you got a pair of fresh underwear I could borrow?

I don't think it's a healthy time for him to move.

I don't think that's such a good idea, Thorn.

I don't wanna get transferred.

I don't want a large Farva. I want a goddamn liter of cola!

I don't want to leave her and Arlo, so

I feel like a real cop again.

I feel like I just gotta get into that Winnebago.

I got a good feelin' about this.

I got a Q 17 request form today.

I got a theory, Cap.

I got a ticket to ride on that rocket

I got my own car, now. I get to bust criminals!

I got the latest shit list, gentlemen.

I guess I just go take a shower then, huh?

I guess you can say that about all my girls.

I hate to break up the "like fest," but it's prime time for crime time!

I have a flashlight in the cab.

I invented this gag, Rabbit.

I just got off the phone with Governor Jessman...

I just got off the phone with Tom McCardle from the budget committee.

I just must have dazed out and well

I know what they're doing. I've known for awhile.

I love acid

I mean, a murder on the highway...

I mean, if they had been chugging the catsup.

I mean, no offense, bro, but...

I realize that doesn't sound funny as I described

I really need to know about your side of the investigation.

I scratched your back, Bruce. I scratched it good and hard.

I swear to God I'll pistol whip the next guy that says, "shenanigans."

I think I might be able to talk to Grady for you.

I think I might have an idea.

I think I'm gonna drop a nut!

I told you I was in a very deep sleep.

I told you it was those kids with the wrenches.

I told you to be good. I told you this was a bad time.

I told you to bring the handcart.

I want you to stop, take a deep breath...

I was hittin' his ass so hard with that hose.

I was hittin' his ass so hard with that hose.

I will have the enchilada platter with two tacos and no guacamole.

I will have the enchilada platter with two tacos and no guacamole.

I'd like to get some field work.

I'd massage your feet every night until you fell asleep.

I'll be damned if I'll let Grady and those buttheads get their hands on it!

I'll be lucky to have a figure like that when I'm her age.

I'll believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet.

I'll believe that when me shit turns purple...

I'll do you one better, Captain.

I'll give you the fat guy for Foster and, uh...

I'll probably just get sent down to Brattleboro. It's a nice town.

I'll pull into the next one and get weighed, okay?

I'll talk to Grady and play a little hardball.

I'll talk to Grady, see if he'll let us take a look at the Winnebago.

I'll tell you what. I'll go down there and check it out.

I'll tell you when it's time to grow a moustache.

I'm all highway.

I'm freaking' out, man.

I'm goin' nuts being on the radio all the time.

I'm into that!

I'm not even gonna dignify myself with a response to that.

I'm not much of a cop, really. More like a civilian trapped in a cop's body.

I'm not sure you could fit into my panties.

I'm not sure you've got the required equipment.

I'm saying when my suspension's up, you better watch your ass.

I'm sorry about the delousing, Rod.

I'm sorry we didn't wait for you, but

I'm talkin' to you.

I'm thinkin' we need as much police as we can get.

If it happens, we'll, uh,

If you put it back over here.

If you'd like to have a conversation with someone, please go to Channel Five.

In a minute, all right? Are you listening?

In New York City, a guy could pay ten bucks to watch two cops have sex in a cage.

In our cruisers, somebody has to let you out of the back seat.

In the middle of the night

In the name of justice John Q. Public can trust us

Is that the same car, man?

Is the bear

Is there maybe something I can do for you, Or maybe my wife...

Is there maybe something you would like me to do to you?

It does? Oh, my God!

It must have been my sixth or even my seventh sense.

It stinks like sex in here.

It won't happen again, Bill. I'm onto it.

It's a fake name, fake license.

It's a good move, Cap.

It's called routine police work.

It's down to Flagstone, Deer Lick and us.

It's easy for you to say. He's got a tiny little head.

It's kind of important. How about Officer Rando?

It's not so bad. Good exercise.

It's not so funny meow, is it?

It's really funny, Cap. It's Afghanistanimation.

It's sort of a long story, all right?

It's this monkey that basically travels around the world...

It's what I gotta do!

Jesus!

John Chimpo.

Johnny Chimpo is the pimp in charge of the Cartoon Network whorehouse'

Just give me the file.

Just kidding, Officer... Farva.

Just print the damn thing!

Keep goin'.

Keep your bags packed, John. Let us handle the real police work, huh?

Keg's here!

Let him loose.

Let it roll.

Let me get this straight. You went into the impound, scaled the fence...

Let me guess.

Let's do this.

Let's do your jobs and keep this place open, huh? Let's do it. Farva!

Let's get him!

Let's go, 91.

Let's go, Mr. Galilkanolkus.

Let's go.

Let's play one of those games I keep hearin' about. You know, Mac and Foster...

Let's pull someone over.

Let's see what you've got, O'Hagan.

Let's see. You are an expendable line item on a state spending bill.

License and registration, please.

License and registration, please.

License and registration.

License and registration.

License and registration... chicken fucker! Brawwk!

Like Cagney and Lacey.

Like this?

Like, naked in a dream embarrassed?

Listen, listen. This is your big chance.

Listen, Rod.

Listen, we got the Miata. We're okay.

Listen, you seem like a really nice guy, but I just don't date cops.

Littering and smoking the reefer.

Littering and, uh

Littering and, uh Littering and, uh

Lock and load, Ramathorn. Let's kick some tail.

Look what I found! A two by four!

Look who's talkin', Denim Dan!

Look, all I'm sayin', man, is switch partners. It'll be fun.

Look, I don't want to go without you.

Look, kid, any other day, I'd step in here and show you how to swing.

Look, you know what? I don't have any I.D.

Lookin' good, Rabbit! Now don't move!

Loser!

Ma'am, I hate to do this to you, but would you

Ma'am, I need you to calm down.

Mac Attack! Wanna go punch for punch?

Mac o!

Mac, I'm serious. Be careful, Mac. He's angry.

Mac, now I'm gonna pay you. But I shouldn't, cause I knew it was you the whole time.

Mac, you and Foster check out the truck stops...

Make room, make room. What took you guys so long to get here?

Make your first move.

Maybe not to the untrained eye.

Maybe they're drug busters, but you're dispatch.

Maybe this is the key.

Maybe you could stick around here?

Maybe, uh, I don't know, we could do it again sometime.

Mayor Timber, yeah. So I just wanted to let you know...

Meet me at Route 9 and Okeechobee Road, and don't be late.

Meow, do you know how fast you were going?

Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one.

Meow, what is so damn funny?

Meow!

Mike, uh...

Minding my own business.

Monkey tattoos on some drunk lady's tit like it's a goddamn drug conspiracy.

Most of the local cops will probably already be at the banquet.

Mother of God.

Move it, Ramashit!

Move that gigantic cotton candy!

Mr. Galikanokus!

Mr. Galonulkum.

My hands are tied! It's all over the police band!

My Uncle Denny used to have one just like this.

Nah, we just parked it across the street.

Never shit a shitter. Lady in blue, comin' through.

Next batter! Batter up! Next batter! Let's go.

Nice try.

Nice wax job, Rook.

Nicht?

Ninety one, are you there? Ninety one?

No fuckin' way.

No offense, but the less you guys knew, the less you could screw up.

No shit, man!

No, a are you You're screwing him too.

No, Farva, you are under arrest for being a total and complete fuckhead!

No, I mean I do like Foster, but I

No, man, I'm just saying' I'm sayin' if if you own the beach property, right...

No, man, you don't own the beach.

No, No, embarrassed like back in '77, when you got caught fuckin' your cousin embarrassed.

No, no, no.

No, Thorny. I barely had a job before.

No, we don't know where he is, but

No! How could you even say that?

No! Not if you give her more.

No! They keep me on dispatch. I didn't know what to do when I found out about it.

No. I've been thinking a lot about what the captain said.

Nobody owns the water. God owns It's God's water.

Nobody wears that uniform in my station.

Nobody? Okay, no cream.

None taken, Ramathorn. None taken.

Nope.

Not a clue. It's totally hidden.

Now hand over that registration.

Now he's readin' your rights

Now I've spoken to the governor myself.

Now to teach you boys a lesson, Officer Rabbit and I are gonna stand here...

Now turn that off and step out of the car, sir.

Now you stop laughin' right meow.

Now you stop laughin' right meow.

Now you're spreadin' 'em wide

Now, did you know that Farva was the one who told Grady about our plans?

Now, I'm gonna have a bigger budget then, and I could really use...

Now, Rabbit, a good cop does what...

Now, Rodney, we're under a lot of pressure here.

Now, the thing is, Rod...

O'Hagan's making all kinds of threats, and

Officer, this is a major problem...

Oh, Big Bear

Oh, Christ.

Oh, did you see that? He kissed that guy!

Oh, Farva, you sad, lonely man.

Oh, fuck!

Oh, go, girlfriend. I'm your mother.

Oh, God! Please don't shoot me. I I'm naked.

Oh, goddamn, I remember these things being lighter!

Oh, hell, yeah. You don't throw out

Oh, hell! Give me the goddamn soap!

Oh, hey, I am sober as a bird.

Oh, how embarrassed?

Oh, I guess I'm the asshole.

Oh, look out for Thorny, master of psychology.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my my Dad ordered it. But he's asleep right now.

Oh, no shit, man!

Oh, no! I think he's going back again.

Oh, no! That's Rabbit's. That's Rabbit's.

Oh, Rabbit, he's killing you. I got Thorny in front by a lot.

Oh, shit! I got you good, you fucker!

Oh, shit. Look who's here.

Oh, shut up. You guys don't even know her.

Oh, St. Anky's.

Oh, thank the Lord. Thank the Lord. It's terrible.

Oh, that little guy? I wouldn't worry about that little guy.

Oh, the humanity! He's so bulgy. He's like a moose.

Oh, there's a disgusting pervert flashing people.

Oh, this isn't happening. I I I'm a police officer. Ursula, help!

Oh, wait, wait. Guys. Guys. You know what?

Oh, wait. He's got your name written on it.

Oh, we're working on it.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah? That's a lot of "Dimp."

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, you heard that, did ya? Let me tell you another funny story, New Jack.

Oh. Oh, local Smokeys on our turf.

Oh. Well, I hear you can get an operation for that.

Okay silly dilly dokey o. I'm an idiot.

Okay, Foster. You and Rabbit come around in a classic pincer move.

Okay, I get off work at 10:30.

Okay, okay. Somebody's gonna need to sign for this...

Okay, why don't you just sit in the middle, buddy?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Bye.

Okay. Okay, I did! I did, I did.

Okay. This is my last offer.

Okay. You better pay attention, Coach. Our son's up.

On 323, uh, Karuna Street.

One, two, three, do it!

Only you, Farva, can make a dark man blush.

Open bar, dude!

Open your throat, relax the jaw.

Or I'm gonna embarrass you personally.

Or maybe something you would like to do to me?

Or you'll light my ass on fire?

Or, as we like to call her down at the station, "The Louisville Smuggler."

Ours are nine by nine. No big deal.

Outta the car! Goddamn it!

Over there?

Perhaps some spanking or cuffing is in order.

Ping!

Ping! Ping!

Pull the vehicle over!

Put those away!

Quit your day job

Quit your day job Quit your day job

Quit your day job Tell 'em all to fuck off

Rabbit, get over there and cuff her.

Rabbit, get that gun out!

Rabbit, you couldn't have picked a worst time!

Rabbit, you're off the road! Shut up, Farva!

Rabbit, you're on radio. Farva, you're ridin' with Thorny.

Rabbit?

Rabbit. Hey, look at that. Johnny Chimpo.

Radio, we're in high speed pursuit of a white Miata heading' southbound on Route 294.

Ramathorn.

Reefer.

Regarding your unit."

Remember what we talked about. If anything happens...

Rodney! Rodney, get your ass back here!

Said you're pumpin' that line You'll never beat it this time

Same guys who make our flak jackets.

Same shit, different day, huh, Rabbit?

See if they got any chocolate bananas. Foster?

See, a lot of drug dealers use stickers to mark their products. Like a brand name.

See, that's what O'Hagan was talking about.

See, there you have it. You're doing it all wrong.

See! Where'd you learn that, Cheech? Drug school?

Seems more of a game warden thing to me.

She could sue me.

She is gonna shut your station down, son. It's gonna happen.

She stinks like ass, but I'll sure miss her.

She's gonna make a big speech about drugs and law enforcement...

She's late.

She's not my cousin

Shit, man. I was just about to pull out my nine...

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit! This rig sucks!

Shoot it!

Shut up, Farva.

Sing it again, rookie bitch.

Sir, no.

Smothered me in gravy, you big, dirty man.

Smy, Burton, check that out.

So after I jimmy the door, I do a quick recon.

So call off the party quick

So he tried to make it clear

So I'm walking' down by the local police station,

So much of my authority is derived from the power right here.

So So, hey, what's goin' on?

So these local mothers have got a hundred keys of chiba and don't know it?

So we think there might be some kind of connection.

So you originally from Vermont or, uh, or what?

So you're saying you'll set my Country Music Award on fire?

So, about my field time.

So, do you want to "Dimpisize" your meal for a quarter more?

So, Foster...

So, Grady thinks he's got you guys by the balls.

So, I'm gonna I'm gonna need 130 buck, you know...

So, if we can get ten minutes, you and I can get into the impound...

So, listen, I, um, had a really good time at that Winnebago fight.

So, um, Galilkanolkus is not the butler?

So, wait. The local cops are selling Afghani grass to the Canadians?

So, we got 150 kilos of marijuana and no arrests. We got nothin'.

So, what we have to do is distract whoever they leave there.

Some male figure? I'm his dad. And stop with the whole transfer thing.

Something about a school bus full of kids?

Sorry about that, bro.

Sorry about the light there.

Sorry ass local cops.

Sorry I missed the call. Looks like we got 'em. Rock 'n' roll!

Sorry, boys, you're on duty.

Sorry.

Spread it on!

Spurbury Police.

Standard procedure.

Starting right meow?

Strike three! You're out of there!

Sue me! Sue me!

Take a walk, buddy, take a walk.

Tap this thing!

Tell 'em all to fuck off Tell 'em all to fuck off

Tell that to the budget committee.

Ten deep breaths. I got it, Cap.

Th That's why I helped you find the reefer,

Thank you very much. The real credit...

Thanks for washing my car, Rook.

Thanks. You bet.

That girl's not yours. You don't own the girl.

That maybe you call uncle? Like Uncle Fred?

That the governor's gonna have to leave early.

That'd be a good slogan, wouldn't it?

That's fine police work.

That's it, you're off the road. Never again.

That's it!

That's right.

That's what happens when you start hanging out with a state trooper.

That's why I helped you guys steal the Winnebago...

The governor comes to town on Saturday for that big thing, right?

The great Charlie Rich was named Country Musician of the Year.

The local mothers are running protection for 'em.

The locals! I hate those fuckin' guys!

The mayor came down today.

The monkey has a butler? Great.

The next thing you know, they're trying to take you out.

The regis

The snozberries taste like snozberries.

The work's still comin' true

Then don't call me Unit 91, Radio.

Then I don't see how you can possibly help us, then.

Then in '75, he had to hand the award off to the new one.

Then why are we here?

There are gonna be cops there.

There are no male officers around?

There something' funny here, boy?

There will be no more running of marijuana...

There's Canadian markings on that plane.

There's no fuckin' way that is happenin'.

These, uh, bales of pot, they have that red Johnny Chimpo sticker on them.

They can't lump us in with that fuckin' Martian.

They get a little antsy in their pantsy.

They got me runnin' so many miles...

They want us to blow it.

They'll leave, like, one or two of the dumbest guys at the station.

Think I'm getting sent to Deer Lick.

This guy's got these big old powerful lips. Am I correct, Thorn?

This highway is closed Ramathorn. This is our jurisdiction.

This is Officer Rod Farva. Come in, Ursula.

This is our crime scene. We are talkin' it.

This is the Spurbury Police. Put your hands up and come outta there!

This shit is fuckin' crazy.

This whole murder thing, we've been tryin' real hard to break it open...

Thorn, can't they just stay a little longer?

Thorny, don't lie in front of the rookie. It sets a bad example.

Thorny, I'm talkin' a hard line.

Thorny, you're the ranking officer here.

Three.

Through Spurbury on my watch.

Throw him the heat. Bring it on.

Tijuana Gringo Oner Fiver Zero.

Time to stop now, Mac?

To myself.

To the driver.

Trust me, skipper, we'll make you proud.

Two cops sleeping together. What the hell do you think they talked about?

Two time Navy champion. Tag 'im and bag 'im!

Uh What?

Uh, 'cause you were doing 90 in a 65.

Uh, and then somebody said, I think it was O'Hagan, said, um...

Uh, anybody want a corn dog?

Uh, doing nasty things.

Uh, good. Good.

Uh, I don't have my figures here in front of me.

Uh, John, when you do get shut down, you come back, talk to me.

Uh, Officer, I know that

Uh, who knew it was a stick?

Uh, yeah!

Uh, you were laying your best rap on me and I was resisting.

Um...

Uncle Fred? Who's Uncle Fred?

Uncle Freddy, he's great. He's a crazy bird.

Unit 23. Come in, 23.

Unit 91, come in, 91. Unit 91, come in, 91.

Unit 91, that license plate belongs to a local Spurbury police vehicle.

Until they replace the door you,

Up against the car.

Ursula

Ursula, what the fuck? There's no T.P. in the bathroom.

Ursula! Oh, I'm sorry.

Using what? Super Citizen power?

Vermont plates Alpha...

Wa hoo hoo!

Wa hoo!

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you in on it?

Want me to "punchisize" your face for free?

Was there ever a moment when you suspected her?

We are the Spurbury police!

We don't want to leave. We really like this town.

We got 50 miles of highway. That stretch of highway is ours.

We got a hell raiser in a white Miata.

We got a little distracted by somebody doin' the "Repeater."

We got a murder one day, a drug bust the next.

We got a suspicious vehicle. White Caprice, Vermont plates.

We got it. All right, that's like twenty calls.

We got one.

We have to inventory our equipment.

We outflank 'em, and we do, like, a submarine move.

We really should be getting back to the jail.

We should've built a stinky igloo and climb in.

We show you the funny.

We weren't talkin' about you, you big idiot.

We'll all just stay here, open up a roller disco.

We're about to get shut down anyway.

We're gonna get the big, ugly ax.

We're gonna let her know just how this community feels about its law enforcement.

We're not gettin' shut down, Grady. We're drug busters.

We're sending someone down, don't worry. Okay.

Welcome to Dimpus Burger. May I take your order?

Welcome to Dimpus. Can I take your order?

Well Hey, Arlo, does Mom ever have any friends over?

Well, come on, baby, won't you take a little taste

Well, did you tell her anything?

Well, hello, Shirley.

Well, I don't want to mince words, John, but it doesn't look too good.

Well, I got a ticket to ride this rocket

Well, I guess they were gonna shut us down anyway.

Well, I mean, yeah. Not really. Kind of.

Well, I wouldn't get used to it, 'cause you know it's not gonna last.

Well, I'll be damaged if Mr. Rich didn't pull out his cigarette lighter...

Well, I've been thinking about this.

Well, possibly. But this is, uh, quite brilliant, really.

Well, the butler is basically saying to Johannes Chimpo...

Well, then, why you laughing, Mr. Larry Johnson?

Well, uh, mostly just soap, I think.

Well, we got about, uh, twenty desk lamps.

Well, where were we?

Well, you did it this time.

Well, you heard him. Let's go, Mr...

Well, you know, they are speeding.

Well, you might want to strap on your ass kissing boots and start right now.

Well, you're gonna have to be more specific.

Well, you're gonna have to.

What about those dopers you picked up? Do you need my assistance?

What an asshole. Got any I.D. on the corpse?

What are you doing out there, 91? Quit counting your pubes.

What are you gettin' out of this? Is Grady puttin' you on the road?

What are you pulling back there?

What are you sellin', Mac, hot dogs?

What are your cells, eight by eight?

What do you need? I'm the only one here?

What happened?

What if she breaks her foot on your property?

What if someone walks onto your beach, right? Let's say if you do own it.

What if there's a naked girl on the beach?

What is this thing again? Humane Society?

What the crap? How come nobody called me?

What the fuck is this?

What the hell are you doin' here, Farva? Put that pistol down!

What the hell is this? We got local pigs runnin' around?

What?

What? Do you think I just grew this weed?

What? I don't know. Two minutes?

What? Stolen?

What? Wh Why?

What'd you do? Brew it yourself?

What's the matter, your mama didn't teach you how to chug?

What's the name of that restaurant you like, with all the goofy shit on the walls...

What's the point? Didn't you guys get shut down already?

What's the significance of this John Chimpo fella?

What's this?

What's Thorny going to say, Rook?

What's up, dirty dogs?

When did you become a cop?

When we go up there, and we're wrong, no big deal.

When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Whenever you get a chance.

Where'd you get the Canadian tuxedo?

Which is locked in your impound, which is guarded by assholes.

Which makes them not shenanigans at all, really.

Which means our balls are this close to the band saw.

While you were sittin' in the damn thing.

Who can say "meow" the most?

Who gives a shit? I'm about to win ten million bucks anyway, right?

Who wants cream?

Who? Galilkanolkus? You know where he is?

Who? That creepy kid with the lisp?

Whoa!

Whoa! Looks like that truck's planning on skipping the weigh in.

Whoa! What's this jack off doin', trying to pull him over?

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoo aaah!

Whoo aaah!

Whoo hoo Yeah, hoo hoo

Whoo hoo! That's one stinky pyramid.

Whoo, sixteen ounces in my back pocket

Whoo!

Why are you wearing that uniform in my station?

Why couldn't they chug ketchup?

Why don't we take a look?

Why don't you guys split it?

Why use your head when you can be getting some cop on cop fucky sucky?

Will you just order a large, Farva?

Will you look at that?

Windows down! Put the windows down!

Work on exciting cases. Hey, we could even chase drug dealers together.

Would you mind stepping down from there with your license and registration?

Wow! What is this?

Wow.

Y You don't want to do this, Rod. We gotta go catch that truck.

Yeah, actually it was George Washington that never told a lie.

Yeah, Burger Boy!

Yeah, but our station got shut down, so

Yeah, Farva, I got a Porsche, brown, Washington plates

Yeah, I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do.

Yeah, I got it.

Yeah, I guess so. But I really like him now.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I will tell you.

Yeah, if they can figure which hole to stick it in.

Yeah, retired cop goes to work for his hippie girlfriend in her head shop. Too sitcom.

Yeah, retired cop goes to work for his hippie girlfriend in her head shop. Too sitcom.

Yeah, right!

Yeah, shit. This your keg?

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, those stories about us are mostly lies, really.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't know.

Yeah, well, you don't weigh in, you don't wrestle.

Yeah, yeah. I've been thinkin' a lot about that.

Yeah?

Yeah? Why don't you take your radio and go stand in a field.

Yeah. "Jane Doe." Do you know her?

Yeah. His shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

Yeah. How do you feel about long distance relationships?

Yeah. That's right, doofus. Move it along.

Yeah. Well, Cagney and Lacey were women.

Yeah. What the hell. We'll work together.

Yeah. What's this guy movin'?

Yeah. You wanna tell that to O'Hagan? Maybe we can borrow his car today.

Yeeeee hoooooo!

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. My mother's gonna kill me.

Yippee ki yay, motherfucker.

You are awesome.

You are freaking' out, man.

You are incredible. You are a fantastic cop.

You can always come work in my shop.

You can count on that.

You can slug me back if you want to.

You didn't do this because you like Foster?

You don't have these at your station?

You don't try to make a go It's all on video And they're sellin' the beer

You get the score of that Red Sox game last night?

You got it, boss.

You got it, Captain. Come on, meatball.

You got it.

You got troubles I'm sure A trooper with an attitude

You got troubles I'm sure A trooper with an attitude

You guys are goin' out, but you, um, sleep with other people?

You guys are real crazy.

You guys drive a hard bargain, but

You have a station full of crappy cops.

You just can't keep them under control.

You just humped the mayor's wife and burnt down City Hall.

You know how fast you were goin'?

You know this?

You know what? I gotta go. Let's talk about this later, okay?

You know, actually, Mac bet Foster he couldn't say "meow" ten times.

You know, if you were my wife...

You know, Rabbit, a good cop doesn't really know why he does anything.

You know, there was a time we'd take a guy like you out back and beat you with a hose.

You know, you might get ahead around here if you made the extra effort.

You know, you've got a lot of courage, walking' into the lion's den.

You look like the president, chairman and C.E.O. of Levi Strauss.

You must have eaten, like, a hundred bucks worth of pot...

You must remain true to the Taliban warlord."

You put in for a transfer yet?

You ratted us out to Grady.

You saw what they did to Galikanokus's girlfriend.

You should have just told us. We would have arrested them.

You should keep these dogs on a leash, John.

You should know this.

You son of a bitch!

You think you have a nice relationship with someone...

You wanna go? You smell pretty You wanna take one?

You wanna take this one, kid?

You want to know why I pulled you over?

You want to move that, buddy. Now!

You want to tell me what bug crawled up your big ass, Grady?

You weren't kidding'. That's a lot of hooch!

You, uh, wanna do "Repeat"?

You'll get your chance, Rook. Shots?

You're a sick motherfucker, Mac.

You're all under arrest for stealing a Spurbury police vehicle.

You're gonna feel a little pinch.

You're gonna have a hard time shutting us down now, right, Mr. Mayor?

You're not Mexican?

You're wishin' you weren't here

Your bust. You know there's a dead chick in there?

Your hands behind your back? Now things are getting kinky.

Your suspension continues. Hit the radio.

Yummy, yummy.

"Foster, you deserve a promotion." I think you get a star.

A local cop? Grady had an opening. Big deal.

A what? A liter of cola!

Ah, now some fun for both of us. Get back in the car!

All of these fuckers are goin' down! Yeah!

All right meow, where were we? Are you saying "meow"?

All right, all right. Where's the keg go? Put it in the rec room, man.

Amazing. Yeah.

and all of that because of your bust. She's gonna shut us down.

and banana peels, lots of banana Foster?

And grow a goddamn moustache, why don't ya? I haven't shaved in two weeks.

And pull your heads out of each other's asses, would ya? Language.

and smells like rainbow sherbet. Does it sound like that when I say it?

and the mozzarella sticks? You mean Shenanigans?

And you're banned from Dimpus Burger. Damn it!

And, hit! My ass in your face, Thorny.

and, like, 30 bucks worth of shrooms, man. Who's the man?

And, no, we're not doin' it. Ah, hell.

And, uh Littering and

Any older boys? Can't we turn the siren on?

Are you done? Yeah, okay, Radio.

Are you okay? Yeah, sure.

Are you ready for the fun part? Oh, yeah.

Assholes. No!

Awesome prank, Farva. Better than the crap you pull, Mac.

Awesome. Afternoon.

Aye, aye, Captain. I gotta call Ursula.

Back it up Grady! Fight, fight, fight!

Bear Bear fucker! Yeah! Yeah!

Because you crapped on my heart! I what on your heart?

Better lock this shit up, huh, buddy? What are you talkin' about?

Big Bear He's iron tough

Bruce? John O'Hagan. John!

Bullshit. I'm not goin' anywhere. All right, buddy.

Bunty Soap? Fake soap company.

Bunty Soap? Fake soap company.

But I could be Lacey.

But No "buts" meow. That's the law.

But No "buts" meow. That's the law.

but I think I should call Ursula. No way!

But I'd pull you over. Bullshit. You could never catch me.

But they started that fight. Of course they started the fight.

But, yeah, other than that, it's pretty boring out there.

Bye bye. Later, dude.

Cat Game? What's, uh, what's the record? Thorny did six...

Come in, Radio. Don't call me Radio, Unit 91.

Come in, Ursula! Who is this? Hello?

Come on back, now. Oh, yeah.

Cool uniforms. Yeah. All the beer you can drink.

Could I get in on that? Sure. Why not?

Could I go now? You could have your own car.

Cut it out, you turkeys! He fuckin' started it!

Damn it! Out of the car! Out of the car, scumbag!

Dead on all morning. How about that little fella?

Did you pick me because you could manipulate me?

Do you know why I pulled you over? We were driving way too fast.

Do you need assistance? Oh! Oh! Oh, yeah.

Do you want me to wipe your ass? That's not what I

Dude, can you eat it? The whole bag?

Eight Donna Peanut Eunuch. Roger. Checking.

Every time. Finish it up.

Excuse me. Good work. Good work, Officer. Hey.

Farva went schizoid. That's good.

Farva, you're leaning Wait a minute!

Farva's goin' down! Yes! Right!

For O'Hagan. For O'Hagan.

for some French fries and gravy, sir. Poutine.

Forgot the coffee. My bad, Cap.

Foster? Yeah?

Fuck, man. That That's not really cool, man.

Fuckin' shit! That was Galikanokus!

Funny, but nothin' there. Maybe you missed something.

Get it through your head, fish dick. She was in on it. Fuck you, Mac!

Get out of the car, man! This is a cop car!

Get over here. Tickle, tickle.

Give me a liter of cola! Uh, sorry, Officer Farva, I can't

Give me six Schlitzes. No Schlitz.

Glad to see you, Rodney. Hey, how are you doin', Rowdy?

Go on. Make mama proud. All right.

Good, now. Who wants a shot? I do.

Grady! I don't want to sound like a wienie...

Grady? Shit, what the fuck is this?

Grady's goin' down! Yeah!

Hail to thee! Hail to thee!

Hail to thee! Hey, all right!

Hang on, buddy. Hey, Cap!

Hanson, could you round up, uh, Johnny Chimpo...

He certainly is, ma'am. Oh, I think he's going to the window again.

He gonna spit in it now? No, I was just tellin' him that so he makes it good.

He's angry? Well, hello. Hey, mark it off.

He's crazy. He flies around like a pigeon. Oh, right.

He's not home! Hey, Chief o!

Heard you got to see Farva naked. Yeah, it was hard to miss.

Hello? Chase him! Chase him!

Hello. Uh, marijuana.

Hello. You boys like Mexico?

Help me out here, Rabbit. Foster, is that you?

Hey, Captain. Bulletproof cup, huh?

Hey, I saw that! Sit down, Rando.

Hey, listen, guy. He doesn't want it. I can handle this, Ramathorn.

Hey, what the fuck? Oh oh!

Hey, you gotta keep on your toes. Do something' about that, ref.

Hey! Don't touch the crime scene, rodent!

Hey. Hey.

Hi, John. Hi, darlin'.

Hi. Hey!

Hi. Hi. Sorry I'm late.

Honestly, Bobbi. I think it's gonna happen.

How about if I just help you get in? You would do that for me?

How are ya doin'? Hey, man. Hey, buddy.

How did the undercover thing go? Well, not so good.

How fast you were goin'? Uh, 65?

How you feelin' there Mac? Good enough to fuck your mother!

I am super. Plus, we can't take our car...

I can't make 'em speed. Try hiding'.

I did not show Grady the stash! Those bags of grass...

I do! Do you have any openings in Sherburne, Cap?

I don't envy her. Oh, I do.

I don't know what that is! Liter is French...

I don't know. Can I come see you? I love you.

I don't think so. Come on, mix it up a bit.

I don't want it! Right. Uh, beverage?

I don't want to get fired too. Oh, I'm not getting fired.

I get it. It's Rabbit's. Oh, look, a bar of soap.

I got a job now. You're a local cop.

I hate to ask, but, uh... for the team? I can't eat that!

I I I thought Don't think, boy.

I like that. Bite it. Bite

I love your I'm on the radio. Come in, Farva.

I need someone sober. You got it, Cap.

I said no! It's just 25 cents.

I think she's your only hope. Hello.

I told you. I don't touch highway hog. Baby, I'm SizzleLean.

I turned it off just after Ah, waiter. There you are.

I turned it off just after Ah, waiter. There you are.

I want one. I want one! I do! I do! I do!

I was afraid I'd lose my job. Oh.

I'd buy a ten million dollar car. Ah, good investment.

I'd like to play it straight this time, okay? Okay.

I'll have one. I said, who wants a shot?

I'm goin' for a drop. Just opening the window.

I'm gonna show you where the wild goose goes.

I'm growin' mine. Oh, you're growin' yours, are ya?

I'm I'm already pulled over, man! Pull over farther, man!

I'm sorry, Rodney. Come on, Rod.

I'm tryin' to apologize here. Sir, this is not a civilian channel.

If you did, I'd activate my car's wings, and fly away.

In our cells, the door is over here. Right.

Is that what they do in Arabia, Thorny? How the hell should I know?

Is the guy Oh, yeah. Yeah!

is this your usual meeting spot? No.

It is time to stop now, Mac. It is...

It was not my fault. Neither was the goddamn school bus.

It's gone. It's gone. We're cool. It's cool.

It's highway. It's our jurisdiction. No. No.

Ja. Hold on a second. Just one second, huh?

Ja. Ja.

John. I'm not interrupting, am I? Mayor Timber!

Let's do it. All right, Arlo.

Lick on it. Just lick it or something'. Be cool, be cool.

Listen, Foster Ursula! I'm naked!

Listen, Foster? You want to get these guys back?

Listen, Rod It's delicious.

Look at this chump. Oh, Mr. Tough Guy here.

Look, fellas... Bite it, Rook. Make him look like a dick.

Look, I know we don't like each other. I like you.

Ma'am, tell me your location. He's right in front of the building...

Mac, I need you to take No, no, no, Thorny. Me and you!

Make a big show of it. With all that media there, she would love us for it.

My arm! Mac!

Nice and easy. I like it.

No way she'll shut you down. That reefer's locked in the Winnebago...

No, no, no, no. We'll bring the guns. We're on it. We're on it.

No, Rabbit, it's comin' in from Canada.

No, why would I? Exactly.

No! Oh! You're talking about Shenanigans, right?

No! Throw it out the window! Okay! Okay! Okay!

No. Do you see me eatin' mice?

No. And if you were, I'd take you down a peg or two.

No. Come in, come in. Good work, gentlemen, all the way around.

No. No. Am I drinking' milk from a saucer?

Not for you guys. Oh, come on.

Now don't give me any lip. It's just a quarter, and look how much more you get.

Now you got your goddamn unions. Captain, you know I'm not a pro union guy.

Now, did you say, "Yes, sir"? I think he said, "Yeah, sure."

Now, don't get puke on it. Does it hurt?

Nuh uh. I'm back on the road, now. Until this little incident.

Nuh uh. I'm back on the road, now. Until this little incident.

Oh, God. You order the keg of St. Anky?

Oh, God. No! No, no, no!

Oh, Mac. What the fuck?

Oh, man. You'll finally get to shoot someone.

Oh, my God. I don't get it, man.

Oh, shit! He killed the cops!

Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Holy shit!

Oh! Oh! Oh, she's there?

Oh. I was trying to stop it without getting brought down.

Oh. What do I win? Um...

Okay. Heads up!

On your tab, Officer Womack? Rookie, pay the lady.

Pay her. Unit 23. Come in, 23.

Pink stick, eat it or lose it. Hey, shut your pie hole, buddy.

Please, Thorn, not now. No. He can join too, if you like?

Please, yes Fuckin' pig!

Pull down your pants. Shut up, Farva, you idiot. Come on, do it.

Qu'est ce que c'est ca? English!

Quit slappin' me. Would you stop touching my rookie, Grady?

Rabbit, I got a Plymouth Voyager... Say "Car Ramrod."

Rabbit, run. Gun. And, John...

Really? Yeah. Can you believe it?

Really? Okay. Yeah.

represented a a bond of trust between us. Foster

Roger. What the hell's that all about?

Roger. Checking. Thank you, Radio.

Say "Car Ramrod." Vermont plates Hold on.

See you later, sucker! Fuck!

She loves us. All right.

She said, "Okeechobee." She's okey dokey.

Shit! Baby, you rocked me.

Shit! Is there a problem, officers?

Shit. Hope they like foam.

Shut up, Farva. I can be there

Sixty three. Officer, isn't isn't the speed limit 65?

Smy? Yeah, Chief, I'll take a chinchilla.

So I busted it in. Bullshit.

So that's it, huh? C.C.S. Rockman Bulletproofing is the tops!

So you are okay then? Yes, sir.

Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Tilt it.

Sorry. You should be.

Sure. I was just Good morning.

Team Ramrod? Shut up, Farva.

Thank you, sir. You

Thanks, sweetie. Sounds like they're having fun.

That look like spit to you? Yeah.

That's a lot of pot. Thinkin' back to your tour days with the Dead, Rabbit?

That's my car. Grady!

That's my girl! Grady!

That's this address, ma'am. Oh, well, then, maybe you can see him.

Then you should stay here. But I can't if they transfer me.

There's a new billboard. Casino le Fantastique?

Think that's funny, do you? Yeah, I do.

This investigation is already under control. Well, now it is.

This is no problem? Put your hands on the car and spread 'em.

This is so good This is kind of awkward.

This steering wheel is jabbing my ass. Oh, right.

Those are 'shrooms, dude! Come on, man, just eat it!

Thought you said Bowl a rama. Yeah, I tried to call you, but, um

To the death of fun. Here's to you guys.

Truck stop, huh? We gotta do it.

Turns out, this guy can't drive a semi. Yeah.

Twenty three, that Porsche is hot. Are you sure?

Uh huh. Uh huh. I'm impressed.

Uh, do you have any more syrup? Sorry, Urs.

Uh, it's a drug bust. Cocaine?

Uh, sorry about that. All right, meow...

Uh, they test it? They test it. Exactly.

Uh, well, you know those really cheap Japanese cartoons?

Very funny, 91. Thank you, Radio.

Wait a minute What do you want me to do about it?

Was there any marijuana on that Winnebago? Nope.

Way to go, Cap. Give my regards to Bobby Baboon.

We got 'em, Cap. We got 'em, we got 'em!

We should have seen that comin'. We should have seen that comin'.

We should have taken him out the back and shot him.

We was freaking' out for nothing. Man, I almost had a heart attack.

We're all in the same boat. But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun.

We're in trouble, aren't we? Oh, yeah. You're in big trouble.

We're like the sons you never had. If you were my son, Mac...

Well, it's illegal, Burton. I know that! Whoo! Oh!

Well, thanks for the heads up. I'll go check on those guys.

What about me? Burton, somebody's got to stay here.

What about the piece stuck to your shoe? What about that piece?

What about you? I gotta stay with little "A."

What are ya, drunk? Drunk enough to kick your ass.

What are you? I'm a cop. What are you?

What do you do if you get transferred? I don't know.

What do you got? No guns. They got flares.

What the fuck? What the fuck to you too.

What the hell's he doin'? I got something'.

What you own is sand on the beach, man. Here. Here, man.

What, are you guys drunk? No!

What, plastic fake? Decorative fake? What? No, like they don't exist.

What? Farva said that car is stolen.

What? No games. Don't bullshit me.

What'd you say, man? Well, I said, "Yeah, sure"...

What's up? Guys.

Where you boys headed? Canada.

while you three smoke the whole bag. Please, no.

Why didn't you weigh in? Yeah, why didn't you weigh in?

Yeah! I know a way we can get 'em really good.

Yeah! Yeah! What does that look like to you?

Yeah. That's a lot of booze.

Yeah. I know. He's working for us now. So, I'm sorry.

Yeah. No problem. Excuse me one second. No.

Yeah. Thanks. Roger. Holding the spit.

You didn't say it. I wrote it on the paper. Oh, I forgot.

You don't want us turning into pumpkins. I don't want to go yet

You go, girl! Foster!

You guys are too slow. You killed my dummy.

You know how fast you were goin'? What?

You screwed us over. No, Thorny.

You smell something', Rabbit? Fear.

You sound like a fuckin' wienie. Gimme the radio.

You wanna take this one, Rod? Hell, yeah!

You're cool, man. I am cool.

You're goddamn right I am! You ratted us out!

You're okay, right? Sure.

You're up. Me?

Your local buddies are runnin' grass! Listen, I know.

Your registration? Hurry up meow. Oh.

...and of course, your own local police chief, Bruce Grady...

...Sean Cassidy.

'Cause here comes the fun part: Spurbury Police!

'Cause we're about to get on into outer space

'Cause we're about to get on into outer space

'Cause when the governor shows up, I'm gonna throw her a little party.

"And give your men my best.

"and your men for your brave, impressive...

"As you requested, we have reevaluated the financial situation...

"but most of all unorthodox tactics...

"Congratulations are due to you...

"Don't let the Great Satan tempt you with the Western culture.

"Due to our tight fiscal situation...

"going to have to close your station.

"Good luck in Sherburne, John.

"I cannot stress enough how proud we at the statehouse are of you.

"in thwarting the drug smuggling ring...

"Leederacola." Do we make leederacola?

"The great state of Vermont could use more officers like your men.

"we regret to inform you that we are still...

"You got beautiful, big brown lips."