A Hip Hop Christmas.
A Sleigh Ride In My '64...
Aaaaaaah...
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah! [ Crash ]
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aah! I can't feel my legs!
Aah! Oh, shit! I smell something burning!
About a week ago or so when I saw you up in the spot
About Hugh Kane.
About this friendship thing...
Actually, I was saying...
After the guns and the goggles.
After the guns and the goggles.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah. Ah.
Ah. Did you hear that?
Aha.
Ahh!
Ahh!
Ahh! Ah, those enchiladas.
Ahh.
Ain't that a bitch?
ALEX: Come on, baby. We can work this out.
ALEX: You don't really believe in that stuff, do you?
All I know is it's scaring me
All my fears
All my fears
All my fears
All my fears
All my fears arise
All my fears arise
All my fears arise
All my fears arise
All my fears arise
All my fears arise
All right, child, I think I'll take my leave.
All right, Dwight Hartman...
All right, Shorty.
All right!
All right.
All right. 180 me.
All right. I think that's almost...
All right. I'll go.
All right. I'll sing to you.
All right. Let's get out of here.
All right. Let's go.
All right. Now let's split up.
All right. OK. Mmm.
All right. Quick. Everybody to the laboratory.
All right. Step off then, sweet cheeks.
All right. You wait right here.
All the good times
All the jewels, murdering tools
All the way to the knee!
All you need is a little bit of flavor.
ALL: All right!
ALL: Shake your ass, watch yourself
ALL: Whoo!
Also, her tits are perfect.
Also, sometimes your eyes get kind of squinty...
And as the crowd is my witness, believe me
And bam! That just kicks it up a little bit.
And destroy the ghost.
And Father of our Lord Jesus Christ...
And for that... I am so thankful.
And get into the little...
And her skin isn't as oily as yours, either.
And her skin's not as oily as yours.
And how about All I want for Christmas...
And I fly high
And I found a picture of his wife.
And I found all these newspaper clippings...
And I got one of these.
And I got something to tell ya
And I look over, and Ray's in my bed holding me.
And I want to take full advantage of it.
And I'll give you Funyons and Cheetos.
And I'll help by giving you... [ Zip ]
And I've got to put my foot down...
And if shorty wanna pop, we popping the cris
And if shorty wanna rock, we rocking to dis
And it's got, over here...
And it's likely that it did attack...
And it's taking me a while to get over it,
And just let me do that for you?
And make them do a whole lot of dumb shit...
And many more!
And now he wants me.
And now, a lot of people like to baste their turkeys...
And running my bath water.
And say that we've got to pull the plug.
And shove them right up your ass...
And stand up for what I believe in...
And that we could all be in danger!
And that's old Master Kane.
And the fact she was exotic wasn't making it easy
And the pains of Hell got hold upon me.
And the Virgin Mary's baby daddy.
And then I like to get that right on there...
And then I'm gonna fart in your mouth.
And then let loose. [ Farting ]
And then we bring it to the table.
And then you'll be smoked by all the rappers...
And there's nights when I wake up screaming...
And they're so soft and warm.
And this?
And wear the shampoo for two weeks!
And who could forget Frosty the Dopeman?
And you look like you might have Down Syndrome.
And you're gonna die an old man...
And you're gonna go on...
And you're gonna have lots of little babies.
And yours look like them old orangutan titties.
Angel style!
ANNOUNCER: Lockdown Records presents...
Ante Up, Bitch, It's Christmas...
Any of them hot?
Anyway, I think she killed him...
Anyway...
Are my glasses crooked?
Are these all the subjects?
Are these cameras all throughout the house?
Are you having fun on your vacation?
Are you OK?
As I'm sure you are aware, Professor...
As many split ends as yours...
As our lives change
As Santa Claus Is Coming on Moms...
Attention all young players and pimps
Baby, I got to talk to you.
Bad, bad, bad girl!
Be boop, be boop on the nose.
Because we have no children.
Before it starts pumping, if you know what I mean.
Behind this operation is.
Better?
BIRD: God, that was a big one.
BIRD: Little? I'm not little.
Boo!
BOTH: Hallowed be Thy name.
BOTH: Ray fucked me.
BOTH? Our Father who Art in Heaven...
Brenda, do something!
BRENDA: Shorty!
BRENDA: Uh uh! Uh uh! Uh uh!
BRENDA: Yes, I do. Very much.
Buddy, can you feel this?
Buddy, I've never had anyone...
BUDDY: Aah!
BUDDY: Come on. You got to be quicker than that, A cup.
BUDDY: I got an idea!
BUDDY: Oh, dude! Someone's on the rag!
BUDDY: Oh, my God. She looks just like you.
BUDDY: You guys OK?
Buddy!
Buddy? Buddy?
Buddy...
But by the time I went in there...
But first I must bless this house.
But he cares for me in a different way...
But he seemed very eager and pleased to meet me.
But I just got out of a really bad relationship...
But I know who the real brains...
But I use this.
But I'll lick it anyway.
But it's big enough to get your hand...
But people don't seem to want to stay very long.
But that doesn't mean it was possessed.
But your guests have begun to arrive...
But, you know...
Call me!
Can't forget your toothbrush.
Caroline.
Check the fucking music room!
Cindy, get out of there! You'll get killed!
Cindy, let me...
Cindy, please! It's a matter of life and death.
CINDY, VOICE OVER? I can't take living with him any longer.
Cindy, what's going on?
CINDY: Hello?
CINDY: I don't know.
CINDY: I'm telling you, Professor...
CINDY: Look at this.
CINDY: Must have been hers.
CINDY: Oh, Brenda, you are so brave.
CINDY: Oh.
CINDY: Oh. Thanks.
CINDY: Ohh!
CINDY: Ow!
CINDY: Professor, is this the same house...
CINDY: Shh!
CINDY: So you think you made it into the class, Shorty?
CINDY: So, um, do you live here by yourself?
CINDY: Somebody help me! Brenda!
CINDY: These are delicious.
CINDY: This must be his wife.
CINDY: Yeah. It was traumatic.
Cindy?
Cindy.
City talk, Nelly listen, Nelly talk, city listen
Classic abandoned personality disorder.
CLOWN: Aah! Aah!
CLOWN: Hey, get your finger out of there.
Come back when you want some real loving.
Come get me!
Come here a minute. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Come here!
Come here.
Come in! Come in!
Come on boo, give me kiss, come on
Come on, Cin.
Come on, man. It was so awesome.
Come on, pussy. Let me out of here.
Come on!
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Because you a bad girl.
Come on. I think there's a first aid kit in the lab.
Come on. Right this way.
Come on. You're gonna give me a yeast infection.
Come on. You're gonna give me a yeast infection.
Come over here.
Come play.
Coming through.
Coming to this house was the best thing...
Conserve it. Use it wisely.
Copy! Do you copy me?
Cover me!
Cover me!
Cutting the experiment short.
Da, da, da, da, da da, da, da, da!
Damn, bitch, please die!
Damn, bitch, please die!
Damn. Why does the little bitch...
Deez Nuts Roasting On an Open Fire...
Did I fire 3 shots or 117?
Did I frighten you, child?
Did you hear something?
Do we have some walkie talkies?
Do you feel lucky, punk?
Do you know that she used to entertain...
Doesn't that just have a ring to it?
Dolly'll never go away
Dolly'll never go away
Dolly'll never go away again
Don't forget to kiss each other good night.
Don't fuck it up. Ohh.
Don't sit like this, first of all.
Don't you say your good byes.
Dude, relax, man. I'm telling you,
Dude, what's it say?
Dude, you suck!
Dwight, he's here. Do something.
DWIGHT: Ahh!
DWIGHT: I don't need your help.
DWIGHT: I think you should consider...
DWIGHT: I warmed it up for you.
DWIGHT: No. Listen. Listen.
DWIGHT: Oh!
DWIGHT: OK. All right.
DWIGHT: Ow.
DWIGHT: Throw the switch!
DWIGHT: We want to be safe.
DWIGHT: Yes, and as you can see, Professor...
Dwight. Dwight, relax.
Dwight's the only one who has the keys.
Each of you have been carefully selected...
Even the President of the United States.
Even though I want to fuck it
Everlasting God...
Everybody look what's going down
Everyone is so cool, and I'm... not.
Ew.
Ew.
Eww.
Except she got some perfect boobs...
Father!
Father!
Father...
Feel yourself, son, like that.
For paranormal investigation, which is why, of course...
For royalty and common folk and...
For which you receive an automatic grade of A...
Free paper. Ha ha! Shit, son.
Friends forever
Fuck it!
Fuck me! Fuck me!
Fuck off, four eyes.
Fuck this.
Fuck! Did you see this? Look at this!
Fucked me.
Fucked me.
Fucking tease.
Gentle stuff.
Get my Vaseline, a banana, and some duct tape.
Get the hell out of there, guys!
Get up there! Come on!
Getting loud
GIRL'S VOICE: Come play with me.
Give it to me! Give it to me!
Give me a fucking rope. I'll hang myself.
Give me your best shot!
Go right now, you're scaring me
God is in his holy temple
God.
God.
Goddamn it!
Going on in this house.
Gonna need that for later.
Good luck.
Got to bring that shit over here?
Gotcha!
Guys, I think the Professor's up to something.
Ha ha!
Ha ha! Mmm... baby?
Ha ha! Oh, there's old Mother Kane...
Ha ha.
Ha ha. Oh!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha! My germs! Ha, ha, ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha! Gotcha! Psych!
Ha! Shit!
HANSON: Ahh.
HANSON: All right. Well, uh...
HANSON: Come on.
HANSON: Excuse me, Professor...
HANSON: Make room.
HANSON: Mmm. That smells good.
HANSON: OK!
HANSON: OK. Ooh!
HANSON: Thank you, my child.
HANSON: That's nice.
HANSON: That's what I like to hear.
HANSON: Uh!
HANSON: What the fuck?
Hanson...
HARRIS: Everlasting God...
HARRIS: Father!
HARRIS: Would you like to see the girl?
Have a nice trip.
Have we met?
He almost got us. Buddy's hurt.
He was a really evil man.
He was here just a minute ago.
He was the master's favorite pet.
He's becoming a monster.
He's been in the family for generations.
He's gonna kill us!
He's no trouble at all.
Hee hee! Like what, Ray?
Heee!
Hell, no, you for real?
Hell, yeah.
Hello, birdie. Polly want a cracker?
Hello, Cindy.
Hello, Dwight.
Hello, Professor.
Hello!
Hello! Hello. Can you hear me?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Heloo... Cindy.
Help me to release this demon.
Help!
Help!
Help! My pussy's gone crazy!
Here are the keys to the gate.
Here comes the pie.
Here I go. I'm hanging myself.
Here we are.
Here we go. I think the taters are just about done.
Here you go, Father. All clean.
Here. Take my hand.
Hey there, little guy. How you doing?
Hey, buddy! Hey, pay the fare.
Hey, Buddy.
Hey, Cindy, think fast!
Hey, do you guys know this one?
Hey, girl, I got an idea.
Hey, girl, that jacket is slamming.
Hey, girl, that jacket is slamming.
Hey, guys.
Hey, I don't need your help, OK, lady?
Hey, Kane, you hungry?
Hey, listen. Will you come check something out with me?
Hey, look out. A bee.
Hey, look!
Hey, must be the money
Hey, must be the money
Hey, must be the money
Hey, must be the money
Hey, these buns look good.
Hey, wait, wait, wait! Whoa!
Hey, what are you doing?
Hey, what's up, dog? Have a seat, peep
Hey, y'all. What's going on?
Hey, you can kiss my grits.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey, man.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Conserve your ammunition.
Hey.
Hi yah!
Hi, guys.
Hi, little fella.
Hi, little guy. Look at you.
Hi, Theo.
Hiney... hiney ho...
His mom was a fat bitch
His wife, Caroline.
Hmm?
Hmm. Maybe some new gear.
Hold it.
Hold on, Shorty!
Holy Lord, Almighty Father in...
Holy Lord, Almighty Father...
Holy Lord...
Honey in the club, me in the Benz
Honeys look, no, they wish
Horse tranquilizers? You drugged him!
How about a leg?
How about a little snack of this?
How about I take these two legs...
How about two? Ha ha!
How about you give me a standing ovation?
How are we gonna destroy what we can't see?
How come every time some scary shit happens...
How do we stay in touch with each other?
How is she?
HUEY: Aaargh!
HUEY: Because you gave me crabs.
HUEY: Get away from me!
HUEY: Ha ha!
HUEY: It was just a booty call!
HUEY: Ooh!
Huey? Baby!
Huey... baby...
Hugh Kane, it's me you want!
Huh?
Huh?
Huh? Come on!
Huh? I see you eyeing the first piece.
I am a girl.
I beg your pardon?
I believe he's sleeping with our baby sitter Victoria.
I believe he's sleeping with our baby sitter Victoria.
I better use my strong hand.
I broke my fall.
I came as fast as I could, but at my age...
I can do it myself.
I can do it myself.
I can take care of it.
I can... myself... do it.
I can't feel my body, I'm so cold.
I can't. She's still on the platform.
I cook it with all the giblets...
I couldn't quite figure him out...
I did not. That's all his stuff.
I didn't do it by myself!
I didn't mean to go poopie in your litter box.
I do find, though, if I tickle my asshole...
I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
I don't know what it's doing out here.
I don't know what the hell that is...
I don't know what to say, Ray.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't think we're gonna be getting much help here.
I don't... I don't know.
I feel like such a geek sometimes, though.
I found...
I gave them special consideration.
I got it!
I got these psychic powers on line.
I guess it was gone.
I guess since you're a girl it's all right.
I had, like, a keg myself.
I have a history of not listening to me
I hear noises, where I'm a go?
I hear voices, what I'm a do?
I hear you're the only one...
I heard Dwight tell the Professor...
I just know that everything's gonna be OK.
I know what you're thinking.
I learned something very important in college...
I lick like that...
I love you!
I made them by hand.
I mean, if we just stick together...
I mean, there's Ray...
I said, Polly wants your mama's sweet ass.
I say when we pull the plug.
I squeeze really tight, and then I let loose.
I squeeze really tight...
I suspect he was having an affair.
I swear. Sometimes I think...
I take it you're not mad at me anymore.
I think I know why you're mad, Mr. Cat.
I think I'll be the bigger man now and walk away.
I thought I told y'all ******s before
I told myself not to touch it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I want to be able to act out our innermost fantasies.
I want to help you, Cindy.
I want to help you.
I want to talk to Roger.
I want to tell you about this thing...
I want you to know what happened, Cindy.
I wanted to borrow those keys?
I was minding my own business and she teased me, yeah
I was talking to this chicken
I was thinking the exact same thing.
I was thinking the same thing!
I was thinking...
I wish you were freshened up, too.
I woke up naked in a tub of ice.
I wouldn't go that far, Professor.
I... I can't feel my legs.
I'd be more than happy to walk you through it.
I'll be right back.
I'll be right down.
I'll be sure that she gets it.
I'll fuck you up.
I'll get her!
I'll get the keys.
I'll just run upstairs and jump into my jogging suit.
I'll make sure you get tucked in.
I'll put you in the full nelson and lick them.
I'll see you all this evening.
I'm asking you...
I'm Cindy.
I'm cold.
I'm Dreaming of a White Woman...
I'm Father Harris.
I'm Father McFeely.
I'm getting high as a motherfucker!
I'm getting out of here.
I'm gonna break his legs.
I'm gonna fuck that little cripple up!
I'm gonna handle this shit like a gentleman.
I'm gonna make this mine.
I'm gonna miss you, girl!
I'm gonna piss on your face...
I'm gonna pull that off...
I'm gonna rob that bitch tonight.
I'm gonna work this.
I'm here with Professor Oldman's group.
I'm hung like a bull, lady. Check it out.
I'm just gonna give them one quick whisk here.
I'm just saying that if indeed this cat did attack...
I'm long gone
I'm not afraid anymore!
I'm not crazy!
I'm Professor Oldman.
I'm so glad you're here.
I'm sorry, Buddy.
I'm sorry, Mr. Skeleton. Here.
I'm sorry! I didn't mean to smoke your relatives!
I'm the one he wants.
I'm tossing my own salad!
I'm working.
I've always wanted to walk on the moon.
I've been doing my bun busters every day.
I've been thinking about this whole friendship thing.
I've come back for you.
I've never had a friend...
I've served you well. Don't you do this to me.
I've taken care of everything...
If I had known, I would have freshened up!
If I throw the switch, she'll die.
If you had just shut the fuck up!
If you want to go and get high with me
If you want to go and take a ride wit me
In that newspaper article...
In the name of love.
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy...
In which we'll study your various sleep disorders.
Including medical supplies and blood storage.
Is if we're all wearing one of these.
Is it a monster? Is it a monster?
Is that all you ever do?
Is that all you got?
Is the Charges Dropped...
Is this a poltergeist or a heist?
It happened right here.
It looks like you got Down Syndrome or something.
It must be why he keeps her around...
It really was...
It said that Hugh Kane was killed in the furnace.
It takes more than a little bag of bones to scare me.
It was hypnotic and so erotic
It was hypnotic and so erotic
It was hypnotic and so erotic
It was hypnotic and so erotic
It was hypnotic, and she was so erotic
It was hypnotic, and she was so erotic
It was hypnotic, and she was so erotic
It was hypnotic, she was so erotic
It was much too soon
It was much too soon
It was possessed.
It would have just been you...
It's a picture that he sent after the interview.
It's coming!
It's freezing.
It's gotten worse, Father.
It's Hanson. He's possessed.
It's less likely to come back if the two of you were...
It's my pleasure, but what a nice young man to offer.
It's OK, I guess.
It's the best seat in the house.
It's time for us to get out of here.
It's your time to shine.
Just before I unleash the dog of war...
Just mutilate her white ass and leave.
Just the tiniest little stinkhole...
Just trying to be nice.
Keep rubbing. Ohh.
Known to man.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la...
Last night, I found a secret room...
Let me give you a hand.
Let me give you a little pinch there.
Let me have your computer if you die.
Let us pray.
Let you go like a dozen balloons
Let's get him.
Let's split up. I'll meet you on the other end.
Like cha cha
Listen, you go help Buddy in the lab.
Lock the door.
Look at him. He hasn't aged a day.
Look at the thin cheek bones and the same lips.
Look at your hair.
Look at... Oh, what you got here?
Look down in pity upon this, your servant.
Look, I know you're proud. Just let me help you up...
Look, you got the panties...
Look. He crazy now.
Look. I don't even need my thermal goggles.
Look. Look what the cripple's doing.
Look. You help me by giving me the keys...
Looks like the furnace room.
Make your best move, ass bite.
MAN: Oh!
MAN: Ow!
MAN: What the...
MAN: Who put the horse out?
May I ask you is there something on the menu...
Maybe you two should sleep together.
McFeely: Defender of the human race...
McFeely: Soon...
Me! Me.
MEGAN IN DISTORTED VOICE: You failed, McFeely.
MEGAN: Aah!
Might have everyone else fooled...
Mm hmm.
Mm hmm. It is happening.
Mm hmm. That's what turns me on about you.
Mm hmm...
Mm mmm. Pass that down to her.
Mmm, good.
Mmm.
Mmm. It's all yours. Oh, yeah.
Mmm. Ohh.
Mmm... mmm.
Mom Dukes kicked me out, but you know something?
Morphine? Chloroform?
Move out of the way!
Move! Come on! Hurry up!
Must be a secret study or something.
My bad.
My germs.
My germs.
My love? Are you there?
My soul from death.
Never! I'll never let go!
Night night, baby.
No one can hurt us, my love.
No one leaves till then.