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Kindergarten Cop (1990) "Kindergarten Cop" is a beloved American comedy film released in 1990. Directed by Ivan Reitman,

Kindergarten Cop (1990)

"Kindergarten Cop" is a beloved American comedy film released in 1990. Directed by Ivan Reitman, known for his work on "Ghostbusters," this film stars the legendary Arnold Schwarzenegger as Detective John Kimble. The story follows Kimble as he goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher to apprehend a dangerous criminal's ex-wife and son. Through hilarious and heartwarming moments, Kimble navigates the challenges of teaching while dealing with his own tough-guy persona. "Kindergarten Cop" is a delightful blend of action, comedy, and a touch of romance. If you're a fan of this classic movie, you can play and download its iconic sounds here for a nostalgic trip down memory lane.

A dead man!
A goddamn obstacle.
A kindergarten teacher of 25 years' experience,
A long time.
A lot of flu going around, right?
A male kindergarten teacher isn't what I'm used to.
A male kindergarten teacher. That's unusual.
A new nation...
A thermometer?
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah! Help!
About last night...
About something else that's really important.
Actually, it's quite a large serving.
After the lineup, I'll drive you home. I'll even buy you dinner.
Ah, good.
Ah.
Ahh!
Ahh! Smell that fresh air.
All I have to do is tell my parents that you're with the police,
All right, let's get back into school.
All right, move it in. Let's go.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right. Just hold on.
All right. Take your milk.
All that hard earned drug money she stole from you?
All the other grades, your times were an improvement,
All you have to do is point your finger, and we can put him away for 30 years.
And a large bowl of the clam chowder.
And come right back.
And Crisp spends his life making license plates.
And dedicated to the proposition...
And don't you think I won't if I feel my children are in any danger.
And for the people...
And Frankie, my swimming teacher,
And Gus, my T ball coach, are better than you, too.
And he helps people that are hurt or lost their feelings, and, um, that's it.
And he made me my favorite. Pasta a olio.
And he... His head is so big that he can't wear any hats.
And he's proven to be a wonderful asset.
And he's, um, the boss of his company,
And hope that he considers staying on a permanent basis.
And I can't get these things off.
And I have no hobbies.
And I'll tell the judge what a nice, cooperative killer you are.
And I've just been worried about Sylvester.
And leave his toys behind.
And on that farm he had a duck
And she's a lot better than you, too.
And something I cooked myself.
And suddenly, there she was across the street, taking her kid into this school.
And that government...
And the money?
And then I coached basketball at an all girls school in Rhode Island, but
And then people use that money,
And there goes our goddamn case.
And they give the same amount of money back to my dad.
And they'll yank their kids out of this school so fast, we'd have to close.
And this is Dominic.
And those kids know you're scared.
And to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God,
And we won't get a thousand.
And what has it gotten you, hmm?
And writes. I taught him myself.
And you turned out to be a cop.
And you'll still be eating take out food in that dump you live in.
And your mommy says he's a deadbeat.
And, um, he has a mustache and a beard.
Anyway...
Are these all your lunches?
Are they the tiny ones without meat?
Are trying to get away from something, or they're hiding something.
Are you a single parent, Mr. Green?
Are you married, Mr. Kimble?
Are you okay?
Are you serious? You really know where he is?
Are you sure?
Are you there?
Aren't you going to break it up?
As a matter of fact, he had two mothers.
Astoria Elementary School.
At the school where I saw them...
Bad people?
Bailiff, remove the prisoner.
Because by the time they came to me, I felt there wasn't much I could do with them.
Before we have to pretend we're married.
Bon voyage.
Boom! Boom!
Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina.
Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina.
Breakfast, sir? Ma'am?
Bright and early.
Bring it back to the carpet.
But I'll have to do it at night.
But I'll keep an eye on him, okay?
But I'm sure there won't be any more occurrences.
But it worked.
But it's tough on Sylvester, don't you think?
But this is my case, and I work alone.
But we're pretty much out of the race cars, unless...
But what about your wife?
But what you can't do,
But you got to believe me.
But you're a very good teacher.
Can I help you?
Can I pet him?
Can we talk business?
Can you take over for me, please?
Can't do it.
Can't trust you or anybody.
Captain of the girls' softball team.
Caring, courtesy and courage.
Check out of here. This stuff will kill you.
Cheerleader, first violin in the school orchestra,
Cindy O.D.'d last night.
Class starts at 9:00 in the morning.
Class, excuse me.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Come on out.
Come on. Come on!
Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Come on. Go, go.
Come on. One, two, three, four.
Come on. Quiet.
Come on. Sit down.
Come on. Stop whining.
Come right back to the carpet.
Come to me. I want to start.
Compared to what?
Conceived in liberty...
Congratulations, Dominic.
Courage.
Crisp, you're under arrest.
Cullen Jr., aged 3 months.
Cullen said I stole his money so these creeps would follow us for a reward.
Daddy.
Daddy.
Danny,
Danny!
Danny! No!
Danny.
Daryl. Daryl.
Days, nights, weekends, holidays.
Did he ever say what name she was using in Oregon?
Did he say anything before he left?
Did I... I'm sorry.
Did Lincoln have four mothers?
Did she see you?
Did they die?
Did you see Cullen Jr.?
Did you tell anyone else this?
Did your daddy teach you this game?
Didn't join the union until...
Difficult man. Got to get to know him.
Divorced. I know.
Do you have a minute? I'd like to speak with you.
Do you mind if I sit down?
Do you want to see something else?
Does he take care of you?
Does Sylvester ever see his father?
Doesn't hurt to take precautions.
Dominic doesn't even remember him.
Dominic has been a great help. He's a good kid.
Dominic is king of the mountain!
Dominic, don't forget Ferret. Yes. It's a fire drill. Come on.
Dominic, I had to do it!
Dominic, I'm your father.
Dominic, stay close to me, okay?
Dominic!
Dominic!
Dominic!
Dominic! Where's Dominic?
Dominic?
Dominic.
Don't get separated.
Don't let him get to you.
Don't shoot.
Don't touch him!
Don't turn your back on it.
Don't worry.
Don't worry. Everything is under control.
Don't you die on me!
Don't you have anything better to do?
Don't you have anything better to say?
Don't you remember?
Don't. Don't.
Drop it! I'm losing it! Hurry!
Drop it. On the floor.
Drop the gun! Drop the gun!
E I E I O
E I E I O
Each one of you get one toy.
Emma, take your toy to the carpet.
Emma.
Everybody sit down on the carpet!
Everyone dies, you know.
Everyone together! Come on.
Everything is always great, terrific.
Everything is under control.
Everything together. Come on.
Everything's going to be fine.
Everything's going to be okay, Dominic.
Excuse me!
Excuse me.
Excuse me. I'm John Kimble, Zach's teacher.
Face front.
Fast. Just the way we practiced it.
Faster, faster. Come on. Yes. Come back. Terrific. This is working. Wait.
First day?
First, I would like to just get to know you.
Follow me, silly.
Four scores and seven years ago.
Four weeks into the new semester,
Fourscore and seven years ago...
Freeze!
Get it?
Get some rest, and don't worry.
Get those tree stumps out of my way before I vomit all over them.
Get up!
Get your kid something even better.
Give me the flowers.
Go away.
Go for a little walk. Your teacher and I have to talk.
Go quickly. Get your toy.
Go!
Go. Go for it.
Going to start a whole new family.
Good boy.
Good morning, everyone.
Good morning, Miss Schlowski.
Good morning, Mr. Kimble.
Good morning, Mr. Kimble.
Good morning, Mr. Kimble.
Good morning, Phoebe.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good news.
Good.
Good.
Good. And rest.
Good. Good. That's smart.
Good. Okay, next one. Come on.
Good. Quickly. Bring the toy back to the carpet.
Good. Ready?
Good. Then bring it back to the carpet, pronto.
Good. Very good.
Good. Yeah.
Gotcha!
Great day, huh?
Great, Dominic. You're doing well.
Great.
Great.
Great. Well, here are the directions.
Hanna, could you wrap that, please?
Have a look.
Have them tell the wife we're letting Crisp go, and he knows where she is.
Have you guys had fun?
He came to us as a substitute teacher,
He didn't leave us, we left him.
He didn't say anything.
He doesn't bite. Don't worry.
He doesn't like anyone to talk to him.
He doesn't live in France.
He found out where we were and tried to kidnap Dominic.
He is. He's a great athlete.
He lives in France.
He lives with his mother and stepfather.
He lives with his mother.
He looked very healthy.
He looks odd, but he's a wonderful teacher.
He said something about getting his lasers.
He sounds like a special child.
He wasn't my boyfriend. I hardly knew the guy.
He works alone. Not anymore.
He'll kill me. You're just going to stand there?
He's 13.
He's a ca ca poo poo.
He's a poo poo ca ca.
He's a poo poo face.
He's beating you, too?
He's been acting a little strange lately.
He's been going for three weeks now.
He's my boy!
He's not married, Mom!
He's not your hostage. He's your son.
He's probably big. Is he a wrestler?
Hello, Joyce.
Help!
Help!
Help!
Help! Help!
Help! Help!
Henry, this is obviously my partner, John Kimble.
Henry's a chef.
Her name's not Ursula.
Her teacher's salary is less than mine, which is pathetic.
Her.
Here, lady. I gave her your stuff. Where's the rest of my money?
Here's a picture. You listening?
Here's your crown.
Hey, baby.
Hey, come here.
Hey, I'm a police officer. This is an arrest.
Hey, I'm not stupid, Mr. Crisp.
Hey, Mr. Crisp.
Hey, snap out of it!
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, you're looking great.
Hey, Zach.
Hey.
Hi, champ.
Hi, Cindy.
Hi, kids.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi. I'm Jillian, Sylvester's mom.
Hi. I've been leaving messages on your machine.
Hi. It took all day, but I found out Zach Sullivan and his mother...
Hi. There will be four of us.
His name's Zach Sullivan.
His name's Zach Sullivan. What do you think?
His wife took his kid and a couple of million,
Hmm?
Hmm.
Hold it! Right there. Drop it! Hurry!
Hold on tight, okay?
Hold on. I'm right here.
Hold onto my hand.
How about 6:30, 7:00?
How are you?
How did it go?
How do I look?
How long have we been married?
How long have you been teaching kindergarten?
How long you been a cop?
How many of you were born in Astoria?
How many?
How much was it, $3 million?
How the hell do you get out of here?
How'd she look?
How's everybody feeling today?
How's it going?
Huh?
Huh.
Hurry!
I almost didn't recognize you with all your clothes on.
I assume you have some teaching experience.
I been a cop for 12 years.
I beg your pardon?
I bet she would make a much better witness.
I can't believe you got them all to sleep.
I can't do that.
I can't even believe I told you.
I caught him doing it yesterday.
I could talk to him about taking more interest in his son.
I didn't know he was following me.
I didn't know who my ex husband was when I married him.
I didn't mean to startle you.
I don't have to justify myself to you!
I don't know that many people.
I don't know what my dad does.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I didn't see anything.
I don't know. What happened?
I don't think it was the crab salad.
I don't want Dominic to pay for it.
I don't want to lose Dominic.
I fell down again.
I got a kid in there. I'm a cop.
I got it caught.
I got so sick of other people's kids.
I got some goodies and...
I got to get out of here right now.
I got you. Just hold on tight now.
I had a great time.
I had three fathers.
I hate it, too.
I have a better idea.
I have a problem.
I have a small problem.
I have a son I've hardly seen in seven years.
I have a son.
I have a witness, too.
I have some great, exciting, wonderful news, Mother.
I have to get out of here.
I have witnesses.
I haven't seen him in a long time.
I help people.
I just don't feel so good.
I just found out where they're hiding.
I just got...
I just need a minute.
I knew it.
I know what I'm doing.
I know what this is about.
I know you're in there.
I know, but not for a long, long time.
I know. Ask for at least $1,000, okay?
I know. She poisoned your hamsters.
I like how they talk.
I like you, Cindy.
I love this.
I love you, Henry.
I love you, Mother.
I love you, too, Phoebes.
I love you. Do you understand?
I made it myself.
I mean, more than fine.
I mean, you're very good deputies.
I need to go to the bathroom.
I pledge allegiance to the flag
I prefer it that way.
I promised my boy I'd get him one.
I put up these lasers to protect us.
I realized that the real action is in kindergarten.
I remember when he was 5.
I see him a lot.
I see they stuck you with the Gettysburg Address this year.
I should never have let it happen.
I suppose you saw the bruises on Zach's legs?
I swear you'll never have to run from him again.
I taught geography and physical education in Arizona,
I think a lot of people that come to small towns
I think I can help you with that.
I think...
I thought he'd forgotten about that.
I thought the introduction of a ferret was a horrible idea,
I thought the use of your police whistle was outrageous...
I told Dominic that he lived in France.
I told him I was coming alone.
I told you he was big.
I understand.
I used to be a teacher.
I want to have them answered immediately.
I want to read it, too. Stop it.
I want to start with the spicy chicken wings.
I want you to walk around in a circle. Go.
I was afraid that I'd never want to have any of my own.
I was born in Austria. My father was a teacher. My mother was a teacher.
I was doing a delivery for Corky last week out of state, and I ran into your ex.
I was going to put the lasers in the antenna.
I was in a box over there...
I was just talking to the teacher, that's all.
I was wondering if you'd like to come to my place for dinner tomorrow night.
I was young and stupid, and I made a mistake.
I wish it was my house. It belongs to a friend of mine.
I worked them hard.
I would like that.
I wouldn't miss this for the world.
I... I didn't mean to hurt you.
I'd like to help you.
I'd like to introduce you to our kindergarten teacher.
I'd love to help you, but my kid's been bugging me since Christmas.
I'll be fine.
I'll be in the pharmacy.
I'll be out in a week,
I'll be ready in just a minute.
I'll be right back, okay?
I'll be right out.
I'll be watching you.
I'll even cook you dinner.
I'll get as much as I can. You hide.
I'll get him down.
I'll get someone to help you.
I'll keep an eye on it for you.
I'll knock 10% off...
I'll pay you four times what it's worth.
I'll pay you twice what he's charging.
I'll see you tomorrow.
I'll show you where the wood is.
I'll take care of her.
I'll wait over here for you, okay?
I'm a cop.
I'm a fireman.
I'm back.
I'm back.
I'm checking the schools before we buy a home here.
I'm checking.
I'm Detective John Kimble. This man is under arrest.
I'm fine.
I'm fine. I can eat anything I want.
I'm glad I told you all those things.
I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions.
I'm going to be around you a lot.
I'm going to be your sheriff.
I'm going to hang out with you
I'm going to make it.
I'm going to plant one of my lasers on that antenna.
I'm going to tell you something, Dominic.
I'm John Kimble, your new kindergarten teacher.
I'm listening.
I'm looking forward to it.
I'm lost. Where is the dining room? This house is huge.
I'm lucky. My ex got remarried to a very nice man.
I'm not a policeman! I'm a princess.
I'm not doing any lineup, and there ain't jack shit you can do about it!
I'm not going to offer to cook her dinner.
I'm not going to throw up on you, but I am going to kiss you.
I'm okay. Get Dominic.
I'm on fire!
I'm on fire!
I'm only interested in her because she works at the school.
I'm pressing charges against you.
I'm sorry about being so personal.
I'm sorry Zach's late. The car wouldn't start.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hit the man, especially in front of the children.
I'm sorry. I wanted to give you a second chance.
I'm sorry. Things have been hectic.
I'm stuck with your job.
I'm the party pooper.
I'm trying my best.
I'm trying to get a manicure.
I'm visiting here from Austria.
I'm watching you.
I'm your father, Dominic.
I'm your father!
I'm your mother, aren't I?
I've been after Crisp for four years, and she's letting my key witness walk away?
I've been searching for you for five years.
I've been trying to get to know the parents, but some of them are avoiding me.
I've been working undercover for a long time.
I've got to tell you the truth.
I've got to work.
I've never seen anyone so little eat so much.
If a stranger knocks on your door, never answer the door.
If he bites you, you get rabies and die.
If he wasn't going to counseling, I could see the point of saying something.
If I don't eat regularly, I get a little nuts.
If I lost Dominic, I don't think I could go on living.
If she wants police protection, she'll produce the money.
If you were any stiffer, we could take you surfing.
If you were me, you'd do the same thing.
In California or anywhere else.
In exchange for her testimony against him.
In here.
In the meantime, stay out. Go on.
Is doing things you normally wouldn't do.
Is everything okay?
Is it safe?
Is she really?
Is she?
Is your wife okay, sir?
It couldn't have been the donuts.
It feels terrible, and it looks dreadful.
It felt great.
It is the season.
It makes you big and strong.
It might be a tumor.
It snows in winter there.
It wasn't overcooked?
It's a fire alarm!
It's a real nice, healthy place where they're living.
It's called "police school."
It's going to be hard for you to understand,
It's got to be her.
It's him, Mom.
It's murder one this time.
It's my birthday.
It's my second day.
It's not a date, I know.
It's not a tumor at all.
It's not a tumor!
It's not your fault.
It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you.
It's still in great shape.
It's story time, Mr. Kimble.
It's the best I could do.
It's time to turn this mush into muscles.
It's true!
It's very nice to see you all again.
It's when your daddy lives someplace else and comes over to take you places,
Ja.
Ja.
Ja. Why weren't you happy?
John is a bit unusual.
John?
Joyce, wait! Wait!
Joyce!
Joyce! Dominic!
Joyce.
Just don't harm the boy, okay?
Just don't throw up on me.
Just let me handle this myself, Mother.
Just sit down, okay?
Just tell me what you have, Danny, and I'll take good care of you.
Just wait here a minute.
Just what I need.
Keep looking. Check for offshore accounts under Dominic's name...
Kids love that outdoor kind of stuff.
Kimble, hold on a second. I...
Kimble, sit down!
Kimble, the hallway's full of smoke.
Kimble, this might not be her.
Kimble, you've wasted years chasing after me,
Kimble's been on this a long time.
Know what I think?
Ladies and gentlemen,
Ladies!
Lasers? I think I know where he is.
Last one to the table is a rotten banana!
Leave me alone!
Leave me alone!
Let go of me!
Let go of me!
Let go!
Let him go!
Let me get this, and I'll be right out.
Let me go!
Let me just start reading.
Let me take care of Cindy.
Let's go back to class.
Let's say that together.
Let's welcome him into our community
Like $1,000?
Like Crisp.
Like some log cabin in the woods near a lake.
Like what?
Listen, he's a dead ringer for Crisp. Look.
Listen, I was just thinking.
Listen, Kimble. You got to handle this like any other police situation.
Listen! Just listen.
Locate Crisp's wife and offer her immunity
Look, nobody around here knows anything about this.
Look, you're going to be out of here in a few days.
Looked great.
Manicure, Mr. Crisp?
March, two, three, four. March, two, three, four.
March! One, two, three, four.
Mary, you first.
Matthew...
Maybe it was the burrito. Or it could've been the sausages.
Maybe we should take a wild stab at getting to know each other
Maybe your best isn't good enough.
Me? Well, there was an opening for a kindergarten teacher.
Meet my very good friend, Phoebe O'Hara.
Mind if I talk to my friend a little bit?
Miss O'Hara is going to talk to you about something very important.
Mmm hmm.
Monsters.
Most kindergarten children can't read yet.
Mother, got this great surprise for Junior.
Mother, you are going to make him sick.
Mr. John Kimble.
Mr. Kimble, are you all right?
Mr. Kimble, I need to go real bad.
Mr. Kimble, Miss Schlowski will see you now.
Mr. Kimble, you have no teaching experience whatsoever, do you?
Mr. Kimble!
Mr. Kimble! Mr. Kimble!
Mrs. Hagley is a lot better than you.
Mrs. Sullivan!
My boy?
My dad doesn't do anything since the crash.
My dad gives money to people that doesn't have money,
My dad is a gynecologist, and he looks at vaginae all day long.
My dad repairs cars driven by women who are pinheads.
My dad watches TV all day long.
My dad, um, is a psychologist,
My dad's divorced.
My ex wife got remarried.
My father was a cop, my brother was a cop,
My hat?
My husband has started counseling about this.
My mom hopes he's going to die real soon.
My mom's a teacher in this school,
My mother was a cop's wife.
My name is John Kimble,
My name is Ursula. Wonderful to meet you.
My old lady left 'cause of the money.
My son can.
My son doesn't know me because of you.
My superintendent told me I had to replace Mrs. Hagley,
Nah, he doesn't want to eat that.
Neither am I.
Never talk to strangers.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
No fear.
No harm in trying.
No lineup, no testimony.
No other assets under the name Joyce Palmieri.
No, he was not bad.
No, I'm not.
No, it's not fair!
No, Lowell.
No, Lowell. She went to see someone.
No, my wife had to stay behind to complete the sale of our home.
No, no.
No, what's tough on Sylvester is his father left us for another man.
No!
No!
No! Let me off of him!
No.
No.
No.
No.
No. Don't start this.
No. I was changing a tire,
No. I'm not.
No. It's when the daddy doesn't want to see his little boy anymore.
No. No way.
No. No, not since he was two. His father lives in California.
No. No, you can't.
No. Sit down, man.
No. That's not true. He never bites.
No. This is no joke. You took $3 million.
No. Two more days of this, and he'll quit.
None of it made me really happy.
Not a classy girl like you.
Not exactly a job for you.
Nothing.
Now do the same thing. Way back. And down in big circles. Big circles.
Now let me out of here!
Now listen to me. He killed your boyfriend.
Now we're going to do something extremely fun.
Now we're going to play another game.
Now we're going to play another game.
Now write and say these words...
Now you're mine.
Now, anyone that was not born in Astoria,
Now, did Danny ever say what Crisp's wife looked like?
Now, I know you like that woman. What is your problem?
Now, let's everybody say, "Good morning, Mr. Kimble."
Now, the first thing the deputy trainees have to learn
Now, the next time you hear this whistle,
Now, will you tell me something? Don't lie.
Now?
O'Hara says they think they've located the wife.
O'Hara, meet Kimble.
Obviously, I'm not into baking cakes,
Of course you would. And flowers as well. Here you go.
Of course. You're a genius, Henry.
Of the people...
Of the United States of America,
Oh, Alex is his name.
Oh, and Kimble, the name's O'Hara.
Oh, Dominic, Dominic,
Oh, don't shoot.
Oh, God.
Oh, good. Okay.
Oh, great. Well, that was fast.
Oh, how could I say no to you?
Oh, I can't wait.
Oh, I hate this.
Oh, it must be from the milk.
Oh, it's so nice to see you again.
Oh, man.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. Wait a minute.
Oh, really? I wouldn't have guessed.
Oh, um...
Oh, yes, I do. I know him well.
Oh, you always exaggerate, Cullen.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. I got a bottle of wine for your big date...
Oh. Kindergarten, 6 year olds.
Oh. Oh, well, that's a relief.
Ohh.
Okay, don't lag behind.
Okay, hmm.
Okay, now, today we're going to talk
Okay, stay calm.
Okay, stay together. Stay together.
Okay, that's obviously not my final offer.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Dominic!
Okay. Here's the wife at 17. Real name's Rachel Myatt.
Okay. I'm proud of you. Keep going.
Okay. Next, uh...
Okay. This is the only picture we have of him.
Okay. You can go.
On a pony.
On Monday nights, my mom tutors and Mrs. Quinn takes care of me.
On second thought,
On the testimony of that junkie?
One named Walt, two named Ralph.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
One!
Ooh, excuse me, but it's good. It is good.
Ooh, good arms.
Open up.
Or she gets no police protection.
Our forefathers brought forth on this continent...
Our forefathers brought...
Our mom says that our dad is a real sex machine.
Play with the kids, honey.
Please allow me to finish.
Please don't bring the school system into it. It will make matters worse.
Please, give him back.
Please, let him go.
Please, please, don't do this!
Please?
Poo poo ca ca!
Put that cigar out. It's unhealthy for the kid.
Quickest way to slip up doing undercover work
Quickly.
Quiet! Come on.
Quiet. That's enough.
Rachel!
Rachel.
Reading, writing, arithmetic!
Ready?
Ready?
Relax.
Relax. I'm putting it down.
Remember, no fear.
Right here.
Right.
Salazar told me to tell you this.
Samantha calls him "The Giant."
Say it. Say it!
Scared? Of course he's scared.
See that?
See you tomorrow.
Shall not perish from this earth.
She calls him Dominic.
She changed her hair and stuff, but she looked like a million dollars.
She doesn't even seem the type.
She doesn't live like someone with millions of dollars.
She doesn't want me to be part of his life.
She knows the children and the parents.
She locates the kid, you find the mother and the cash,
She looked great, Mr. Crisp. Yeah.
She told me all about it, and she's very sorry.
She'll love them.
She'll make Crisp. I guarantee it.
She's better than you, too.
She's from Hannibal, Missouri, class of '76.
She's going in undercover as a substitute kindergarten teacher.
She's going to run again.
She's got to cooperate about the money,
She's got under $1,000 in the bank, no stocks, no bonds,
She's not my sister.
Shh!
Shh! Quiet.
Shh. Don't say anything. Just take it easy. I'll take care of it. Trust me.
Shit!
Shit. Who does he think he is? He's lucky I didn't kick his ass.
Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Slow down!
So far I have three possible suspects, one likely.
So I brought these little things to donate for the raffle prizes.
So is Ursula.
So pay attention to what she has to say, okay?
So shove your handcuffs up your ass!
So the doctor says it's a stomach flu.
So who are you, man?
So, what's so great?
So, when I moved to this country,
So, where you from?
So...
Some of them are like that. It's a strange town that way, especially with new arrivals.
Somebody! Help!
Someone finally noticed.
Something about having to leave in the middle of the night
Somewhere outside like California, raise your hands.
Sorry it took so long, Cullen.
Sorry.
Sorry. Can you gift wrap it?
Start. Come on.
Stay behind me.
Stay close to me.
Stay close to the wall. Let's go.
Stay together.
Stay together. Hold onto your partner.
Step onto the numbers.
Stop it!
Stop it! Don't do that!
Stranger!
Stranger!
Sure you do. It's me.
Sure, but one at a time, okay?
Sure.
Sure. Please.
Swing your arms, two, three, four.
Take it back!
Take off the gun.
Take the gun.
Take your toy back to the carpet.
Tell me about it.
Tell me.
Tell O'Hara and Kimble their witness is dead, so Crisp is going to walk.
Thank you for your time.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Very good.
Thanks again.
Thanks for the tip.
Thanks, man.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks. I don't think it's a good idea.
Thanks. You want some of this?
That all men are created equal...
That all men are created equal...
That doesn't matter.
That figures.
That helps much.
That is far away.
That sounds fair.
That would be fine.
That'll be $57.90.
That's a ferret.
That's a first.
That's a good idea.
That's all I could think of.
That's all I know how to be.
That's her 10 years later.
That's important.
That's my philosophy, too.
That's not what it is.
That's right. But I'm divorced.
That's right. I am.
That's the creep.
That's very good. Perfect. Okay. Let's try it again.
That's very kind, but I don't think so.
That's what you said before.
That's where you're going, you son of a bitch!
That's why I don't want him to get you two.
That's why I quit teaching, you know.
That's why there was nothing wrong with you.
That's...
The bad people have found us.
The bad people.
The bastard handcuffed me to a dead man!
The doctor says it's not as bad as it looks.
The key! Give me the key!
The kids.
The king of Mount Kimble!
The little bastards are going to eat you alive.
The only problem I've got is that I'm doing your job.
The only relative she's got left is the kid.
The single parent capital of America.
The truth is, my ex husband is a walking nightmare.
Then they give other money back
Then you make your airplane go up into the clouds.
There are 14 boys in the classroom.
There he is.
There is no bathroom!
There never was!
There's been a change of plan.
These are beautiful pictures of you and Dominic.
They must be paying you a lot more than they're paying me.
They released Crisp this morning. He's probably on his way here.
They sure did.
They wouldn't have sent me otherwise.
They're 6 year olds. How much trouble can they be?
They're all yours.
They're both dead.
They're looking into it.
They're not in danger.
They're pushing me around.
They're up. When will you leave me alone?
They're walking all over me.
This is a fire drill!
This is a fire drill.
This is a joke, right?
This is all I need, an obstacle.
This is Henry Shoop, my fiancé.
This is Mr. Kimble, your new kindergarten teacher.
This is my secret hiding spot.
This is not a dog.
This is the real thing.
This is your new class mascot.
This man's crazy. Look at him.
Three, four.
To keep the bad people away.
Today we're going to talk about strangers.
Too much homework makes me sick!
Tough guys don't eat Jell O.
Tourists.
Try not to step in anything.
Try not to step in anything.
Two hot dogs?
Uh oh what?
Uh oh, pull over.
Uh, and the blueberry pie with ice cream for dessert. Ja.
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
Uh... Well, I've got to head back tonight.
Um...
Um...
Um... Okay.
Unfortunately, the first one died.
Ursula, how are you?
Very good.
Very good.
Very straight. Very straight.
Wait a minute.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
Wait! Take me.
Was it Crisp?
We all like this one and if you read us a story now, everybody will go to sleep.
We have a tradition in Austria where we follow the footsteps of our parents.
We have someone special to help.
We have the same kind of hands.
We know who you are...
We never talk to strangers.
We should think about buying something up here,
We thought it was another drill.
We try to emphasize the three C's:
We'll offer protection if you tell us about the money.
We're getting out of here. Dominic?
We're going to be a family again, son.
We're going to play a game called,
We're not who you think we are.
We're police officers.
We've got lots of other cases to clear.
We've got to press Joyce now.
We've run out of time.
Welcome to Astoria,
Well, congratulations.
Well, Dominic was talking to me about having to move around a lot
Well, for example, what brought you here?
Well, get out!
Well, here we are.
Well, I got tired of teaching teenagers.
Well, I'd better get back to class.
Well, I've got news for you.
Well, if you give me his name and number,
Well, it seems that's he's becoming a little obsessed with playing with dolls.
Well, Joyce's story about the house checked out.
Well, Kimble, I think you scored.
Well, let's have it.
Well, nice to meet you. Congratulations. Happy birthday.
Well, tomorrow morning.
Well, we're all glad the kindergarten class could join us.
Well, you taught them the basics.
What a dumb name.
What about child support and alimony?
What about dogs?
What about your ex husband? Does he see Dominic a lot?
What are you doing here, you asshole?
What are you doing with this?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you going to do, handcuff her to your car and take her for a ride?
What are you looking at?
What are you talking about?
What did it feel like to hit that son of a bitch?
What do I do?
What do you mean, "no money?"
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
What do you want to know?
What happened to your dog?
What I meant was you tell me, who is your daddy and what does he do?
What is this?
What the fuck?
What you doing in there?
What you mean, "Hey, baby?"
What you must never ever do is...
What?
What?
What... is... that?
What's a divorce?
What's a ferret?
What's happened?
What's his name with his back to me?
What's his name?
What's that supposed to mean?
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
When I was putting Dominic to bed, he mentioned you had a son, too.
When it immediately follows another vowel.
When it's time to pass the test...
When you hear two whistle blows, take your toy back where you got it
Where are they?
Where do we send the invitation?
Where is he?
Where'd she go?
Where's Dominic?
Where's Dominic?
Where's my grandson?
Where's my grandson?
Who are you, old lady?
Who the hell is that?
Who?
Who?
Who?
Who?
Who's that?
Whoa, honey. That's a fire in there.
Why are you mad at Mr. Kimble?
Why are you staring at me like that?
Why are you telling me all of this?
Why did you tell her you were my sister?
Why don't you all lie down?
Why don't you want to see your little boy? Was he bad?
Why not?
Why?
Why? Because she doesn't want to have anything to do with her ex husband?
With liberty and justice for all.
Without me, you wouldn't even have a life.
Would you like to join us for dinner?
Wow.
Wow. This is amazing.
Wow. This is quite a place.
Yeah, I know all about you, Kimble.
Yeah, I know. I'm hypoglycemic.
Yeah, it's okay. You can talk to kids.
Yeah, my fiancé.
Yeah, that's her.
Yeah, you can talk to dogs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Don't laugh.
Yeah. I have to get going, too.
Yes, can I help you?
Yes, I do.
Yes, I'm sure he is.
Yes, of course. That would be great.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes?
Yes?
Yes?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. It works. This is great.
Yes. Very fast.
You bastard!
You bastard! Where's Dominic?
You be a good boy. I love you.
You can trust me.
You can trust me.
You can't come in.
You can't just walk in here and put a gun in my face.
You could be right.
You did very well.
You don't know what he's like.
You get in touch with her parents?
You get your own goddamn family!
You give me the names of your drug suppliers and distributors,
You got the stuff?
You happen to know someone that's not better than me?
You have a son.
You have no right talking to me like that.
You have to excuse my brother. He has no manners.
You hit the kid, I hit you.
You kids are soft. You lack discipline.
You know what to do?
You know, doing odd things.
You know, it's weird.
You know, kindergarten is like the ocean.
You led him here. If he has Dominic, I'll kill you.
You look good yourself.
You look much better already.
You mean that, a great chef?
You mean the tower?
You mean you eat other people's lunches?
You must have nice friends.
You okay?
You really like her, and it's scaring you.
You remember her?
You said you had information about my family.
You see, his mommy and I, we just nev...
You see, his mother and I, we are...
You see, Sylvester's father doesn't live with us anymore
You should be cleaning up the paint and reading stories about bears that go shopping.
You shouldn't be here.
You stole him from me!
You think the jury's going to convict me
You told me yourself you had a few good leads.
You two are booked on the first flight to Portland tomorrow.
You walk into it showing fear, you're dead,
You want it to be her.
You won't say anything, will you?
You... You've got a little mustache.
You'll be back dealing with junkies and murderers in no time.
You'll do this to your own son?
You'll get immunity for your testimony, but we need you to help us.
You're going to be my deputy trainees.
You're going to have to do what I say. Do you understand?
You're married. You're allowed to look like slobs.
You're marrying a chef?
You're not from around here, are you?
You're not getting mellow on me, are you?
You're not going to have your mommies here to wipe your tushies.
You're not going to lose him.
You're not my father. My father lives in France.
You're not so tough without your car, are you?
You're not?
You're scaring him!
You're the best.
You've learned that the "E" is often silent
Your fairy godmother.
Your father.
Your fiancé?
Your hands!
Your mother told you that, but that's not true!
Your sheriff is proud of you.
Your son.
Yours left because she just couldn't stand the sight of you.
Zach.
Zach.
29.
31.
32.
Aren't related to Crisp. I just found out.
But you shouldn't punch people. But she...
Hi. How you doing?
Hi. One, two, three...
I'm not wearing makeup. None of us are.
No. Ja.
Please. No. No, no.
Really? He uses the dolls to look up girls' skirts.
Stranger! Stranger!
Thank you. Bye.
What's this? Don't touch that!
Yeah. Be right out!
"Down to the wood where the bluebells grow.
"E" is the fifth letter of the alphabet.
"experience life, and meet interesting people."
"If you were a bird and lived on high
"that's where I wanted to go today.
"Where am I going? I don't quite know.
"Who is my daddy and what does he do?"
"you'd lean on the wind when the wind came by.
$57.90.
$200 cash.