The Cosby Show - Season 1 Edit

A new outfit for you, daddy.

A nice soothing dog.

A real family dog for all of us.

After being in labor for 30 hours.

All right?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All you do is:

All you have to do is cheer.

And besides, this is a school night.

And go to sleep.

And have a regular life.

And I see your point.

And I will take $350 for taxes.

And it's under control, so...

And kill you.

And love me, anyway...

And maybe...

And Now Rudy might be blinded for life.

And ooze out of your ears.

And so, instead of acting disappointed

And start eating it.

And starts to pick beside the mother.

And that pain hit

And the shampoo is in Rudy's eyes

And then get a job like regular people.

And told everybody in the delivery room

And you don't mind that?

And you're going to do it because I said so!

Answer me.

Anybody got any other bright ideas?

Anywhere with anything for the rest of their lives.

Are you looking at my ear?

As the grades on your report card

Ask mom?

Because I'm not like you

Because I'm your son.

Because Rudy thinks she heard the Wolf man growling in our closet.

Because the government

Because we did not want five.

Because you are not going to live here.

Because you don't need good grades

Because you're afraid that your brain is going to explode

Because you're my dad.

Before we die.

Blood cannot get up to your brain from your leg.

Bringing home that report card.

Brought her into the room, thought we'd have big trouble...

But I forgot everything.

But I have a point, too.

But if you want my opinion

But maybe I was born to be a regular person

But she doesn't believe me.

But she yelled at me.

But you know

But your date is wearing one earring.

Bye, daddy.

Can I have something to eat before I kill him?

Captioning made possible by the U.S.

Cheer?

Cheer.

Cheer.

Clair!

Clair!

CLIFF: Who is it?

Cliff!

Cliff...

Cliff...

Come  here.

Come  here.

Come here.

Come in.

Comes for the regular people first.

Coming right up.

Dad, I thought about what you said

Dad?

Damn right.

Denise pushed us out of the bathroom

Denise, clear this table.

Denise!

Denise!

Denise!

Denise!

Denise!

Denise!

Denise?

Did you go to school today?

Did you tell Denise She could go out tonight?

Do you think when they grow up I'll be beautiful again?

Do you want me to come up there?

Don't  start touching me.

Don't answer me when I'm asking you questions.

Down to my room.

Everything else is easy.

Figure $100 a month for clothes and shoes.

Figure $200 I want to look good.

For a regular person?

For some older people.

For sure.

Four D's.

Get her cleaned up.

Get into the shower

Go ask her.

Good ahead, Rudy.

Good night, daddy.

Good night, Darling.

Good night. Good night. Good night.

Good, because I thought it was me.

Happy? Happy.

Hard to get good help, isn't it?

Have a sit down.

Have you seen the boy?

Hello, my dear.

Here, here, here.

Hey, after you've been in a turkish prison

Hey, Dad.

Hey, I know.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hi, daddy. Hi, daddy.

Hmm.

How are you?

How do you expect to get into college with these grades?

How much does that leave you with?

How ugly is he?

How's that?

I am your father.

I brought you in this world, and I'll take you out.

I can get by on baloney and cereal.

I didn't get much sleep last night.

I don't have to ask anybody.

I don't know anything about rice.

I don't know if you know it

I forgot how to breathe.

I got it in the merchant marines.

I have to ask your mother?

I just had to sit there in the Crouch just like Johnny bench.

I just hope they get out of the house

I just want you to do the best you can.

I just wanted an ANIMAL

I know. Yeah.

I love you.

I mean my own breathing.

I need some air.

I never met a more beautiful woman.

I said you could listen to it.

I think we should be allowed some moments of happiness.

I told her there wasn't such a thing

I was beautiful  once... before the children came.

I wasn't doing anything.

I wasn't touching you, little girl.

I'll be crueler on an empty stomach.

I'll get through high school.

I'll give you $300 a week.

I'll live in New jersey.

I'll ride a motorbike.

I'll shove you.

I'll take it!

I'll try, dad, I really will.

I'm all scrambled out.

I'm assuming it will be better than last semester's.

I'm Denise's father.

I'm finished with This entire matter.

I'm just going to hold the rope.

I'm not going to college.

I'm supposed to do something now.

I've got a date.

I've got everything I need plus $200 left for the month.

If I do, he'll say "No problem," and I'll have to kill him.

If she is, can we get a dog?

If you really want us to.

If you want to keep dancing around

If you weren't a doctor, I wouldn't love you less

In the first place.

Is that right?

It doesn't mean for you to come in.

It's because he lost the other one.

It's Friday, daddy.

It's getting late.

It's not.

Keep your mouth shut.

Let's go!

Let's just remember

Let's say you just slide by.

Like exams and papers?

Like I said...

Listen, let's put on some music around here.

Make your point.

Maybe you can just accept who I am

Maybe you should sleep with us tonight.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm... $250 a week.

Mom said I could go.

Mom, dad, we can't sleep

Mom, I wanted my eggs scrambled.

Mom, scramble my cereal.

Mom, Teddy's throwing food.

Mom, you know what you need

Mom...

Mr. Mcmannus, what I'm trying to say is

Mr. Mcmannus, where are you going?

Mr. Mcmannus, your wife is going to have the baby.

Mr. Mcmannus, your wife is having a baby in there.

Mrs. Mcmannus finally Delivered

Mrs. Mcmannus...

My wife stood up

My wife, when she was there in the delivery room

New rule in This house starting NOW:

No problem. Huh?

No problem. No problem.

No wonder you get d's in everything.

No, but you can walk your sister...

No, I was looking at the earring in it.

No, I'm back in school.

No, no.

No.

No. Two years behind.

Nobody's to touch anybody

Not in those pants.

Now go on in and change your pants.

Now I'm telling you

Now listen to me.

Now you've got to have an apartment

Now, son, come here.

Now, you are afraid to try

Now?

Oh, I'm assuming the same thing.

Oh, I'm not in it anymore.

Oh, shucks.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Okay, I won't touch you.

Okay.

Only half of your face is made up.

Or drive a bus.

Or walking sideways all night?

Plan to have a girlfriend?

Please control your children.

Popped it out just like toast.

Push him out, shove him out

Push him out, shove him out, way out!

Push him out, shove him out, way out!

Push him out, shove him out, way out!

Push him out, shove him out, way...

Push... just push.

Regular people?

Regular people.

Right, no problem.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Save the smart mouth answers for your father.

She  does want you there.

She doesn't want me there.

Snitch.

So an apartment in Manhattan

So don't worry about it.

So don't worry about it.

So it's a school night.

So what does that leave you with?

So when do you ship out again?

So you want me to kill him for you?

So you're saying

So, no problem.

Son...

Spilling food and acting like fools, that's fine with me.

Stop dancing around with that food

Stop touching me!

Stop touching me.

Suppose...

Take a look at this.

Teachers grade you on some weird things.

Teddy's touching Rudy again.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That my parents were never married, okay?

That's all.

That's good, sir.

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life!

The baby falls out

Theo:   Get out of my room!

Theo.

Theo...

Theodore, you go to your room and wait for your father.

Theodore, your sister doesn't call you names.

Theodore.

There are women

There is a problem.

There is no Wolf man growling in your closet.

There is there.

There's no Wolf man growling in your closet.

There's nobody there.

There's...

This is here come here.

This is how we got the children

To be regular people.

Turn on the water, stand under the water

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Use the soap, rinse and dry yourselves

Vanessa:   Open this door!

Vanessa:   Stop touching me!

Vanessa:   Who it is!

Vanessa!

Vanessa.

Vanessa.

Way out!

We already have a family dog you.

What kind of salary do you expect

What we  all could use

What you're going to say.

When I say, "Who is it?"

When I say, "Who is it?"

When she says, "Fine with me"

When you cross back, will they fill it in?

When you cross the equator, they Pierce your ear.

Where you going?

Where...

Which you're getting today.

Who are nine months pregnant who are out picking rice.

Who is it?

Who's in trouble now?

Whoa!

Whoa.

Whose name starts with the same letter

Why do we have four children?

Will run you at least $400 a month.

Will you be doing the other side

Women are like that.

Yeah, dad. Huh?

Yeah, it's a real conversation piece

Yeah, Well, he gave me a perfectly good explanation

Yeah, you know, who work in a gas station

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Sit down.

Yes, I have.

Yes, indeed.

Yes, you will.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Good night.

Yo.

You are beautiful now.

You are going to try as hard as you can.

You better handle it.

You graduate from high school.

You haven't eaten yet.

You know that he spent a year in a turkish prison.

You know what?

You live in New jersey, you've got to have a car.

You need a helmet.

You said we could have the radio on.

You say who it is.

You think I'm talking just to hear myself?

You two, go upstairs

You was too touching me!

You're a doctor and Mom's a lawyer.

You're both successful, and that's great.

You're in Denise's class?

You're in trouble already

You've fooled around long enough.

You've got to find a job.

Your face?   Your   face.

Your face.

Your mother and I shouldn't care if you get d's

Your mother asked me to come up here

Your mother loves you, too.

Your parents give you everything and what do you do?

Your wife's going to deliver anyway, trust me.

(  giggling )

(  jazz )

(  knocking )

(  knocking )

(  knocking )

(  rock music )

(  talking to herself )

♪ No... ♪

$200.

$250 dollars a week?

$300 a week $1,200 a month.

$850.