The Christmas Chronicles Edit

A 2014 red Dodge Challenger, license plate six, Bravo, Lima, seven, two, four.

A couple of days ago, do you?

A Pierce always sees it through.

A video showing exactly how he does it. It's gonna get a gazillion hits.

About dreaming of being a fashion designer?

Adam Maple!

After all, my friend Teddy here is headed down the same path.

Ah, perfect.

Ah, right.

Ah, that's okay, Kate. I guess it's understandable.

Ah, well, I can't do anything to stop you.

Ah, you just got outta the joint again, what, about a month ago, Charlie?

Ah, you know what I mean. Grown up big!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah.

Ah...

All right, here's the book with all the names and addresses.

All right, I need to round up the reindeer,

All right, Kate. Slow down. Slow down, Kate!

All right, now we're getting somewhere.

All right, now, I don't want any more people to see me, so...

All right, now, slow down. Just be cool. Walk regular. Regular.

All right, pick your spot.

All right, slow them down.

All right, Teddy, stand up!

All right, this just might work!

All right, you gotta hold them.

All right!

All right! Here we go!

All right? What What do we do? We...

All right.

All right. [sighs]

All right. Kate, come here.

All the presents delivered in record time, and Christmas spirit is up to 95%.

All you wanna do is hang out with your wannabe gangster friends.

An old ornament...

And

And a Pierce...

And all you want for Christmas is for her to come back.

And besides,

And don't stay up too late. And no soda! [smooches]

And go!

And I brought help!

And I try not to get into too much trouble.

And I was your Katie Cat.

And I'm actually... I'm not officially an official saint.

And if I don't...

And if you all want presents under the tree

And in your stockings in the morning,

And leap from rooftop to rooftop?

And listen, absolutely no junk food, okay?

And not just his hand!

And now, I'd give anything just to tell him...

And over Paris,

And potential kidnapping.

And put the lights on, while you're at it. I've only been asking you all week!

And she really misses you!

And that means there's magic in the air!

And that means, Teddy, you drive!

And that's when bad things start to happen,

And the lower it goes means people are gonna start acting cranky.

And the reindeer just... flew away!

And you can never say anything to Mom about it.

And you throw 'em outta the sack.

And you won't. Officially,

And you're not allowed to steal cars from the deli parking lot.

And your sister.

And, plus, it's not just any car.

Angry.

Anybody in there?

Anybody there?

Anyone there?

Anyway, Santa, I'm not asking for much this Christmas.

Are you listening?

Armed robbery...

As I was saying,

At least it's not that far away. [sighs]

Aunt Peggy sure outdid herself this year.

Aunt Peggy's never here on Christmas Eve. And if she was,

Back down that street! Turn around, Teddy! Turn around!

Be careful, Teddy!

Be careful.

Be careful. You break your neck, and Mom will kill me.

Be good.

Because I see him all the time...

Believe.

Bjorn...

Boston... Oh!

Brace yourselves!

Burglars take things.

But deep down, you know that I know what everybody wants for Christmas.

But ever since Dad died...

But I couldn't afford the tuition.

But I haven't cut it this close in, I don't know, maybe ever.

But I promise to get my grades up in the new year.

But I really need to tell him that "

But I'm sure somebody in here will help us out.

But in the future,

But Mom says the house is too small, so maybe just a puppy.

But now, it's time for me to go home.

But that can't be! There can't be Christmas without presents!

But that's only when my brother, Teddy, makes fun of me and I lose my sh

But there is a bright spot, Dave.

But there's still so much to do.

But this is Christmas Eve...

But this year is different.

But, man, this baby really handles!

But, wow! I come from a long line

But... we can still save Christmas, right?

But... won't you need it to fly?

Bye, Wendy!

Bye.

Call the elves, and maybe,

Can I help you?

Can you do it?

Can you go, "Ho ho ho"?

Can you guys fix it?

Can't even remember the last time we did anything together, Teddy.

Can't prove it.

Catching Santa in the act?

Chance that he's gonna watch a video.

Chicago?

Chill out.

Christmas is in trouble.

Christmas must endure?

Christmas spirit is already down to 31%.

Christmas spirit is more powerful than you could ever imagine.

Christmas spirit is more powerful than you could ever imagine.

Christmas...

Claus. Santa.

Coal?

Come back!

Come on, Comet!

Come on, fellas. Really? I

Come on, guys.

Come on, Kate! I'm waiting!

Come on, quick! Here we go!

Come on, Teddy Bear.

Come on, you guys! Dad would've had this place looking

Come on!

Come on!

Come on! Hop in the back!

Come on! I won't let you forget anything about tonight...

Come on.

Comet, you can slow down!

Comet!

Comet!

Comet! Cupid! Donner!

Comet! How cool is this?

Comet? The Comet?

Comet.

Cupid? [gasps]

Dad likes sprinkles.

Dad wouldn't be disappointed in you.

Damn it!

Dave, just just give her a call.

Dave? Little Mikey!

Dear Santa, This year we would like a pony for Christmas.

Decorate the tree.

Depressed.

Did I say Dasher? [chuckles] I always forget Vixen. Vixen!

Did you talk to my mom?

Dino Arnali, 139 Pond Street!

Do the dishes, and take out the trash.

Do you realize how big of a deal this is? I need to get a closer look.

Do you really wanna tell your kids that you were that guy?

Do you remember what you got for Christmas in 1971?

Do you want mine?

Don't fall.

Don't have an account.

Don't worry, guys! Everything's gonna be okay!

Don't you break into, like, a billion homes every year?

Donner!

Down your chimney!

Duck!

Ease them down, that's it. Easy.

Eight reindeer! How tough can it be?!

Eighteen Bridgton Road, Lowell, Massachusetts.

Either way, hope you didn't make plans for New Year's.

Elves!

Elves?

Elves? Right. They're good with bodywork?

Especially Lisa.

Especially since I got a D minus in Spanish.

Especially since I got a D minus in Spanish.

Especially when it's yours.

Everybody except Teddy.

Everything you ever really wanted for Christmas.

Excuse me?

Expecting Santa Claus to arrive.

Fake news.

Find my sack of presents,

Find my sack of toys. It'll lead you to the elves.

Fire!

First star's there...

Fly for me! You can do it!

For a mint condition 1952...

For one night, don't you think?

From this little dude.

Get back! Get back!

Get outta here, you bum!

Get outta my room. You're not allowed in here.

Gimme that tape, you little creep!

Give it a try.

Give me that.

Go!

Good move, Teddy.

Good, let's just fast forward to this year.

Good.

Guess not, but...

Guys, we better move.

Guys!

Guys! Guys!

Guys! Santa needs you!

Guys?

Ha!

Half the continent's not gonna get presents, and that,

Hang on!

Harassing the customers.

He did something really horrible, and I have proof! [pants]

He doesn't deserve anything.

He llo?

He only reads handwritten letters sent in the mail.

He said Christmas must endure!

He said the best human helpers he's ever had.

He said this would happen.

He said you guys were the only ones who would know what to do!

He sang it every Christmas Eve. [sniffles]

He shoved me against the wall, into this picture.

He took the tape.

He's compost.

He's gone!

He's got two kids with him. It could be an AMBER Alert situation.

He's turning into a real loser Ow! Teddy, what the hell?

He's with me.

He's, uh... bringing me a present.

Hello?

Hello.

Help me, Teddy!

Helpers?

Here we go... [grunts]

Here.

Hey, come on, let me out!

Hey, don't worry, Charlie. I just reported it stolen.

Hey, he's he's actually kinda cute.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What are you doing, you guys?

Hey, hey, slow down! Slow down!

Hey, hey! We gotta get back to your house before your mom does!

Hey, Larry! Sheila.

Hey, little guy! What's your name?

Hey, that was the best night of my whole life!

Hey, we should make a video!

Hey, what you doing?

Hey, what's he doing?

Hey! Come back!

His list. He's checking it twice.

Hmm.

Hmm. Merry Christmas, guys!

Hmm...

Hmm...

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

Hold on to your sister!

How awesome is this?

How do you know so much about Chicago?

How we doing?

How?

How?

How?

How's the sleigh looking? Oh...

I I just don't see how it's possible.

I admire your passion, Teddy.

I also believe it.

I bet she turns you in to the cops herself!

I can't believe it!

I can't believe it! We're flying!

I can't believe you're still making video letters to Santa.

I can't help it, Santa.

I can't stay on! Help!

I do say bad words every now and then,

I don't go, "Ho ho ho." That's a myth.

I don't have time for any more of your shenanigans.

I don't know how you know all this stuff.

I don't know if you're some kind of Las Vegas magician

I don't know where the reindeer came from.

I don't know where they went, but I know what the reality is.

I don't know. He seems pretty mad.

I don't think this is what she had in mind.

I don't think your parole officer would be too happy

I dunno, maybe there's...

I got the super fly Sunburst Epiphone Casino, man!

I gotta meet my friends.

I guess I'm gonna have to do this the old fashioned way.

I had something else in mind.

I have a really hard time with languages.

I have a team of reindeer headed southbound on Michigan Avenue,

I have seen a lot of strange things in my time, but this...

I haven't written to you in a long time.

I help out Mom a lot.

I just love my candy canes.

I knew, given enough evidence, that eventually you'd come around.

I know every street in the world, kid.

I know I haven't been doing too well in school,

I know I've been an awful brother, it's just...

I know Mom sure is.

I know where to find the best I've ever had.

I know you've always wanted one.

I know, I know.

I know, I know. [clicks tongue]

I know!

I know. Me neither.

I lost all track of time.

I love you.

I mean, can't you just wave your hand and Jedi mind trick the cops?

I mean, does my butt really look that big to you?

I mean, he spent years helping other people, but where is he now?

I mean, he's still a little young, but...

I mean, he's still a little young, but...

I mean, I'm used to something with more pop under the hood,

I mean, imagine what we could cover if we all work together!

I mean, my temper.

I mean, that's, like, the worst possible thing a kid could ever do!

I mean, they haven't bestowed that title upon me officially, so...

I mean, we're not even breaking the law because...

I mean, who can eat millions of cookies in one night and not get fat, right?

I mean, you've always been a suspicious, doubtful type.

I mean...

I mean...

I saw a bunch of reindeer fly into the night sky!

I saw it on Ghost Adventurers.

I swear.

I think I'm in the North Pole. [chuckles softly]

I think it looks great.

I think it was 2009 when you made all the stockings by yourself.

I think you've done quite enough damage already, don't you?

I thought she might.

I told you to stop calling me that.

I told you, we're gonna have to move fast!

I want for the two of you to get along.

I wanted to get a closer look at the sleigh.

I was kinda worried you weren't going to make the cut this year.

I won't hurt you. I'm with Santa.

I wouldn't have believed him either, but...

I... [gasps]

I'd really like to see my dad again.

I'll look.

I'm about at the end of my rope here.

I'm afraid not, Teddy.

I'm Bing Bellamy, and all I want for Christmas is a snowboard!

I'm coming with you.

I'm falling!

I'm gonna pretend like I didn't hear that, Mom.

I'm just looking!

I'm Kate, and you're...

I'm Kate.

I'm not even sure if it's something you can do.

I'm not joking! We're gonna return the car, good as new!

I'm on Donner. What about you?

I'm one of the good guys.

I'm proud of you.

I'm proud of you.

I'm Santa Claus, Teddy, not Yoda. [grunts]

I'm Santa Claus.

I'm sorry, I don't really have the power to grant your wish.

I'm sorry, we can't help.

I've always believed in you, Kate.

I've always believed in you.

I've been so mad at him.

I've had a long day,

I've never seen it this busy on Christmas Eve.

If he knew you'd stolen that red Dodge Challenger

If I didn't have to carry my sack, I could move twice as fast!

If I don't do something quick, this night's over.

If I ever need two helpers...

If I'm not up and running in the next couple of hours,

If it isn't Charlie Plummer!

If it's good enough for Dad, it's good enough for me.

If it's okay with you, I'll just be on my way.

If there's one thing reindeer can smell, it's fear!

If you come back here, she'll kill you! You hear me? She'll kill you...

If you ever meet Mrs. Claus...

In the dark?

In you.

In your dreams.

In, uh... In the pawn shop.

Is back on.

Is it okay if I take you to him?

Is Santa's treasure.

Is there a piano in this joint?

Is this some kind of a joke?

Is this some kind of reality show? How do you know all that stuff?

Is this what happens when I leave?

It flew off the sleigh.

It hurts my eyes. [laughs]

It was a a gift from a friend.

It was a bit more hectic than usual...

It's a Wonderful Life?

It's Christmas 2011! Whoo! What did we get?

It's for you.

It's from Santa!

It's just like Daddy's.

It's more beautiful than I ever imagined. [sighs]

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's Saint Nicholas. I prefer Saint Nick.

It's this car.

James Hanson!

Jennifer Lesbilenti,

Jessica Martin, 8470 Franklin Avenue!

Jingle bells... Jingle bells...

Just a Bones Brigade skateboard.

Just chuck 'em out. I'll catch 'em, and I'll deliver!

Just hand over that bag.

Just let me think.

Just maybe, I can still save Christmas. [grunts]

Just stay next to me, but I'll do the talking.

Just the two of us! Pulling an all nighter!

Just think of us as Santa's helpers!

Just this once!

Just this once.

Just to save some random strangers.

Just turn around!

Just wanna spread a little Christmas cheer.

Just wanted to say that I've been really good this year.

Just what I asked for.

Kate, help me unload the groceries.

Kate, wait!

Kate!

Kate!

Kate! Help!

Kate! Send in the troops!

Kate... what are you...

Katie Cat!

Katie Cat! That's good, dude. Gimme some.

Katie Cat.

Lakeshore Drive?

Lamest Christmas ever.

Larry, you drove your Porsche here tonight, didn't you?

Lars. [chuckles]

Let me get this straight. You broke into this boy's residence

Let me out of here! Let me out of here!

Let's do something together.

Let's go, young man!

Let's go! Okay, hold the doors!

Let's land. It'll be easier to find from the ground.

Let's see.

Like a lot more crime.

Lisa?

Lisa.

Lisa.

Lisa.

Listen to me now!

Listen to me now!

Listen, pal. You can lose the shtick.

Little further north.

Little toy sewing machines.

Live and in person.

Look at the camera. Look and say, "Hi, Mom."

Look at this, huh! It's your sister.

Look, guys, okay,

Look, I know it sounds crazy, but please don't do that!

Look, there's presents. Go open some presents. [sniffles]

Look! I'll give you back the tape of you in the car.

Lowell.

Magic?

Make things move faster.

Man, have you ever seen anything like this?

Massachusetts.

Maybe it was a burglar.

Maybe just... [sighs]

Maybe Santa has a blanket?

Maybe we can get a shot of the whole Santa Claus,

Maybe you're onto something!

Me neither, Teddy Bear.

Me too.

Merry Christmas 2008! Santa got Teddy a bike!

Merry Christmas, Dave.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. [sighs]

Mine, too.

Mm hmm.

Mm, I... In a nice way.

Mm.

Mm. Now, you interrupted me at age nine.

Money laundering, grand theft auto.

More like Christmas beer.

More than you've seen here in a long time, and we're in Chicago, for goodness' sake!

Mrs. Claus told you to take a spare.

Must be around here somewhere.

Must endure!

My brother, Teddy, won't even let me touch his.

My crew of elves.

My hat!

My hat!

My hat's gone!

My... well, he came down my chimney.

Neither do I.

Never better.

New York,

Next time you morons waste my time...

No freaking way.

No judgments!

No need to wake up early.

No one's following us, so you can slow down.

No way.

No way. That person isn't wearing an ugly Christmas sweater.

No what?

No, I can't do that.

No, I deserve it.

No, no, no, no. Teddy, Teddy, I don't think this is such a good idea.

No, no. I I didn't mean it that way.

No, stop!

No, Teddy.

No, you just go on back to your house and get some sleep.

No! No, my sister's in there!

No! The cop cruiser!

No! They probably don't think it's possible. But it is!

No...

No...

Nobody said it was okay.

Not good at all.

Not too bad for our first gig, huh?

Nothing, nobody.

Now that you've learned another language.

Now we just need to get back to Santa. [gasps]

Now we're gonna see what you're made of!

Now where is all that huff and puff about "A Pierce always sees it through"?

Now, do you remember that letter you sent me

Now, give it back!

Now, I don't know how you guys do things in the North Pole, but...

Now, just think about where you wanna go...

Now, Kate, you're in charge of getting all the presents ready to go!

Now, old Charlie here is in the Naughty List Hall of Fame!

Now, she's she's having second thoughts and...

Now, sit down or I'll cuff you to the desk.

Now, they were always good kids. Well, almost

Of course the sleigh!

Of that beautiful scarf you made for your mom.

Of what appear to be...

Oh man!

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Oh no, no, no, no! Santa, I can't do this!

Oh no!

Oh no! Christmas spirit's already down 35%.

Oh yeah? They work in Detroit?

Oh, brother, the mood in this place is really bringing Christmas spirit down,

Oh, Christmas Eve is always the best night of my life.

Oh, come on, I'm not even going that fast!

Oh, come on! Do you wanna save Christmas?

Oh, he's serious.

Oh, I don't have a car. Can you call an Uber?

Oh, I expect this station will be bursting at the seams come morning.

Oh, I... [scoffs]

Oh, jeez...

Oh, my God!

Oh, my gosh! The fireplace! I just got goosebumps!

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no. I certainly wouldn't ruin the surprise

Oh, no. That's terrible.

Oh, not good.

Oh, sorry! I meant "heck."

Oh, that that won't help. Your hat's not magic.

Oh, that reminds me, though. [sighs] Uh...

Oh, um...

Oh, wait till you see what happens next.

Oh, yeah, right.

Oh, you guys got any cash on you?

Oh, you know how the elves exaggerate. They get excited at the drop of a hat.

Oh, you're gonna walk away from me? Huh?

Oh, you're so dead!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh. [speaking Elvish]

Oh...

Oh... and not recycling.

Okay, I want answers. Real answers, right now.

Okay, look, pal. You don't walk in here and talk about my ex wife.

Okay, respect.

Okay, Santa Claus. That's enough fun for one night.

Okay, so most people don't know this, but reindeer love candy canes. Watch.

Okay, then, smart guy.

Okay, then, smart guy.

Okay, well, you can't go, 'cause I need to work.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. [chuckles]

Okay. [sighs]

Okay. Deal.

On foot.

On foot.

On the corner of Naperville and Roslyn. Car 476 responding.

On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner! On, Blitzen!

On, Cupid! On, Comet!

On, Dasher! On, Dancer! On, Prancer! On, Vixen!

On, Dasher! On, Dancer! On, Prancer! On, Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid!

On, Donner! On, Blitzen!

On, Donner! On, Blitzen! [speaking Elvish]

Once you get older, the whole Christmas thing

One more thing!

One night only.

Or a freak who hacks into people's personal lives on the Internet.

People need Christmas to remind themselves of how good they can be!

Pilates?

Please leave us alone.

Please? Mom always says we should be helping each other out.

Plus...

Prancer! Dancer! Get back here!

Prison tattoos and slinging tequila shots!

Prison tattoos and slinging tequila shots!

Purely intentional.

Put your seat belt on.

Ray, Scarlett, and Brooke Stuber, 3947 Jackson Street!

Read about all those wars in school?

Ready! Aim!

Reindeer must've broken off somewhere over Lakeshore Drive.

Reindeer!

Reindeer... running down Michigan Avenue...

Right, habit. Okay, left on State, right on Erie, left on Michigan.

Right, right. Why don't you give us a "Ho ho ho"

Right.

Sanchez family, Mexico City! We got exactly nine seconds!

Santa Claus?

Santa got Teddy a bike!

Santa sent me.

Santa wrote me back.

Santa, are you okay?

Santa, help him!

Santa, just let us help you!

Santa."

Santa's really worried about you.

Say "Merry Christmas."

Say, "Thank you, Santa."

Second star's there.

See if we can find my reindeer.

See you guys tomorrow, bright and early.

Seems pretty lame.

Seriously?

She has to work at the hospital most nights,

She invited me out for coffee this morning.

She used to always ask for sewing kits,

She's lonely, too.

She's our friend and she's crazy!

She's so sick of your crap,

She's so sick of your crap,

Sheila Vondersack, 341 Wood Street!

Shh, it's okay. It's okay.

Shh!

Shh.

Should we hug it out?

Show off!

Sion Pack, 1902 Ridley Street.

Sleigh bells!

Slow down, Teddy.

So first, why don't you answer that?

So good. So good.

So I guess it's gonna be baptism by fire!

So I start dinner three, four times a week,

So just tell me your name, and I don't wanna hear Santa Claus.

So, just give her a call, Dave!

So, what is all this stuff?

So, what? Did you rob a toy store, too?

So...

Some people have no one else to take care of them.

Some things we gotta figure out on our own, Teddy.

Some way we could work together to...

Something I want you to have.

Something... really cool.

Sometimes, you gotta break the rules for the greater good.

Sorry you missed it, Dave.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Speaking of which, it would be great if the two of you could help me

Starting from the age of six.

State Street, go!

Stays away from sugar and carbs, what difference does it make? Oh man.

Stolen by two kids and an extremely large man.

Stop!

Stop!

Take care of him!

Take that, fat man!

Take the cookies out in 20 minutes, all right?

Take them!

Talk to me, ladies!

Talk to me, ladies!

Ted. Teddy!

Teddy is about to open his present from Daddy.

Teddy Pierce.

Teddy wrote one this year?

Teddy, get down here! You've gotta see this!

Teddy, I can handle it.

Teddy, I'm gonna need your knife.

Teddy, look!

Teddy, please put the tree back up.

Teddy, stop the car!

Teddy, this is incredible!

Teddy, want me to take the reins?

Teddy, watch out!

Teddy, you aren't such an awful brother.

Teddy, you heard him. We're on the naughty list for life!

Teddy, you think we could pick it up a little bit?

Teddy!

Teddy! Teddy! Teddy!

Teddy?

Tell him what?

Tell me you're getting this.

Tell us what you're doing on Christmas Eve borrowing a car.

Thanks, Kate.

Thanks. You're, uh... You're making me feel great.

That could be worth what's about to happen to you?

That is so cool.

That means we traveled thousands of miles in, like, 30 seconds.

That was before you told me I was gonna have to drive!

That'd be great.

That's because she knows, deep down,

That's just the kinda lame garbage I'd expect from a Lost Believer.

That's my car!

That's my car!

That's my cue!

That's probably why you're a good cop.

That's the first time I heard that one. How about you, Dave?

That's why I love you.

The bag of toys!

The closer you get, the faster it chimes.

The Grinch!

The least you could do is play some Christmas music.

The longer I stay in here, the lower it's gonna go,

The person responsible for the Christmas Meltdown of 2018?

The troops!

The troops?

The way your father believed in you.

The way your mother believes in you.

The whole naughty or nice concept, don't you think?

Then I need your help.

Then I'm coming with.

There is a maniac dressed in a weird Santa costume

There is more to Christmas than all that stuff.

There is no...

There won't be any presents.

There you go. It's okay.

There's a perfect spot for it on the tree.

There's still time for you to make it right.

These are all the things you ever dreamed of when you were a kid.

These are some serious charges.

They build thousands of cars every year.

They're not boring slugs like you.

They're not that far away.

This is exactly the way Dad used to...

This is the best Christmas present ever.

This job's always full of surprises.

This looks like mistletoe.

This takes it to a whole other level.

This was all me. I took the car.

This was his favorite song.

This was the best I could do.

This wasn't my idea! Look, Mikey, Officer Jameson

This year, I have a special request.

Timmy Burks!

To what?

Tonight,

Tonight!

Tony Brooks!

Toward Water Tower.

Tracking device for the sack.

True, but...

Two tone Gretsch Anniversary.

Uh oh.

Uh uh. Not if I can help it.

Uh, I don't think I'm supposed to be in here.

Uh, Min Jun.

Uh, Santa, that's not how you work the radio.

Uh, Santa, you know that stuff's junk, right?

Uh, so a few brats don't get presents. It's not the end of the world.

Uh, sorry for the intrusion, folks.

Uh, that kinda undermines

Uh...

Uh...

Um, a taxi?

Um, although I don't think it's enough to cover

Unfortunately for you,

Unfortunately, some other habits took precedence, you dig?

Unlike some people.

Until February.

Wait a minute, music!

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute...

Wait, those happened because you missed Christmas?

Wait, those happened because you missed Christmas?

Wait! I'm one of the good guys!

Waiting for you.

Wanna bet?

Wanna watch a movie? Mom's gone, so it can be PG 13 or maybe even R!

We all want answers, Dave.

We came back over Moscow and...

We can keep these, right, Santa?

We can't just stay here! Santa needs us!

We can't leave my sister all alone out here.

We frisked you.

We got enough footage. Let's get outta here.

We have to hang the stockings and make the eggnog!

We just wanna help!

We need a ride into the city.

We need to get things back on track.

We should go inside. It's freezing out here.

We started something last night, and we're gonna finish it.

We were just borrowing it before bringing it back to the station.

We will.

We'll get a better view from the alley!

We're at the end of my window, Kate.

We're in Chicago, young lady.

We're trying to save Christmas.

We're with Santa and we need your help!

We're, like, a thousand miles away!

We've got ourselves an emergency situation here.

We've only got a little bit of North America left.

We've ruined Christmas!

Well, actually...[clicks tongue]

Well, Christmas came early this year, huh?

Well, Dave?

Well, even more reason for me to be at the hospital, honey.

Well, he's my, um...

Well, how do you think I can turn into coal dust

Well, I'm sorry the fashion designer thing didn't quite pan out.

Well, I've never had human helpers in the sleigh before...

Well, look at her and say it.

Well, maybe I can help Kate with presents, right?

Well, not by stealing a car.

Well, that ain't what it sounded like.

Well, that can never happen.

Well, that's sweet.

Well, that's, uh... That's my little buddy Hugg.

Well, there was that. [chuckles]

Well, this is the only way we're gonna make it,

Well, what did you guys do all ni

Well, what's it say?

Well, you don't wanna know what happened the last time I couldn't make my rounds.

Well...

Well...

Well... I mean, there's gotta be something we can do.

Wendy!

Were you just a little bit naughty last night?

Were you two just... hugging?

What are those two?

What are you doing with my camera?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you guys doing out here?

What are you talking about?

What can possibly be in that bag...

What did he do now?

What did Teddy do?

What did you do with my sack of presents?

What do I want?

What do I want?

What do we got here?

What he does. I

What if I forget everything that happened tonight?

What is that sound?

What is that thing?

What is that?

What is this?

What? [gasps]

What? The sleigh?

What's inside that bag?

What's that?

What's this man's relationship with you, Teddy?

What's your name?

Whatever.

Whatever.

When I need him?

When Mom sees this, she's gonna freak out!

Where are they now?

Where are we?

Where are you going?

Where are you?

Where did you get this?

Where is Santa Claus?

Where?

Where's the camera?

Which is why you're gonna stay home with your sister.

White Christmas?

Who cares? This camera's like 20 years old.

Who here can give us a ride into the city so I can find my reindeer?

Who you talking to?

Who?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa, whoa! You want some cookie with those sprinkles? Golly!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa! Christmas spirit is down to 19%?

Whoa! Gimme the camera!

Whoa! Slow your roll. Get back here.

Whoa.

Whoever it was

Whoo! [laughs]

Why are we even bothering with this fool?

Why are you c

Why did he have to go into that stupid fire?

Why must they keep drawing me like that?

Why would Mom and Dad leave her alone in the living room

Why?

Why? Because I'm not a big fat slob?

Why'd you do that?

Will we ever see you again?

Without it, well, Christmas simply...

Would it kill you to leave me alone for one minute?

Would've had to been standing flat up against the wall like this, next to the

Wow, you're really famous where I come from!

Yah! On, Dasher! On, Dancer! On, Prancer!

Yeah, but have you ever heard of anyone actually pulling it off?

Yeah, I did. [chuckles] Figured I'd cover all the bases.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, I wanted to go to Parsons and live in New York,

Yeah, I'm back!

Yeah, no, of course. I'll I'll be right there.

Yeah, sure, but...

Yeah, sure, but...

Yeah, the car's stolen, but we didn't steal it.

Yeah, well, billboards add 80 pounds, Freddie.

Yeah, well, Katie Cat, one man's junk...

Yeah, well, what my parole officer doesn't know won't hurt him.

Yeah, yeah, I got it.

Yeah, you did.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah! How many kids get to ride with Santa in his sleigh on Christmas Eve?

Yeah?

Yeah? How you plan on doing that?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Guess I kinda worked it out in the final hour.

Yes, we do. Tell us.

You are a Pierce, Teddy!

You are not to leave this house, young man!

You better watch out, you better not pout, and you better not cry.

You can do this. Go get 'em.

You can trust me.

You did what?

You do the entire world in one night all by yourself!

You don't look like Santa Claus.

You don't think anyone's thought of that before?

You evaded a police officer, not to mention child endangerment

You go after the reindeer.

You gotta work tonight?

You guys know where he is?

You guys! Turn around!

You have a good time with your friends?

You have to believe in yourself.

You haven't been caroling since you were in kindergarten, and you hated it.

You honestly don't remember, do you?

You just call out the addresses and the names,

You just gotta believe it, too.

You keep going, couple years, this could be you.

You keep going, couple years, this could be you.

You know how I know?

You know how it is,

You know what I want for Christmas?

You know what, Charlie?

You know what? Um... Here, take my tips.

You know what's serious, Dave?

You know who I am!

You know, I haven't been to church since he...

You know, the car's already stolen.

You know, the red one with the skeleton on it?

You know... at least they're fun.

You leave her alone again, and you are grounded!

You listen to me, Teddy Pierce.

You look so... um, different.

You see, after the sleigh crashed,

You stole a car.

You think I can pay the driver... with these?

You think it's inside the church?

You think it's inside the church?

You think you're a tough guy?

You two have really messed things up.

You two okay?

You used to laugh when I called you Teddy Bear,

You wanna spread some cheer?

You wanna spread some cheer?

You were supposed to be asleep.

You wrote Santa a letter?

You, on the other hand, might not be so lucky!

You're coming with us.

You're done.

You're going too fast!

You're gonna be here a while.

You're gonna be here a while.

You're her older brother. I expect more from you.

You're just saying that 'cause you wanna save Christmas.

You're not even old enough to drive!

You're not gonna believe it!

You're not such a total screw up.

You're not trading our Porsche for a baseball card, Larry!

You're right.

You've always just had to do one thing, Teddy.

You've heard of the Dark Ages?

Young boys and girls all over the globe are waiting, hoping,

Your hat?

Your sister?

2540 East 28th Street!

2547 East 26th Place!

"A Pierce always sees it through." That's right.

[all] Yeah! [laughs]

[bell chimes] [Dave gasps]

[bell dings] [Kate screams]

[bells jingle] ...Mickey Mantle rookie card?

[bells jingle] [gasps] All set, go!

[bells jingle] [group] Whoa!

[bells jingling] ...let's get this party started.

[both] Bing Bellamy! Ha!

[both] Yeah. [Mom chuckles]

[boy 2] Not too bad, man. [boy] Let's get outta here.

[boy] Dear Santa... [voices overlapping]

[brakes squeal] [grunts]

[breeze blows] [girl continues speaking Spanish]

[camcorder beeps] [indistinct chatter]

[cell door clangs shut] [sighs]

[cell phone clicks] [sighs]

[chimes] [whirs]

[chuckles softly] And just for you.

[chuckles softly] Hug it out? Yeah.

[chuckles] [grunts]

[continues laughing] Whoa!

[crowd yipping and yelling] [Kate] Guys?

[Dad] ♪ ...up ♪ [Mom] Seriously?Shh!

[Dad] ♪ O Christmas tree ♪ [Mom] Shh!

[Dad] Come here. [Kate] Come on.

[Dad] Hey, guys! Hey, come here. Look!

[Dad] Look at that! [Kate] Yay!

[Dad] Mm, cookies. [Mom] No! You've had enough, mister!

[Dad] What is this? What is this? [Mom] What are you doing?

[dashboard clicking] [Santa yells]

[Dave] Teddy! [Teddy] Kate!

[device beeping slowly] Ooh.

[device sizzles, whirs weakly] [Santa sighs]

[door rattling] [boy 2] Dude, hurry up.

[elf exclaims] [gasps]

[elf grumbles] [crowd mumbles]

[elf laughing] [man shrieks]

[elf whining] [teeth chattering]

[elf] Santa! [Teddy] Santa!

[elves chattering] Poor Santa. I'll bet he's freaking out.

[elves gasp] [mouth pops]

[elves laughing] [shouts]

[Elves speaking Elvish] [Kate] Guys! Let me go!

[elves yell] [hammer clanging]

[engine revs] [tires squeal]

[engine roars closer] [siren wails]

[engine roars] [tires squeal]

[engine starts, revs] [siren wailing]

[engine turns on] [boys cheer]

[engines roar] [police siren continues wailing]

[footsteps approaching] [chuckles]

[footsteps approaching] [chuckles]

[gasps and grunts] [patrons] Oh!

[gasps, thuds] [gasps]

[gasps] [laughs] Can you believe that?

[gasps] Are you okay?

[gasps] Merry Christmas 2007. [softly] Merry Christmas.

[giggles] [Mom] Happy snowman! [smooches]

[giggling and chattering] [man gasps and grunts]

[groans, yelps] [Teddy and Kate screaming]

[groans, yelps] [Teddy and Kate screaming]

[group mutters] Wow.

[hisses] [thieves scream]

[horn blares] [tires squeal]

[in Elvish] You lost the reindeer? [crying] Blitzen!

[in Elvish]Reporting for duty! [all]Reporting for duty!

[in English] No! [elves shout]

[Jameson] Let's go. Wait.

[Kate and Teddy scream] [Santa laughs]

[Kate and Teddy whooping and shouting] [bells jingling]

[Kate and Teddy] Merry Christmas. [Mom sighs]

[Kate, in English] What's wrong? We missed one!

[Kate] Being in the North Pole! The car chase with the cops!

[Kate] I love you, too. Merry Christmas.

[Kate] Stop! What the hell is going on?

[Kate] Take some. Go on! [reindeer snorts]

[Kate] Teddy? I was in the sky!

[Kate] We're really close! [Teddy] It's gotta be here!

[Kate] What's wrong? Nothing! God!

[Kate] You know who that looks like. [Teddy] Aunt Peggy.

[Larry and Santa groan] That's what it's worth!

[Lars chattering] [toys squeaking]

[laughing] We've been in enough crashes

[laughs] Oh!

[laughs] Santa! Sorry.

[laughs] Thank you, Santa.

[laughs] You know, Santa?

[laughs] Come on, Mom. I [Mom] No.

[laughs] I can't play this thing! Are you sure?

[laughs] What? You can't leave me alone in the house.

[man 1] I don't know, man. [man 2] We'll try. We'll try.

[man 2] The bag! [Teddy] Don't touch that!

[man 3] All right, man! [man 4] Yeah! That's cool, man!

[man grunting] [elves yelping]

[man] Here. You like it?

[man] Love it! [woman] Want me to do it?

[man] What am I looking at? [indistinct radio chatter]

[man] Yeah! [people chattering]

[man] Yeah. [man 2] You too!

[Mom screams, laughs] [Dad] ♪ Don't care if the kids wake up ♪

[Mom] Have two fish? No.

[Mom] Hi! [Dad] Hi!

[Mom] Hi! Hi, Mommy.

[Mom] Hi. [Dad] Is this true, honey?

[Mom] It's the exact one? [Kate] Yes!

[Mom] Look, look! She's eating it! [Kate] So cool!

[Mom] Merry Christmas! [all] Merry Christmas!

[Mom] Nice. [Kate chuckles]

[Mom] Oh! [Kate] Bones Brigade skateboard!

[Mom] Where? Me and my friends are going caroling.

[Mom] Yeah? [Kate] Good.

[mutters] [elves snore]

[panting] Oh! [handcuffs click]

[people chattering] [phone ringing]

[phone ringing] [siren wailing]

[rails screeching] They won't go up! What do I need to do?

[reindeer snort] [children gasp]

[Santa speaking Elvish] [camcorder beeps]

[Santa speaking Elvish] [reins snap]

[Santa] ♪ No sack on my back ♪ [women] ♪ Ah, ooh! ♪

[Santa] ♪ Turn out the light ♪ [women] ♪ Ah, ooh! ♪

[Santa] All right, now ease them down. [reindeer bellowing]

[Santa] Got it? [Kate] Got it.

[Santa] Sweet dreams, Charlie. [watch chimes]

[screams] [Comet panting]

[shouts] Hit that white button.

[shouts] Teddy! What?

[sighs] [watch ticking]

[sighs] This is proof!

[sighs] So, how was your night? [Teddy] You'll never believe it.

[sleigh bells ringing loudly] [whooshing]

[sleigh bells ringing] [reindeer snort]

[sleigh bells ringing] Huh? Ah.

[snorts] [chuckles softly]

[snorts] [Kate] Don't you want some?

[snorts] [Kate] You can trust me.

[Teddy grunting] [Kate] Teddy!

[Teddy grunts] [bag jingles]

[Teddy grunts] [sleigh creaks]

[Teddy, in English] Kate, are you okay? Better than okay!

[Teddy] But I think She said she can handle it, Teddy.

[Teddy] Gimme that now! Come on! No!

[Teddy] Kate! [Kate] Help me!

[Teddy] Kate? [bells ring]

[Teddy] Oh, this is yours. [Kate] This is yours.

[Teddy] Slow down! Wait! [both panting]

[Teddy] Wait up! [Kate] Hurry!

[Teddy] What the He's on the roof, let's go!

[Teddy] Yeah! [Kate] We did it!

[thieves clamoring] [elves cackling]

[watch ticking and chiming] [in English] We did it!

[watch ticks and chimes] Getting tight!

[woman on radio] ...disturbance... Cool!

[woman, in English] Well, Nick... [Santa] Hmm?

[woman] Everybody smile! What do we say?

[woman] Hey! [man] Get down!

[women] ♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪ [plays guitar solo]

[women] ♪ In town! ♪ [officers cheering]

[yells] [piano playing]

♪ 'Cause Santa Claus is back in town! ♪ [whoops]

♪ And the snow is fallin' on the ground ♪ [door opens]

♪ And the snow is fallin' on the ground ♪ [women] ♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

♪ And the snow is fallin' on the ground ♪ [women] ♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

♪ And the snow is fallin' on the ground ♪ [women] ♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

♪ And the snow is fallin' on the ground ♪ [women] ♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

♪ And the snow is fallin' on the ground ♪ ♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

♪ Christmas ♪ [Santa] Is there a piano in this joint?

♪ Got no sleigh with reindeer ♪ [women] ♪ Ah, ooh! ♪

♪ Hang up your pretty stockings ♪ [women] ♪ Ah, ooh! ♪

♪ It's Christmas time, pretty baby ♪ [woman sighs] So...

♪ Right down Santa Claus Lane ♪ [bells jingle]

852 Beechwood Street! [elf whoops]

a cab ride That's very kind of you,

A video? [Kate] Yeah!

Ah, yes! Okay. [chuckles] Did you get it?

All right, all right. [Kate] Comet, stop!

All right, this one's to... Ah!

All right, wave to Mom. Say "Hi, Mom." Hi, Mom!

Always sees it through! Yeah! [laughs]

Am I right, Santa? I hear you.

and took him a thousand miles from home? Wait.

And when we're finished, we'll just Turn it in to the police.

Answer what? [cell phone vibrating]

anytime you wanted, you could've just Shh.

Attaboy, Teddy! Hey!

Attaboy, Teddy! Hey!

Attach Comet's jingle bells! Get back here!

Aw. [elves chuckle]

Awesome! [chuckles softly]

Blitzen! [engines roar]

But I do believe in you! No, no, no! I'm not talking about me.

Come back here! [Santa] Find the elves!

Come on, man! Please! [bag jingles]

Come on, Teddy. You know it's him. Kate...

Dasher! [bells jingling]

Did he see us? I don't think so.

Eh? [echoes] Christmas must endure!

Epic! [chuckles] You mean epic disaster.

Everyone get together. A picture. All right, guys.

Fly, fly, fly! [bells jingling]

For me? Kate!

Get down. No way. Hand me the camera.

Get out of the car! You heard the man! Get out! Now!

Gimme it! [both grunting]

Give it back! You're gonna break it. [elf speaking Elvish]

Go. Welcome back.

Good luck! [bells jingle]

Gosh. [woman] It fits you.

Gotta take you to the station. Let's go. Wait! Look, it wasn't his fault.

Grandpa's a little... What are you doing?

Ha! [Kate] Help me, somebody!

Hang on. I think I can lose 'em! [grunts]

Hang tight and blend in! Come on! Let's go, let's go!

Hat! [Mom] Christmas 2017!

He says skateboards aren't for girls. [sighs]

He's at the back of the house! Get your coat!

He's at the back of the house! Get your coat!

Help me! [whispers] Teddy, here. Take this.

Here! [reindeer snort]

Hey! Get outta the car, man!

Hey! Oh, no time to argue! Look!

Hey! Mom said no junk food! Yeah, well, we gotta stay up somehow.

Hey! Where are you going? Just out.

Hey! Where are you going? Just out.

Hi, Angela. [Angela speaking indistinctly over phone]

Hi, Mommy! [laughs] Good job.

Hmm. [rattling]

Hold on. What?

How about a fish? You want a fish? [Dad] No, let's go with the reindeer.

How did you She left you a couple years ago,

How did you just I am the greatest toymaker on Earth.

How do you know my name? [chuckles] You got so big!

How much time we got? Three seconds.

I am not crazy! [man] Yes, you are.

I can I see that. [elf] Ow, ow!

I didn't steal a car. I saw the whole thing.

I don't mean to. That's okay, honey.

I don't want to. [Kate] But it's Christmas Eve!

I guess it's who you know. [Dave] Buddy,

I know. [Dad] I think I like it.

I like it. [ringtone plays]

I love you. I love you.

I mean, I saw the sleigh, the reindeer Where do you live, son?

I mean, technically, that's illegal, too. Fair point.

I think I kinda like sitting over here. [chuckles]

I want a reindeer! [Mom] You want a reindeer?

I'm Santa Claus.

I'm a little rusty! Relax! [Teddy] It's not that complicated!

I'm gonna go to my room. But it's Christmas Eve!

I'm Kate Pierce. [gasps]

I'm new at this! [Santa laughs]

Impressive. You can read a name tag. Unfortunately

Is this thing real? Oh, yes.

It just won't be Christmas without it! [Mom] Oh, honey.

It was all her idea! Hey!

It was! [Santa] Wait.

It's a deal. It's a deal. I thought so.

It's at the valet. No, it's not!

It's Christmas. [man] Come on.

It's gotta be around here somewhere. [Kate] Yeah...

It's pretty cool. Yeah, it is.

Jingle bells! [both grunt]

Jingle bells! [jingling loudly]

Just what we're looking for. [man 2] Not a joke.

Know what that is worth? What it's worth? Nothing!

Ladies... [both] Bye, Santa.

Let me go, and nobody gets hurt! [grunts]

Let them down! [hooves clicking]

Let's get the reindeer and the sleigh. The sleigh's busted.

Let's make it right. [laughs]

Lisa, hey! [Lisa speaking indistinctly on phone]

Magic. Wow!

Merry Christmas from the Pierce family! [Dad] ♪ Merry Christmas! ♪

Mommy doesn't really approve, okay. This is a big one! [clears throat]

My fish! Hope they're hungry.

No, it's not! You stole it! Get in, get in!

No, okay [whooshes, thuds]

No. [Wendy] Wait, what is this?

Not just one of those phony mall ones. I've got this.

of True Believers! [gasps]

Oh boy! Yes!

Oh, be careful, honey. [Dad] Get the camera.

Oh, gee. Well... [bells jingle]

Oh, is Christmas in trouble? Big trouble.

Okay, bye. [cell phone clicks]

Okay, fine! [sighs]

Okay, that's it! All right, out! Out, out, out, out!

Okay. Bye. [Dad] Okay.

Ooh! [elf speaking Elvish, yells]

Ooh! [women] ♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

Ow! Stop! It's mine! [Teddy] Come on, stop being such a baby!

Please? Not happening.

Put him in the dumpsters out back! [grunts]

Reach! I'm trying!

Reindeer fall under Animal Control. Give 'em a call!

Santa! [both scream]

Santa? Yeah?

saving Christmas ain't in your cards. Yeah, well, it's gonna be tight!

She doesn't wanna talk to me. Yes! Yes, she does!

She started it. Did not!

Should I continue? [Dave] No. No, that that's enough.

So cool. A knife. [Mom chuckles] What's it say?

so we really know it's you? I don't do "Ho ho ho."

So, you're gonna wear a helmet with this? Yes.

Sorry. Sometimes I forget. [sighs]

Step out of the car! You gotta be kidding.

Take a good look. [Kate] Okay.

Talking smack about me? [Kate] Let go! You're gonna break it!

Teddy and I are gonna buy you some time. What?

Teddy! Are you crazy?

Teddy... I could have swore I saw Paris!

Thank you, Santa. Thank you, Santa. [laughs]

Thanks. I think they should all be like that.

That means we're close! [Kate] Where do you think it is?

That way! Go! The, uh... The car can't fly, Santa.

The real Santa Claus! Yeah, that's okay, Kate.

The whole village is buzzing. [Santa] Mm.

There! On the corner! [Teddy grunts]

There's no chimney! Well, sometimes you gotta improvise!

They need to fly! [Dave] Hey!

They need to get up. [Dave] Come on!

They'll know what to do! [Kate] Teddy!

Tough guy over here. Oh yeah!

track down my reindeer. [Dave] No can do.

Try to be good. [group mumbles]

Uh, Teddy? That plane almost killed us!

Uh... [electric guitar music playing]

Up! Up! [Dave grunting]

Wait, wait, wait! [elf cackles]

way down. [man snores]

We gotta get out of here. [Santa] Jeff! I know

we lost the reindeer. [elves gasp]

We say... [all] Thank you, Aunt Peggy!

We should just head home. [Kate] Home?

Wendy, we've got a big problem. [laughs]

What am I supposed to do with this, man? Play it.

What did he say? All I heard was "jingle bells."

What has gotten into you? Okay, Santa, let's go!

What was your favorite part? Easy! Riding the reindeer!

What? [Kate] We forgot to get Mom a present.

What? [whooshes]

What? Come on!

What? So, he broke into your home?

What's wrong? [watch chiming]

Where did you go? [elf panting]

Where's Santa? [Santa] What's wrong?

Who? [Kate] Santa!

Whoo hoo! [Kate] Joe Frankel,

Why don't we just stay here? Stay here? In the sleigh?

Without Santa Claus! [sighs]

Wolfie! Dusty! [Wolfie] Huh?

Yeah, well, that ain't ever gonna happen. Yeah, I think maybe.

Yeah. [Teddy] That was awesome!

Yeah. Everything okay?

Yeah. How would you like to trade that Porsche

Yeah. It's Christmas Eve.

Yeah. It's Christmas Eve.

Yeah. Let's go.

You busted outta jail! First time for everything, Katie Cat!

You can do it. [panting]

You did it! [laughs] No! We did it!

You guys, guys! [Teddy] My turn!

You hear me? [smooches] Gotcha! Mom.

You're such a jerk! Come on! [grunts]

You're ten years old! Almost 11! So?

you've had a hard time believ Okay, sorry, folks!

Your ex wife. I know who Lisa is.

Yup, and I've got it all on... [camcorder beeping]

...skip this part.

'Cause you two guys were really good.

"Dear Santa, This is Teddy Pierce.

"Dear Teddy, I got your letter.

"You should always bring a spare, Nick!"

["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" playing]

["Please Come Home for Christmas" playing]

[airplane engines roar closer]

[alarm beeps]

[all chuckle softly]

[all exclaiming]

[all giggling]

[all laugh]

[all scream]

[all shout]

[all] Oh...

[all] Whoa!

[bag rattles and jingles]

[bar patron snoring]

[beeping rapidly]

[beeping]

[beeps]

[beeps]

[beeps]

[beeps]

[beeps]

[bell chimes]

[bell chimes]

[bell chimes]

[bellows softly]

[bells chime]

[bells chiming]

[bells jingle]

[bells jingle]

[bells jingling]

[bells jingling]

[both gasp]

[both gasp]

[both gasp]

[both grunt, panting]

[both grunting]

[both laughing]

[both screaming in slow motion]

[both] Hug it out.

[both] Merry Christmas!

[both] No.

[both] Oh.

[both] What?

[boy 2] A robot...

[boy 2] Let's go! Let's go!

[boy on tablet] You better run!

[boy] Come on, let's go.

[boy] Teddy, do your thing.

[brake clicks]

[brakes squeal]

[buzzing continues]

[camcorder beeps]

[camcorder beeps]

[camcorder beeps]

[camcorder beeps]

[camcorder beeps]

[camcorder beeps]

[camcorder clicks]

[camcorder whirring]

[car engine starts]

[cell door slams]

[cell phone clicks]

[chainsaw buzzes]

[chainsaw motor starts]

[Charlie] No, stop! Stop!

[children gasp]

[chimes jingling]

[chimes]

[chimes]

[chuckles softly]

[chuckles softly]

[chuckles softly]

[chuckles softly]

[chuckles softly]

[chuckles softly]

[chuckles softly] What's that?

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles] A guy goes to the gym every day,

[chuckles] All right, then, Santa Claus.

[chuckles] He did it.

[chuckles] Hope you like coal.

[chuckles] I

[chuckles] I expect to see your Spanish grades go up this year.

[chuckles] It's my job, Dave.

[chuckles] No, I  He's Santa Claus. That's...

[chuckles] No, we have way too much to do.

[chuckles] They're amazing, actually.

[chuckles] Well, well, well...

[chuckles] What?

[chuckles] Yeah, a car. But, I mean, this is... This is...

[chuckling] This does not look like a Christmas tree. It looks like

[church bell ringing]

[church choir singing "O Christmas Tree"]

[clanks]

[clears throat]

[clicks tongue] Oh!

[clicks tongue] Well...

[continues laughing]

[continues screaming]

[cries softly]

[crowd cheering]

[crowd gasps]

[crowd murmuring in Elvish]

[crunches]

[Dad] ♪ O Christmas tree ♪

[Dad] ♪ O Christmas tree O Christmas tree ♪

[Dad] ♪ O Christmas tree O Christmas tree... ♪

[Dad] Come here, baby.

[Dad] Is there any chance I can open a Christmas present early?

[Dad] Oh, really? Where are we gonna keep this reindeer?

[Dad] Oh.

[Dave sighs]

[Dave] Hey! Mikey, get the kid! I'm putting this guy in the car!

[Dave] What is your name, kid?

[Dave] You are under arrest for driving a stolen vehicle!

[device beeping rapidly]

[device beeping]

[device beeps]

[device whirs]

[door closes]

[echoing] Hello?

[echoing] Hello?

[echoing] Kate! Can you hear me?

[elf coughs]

[elf gasps]

[elf gasps] Ah...

[elf mutters, gasps]

[elf sighs]

[elf slurps]

[elf squealing]

[elves cheering and chattering]

[elves clamoring in elvish]

[elves exclaiming, laughing]

[elves gasp]

[elves groaning]

[elves grumble]

[elves grunting]

[elves laughing, speaking Elvish]

[elves laughing]

[elves panting]

[elves shouting]

[Elvis Presley's "Here Comes Santa Claus" playing]

[engine revs]

[engine revs]

[engine sputters]

[exhales deeply]

[exhales]

[exhales] You gotta be kidding me!

[footsteps pass upstairs]

[footsteps retreating]

[footsteps retreating]

[gasps softly]

[gasps, screams]

[gasps, speaking Spanish]

[gasps]

[gasps]

[gasps]

[gasps]

[gasps]

[gasps]

[gasps]

[gasps]

[gasps] "Christmas must endure."

[gasps] Oh my!

[gasps] Oh no!

[gasps] Oh, you really have no clue, do you?

[gasps] Wait, so... this whole night,

[girl] And a really cool pair of awesome sunglasses.

[glass shatters]

[groans]

[groans]

[groans]

[groans]

[groans]

[grunting and yelping] Help!

[grunts softly]

[grunts, sighs]

[grunts, yells in Elvish]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts] Eh?

[grunts] Ow!

[horn grows louder]

[horn honks]

[Hugg grunts]

[Hugg laughing, grunts]

[Hugg speaking Elvish]

[Hugg speaking Elvish]

[in Elvish] Get him!

[in Elvish] Hunter and Connor Morris. They live on 4433 Pacific Avenue!

[in Elvish] I knew it.

[in Elvish] I never have any fun.

[in Elvish] I told you, no food or drinks in the sleigh!

[in Elvish] It's not good.

[in Elvish] Looking good, Lars!

[in Elvish] Pierce.

[in Elvish] Santa!

[in Elvish] She is a True Believer!

[in Elvish] Slow down! Slow down!

[in Elvish] Sounds like you had quite the night.

[in Elvish] Start talking!

[in Elvish] Start talking!

[in Elvish] Time to take out the trash.

[in Elvish] To the book!

[in Elvish] Welcome to the club!

[in Elvish] You're done! Naughty! Naughty!

[in English] And I speak English, you moron.

[in English] And then the reindeer just... Boom! They just flew away!

[in English] But, I did get to speak a lot of English last night!

[in English] Cool! Now we just need to find Santa!

[in English] Hey, Santa! I just spoke Elvish!

[in English] Let me explain what happened!

[in English] Let's go to work. Whoa! No, no, no, no, no, no!

[in English] My family tree.

[in English] No!

[in English] Positions!

[in English] Santa Claus told me to find you guys!

[in English] True Believers?

[in English] Vijay! Beena!

[in English] Well, guys. It's been great jamming with you.

[in Hindi] You guys have a car you can lend me?

[in Korean] Can you help?

[inaudible]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct radio chatter]

[instrumental music playing]

[jingles]

[jingling]

[jingling]

[Kate continues screaming]

[Kate continues screaming]

[Kate exclaims]

[Kate grunts]

[Kate screams]

[Kate screams]

[Kate whoops]

[Kate, in English] He's in jail?

[Kate, in English] Ryder Robinson!

[Kate, softly] I miss you, Daddy.

[Kate] And you're so busted!

[Kate] Come back!

[Kate] Come on!

[Kate] Hey, guys.

[Kate] Hey, let me go! Guys, let me go!

[Kate] I don't see him!

[Kate] I know I haven't been doing too well in school,

[Kate] I wouldn't waste my time getting him any presents.

[Kate] It's just a candy cane.

[Kate] It's mine! Give it back!

[Kate] Melanie Hong, 845 Landers Street!

[Kate] Wait, Santa!

[Kate] Whoa!

[Kate] Yeah!

[Kate] Yeah!

[Kate] Yeah.

[Kate] You guys! There There they are!

[Lars] Uh oh.

[laughing]

[laughs, in Elvish] Are you kidding?

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] Ah!

[laughs] Did you really think he was gonna let us keep it?

[laughs] Look at the two of you, all grown up!

[laughs] Now I know you're out of your tree.

[laughs] Now, ladies...

[laughs] Oh, I've seen you drive!

[laughs] Perfect four point landing! And we beat your mom home, too!

[laughs] Trading in eight reindeer for 400 horses!

[laughs] Well, I can.

[laughs] What was I thinking, Mr... uh... You know what? We never got your name.

[laughs] Whoo hoo!

[lock clicks]

[loudly] Santa?

[machine grinding]

[machinery clanks]

[man 2 on radio] Attention, we have sightings

[man 2] Put him in the car!

[man grunts]

[man on radio] All units, we have a reported grand theft auto.

[man on speaker] Hands outside the vehicle!

[man over speaker] Get out of the vehicle.

[man screams, groans]

[man screams, grunts, groans]

[man screams]

[man shrieks]

[man sighs] Okay, here we go. I think it's all set.

[man, in English] Let's get outta here!

[men groan]

[Mom laughs]

[Mom sighs]

[Mom sighs]

[Mom sighs] Where are you going? Wait. Honey...

[Mom whispers] You're gonna wake up the kids!

[Mom] Ah!

[Mom] Seriously?

[Mom] That's awesome.

[Mrs. Claus] Do you want to watch a movie?

[muffled] Hello?

[mumbling] All right...

[orchestra music playing]

[orchestra music playing]

[orchestra playing]

[panting]

[panting]

[panting] Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Peggy] You look great.

[pipe rattles]

[plastic crinkles]

[plays bluesy tune]

[police siren wails]

[reindeer bellow]

[reindeer bellowing]

[reindeer bellowing]

[reindeer bellows softly]

[reindeer grunting]

[reindeer panting]

[reins snapping]

[reins snapping]

[roof creaks]

[Santa and Kate scream]

[Santa exclaims] Don't be afraid! Don't be afraid.

[Santa groans, speaking Elvish]

[Santa groans]

[Santa groans]

[Santa grunts, shouts]

[Santa grunts]

[Santa grunts]

[Santa grunts]

[Santa shouts in Elvish]

[Santa shouts]

[Santa speaking Elvish, grunts]

[Santa speaking Elvish]

[Santa] ♪ It's Christmastime, pretty baby ♪

[Santa] ♪ Santa Claus is coming Down your chimney tonight ♪

[Santa] ♪ Well, it's Christmastime, pretty baby ♪

[Santa] ♪ Well, you've been A real good little baby ♪

[Santa] ♪ Well, you've been A real good little baby ♪

[Santa] ♪ Well, you've been A real good little girl ♪

[Santa] ♪ You're gonna see me coming In a big black Cadillac! ♪

[Santa] Ah! [grunts]

[Santa] All right, all right. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm driving! I'm Dude! Out!

[Santa] All right, guys! This is it! Last city!

[Santa] Come on!

[Santa] Kate, come on.

[Santa] Let's go!

[Santa] Magic!

[Santa] Oh no. [sighs, scoffs] Oh...

[Santa] One more thing!

[Santa] That's good.

[Santa] Yeah! I'm back!

[scoffs]

[scoffs]

[scoffs]

[scoffs] You two are on the naughty list for life.

[screams, gasps]

[screams]

[seat belt clicks]

[shivers, whispers] It's freezing.

[shouting in Elvish]

[shouting]

[shouts] Hey! You three! Out!

[shouts] Teddy? Teddy?

[shouts] Who's crazy now? [laughs] I quit!

[shouts] Will you please stop this?

[shrieks]

[sighs, in Elvish] Wait. We missed one.

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs] Dear Santa, this is Kate Pierce.

[sighs] Fine.

[sighs] I can't believe this! She told me,

[sighs] Isn't there someone else that can...

[sighs] Larry and Sheila Bumperton.

[sighs] Listen, Santa.

[sighs] Still works.

[sighs] That just really happened.

[sighs] That's a shame.

[sighs] We've only got less than an hour before the sun rises.

[siren wailing]

[sirens wailing]

[sleigh bells jingle]

[sleigh bells jingling]

[sleigh bells jingling]

[sleigh bells jingling]

[sleigh bells jingling]

[sleigh bells jingling]

[sleigh bells jingling]

[sleigh bells ringing]

[sleigh bells ringing]

[sleigh bells ringing]

[sleigh rattles]

[sleigh roars]

[sleigh whirs, dings]

[sniffles]

[sniffles]

[sniffs]

[sniffs]

[sniffs] Ah!

[softly] Mm hmm.

[softly] Okay.

[softly] Whoa! [gasps]

[speaking Elvish]

[speaking Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

[stammers] Wait a minute.

[stammers] You You want me to drive... that?

[static buzzes]

[tearfully] We ruined Christmas!

[tearfully] You know what I want for Christmas?

[Teddy and Kate groan, sigh]

[Teddy grunts]

[Teddy panting, grunts]

[Teddy panting]

[Teddy panting] Be careful!

[Teddy sighs]

[Teddy sighs] Kate. [clears throat]

[Teddy] All right, come on. Right this way.

[Teddy] Did you see that? It's Santa Claus!

[Teddy] Grab my hand!

[Teddy] I can't control them! [grunts] Santa, this isn't funny!

[Teddy] Listen, guys.

[Teddy] No, you're not.

[Teddy] No! [screams]

[Teddy] No.

[Teddy] No.

[Teddy] No.

[Teddy] Oh, my God! It's an automatic!

[Teddy] Seriously?

[Teddy] Slow down, dude.

[Teddy] We're really close.

[Teddy] What?

[Teddy] You got this, Kate!

[Teddy] You're kidding, right?

[thieves screaming]

[ticking]

[ticking]

[ticking]

[ticking]

[ticks, beeps]

[tires screech]

[tires squeal]

[tires squeal]

[tires squeal]

[tires squeal]

[toy beeping]

[toy whirring]

[train horn blares]

[train whistle blows]

[voice shaking] He had a wife... and two kids, and he gave it all up...

[voices overlapping]

[watch ticking]

[whimpers]

[whispers] Hang in there. He's gonna go back down again.

[whispers] He's here!

[whispers] Teddy. Teddy, come here.

[whistles, clicks tongue, whistles]

[whistles] Blitzen!

[whoops]

[whooshes]

[whooshes]

[whooshes]

[whooshes]

[whooshes]

[whooshes]

[whooshes]

[whooshing rapidly]

[whooshing]

[whooshing]

[wind whipping]

[woman] Are you locking me up on Christmas Eve? [scoffs]

[woman] Oh! I heard!

[woman] Something about a... car chase and a... jailbreak?

[woman] Teddy, you like your new fire truck?

[women vocalizing]

[women vocalizing]

[women] ♪ Ah, ooh! ♪

[women] ♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

[women] ♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

[women] ♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

[women] ♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

[women] ♪ Christmas... ♪

[women] ♪ In town ♪

[yells]

[yelps, grunting]

♪ 'Cause Santa Claus is back in town ♪

♪ 'Cause Santa Claus is back in town ♪

♪ 'Cause Santa Claus is back in town ♪

♪ 'Cause Santa Claus is back in town ♪

♪ 'Cause Santa Claus is back in town ♪

♪ 'Cause Santa Claus is back in town ♪

♪ 'Cause Santa Claus is back in town ♪

♪ Ah, ooh! ♪

♪ And the snow is fallin' on the ground ♪

♪ And the snow is fallin' on the ground ♪

♪ And the snow is fallin' on the ground ♪

♪ Christmas ♪

♪ Christmas ♪

♪ Christmas ♪

♪ Christmas tree ♪

♪ Christmas tree ♪

♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

♪ Got no sleigh with reindeer ♪

♪ Hang up your pretty stockings ♪

♪ Here comes Santa Claus Here comes Santa Claus ♪

♪ How lovely are thy branches ♪

♪ How lovely are your branches ♪

♪ No sack on my back ♪

♪ Not only green when summer's here ♪

♪ Not only green when summer's here ♪

♪ O Christmas tree ♪

♪ Oh, what a Christmas ♪

♪ Santa Claus is comin' Down your chimney tonight! ♪

♪ The sad, sad news ♪

♪ To have the blues... ♪

♪ Turn out the light ♪

♪ Vixen and Blitzen ♪

♪ Well, it's Christmastime, pretty baby ♪

♪ Well, it's Christmastime, pretty baby ♪

♪ Well, it's Christmastime, pretty baby ♪

♪ Well, it's Christmastime, pretty baby ♪

♪ Well, you've been A real good little baby ♪

♪ Well, you've been A real good little baby ♪

♪ Well, you've been A real good little baby ♪

♪ Well, you've been A real good little baby ♪

♪ Well, you've been A real good little girl ♪

♪ Whoa, it's Christmastime, pretty baby ♪

♪ Whoa, it's Christmastime, pretty baby ♪

♪ Yeah, it's Christmastime, pretty baby ♪

♪ You gonna see me coming In a big black Cadillac! ♪

♪Bells will be ringing ♪