United States of Al (2021) - Season 1 Edit

A '63 Corvette Stingray. Mint condition.

A 14 day moon?

A bird?Birds are great.

A car like that since I was a child.

A circle with three smaller circles.

A circle.Excellent!

A couple of mai tais, it's my dream vacation.

A couple talks to each other.Hmm.

A different conversation.

A dog's tongue is cleaner than a human's.

A few weeks.Ooh.

A few words. And I do mean "a few."

A fistful of grasshoppers.

A girlfriend maybe?

A hundred die from coconuts falling out of trees.

A little bit of that.Ah.

A little of that.

A little, but we really like a game called buzkashi.

A man as wonderful as Mr. Art should have a loving partner.

A men's clothing store. He'll hook you up.

A million women could not fill it.

A perfectly normal handkerchief.

A shoulder to cry on.

A slideshow and a bunch of really old guys

A small dog the size of an ant will grow inside her stomach.

A spark? What does a spark have to do with anything?

A state and a river

A testament to your love.

A webcam so I can watch him sleep.

A welcome.

A wheel of cheese?

A woman from Franklinton just ordered ravioli

A, small town speed traps,

Aah! [mutters]

About being on leave in Thailand.

About Freddy earlier. I just...

About how nobody wants to hang out with you

About ordering a pizza?

About sleeping with Paul Newman

About that.

About your brother.

Absolutely not. He loved you.

Absolutely, Paula.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

According to Shawn, "bag boy" is demeaning.

Actually, I am your neighbor and my name is Al.

Actually... no.

Affect even the toughest guys.

Afghanistan.

Afghanistanish?

After dinner, it would be my honor to take you for a drive.

After he died, his mom gave them to me.

After I asked you to fix the damn chimney!

After Lieutenant General Chesty Puller.

After they wheeled him out of the operating room,

After we get your family over here.

After which you'll both say

After you. You are the elder.

Again, why?

Ah, ah! I mean it.

Ah, but it's been a while.

Ah, damn it.

Ah, damn.

Ah, don't cry. I...

Ah, Freddy is just showing us

Ah, geez, you're writing in cursive?

Ah, geez.

Ah, Hazelnut.

Ah, I don't know.

Ah, I hate those dog and pony shows.

Ah, I see that you have the rug I sent you.

Ah, I should go second.

Ah, in a way that makes you sad

Ah, Lizzie, do you have a minute?

Ah, Lizzie, hey, look at me, look at me.

Ah, nothing.

Ah, of course.

Ah, she is causing my family so much stress.

Ah, sis, long time.

Ah, thank you for dinner,

Ah, that's explains why it's stupid.

Ah, there you are.

Ah, there's nothing to know.

Ah, what's going on?

Ah, you made it home.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. I was looking for this.

Ah. I'm kicking myself we didn't stop

Ah. Let us see.

Ah. Mm.

Ah. Moi aussi.I can learn French.

Ah...

Ah.Are you ready?

Ah.I was good at it.

Aha.

Al and I have been doing a little recon,

Al and that lady sitting in a tree...

Al asked me if I was dating Freddy,

Al thinks she's spoiled.

Al was just standing up for himself.

Al,

Al, can you watch Hazel?

Al, come meet Freddy.

Al, do you know where my dad is?

Al, don't be weird.

Al, I don't want to put you in the middle of our problems.

Al, I lived with you for years, and never saw you pray.

Al, I screwed up.

Al, I think you might be overreacting about that dog.

Al, meet Holly.Hey, Al.

Al, over here! Aah!

Al, relax. This is a sweet little dog.

Al, sit on Tater's back.

Al, the point is don't feel bad.

Al, you got three more to go.

AL: Ah.So happy to meet you.

AL: No, no, no, Mr. Art.

AL: Oh.

AL: So,

AL: Uh, could you please come out?

Al?

Al's here?Hello, Tater.

Al's mom used to make it for us.

Al's sad.

Alhamdulillah.

Alhamdulillah.

All by yourselves?

All he had to do was show me he wanted to be a part

All of them.

All of what?

All right, Al, I'm gonna draw you something,

All right, all right.

All right, dinner.

All right, falafel isn't Afghan food.

All right, fine.

All right, go ahead. Get on out of here.

All right, here we go.

All right, I did a bunch of dumb things for no reason.

All right, I want to make a toast to Lizzie and Michael.

All right, I'm checking out.

All right, I've kept you up long enough.

All right, let me get you a beer.

All right, let us say in a perfect world he is gone.

All right, let's go home.

All right, let's take a look.

All right, Lizzie's making some signs for us to put up.

All right, me going to the V.A.

All right, Private, let's see you set up this tent.

All right, Riley, uh, try turning it over.

All right, rotisserie chicken, eight even.

All right, step into my office.

All right, suit yourself.

All right, sure. I'll give it a try.

All right, take care, buddy.

All right, that's enough.

All right, that's it. Come with me.

All right, that's not my fault.

All right, then let's stop for me.

All right, wait up.

All right, we're done talking.

All right, well, I know you're not gonna want to hear this, but

All right, well...

All right, why don't you put it in drive.

All right? One way or another, we'll get 'em out.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Come on.

All right. Get out.

All right. Great job, Hazelnut.

All right. Then, Riley,

All right. Well, what if she didn't?

All right. You don't have to get weird.

All right. You go to sleep. I'll be right back.

All righty. Hazel, how was school?

All that love and gratitude.

All that time he was with me...

All that time over there...

All the great things I've done.

All these thoughts keep coming through my mind.

All this for tinnitus?

All we found is garbage.

ALL: Wow!

Allahu Akbar.

Allahu Akbar.

Allahu...

Allahu...Put in a good word for me.

Almost every monster that Afghanistan faces

Along with supporting statements,

Also as usual.

Also very tasty.

Also, my memoir will be much longer

Although it's a little wonky over there.

Always.

Am I a bad person because I don't want them to find him?

Amazing.

Amen.

Amen.

And a lot of times they did.

And a rule for safe driving that you never follow.

And a titanium screw in my shoulder.

And Al was the one who lost his temper?

And all I got was Real Housewives of Toronto.

And all you have to show for it is a mysterious rash.

And always think you're right.

And anything we needed, they gave us.

And apply them to scholarships for Afghan women.

And asked my permission to marry you.

And before we introduce tonight's honorees,

And bring them back, I would.

And brought me to America.

And brought the other home to us.

And care for you

And did you go hungry?

And do not try to show him naked women.

And do something for you.Oh!

And do whatever it takes to get her back.

And don't eat more than three or four peaches at a time.

And don't worry, I'll cover the loss.

And eat his rice pudding.

And even then, there are some work arounds.

And forever is how long you're gonna wait.

And gave them to my cousin Mirwais,

And get you a sleeping pill?

And give 'em a piece of my mind.

And had the most beautiful laugh.

And he could be getting a check

And he doesn't come back? I'd like to play that game.

And he gave it to my other cousin Mirwais,

And he has the stones to tell me it's a different drill,

And he still is.

And he will shake your hand.

And her twin sister is a chiropractor.

And here's a page of hobbies.

And his arrogance will get him sent him straight to hell.

And how his pinky points left.

And I am looking forward to taking part in your big day.

And I am not ashamed of what I did.

And I am your secret weapon.

And I bet you enjoyed every bite of it.

And I cannot.

And I could never tell anyone where I lived

And I could see them.But you're wearing shorts.

And I do not feel guilty about it.

And I do not understand this.

And I don't have to talk to people.

And I feel sorry for the both of you.

And I had to be brave and not cry so he wouldn't be sad.

And I hate it, too.

And I haven't heard from them in two days.

And I hope one day you'll see that.

And I know he doesn't like to be called a hero,

And I know I probably should have told you

And I know that that sounds small, but under the Taliban,

And I need to contribute to this family, too.

And I only know a few phrases.

And I respect your point of view, but

And I said yes.

And I spent years fighting them.

And I thought prayer would help.

And I want to seeeverything.

And I was right not to trust him.

And I went to the party and then

And I'd wake up and be sad.

And I'll never be good enough to make the team.

And I'm happy to help.

And I'm not having any problem making payments.

And if the police approach and ask me how I'm related to her,

And if you get tired of them, you can eat them.

And in Afghanistan, a father never pays his children.

And in that moment,

And include pencil etchings.

And it was different than a movie.

And it was so scared, and then Dad runs out there

And it's definitely not Hazel's fault.

And it's gonna work?

And it's not looking like I'm gonna make

And just have, like, a million babies.

And let him be the master of his own destiny.

And let it fall into your face.

And let the chemicals do the magic.

And Lizzie can write it off.

And long sleeves around the house.

And look how everyone stopsfor the red light.

And lost her fiancé's dog tags.

And lovely woman named Tina Haggerty.

And Marines don't retreat.

And months of wasted effort.

And my car smells like the food court at the mall.

And my father poured us each a little bit.

And my worst habit was leaving my keys in the front door.

And neither did the manager at the store when I asked him.

And next is my sister Hassina. So smart.

And no military jargon, no fist bumping,

And no one is on Facebook.

And now Hazel's a fan, and you're a fan.

And now he's bunking with me in the garage.

And now one with me.

And now that I have a car,

And now they're handing the country

And now with Mr. Art.

And now, if you will allow me, a song.

And old Bertha here can see in the dark.

And on Fridays, I would fly a white kite

And open a store that sold tables,

And our credit cards aren't all...It is a perfect world!

And our vehicle got stuck in a riverbed.

And pay my respects to your honorable father.

And perhaps I was being unfair to myself.

And point your camera around the house?

And Riley, he's still figuring it out.

And saying sorry will fix everything.

And scoops him up in his jacket.

And share some rice pudding.

And shared interests.Good shared interests.

And she couldn't get ahold of me.

And she doesn't get the shots,

And smooth things out.Not a chance.

And sometimes...

And speaking of needing blessings...

And stop doing these exercises.

And talk about you guys behind your backs.

And tell 'em to mow their lawn.

And tequila last night.

And terrorize the streets at night.

And thank you for welcoming me into your home.

And that is a double standard.

And that is what the Taliban called us, "the eyes."

And that's awful, but you made a choice to help them.

And that's not even the mental health stuff.

And that's Vin Diesel's body.

And the child is right.

And the jam is pumping...

And the kind of woman he fancies.

And the money we raise is gonna help men like Al

And the mountains in the city

And the people in Kandahar call us Kabulis.

And the receipt from the deli's in the bag.

And the rest were for just being a lousy driver.

And the strip club burned down.

And the way they got it so low

And their chirping used to wake me up in the morning.

And then claimed he didn't.

And then find a kid and send them to get her number.

And then he came home and he moved out again.

And then he just left.

And then he shipped it to me after he drove back home.

And then I get ice cream?

And then I ghost her.

And then I kinda went down a rabbit hole.

And then I would talk to her on the phone for about six months,

And then I'm gonna get you back.

And then pull out. Forward.

And then stupid Holly took my keys.

And then two hours to Columbus, so yes,

And then when you got up there,

And then, once I earned her trust, ah...

And they got a little boy your age

And they smelled like coconuts.

And this clown is miming the drum solo

And this dog runs out into the middle

And this is Ted Begley.

And this is the one you chose?

And this is where we'll bunk.

And this new recruit tells me he has to go to the bathroom.

And told her that some of her clothes

And try to keep your message optimistic.

And we both know that's not true.

And we could see a ridge nearby

And we got a couple of hard targets.

And we need to unstick him.

And we put up signs so if they were looking for him,

And what's the nameof that place

And whatever happens, happens.

And when they show up for him, she's gonna be devastated.

And where's that, exactly?

And while that was very charitable of you,

And who kept telling me I had to keep going?

And whose fault is that?

And why would I do that?

And wishes he could be back with his beloved wife.

And with repairs and upkeep on a used car,

And you add some water.

And you always knew what to do.

And you and me

And you are acting like helping them is an annoyance.

And you are going to invite him in

And you assured me, "No, Riley,

And you can smell it everywhere.

And you can take baby home.

And you cannot go to your mom or dad,

And you chase a mirage every night.

And you couldn't start with the noon prayer?

And you have to guess what it is.

And you know many jokes.

And you know, there's an even bigger pothole

And you let her do this?

And you wanted to go off that high dive at the pool?

And you will hear all of them.

And you'll never know what might happen if you don't try.

And you'll never know what she went through.

And you're such a catch, Dad.

And you're the ones in the car with me.

And you've never been this far from home.

And your name is Awalmir Karimi."

And, no...

And, oh, my God, why am I talking about potholes?

And?

And...

Any kind I wanted.

Any left?

Any more. I got you two knuckleheads to worry about.

Any pudding really.

Any time you need a car, come on down.

Anyhoo.

Anyway,

Anyway, I'll let you guys talk.

Anyway, just tell her to call me.

Anyway, we have to be very quiet.

Apparently there was a tornado in Oklahoma

Apparently, I already pushed you once.

Apparently, you weren't missed.

Are gonna try and set your dad up?

Are the mark of experience and wisdom.

Are those still good?

Are we doing this?

Are we the two luckiest guys in the world or what?

Are you asleep?

Are you Awa...

Are you dizzy?Eh, maybe a little.

Are you doing this to get me to stop worrying about my family?

Are you dumb?

Are you gonna cry when you see him?

Are you here to fix the TV?

Are you hiring here?

Are you homesick?AL: Oh, no.

Are you hungry yet?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? I've been trying

Are you kidding?

Are you Muslim or you *******?

Are you not listening to me?

Are you praying?

Are you ready?

Are you saying I'm wrong?

Are you scared?

Are you sure it's their dog?

Are you sure it's your dad who you're worried about?

Are you sure nothing's wrong?

Are you sure you want him at your party?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Are you tryingto make me homesick?

Aren't we dainty little flowers?

Aren't you gonna ask me what I want?

Ariana Jaan...

Ariana, what's wrong? What did I say?

ART: Damn!

ART: Morons!Good luck.

ART: Okay, here's how it works.

Arthritis in the knees,

As a sign of respect.

As all the houses turn their lights on.

As are we all, Hazel.

As are we all.

As are you.

As long as he's there

As long as we keep the focus on that.

As much as that guy liked strangling.

As soon as I get my driver's license,

As the youngest,

As usual, your father is right.

As when you were a young man.

As you can see, this mountain is too tall to climb.

As you were.

As you wish.

As your godfather,

Aspirin.

At 3:00 a.m., so that's when I wake up and celebrate.

At dinner you said I was a hypocrite.

At least he could be getting a disability check from the V.A.

At least I can fear for my family

At least she helps me around the house.

At least take a look at what we found.

At least tell me why you won't apply for disability.

At one time or another, all kids are lonely.

At the sticker price, that's the sucker price.

At this point in the evening, it is bedtime

At Vanessa's.

Auntie Barbara's all alone.

Aw, but Holly's not out of booze yet.

Aw, damn it.

Aw, hey, give me some.

Aw, it's like sweet bread.

Aw, it's okay.

Aw, Mashallah.

Aw, nuts.

Aw, sweetie.

Aw.

Aw. I've known you both for so long

Aw. You're the best almost ex wife ever.

Aw...

Awal...

Awalmir has just arrived from Kabul.

Awalmir,

Awalmir, but my friends call me "Al."

Awalmir, this is Gunnery Sergeant Lisa Patterson.

Awalmir. Did I say that right?

Awesome.

Awesome. Even though everybody's mad at me for being a great dad.

Awesome. Where is this place?

B 9. B 9.

B, fatigue, C...

Baby got to go potty.

Back down from a challenge?

Back home, an old woman would never live by herself.

Back home, I would watch her from afar for a few days

Back to the Taliban and walking away.

Bad dreams are God's way of getting you ready for the world.

Bad news?

Bad people. Who do you think?

Banging on your door, it's well named.

Bar opens at 1700 hours, buffet at 1730.

Barbara Anderson, glowing like a 14 day moon.

Barbara Anderson, it is my pleasure

Barbara Anderson.

Barbara has to go home and feed her cats.

Barbara, I have tragic news.

Barefoot?

Based on everything you know about me,

Be careful.

Bear repellent or something.

Beautiful color.

Because as your godfather, it is my job to make sure

Because barbers are a rip off.

Because I injured it in Grenada.

Because I know how to be grateful for what I have.

Because I will lose!

Because I'm a man.

Because it's the right thing to do.

Because she's good with numbers.

Because the Taliban were hunting me.

Because there is nothing funny about

Because you filled my belly with tea and lies.

Because you have not taught her.

Because you know more than the doctor.

Because you're a man?Yes, thank you.

Because, Hazel, that was the only bed

Been doing it since I could reach the pedals.

Beep equals metal.

Before the pizza and birthday cake.

Before we get to the main event,

Behind a bush, where he makes so much noise,

Behold,

Being a single mom was really tough.Oh, come on.

Believe it or not, with AM radio.

Bend that sapling, bro.

Bertha, we need your help.

Bertha's my metal detector.

Bingo what?Bingo, bingo.

Bingo!

Blue, black, orange, white.

Bob and Jill Munson.

Both her adult kids are still living with her.

Both my legs are broken.

Both of you know that.

BOTH: Happy birthday!

BOTH: Marines to exemplify the ultimate

BOTH: Oorah!

Bottle cap.

Boy, does he. Did you ever try to fold his T shirts?

Boy, if you could sell him on a helicopter pad,

Boy, that is feeble.

Boy, that's a good question.

Boy, you're adorable.

Boy. You must be missing home.

Boys medium?

Brave and stupid. Sounds like my brother.

Breaking beer bottles with a hammer.

Bring something legal.

Brings out the best in everyone.

Brought me a box of steaks.

Buddy, she does not listen to me.

Bunch of Americans show up, pitch some tents,

Buro gumsho. Get out of here.

But also because I want an Olympic medal,

But also sad. Hmm.

But are you sure you can afford this?

But buying a car in this country is different.

But doesn't "want anything from her"

But don't tell my mother that.

But every family has a black sheep.

But he has always been so proud of being a Marine.

But he never visits or calls.

But he was with you over here.

But he went through some stuff I didn't.

But he would want to be with you every day if he could.

But he's all dressed up and just a phone call away.

But he's always there to listen whenever she's got a "problem"

But he's being stubborn.

But how can you resist his cute little face?

But I am sure it is very competitive.

But I am too old to have a birthday party.

But I do like you.

But I do need to wrap this up.

But I do not agree with the way you are parenting your daughter.

But I do think he deserves to be happy.

But I don't think I ever realized

But I don't think it's cool for us to say that to him.

But I have also seen the mood swings and the drinking.

But I just call butter.

But I kind of wonder if that's the right word.

But I know he still loves you very much.

But I know it wasn't yesterday.

But I needed that bucket.

But I said theygot one wrong.

But I sense they are funny.Yeah.

But I think it was easier to be in Afghanistan,

But I want to hear more about Afghanistan.

But I want you to understand,

But I will make this right.

But I'm not going to.

But I'm sure she could love a different animal.

But I've been so nice to the jerk.

But if ever you have a problem

But if I ever go to Afghanistan,

But if there's anything I can do...

But if we do this, I don't want to see,

But if you ever serve my Uncle Dawood black tea,

But instead of praying, you just complained.

But it doesn't really help anybody.

But it has no taste.

But it is what's gonna happen.

But it looks very nice.

But it's different.How?

But it's for a good cause.

But it's just sitting there.

But just in case,

But my camera's broken.

But no one is answering their phone

But none of it's true.

But not how to buy a car.

But not in Ohio, which is why I sell cars here.

But not me.

But nothing today.

But now...

But of course we're not on the project anymore.

But once it gets a taste, it will bite your face off.

But one thing.

But otherwise you heard right.

But our breakup was really tough on her.

But people like me and my family back home now deal with

But Riley has a very short attention span.

But seeing a woman wearing them is.

But she does make your favorite kind of salad.

But she was born here.

But she's doing okay?

But she's one girl, okay?

But so worth it.

But some of us thought that if we joined as interpreters,

But that's a fun story for you to tell at our wedding.

But the first time someone shot at you,

But the interpreters who don't have a friend like him...

But the people seem lonely here.

But the valley they were in

But then I moved on up to selling green onions

But there is nothingin the Koran

But they want more.

But this is not one of those times.

But this is your grandfather's house.

But we add cardamom, pine nuts, rosewater and raisins.

But we did the heavy lifting.

But we do now.

But we want the extended warranty.

But what kind of circle?

But whatever.

But when it comes to Hazel, you should listen to her.

But while Riley was fighting

But with any luck,

But you can have the chicken for five bucks

But you can't be a hero and fix this.

But you can't. All you can do is go to the fundraiser...

But you did not let them.

But you get a check every month for your ankle?

But you got to keep your powder dry.

But you guys are fired.

But you had to go to the other manager and talk to him.

But you loved that motorcycle.

But you missed her when you were on base?

But you will find that out

But you will walk barefoot

But you're welcome to talk

But your dad knew if our truck got into enemy hands,

But, yeah, you can't come.

But?

But...

Buy it back for the price you sold it to him.

By accident. I'm sure it's not broken.

By giving him a handout,

By providing me with a home.

By the airport.

Bye, Al.

Bye, sweetie.Bye, Mom.

Bye.

Bye.Bye.

Call me Freddy.

Call me when you know.

Calm down, I won't tell her.

Calm down.

Calm down. It's not a permanent thing.

Can I ask you something?

Can I at least get my iPad?

Can I be your best man?

Can I get youa drink? Please.

Can I give you a hug?Definitely not. Good night.

Can I have a rock for a pillow?

Can I stop you?

Can I talk to you outside for a minute?

Can we add one more thing to the doghouse?

Can we call the hospital you were born in?

Can we get one of those next year?

Can we get you anything?

Can we not talk about this right now?

Can we please go?

Can we please just start?

Can we please talk about this later?

Can we stop and get a snack?

Can you feel your foot?

Can you get me a dirt bike?

Can you give me and Hazel a minute?

Can you have me riding a Jet Ski?

Can you mark it for me, please?

Can you pick Hazel up from soccer tomorrow?

Can't bring myself to eat it.

Can't close the deal after coffee.

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Careful.

Carpet weaving.

Champ?

Chashmi dost wa dooshmani bad andish...

Chashmi heach, chashmi khaish.

Check it out, Zubair. How's he gonna get in?

Check it out.

Check on Hazel.

Check out the view.

Check your pockets!

Cheers, man.Cheers.

Cherry picking. That's page five.

Chesty. That used to be my nickname for your mom.

Children are like saplings.

Class act all the way.

Clearly, she is not done with you.

Cleveland? Is Al gonna want to drive that far

Close out his tab, please.

Coldest night of our lives

Come here. I will splash some water on you, too.

Come here. Meet Awalmir and his friends.

Come in.

Come in. Thanks.

Come on in. I'll open a bottle of wine.

Come on, at least get her number.

Come on, Freddy. We got to go.

Come on, help me out here, will ya?

Come on, I made dinner.And don't forget,

Come on, it's important.

Come on, just for a little while?

Come on, let's eat.Who wants cake?

Come on, let's go home.

Come on, let's take her for a spin.

Come on, man. Just tell me what happened.

Come on, sit down. I'll go get the food.All right, come on.

Come on, son, everybody wants to hear from you.

Come on, take a bite.

Come on, talk to me.

Come on, that was hilarious.

Come on, what else you doing?

Come on.

Come on. Get it, Sarge. Get it, Sarge.

Come on. It's for Al.

Come on. Just give him a little pet.

Come on. You can do it.

Coming and going whenever you want.

COMMENTATOR: So far, it's been a very tight game.

Congratulations, dude.

Consider making a small one for your dad.

Contributes to 20% of nighttime crashes?

Copy that.

Costco.

Could you imagine?

Courtesy clerk.

Crossing guard?

Cruising down the boulevard, turning ladies' heads.

Crystal, come on. Come on, stand up.

Cute kid like you.No.

Da gora zoh!

Dad never told me that story.

Dad promised me ice cream.

Dad said you guys used to play Frisbee

Dad, come on, man, leave it alone.

Dad, come on. This is about Al.

Dad, offer it again.

Dad, relax.

Dad, this is for Hazel.

Dad, what the hell, man?

Dad, will you sit with me

Dad, would you tell someone from Kansas City

Dad, you're not gonna win this one.

Dad!

Dad!Ah, calm down.

Dad?

Dad?

Dad.Or now is good.

Daddy!There's my girl!

Damn it.

Damn! Dad tore you a new...

Dare!

Deal.

Definitely no exploding it.

Definitely under 30.

Depending on which side of the Applebee's we're talking about.

Deviated septum. When the weather's dry,

Did Al tell the bathroom guy to spit in his own face?

Did he put you up to this?

Did he sound jealous?

Did he tell you how as a kid he played soccer with a rock?

Did she turn the water off? She's got to turn the water off.

Did things improve the way I hoped?

Did you check the news?

Did you ever get to see the Buddhas of Bamiyan?

Did you find them?

Did you get it?

Did you have a good time?

Did you have that when you got here?

Did you invite them?

Did you know that fatigue

Did you know that your Uncle Al is also your godfather?

Did you know the first time he gave me a gun,

Did you know?Yeah. Why do you think I made you play darts with Walt?

Did you leave behind anyone special?

Did you throw a grenade?

Did you try turning it off and turning it back on?

Did you want a piñata this year?

Didn't get a wink of sleep.

Dig in.Oh, no.

Divorce is tough.

Divorce.

Do American women love this car?

Do better.

Do not give it to him.Oh.

Do not listen to him. He is very upset

Do not say it if it's not true.

Do not tell her.

Do people watch basketball in Afghanistan?

Do they have pizza here?

Do they?

Do we have to establish an alibi?

Do you even know what Mississippi is?

Do you have a fourth job as a poet?

Do you have a second job as a muse?

Do you have any idea how slow you were driving?

Do you have any more money?

Do you have anything like this in burgundy?

Do you have to?

Do you have your permit?

Do you know how many hours until my birthday? 195.

Do you know I've never gone more than a day

Do you know she lives all by herself?

Do you know where my dad went?

Do you know who interrupts the work of God? The devil.

Do you like vanilla?

Do you like your job?

Do you not watch any of your own television shows?

Do you people honestly believe the first beautiful Afghan woman

Do you remember a Marine's first core value?

Do you remember what I did?

Do you think Freddy's going anywhere?

Do you think I would be a good fit?

Do you think we could still finish the doghouse?

Do you think we could teach him to salute?

Do you think you should maybe go check on Riley?

Do you think you tried hard enough?

Do you think...

Do you want me to come with you?

Do you want me to pee on the ground?

Do you want to come in?

Do you want to just play?Gamble? Shame on you.

Do you want to know something else about me?

Do you watch a movie on the way to a movie?

Doctor?Too squeamish.

Does a fundraiser every year?

Does he know I like pizza?

Does he listen?

Does Riley know what?

Does Riley know?

Does she date the American way or the Afghan way?

Does that sound like fun?

Does that work?

Does, um, Hazel know about you and him?

Doesn't feel so great, does it?

Doesn't matter.

Doesn't mean you can just go blab it to his best friend.

Doing chores is your duty.

Doing what, playing pickleball?

Don't be creepy.

Don't be jealous. You're better than that.

Don't be screwing with me.

Don't do that. It's not good for you.

Don't get me wrong though.

Don't help.

Don't interrupt me now.

Don't know how we missed that one.

Don't make me ask.

Don't pretend this is about Hazel.

Don't say I never got you anything.

Don't say it's already come true because you didn't want a party.

Don't say that. It is not so simple.

Don't speak for me.

Don't take it off.

Don't tell her that.

Don't want to say anything to upset you, but...

Don't we have family in Oklahoma?

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry, Riley Jaan.

Don't worry. I've already made a reservation

Don't worry. We got you.

Don't worry. We're gonna find 'em.

Don't yell at me!

Don't you care if I'm comfortable?

Don't you dare.

Don't you get lonely?

Don't you remember Ahmad, Bilal, Ali?

Don't you think 11's too old for mermaids?

Don't you want to come in and say hi to Mom's new boyfriend?

Don't.

Don't...

Done.Whoo! That's my girl.

Double Berry Twist was Mom's favorite.

Double major in disappointing my parents

Drink!

Dry soil is suboptimal for conductivity.

Dude, I can't believe you're really here.

Dude, I know you got a lot going on,

Dude, she's kicking your butt.

Dude, that picture's Photoshopped.

Dude, that was badass.

Dude, this isn'’t Afghanistan.

Dude, what the hell?

Dude, you're wrecking this for me.

Dugan.

Dugan.

Dugan.Thank you.

Dugans never do.

During the war, Riley and I would do this

Each sip of water you take, dog.

Eastmoor, huh? Nice area.

Eating a wheel of cheese.

Educated? Uneducated but with a strong work ethic?

Eh, I'm just commenting that you are still very desirable.

Eh, stop screwing around. Come to work for me.

Eh, technically,

Eh, there is no problem.

Eh, you can call me Art.Oh,

Eight dollars for that chicken?

End of story.

English is not his first language.

Espand e balla band.

Even from 7,000 miles away, that is a hard pass.

Even you don't believe that, Riley.

Ever since Michael died, she's been partying real hard.

Every corny joke and pun.

Every Marine...

Every month for the rest of his life.

Every time a check comes in, that's the world telling you

Every time I drive over it, I'm like,

Everybody gather 'round.

Everybody is safe.

Everybody likes to hang out with you.

Everybody ready?

Everybody that wasn't over there has an opinion, don't they?

Everyone speaks very highly of you.

Everyone there is used to seeing children sell things.

Everyone wanted to leave.

Everyone, gather! It's here!

Everything go okay?

Everything is on the door. Uh...

Everything is perfect!

Everything is written; nothing is a mistake.

Everything okay?

Everything's great here.

Exactly what I told him.

Exactly. So we're gonna hang up all these signs

Excellent.Mm.

Except it has fewer homey touches.

Except put a silk rug in a high traffic area.

Excuse me, but I don't think

Excuse me, but I think I know my own kid.

Excuse me, but we haven't resolved a thing here.

Excuse me, do either of you know how to jump a car?

Excuse me, I'm I'm going to go call her.Okay.

Excuse me, ma'am?

Excuse me?

Excuse me.

Excuse me. I'm gonna hit the head.

Excuse me. Would you mind giving my dad a ride home?

Expand your horizons.

Face tattoo.

Family and friends discount from Culpepper and Sons.

Feel like I'm in a carnival funhouse.

Fiancée.

Fight me, or I'll call your sister names.

Fighting for freedom.

Finally, I figure the coast is clear.

Find out and get back to me.

Fine, I'msorry.What are you sorry about?

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine. I will pet it outside.

Fine. If you insist, I will give it a try.

Fire it up.

First paycheck.

First rule of contracting: once construction has begun,

Five, please.

Fixing kitchen counters every day.

Flying above the clouds of trouble.

For a brave man, he has a very nervous bladder.

For a CSAR pickup in enemy territory, right?

For a minute there, I thought you were

For better visibility while driving

For eggs and toilet paper.

For getting you screwed.

For God's sake, you bailed on being a bail bondsman.

For me, it straightened me out.

For me, wearing shorts is no big deal,

For my next trick, I will need a badass birthday girl.

For my next trick, I will need a volunteer.

For putting together that slideshow.

For talking to you with that tone of voice.

For the first time in my life,

For the Greatest Generation.

For the rest of my life.

For the tea and roht.

For the ten hour flight to Atlanta.

For the three of us at a very nice restaurant.

For the U.S. government to stamp my paperwork.

For the Veteran's Post thing?Yeah.

For the wedding, that's all that matters.

For what?

For you to come home.

For, like, eight million dollars.

Forgive me if I am overstepping,

Former schoolteacher.

Found one. Kasim's Kabobs.

Freddy does tricks.

Freddy, Al.

Freddy, we talked about this.

FREDDY: For my next trick,

Fridays?

Frisbee.

From Afghanistan?

From now on, each bite of food you take, dog.

From The Spaghetti Bucket.

From whatever pile it was buried under

Frugal? Really?

Funny.

Gee, thanks.

Geez. Hope you find your manners in there.

Gene borrowed my drill three years ago,

Get me your manager.

Get started with what?

Get that out of here!

Get this, they're sending a guy to take pictures.

Get used to it.

Get your ass in this sleeping bag so you're here

Girl at the restaurant turned him down.

Girl Scouts, Mom. Girl Scouts.

Give me a kiss.

Give me some ice. All right.Okay.

Give me the keys. I will drive.No, you're exhausted.

Give that money back to him.

Go ahead.

Go back to sleep.

Go home.

Go on, Chesty. I'll wait here.

Go on.

Go!

Go.

Go.

God was stopping me.

God, again with Freddy.

Goes without saying.And yet I'm saying it.

Going all the way back to boot camp.

Going for a run. I'll be back in a bit.

Gonna be a bag boy?

Good boy. Good Sarge. Good Sarge.

Good boy.[door opens]

Good evening, Officer. Is there a problem?

Good family, good reputation

Good for you.

Good idea. Get out of my room.

Good morning.

Good news, we got it.

Good night, son.Good night, Dad.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.[microphone feedback]

Good question, man.

Good shared interests.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good. Uh, got the marble installed. Check it out.

Goodbye, Lizzie.

Goodbye, Riley.

Google "Daisy Dukes."

Googling "panda bears at play."

Gosh, will you knock it off?

Got a minute, Numbers?

Got half a mind to show up there

Got it.

Got some juice boxes I keep here for my daughter.

Got to hit the head.Okay, I love you.

Got to keep a log.

Got to remember to coat your stomach first.

Got to remember to send a card.

Got to stop you right there.

Got your motor running.

Gotcha.

Gotten used to it.

Grab a fistful of ibuprofen for my back.

Grampy gets the mail in his boxers.

Grampy okay?

Grampy puts chocolate chips on my oatmeal.

Grampy, can you get me some juice?

G****, please.Excellent choice.

Great Britain didn't say "We got this."

Great, thank you.

Great!

Great! Hazel,

Great.

Great. He slept in my bed last night.

Grunt, you want the spaghetti and meat sauce

GUESTS: Wow.[applause]

Guilty. Canada.

Gunny.

Ha ha.

Ha, we're just looking.

Ha!

Ha. You waiting for your birthday to take a shower?

Had to be the crack of dawn one?

Hairline fracture.

Handsomest.

Hang on, hang on.

Hang on.

Hang on. Oh, yeah.

Happen to notice a rusty, old Rain Bird sprinkler?

Happy birthday, Uncle Al.

Happy.

Harder!

Harder.

Has a different experience.

Has blossomed yet.

Has he ever considered getting married again?

Hassina, I would like you to meet my goddaughter, Hazel.

HASSINA: Salaam, brother.Salaam, Hassina.

Have it done for you in no time.

Have you apologized for whatever it was you did wrong?

Have you ever seen your father

Have you ever thought about becoming a lawyer?

Have you met my kids?

Have you not met me?

Have you thought about where you're taking this Barbara

Haven't you ever bought something

Hazel and I miss you.

Hazel and I were giving the dog a bath.

Hazel doesn't show it,

Hazel Jaan,

Hazel Jaan, hello.

Hazel Jaan, I don't understand what the big deal is.

Hazel was the cutest, happiest baby ever.

Hazel wouldn't rub my feet if there was a genie in them.

Hazel,

Hazel,

Hazel, an elder is wise.

Hazel, can you say " tsanga yee"?

Hazel, could you give Uncle Al and me a minute?

Hazel, don't be rude.

Hazel, get the pizza boxes from last night and some tape.

Hazel, I am a 28 or 29 year old man.

Hazel, I brought you a special present.

Hazel, my mother says when you cut a cake,

Hazel, shake my hand.

Hazel, there's someone really special I want you to meet.

Hazel, this is my sister Hassina.

Hazel, when I was your age,

Hazel, when you set up the tent, did you...

Hazel, why don't you tell him what it is?

Hazel, you are being very disrespectful right now.

Hazel, you cannot push me around

Hazel, you should stand up

HAZEL: And a little Spanish.

Hazel!

Hazel? You'll meet her.

Hazel?Yeah.

Hazel.

Hazel.Am I wrong?

He already has three jobs. Can you believe it?

He can ease up on that whole happy go lucky guy routine.

He can make a six pack disappear.

He can't have pork.

He could really use that.

He did not put bullets in it?

He didn't ask me to move into the garage.

He didn't come back.

He does love her.

He doesn't have a license, okay?

He doesn't have any friends.

He doesn't need a chaperone. Just need to show her that video

He doesn't speak English.

He doesn't speak Pashto.

He got my visa application out

He guessed my jacket size just by looking at me.

He had me taken off laundry detail.

He has a little of the poet in him.

He heard me.I know.

He held her in the hospital.

He is a happy go lucky guy.

He is going to be so jealous.

He is married, by the way.

He is my fourth favorite person in America.

He is the best of planners.

He is very different from what I remember.

He is very superstitious.

He just doesn't like being the center of attention.

He just needs to take her out for coffee.

He just said he doesn't want to get paid.

He likes lawn mowers?

He likes rich people, and I clearly am living with one.

He made us spend the longest,

He met somebody. Let's just be happy for him.

He might as well have shot off a flare.[laughter]

He must have amazing stories.

He needs this.

He probably went to get...

He promised to teach me camping

He really liked you.

He said Freddy can come to the party.

He should take care of his business in the woods.

He sure does.

He thinks he can do what he wants

He thinks if he does not do it, you will get into a fight.

He thought it was funny that it made fart noises.

He told me himself

He was a good man...

He was going to let that happen.

He was gonna come back home.

He was homesick,

He was just a friend, a nice guy,

He was just having a bad day.

He was like a drunken baby

He was my favorite helicopter pilot.

He was my interpreter in Afghanistan.

He was not very welcoming.

He was probably exhausted from war.

He was that kid.

He was waiting for me on the tarmac

He went through a rough patch.

He will be.

He won't go get help. He refused to go to counseling.

He would never come back to your house.

He would never look at another woman

He'll never do it.

He's 20.

He's a funny kid, quirky.

He's a good boy.

He's a good kid.

He's at the VFW Bar.

He's been sleeping in his dad's garage ever since.

He's exposed to a lot of top secret information.

He's going through some stuff.

He's gonna float away.

He's home. Run!

He's new here.

He's nice.

He's not coming to the party.

He's not coming, is he?No.

He's not serious.

He's not.

He's staying.

He's the one who didn't try hard enough.

Heard that place is a meat grinder.

Hell no.

Hell yeah.Hazel.

Hello, can I have everybody's attention?

Hello, darling.

Hello, Fred.

Hello, I'm your father.

Hello, little girl.

Hello, Lizzie, I am Al's cool cousin.

Hello, Mr. Art.

Hello, Mr. Art.

Hello, my name is Al.

Hello, Paula.

Hello, Riley Jaan.

Hello, Shawn.

Hello, Vanessa.

Hello, Vanessa.

Hello?

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. Uh, good evening.

Hello. Welcome. How many?

Help me out.

Helped drive Rommel out of Africa.

Helping the locals.

Her older brother sells clothing called Lulu's lemons...

Her parents are still alive, so she comes from sturdy stock.

Her son lives just one town over,

Here are the chocolates you brought for her.

Here comes one right now.

Here we are.

Here we go. Show me what you got.

Here you go, Officer.

Here you go.

Here you go. So, how long you been here?

Here you go.Thanks, Grampy.

Here, wear this.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Here. Put these on.

Here...

Hey, Al, while you're at it,

Hey, Al.

Hey, Al. Hey, everybody.

Hey, Al.Where's Hazel?

Hey, amigo.

Hey, any word? No.

Hey, Art, can I buy you a cup of coffee to thank you?

Hey, Art. Patterson!

Hey, can I ask you a question?

Hey, can I try?

Hey, Champ. You good?

Hey, could we build a house for him?

Hey, could you give me a minute here, Al?

Hey, cute dress.

Hey, Dad.There she is.

Hey, do me a favor. Will you stick your lower lip out?

Hey, don't be snippy with me.

Hey, don't call me babe. It's so condescending.

Hey, don't lift like that. You'll hurt your back.

Hey, don't talk about me like I'm not right here.

Hey, don't worry about Mrs. Foster.

Hey, don't yell at Bertha.

Hey, fists not words.

Hey, friends.

Hey, get that out of my face before I bite off a toe!

Hey, Grampy.

Hey, Grampy.Look at you in a dress.

Hey, guys, I got something I want to run by you.

Hey, guys, looks great.

Hey, guys. Yeah?

Hey, Hazel!

Hey, Hazelnut.

Hey, help me get the rain gear.

Hey, hey, hey, buddy.

Hey, hey, hey. Get your own.

Hey, hey, hey. That's a $2,000 toilet.

Hey, hey!

Hey, I am not your secretary.

Hey, I brought you some... Oh.

Hey, I don't search for porn.

Hey, I don't want to rain on your parade or anything,

Hey, I saved that dog's life.

Hey, I'm gonna grab some drinks with friends.

Hey, I'm just glad we got your ass out of that La Z Boy.

Hey, I'm not God. I don't know.

Hey, I'm only in charge of the slideshow.

Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Hey, I've been thinking.

Hey, if that's the deal,

Hey, in my defense,

Hey, it worked.

Hey, it worked.

Hey, it's here!

Hey, it's okay to treat yourself.

Hey, just so you know, I left a message with a buddy of mine

Hey, let's do one of the ones where you're walking towards me.

Hey, listen, lady, we're not leaving

Hey, Lizzie, I found the cure for tinnitus.

Hey, Lizzie, while you're in there,

Hey, Mr. Three Jobs.

Hey, my hearing still works.

Hey, no one was stopping you from playing.

Hey, one more thing.

Hey, one more word out of you,

Hey, Riley, turn it over when I tell you.

Hey, Riley?

Hey, Riley.

Hey, Riley. [laughs]

Hey, Riley. Good to see you.

Hey, since you're here, let's figure out

Hey, sunshine.

Hey, this isn't gonna be spicy, is it?

Hey, uh,

Hey, uh, could we go talk somewhere?

Hey, Vanessa just doesn't get it.

Hey, wait. One more thing.

Hey, Walt. What was Patton like?

Hey, what about me?

Hey, what are you worried about?

Hey, what's up?

Hey, where you guys been?

Hey, you called me.

Hey, you doing all right?

Hey, you got a minute? We want to run something by you.

Hey, you want to get fired on day one?

Hey, you want to help us build a snare?

Hey, you're making good money now.

Hey, Zubair, check out the stereo.Oh.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Awalmir!

Hey! How you doing?

Hey?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. [laughs]

Hey. Don't feel bad, Al.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hi.

Hey. Look at your own test.

Hey. Oh.

Hey. Power's probably out again.

Hey. Try it.

Hey. Where you going?

Hey. Who's playing?

Hey. Whose side are you on?

Hey.Hey.

Hi, Al.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Freddy.

Hi, Mom.Hi, baby.

Hi, Riley. [laughs]

Hi.

Hi. [sighs]

Hi. Do you guys make a kind of bread called roht?

Hiding from the bad guys.

Hiding is boring. A little gossip would have been nice.

His DD 214 and a few blog posts

His ears.

His greatest battle was raging right here,

His men loved him.

His mother told him this when he was a child.

His name is Sarge, and we're gonna build him barracks.

His name's Awalmir.Yeah.

His son Riley and his granddaughter Hazel.

His soul is like a withered fig,

His wonderful magic.

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. Can you do this Photoshop for me?

Hmm. Hello?

Hmm. Here is a button to override the store price.

Hmm. Imagine living in a country so peaceful,

Hmm. Maybe he did. We don't know.

Hmm. My bottom is no warmer than when I woke up this morning.

Hmm. Thanks, Dad.

Hmm. That might be true.

Hmm. Then it will make an interesting fact

Hmm. Um...

Hmm. Um...

Hmm. Very nice.

Hmm.Uh, wait, wait, can we just see it?

Hmm.You looked like a watermelon with feet.

Hold him in case he goes crazy.

Hold on. Let me see this.

Hold on. Um...

Holly, make sure they don't leave.

HOLLY: You're looking for Riley?

Holly?

Holly. Lizzie Dugan.

Home birth. Very trendy.

Honestly, I think it's just a hearing test for old people.

Honestly, Lizzie.

Honor guides...

Hope you're paying attention. There'll be a quiz later.

House next to us this way

How about a bird?

How about a follow back, girl?

How about another big hand for Lizzie Dugan

How about I get you some fruit juice?

How about I skip school and we go to the water park?

How about now?

How about now?

How about one with raisins?

How about scrambled eggs in a cone?

How about this?

How about this?

How about this?

How about when my dad went to war?

How about,

How am I just learning about this?

How are you gonna rebel as a teenager?

How beautifully pavedyour roads are.

How can I be asleep?

How can that possibly be important?

How can you not be satisfied with her, Riley?

How can you tell?

How clever.

How come you'll put color in Aunt Lizzie's hair and not mine?

How come you're...?

How come? You're a good looking guy.

How could you help a foreign invader?

How could you not tell me you were having marriage problems?

How dare you.

How dare you.

How did you know?

How do you explain that, Shawn?

How do you know the dog is not carrying some kind of disease?

How do you know this?Google, dude.

How do you know when you can buy booze?

How do you know?

How do you know? Did you go to med school

How do you lose something that hangs around your neck?

How do you say "We're so happy to see you"

How do you think they got so rich?

How is that fun?

How is that fun?

How many of these do we need?

How much fun it was to stand next to a cannon.

How much prettier?

How much roht do you have?

How much time do you have?

How much you want to help, but we tried.

How much?

How old is Mitch?

How recent?I don't know.

How the hell did that just happen?

How we doing?

How will you ever learn to deal

How would his family get to Mexico?

How?

How'd you get time off to come here?

How'd you know? Hmm.

How's Al doing?Ah, he's sleeping like a baby.

How's he gonna get to know her?

How's it going?

How's Richie Rich's bathroom coming?

How's that?

How's your day been so far?

How's your delivery thing going?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? Ketchup.

Huh? What do you think?

Huh.

Huh. If my words hurt you so much,

Huh. Maybe his jokes arefunny.

Huh.A piñata breaks open, and candy comes out.

Hurry up! The candles are melting!

Hurry.

Hydrate.

I 16.

I 16.

I agree.

I also know I was 19 inches and had an enormous head.

I always check out their faucets.

I am 28.

I am a little, uh...

I am a very patient man.

I am about to ruin your Monday.

I am afraid that I have offended Lizzie.

I am also very concerned that if it bites Hazel

I am bringing it to all the neighbors

I am confident in my masculinity.

I am feeling homesick.

I am going to take you shopping and we are going to buy you

I am her favorite son.

I am in the middle.

I am making us something to eat.

I am not afraid to be criticized.

I am not, and I discovered this

I am older than you and deserve...

I am right about the dog, though.

I am so happy to be here.

I am so happy to see you.

I am so moved that you went to all this trouble

I am so sorry I created this problem for your family.

I am so sorry, Mr. Art.Hey,

I am so sorry.

I am sorry for bringing problems into your home.

I am the gun taped to the back of your neck.

I am the manager.

I am thinking Auntie Barbara.

I am touched that you want to do something special for me.

I am two years younger than my brother Wahid.

I am very serious. My mother told me this when I was child.

I am victorious!

I am walking away.

I am wearing shorts also.

I appreciate the offer,

I asked him how he was doing, and he went...

I basically missed out on six years of Hazel growing up.

I believe it's important to contribute in the home

I believe that whatever happens is God's will.

I bet he does not.

I bought a book on how to give speeches.

I bought a lottery ticket.Ah.

I bought something just for myself,

I brought some rice pudding.

I brought the rest home to my family.

I brought you a beer.

I call that progress.

I came out of respect for the guy who saved your life.

I can do whatever I want.

I can figure it out.

I can hear how painful that is for you,

I can help you with jokes.

I can say that 'cause

I can still remember the day you were born.

I can take care of this myself.

I can tell.

I can think of one fool

I can't believe she's arguing with her boss

I can't believe we're doing this.

I can't change the price of the groceries. Okay.

I can't do that. Hazel loves him.

I can't handle

I can't imagine what it's like for you and your family.

I can't pay you any more.

I can't swim.

I can't take him to Vegas.

I can't understand why Ariana wouldn't like you.

I can't.

I cannot afford a new car.

I cannot believe I'm related to you guys.

I cannot help but feel that I am a bad guest.

I cannot thank you enough.

I commissioned him to weave a rug that would be

I could be with a million women.

I could do something.

I could have been the Tallahassee Strangler.

I could have done more, but Dad looked tired.

I could have fixed it.

I could keep it as long as it had a bath?

I could never afford it.Oh, don't look

I couldn't do that even if I wanted to.

I couldn't tell if the wiggly man out front

I created a construction company that's deeply in debt.

I did a report on him.

I did it last night. I can do it again.

I did not eat the whole slice.

I did not know you were one of the Beach Boys. Huh?

I did not say that.

I did not seek fame, but it seems to have found me.

I did share a bedroom with four cousins.

I did what I signed up for and I came home.

I did, 'cause I didn't want you to get killed!

I did.

I did. Poorly.

I didn't even recognize myself.

I didn't have to, but I did.

I didn't say I wouldn't do it.

I didn't see anything.

I didn't want to ask.

I didn't want to wake you.

I disagree.

I do all right.

I do love free.

I do not think so.Excuse me?

I do not understand why he is getting

I do not want to meddle in the affairs of a husband and wife.

I do not.

I do the same thing to Riley's drinks when he's not looking.

I do, too.

I do.

I do.

I don't agree with the way you gargle.

I don't appreciate you trying to jam your boyfriend

I don't believe it.

I don't come from a pastry culture.

I don't drink.

I don't even know if she likes me.

I don't even know what the movie is anymore.

I don't find him a peel ing.

I don't get it.

I don't get most of them,

I don't have an evil eye!

I don't have the calluses anymore.

I don't have time for that right now, Hazel.

I don't have to punish you, Riley.

I don't know how I got there.

I don't know if they're alive or dead.

I don't know what happened.

I don't know what happened.

I don't know what.

I don't know when I was born,

I don't know, I... I guess.

I don't know, man.

I don't know, maybe a squirrel.

I don't know, when her mother lets me.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. Maybe he's from California.

I don't know. That's what "lost" means.

I don't know. Think you'll call her Mrs. Art?

I don't know. This was a bad idea.

I don't know.You don't want to know.

I don't like chocolate. It is too sweet.

I don't like Hazel seeing me

I don't need anything else.

I don't remember.

I don't think I am.

I don't think I'm overreacting at all.

I don't think she was wearing a ring.

I don't think so.

I don't think this is a good idea.

I don't think we should have sex, though.

I don't think you know what a real problem is.

I don't think you quite sold it.

I don't want juice.

I don't want to be the guy whose dad had to give him a job.

I don't want to fight you.

I don't want to get too sappy, but now you guys are engaged,

I don't want to have a bad dream.

I don't want to hurt you.

I don't want to make this mistake again.

I don't want to talk about it.

I don't want to talk about it.

I don't. I had them on last night

I don't. I just wanted to see what you would do.

I enjoy making pasta salad.

I feel better now.

I feel like I should be paying you for teaching me a new trade.

I feel like you are messing with me.

I fell off a ladder, but I didn't land on my head.

I felt helpless when I couldn't get you out.

I felt like I was doing something important.

I filled out an application for Postmates,

I find myself in need of a second job.

I find that a wide range of interests

I forgot to tell you, Afghans don't really keep dogs as pets.

I found some money on the street,

I gave him a fist bump.

I get it.

I get it. I screwed up.

I get it. You don't like my bookkeeping.

I get it. You want to keep me here.

I get nosebleeds.

I get that, Al, but I just really don't think

I get that.

I get that. I was born here.

I got a bottle of Advil in the truck,

I got a friend. Walk with me.

I got a Frisbee. Want to play?

I got a job at the supermarket.

I got drinkedinto staying.

I got invited to two office Christmas parties.

I got it on Super 8 in a box somewhere.

I got nowhere to be.

I got this.

I got to get my hair cut for this thing.

I got to get my uniform together,

I got to go take care of something.

I got to take a shower for my date.

I got you a present.

I guess I never thought of it as a nice place.

I guess so.

I guess you were right.

I had it first.

I had it on VHS. Sound was not great.

I had never seen a woman lying on a bed before.

I had to keep her

I had to know you weren't gonna shoot me.

I hate the guy.

I have a problem that can't be fixed, too.

I have a whole other binder for what he calls

I have an out of state one, so...

I have been better.

I have been dreaming about

I have it, too.

I have just arrived from Afghanistan

I have lost friends this way.

I have never been safer.

I have never seen a woman's legs.

I have no new muscles and my arms hurt.

I have noticed that you drive too close to cars.

I have only been here one day,

I have pieces of motorcycle

I have plenty of hardships.

I have some extra friends. You could borrow a few.

I have those.

I have to go, Awalmir. But hang in there.

I have to tell you both, I am missing the warlords right now.

I haven't been on a date in probably 30 years.

I haven't decided yet.

I haven't really had time to decorate.

I heard he was a little extra.

I heard him. I don't have it.Yes, you do.

I heard the rain.

I hope he has not been bewitched.

I hope it helps.

I hope she doesn't lose her job.

I hope so. When I'm a guest in someone's house,

I hope you don't have any plans for the rest of the day.

I hope you like brie.

I hope you're right.

I I appreciate

I I could not focus. I could not concentrate.

I I did not know what to do.

I I know this is bad. Just please arrest me.

I imagine it was very difficult for you.

I insist, buddy.

I joins the Marines straight out of high school,

I just asked you if you're asleep.

I just don't want some strange woman hurting his feelings.

I just feel like you deserve more.

I just got chills.

I just needed a weekend off. I worked 60 hours this week.

I just pay a little bit every month.

I just started.

I just thought you had enough to worry about,

I just touch it for a moment before it gets to you.

I just want to find my own thing.

I just wanted you to appreciate how tough I am.

I just wish you wouldn't jump into stuff

I just... had enough.

I just... No.

I keep telling him to get his act together

I killed Hitler.

I knew I had my window of peak conductivity.

I knew it!

I knew it.

I knew you were worried,

I knocked on so many doors and the only person

I know about a billion people who would disagree with you.

I know all the tricks.

I know exactly what movie you're in.

I know how much influence you have around here.

I know how much you love red meat, so that means a lot.

I know it sounds crazy...

I know we will.

I know we're not great about saying things like this...

I know what I'm doing.

I know where it is.

I know you think you're doing a nice thing

I know, 'cause I'm gonna do it.

I know, Dad.

I know, it sounds more like a lunch food, doesn't it?

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know. [whoops, laughs]

I know. It's awesome.This is good, right here.

I know. It's the leather.

I know. We'll just throw some fresh paint on it,

I know. Weird, right?

I like having three jobs.

I like him.

I like it more than this conversation.

I like it. Gonna have to get over there some time.

I like that. Then he wouldn't outrank me.

I like this woman. I want to smell good.

I like to wear it when I visit her grave.

I like women.

I like your shorts.

I live in Mr. Art's house.

I lived through three regime changes.

I look back,

I looked over the paperwork. They really took you guys.

I looked that up in case there is extra credit.

I lost Michael's dog tags.

I lost track of time, okay?

I love good causes.

I love rice pudding.

I love Vanessa, I don't love her.

I love you.

I love your mom's roht.

I made us some tea.

I make friends everywhere I go,

I make my own sausages.

I mean, all the videos I got,

I mean, am I right?

I mean, don't you have anything better to do?

I mean, flat.

I mean, taking advantage of an immigrant and a moron

I mean, that dude was always waiting to swoop in,

I mean, the mood swings, the drinking.

I mean, there is a friend of Freddy's who I think

I mean, what's it been

I mean...

I meant magic tricks.RILEY: Hazel,

I meet in America, I'm going to marry?

I met someone.

I miss people speaking my language.

I miss sitting on my roof.

I miss that.

I miss walking by the naan wayees.

I must imagine that, when you were younger,

I need more espand seeds.

I need the binder.

I need them. I'm still growing.

I need to ask a favor.

I need to do with my money.

I need to find another job.

I need you to record Uncle Al's speech

I never heard anyone say, "We're so glad you're here."

I never really thought about it.

I never should've let him go up there.

I only picked it 'cause it comes with a yo yo.

I own a lot of round items,

I passed. 100%.

I prefer to keep it formal.

I pretend it's a soft wind

I promise, from now on,

I put it into my hand,

I read a book on giving speeches, and it suggested

I really am gonna go do this.

I really am gonna go this time.

I really appreciate you trying to help,

I really don't want to be a poster boy.

I really like talking to people.

I really thought I knew what I was doing, but clearly, I don't.

I really want to go as soon as I finish grad school.

I really want to.

I really wanted to.

I recommend gloves, but you do you.

I remember people blasting music at full volume.

I remember when Michael came to the house

I remember.

I said I'm going!

I said I'm going.

I said it right.

I said no, man. Get off my case.

I said, "Excuse me. I am trying to do you a favor."

I saved all the receipts.

I say I'll be fine by Monday.

I screwed up, I made him drive. It's my fault.

I see a young man from Afghanistan!

I should not be telling you this,

I shouldn't have let you come with me.

I sign your paychecks!And I'm saving your ass!

I slammed it in our Humvee door.

I sold crackers in the neighborhood.

I sold my bike. It'll help you pay off your car.

I speak a little French.

I spent a spring break in Mexico.

I spent so many hours on the phone with V.A. reps,

I sure never got an attaboy when I came back from Grenada.

I swear I will not take your money.

I swore, you will make me a sinner if you pay.

I tagged along because I wanted to meet the Afghan guy.Ah.

I think I better go straighten things out.

I think I can make it work.

I think I got some bad advice.

I think I have some almonds in my purse.

I think I have some peach schnapps.

I think it would look even better in the living room.

I think it's probably okay.

I think it's too late.

I think saying sorry shows great strength

I think she wants him at the party.

I think she's right!

I think that's the motto for the Coast Guard, Art.

I think the instructor did not like me.

I think this is all of it.

I think we lost Riley.

I think we should name the dog Chesty

I think what you're feeling is

I think you are.

I think you know the answer to that.

I think you, Vanessa, and I should meet

I think you'd like her.

I think you've had enough, buddy.

I think your sister should be whatever she wants to be.

I think.

I thought everyone would invite me in.

I thought I knew how to fix a clock.

I thought so, too.

I thought that was only if you lost an arm or a leg.

I thought you got a great deal on that thing.I did!

I thought you had it all figured out.

I thought you wanted me to pick.

I thought you were doing it in the backyard?Yeah, we are.

I told him to treat himself.

I told you I was sorry!

I told you I'd always have your back, so, here.

I told you I'd do it.

I told you I'm not interested.

I tumble in, land on a pallet of peaches.

I turned the water off.

I understand that, too.

I understand you're something of a trickster.

I understand,

I understand.

I waited three years for a visa

I want him to be comfortable.

I want my daughter's father to be okay.

I want my family to be happy.

I want them to have a wow factor.

I want to apologize.

I want to come with you.No.

I want to get good so I can rub it in her face.

I want to hear what she has to say.

I want to know what happened back there.

I want to look nice for Vanessa.

I want to pass it on to somebody I love!

I want to send her there.

I want to send it to my cousin Zubair.

I want to send it to my cousin Zubair.

I want to take the principles of microfinance

I want to tell you a story about your father.

I want you to explain it to me.

I want you to pick something I like, too.

I wanted to see Indiana.

I was 17.

I was a boy when the Taliban destroyed them,

I was a C.S. on the USS Elrod. Did two med deployments.

I was also exhausted when I drove our Humvee under fire

I was approved by Postmates.

I was born in my grandmother's house.

I was drawing that.

I was embarrassed.

I was getting there.

I was hoping to be friendly with them.

I was hoping you could help me with

I was hoping you could put together a slideshow

I was hoping you would put in a word for me.

I was just in the neighborhood and thought I should stop by

I was just mad.

I was just... just chasing a feeling.

I was not allowed to have a personality until I turned 18.

I was not born in a hospital.

I was so heartbroken when I heard Michael died.

I was so sorry to hear about that.

I was the toughest negotiator he ever...

I was there the whole time.

I was there.

I was thinking

I was Tubbs.

I was worried you weren't gonna make it.

I was, um, walking down the street,

I wasn't a hero.

I wasn't a terrorist?

I wasn't. But, then again,

I will cherish the memories of her

I will drive very fast.

I will find you the man of your dreams.

I will get there, Mr. Ted.

I will give you five dollars for the chicken.

I will give you four.

I will go talk to him.

I will if you'd just shut up.

I will introduce you, after which you can pretend

I will know if you cheap out on me.

I will need a beautiful princess.

I will never look at another woman ever again.

I will protect you

I will sit on your lap.

I will start with a smile, and take it from there.

I will take it from here.

I will take it to my grave.

I will tell him.Yeah.

I wish I could just dump it on my ex's front lawn.

I wish I could, but you're too good of a friend.

I wish I wasn't.

I wish you'd reconsider coming to work for me, your great dad.

I work in construction.

I worked out this morning.

I would be embarrassed to invite people

I would be very surprised.

I would fast for the whole day during Ramadan.

I would invite her to meet me in a park or restaurant,

I would like him to not call me "amigo."

I would like to read a poem

I would like to take a moment to thank my beautiful wife.

I would like to talk to you.

I would never tell you how to dress.

I would rather not.

I would really like that.

I would tell 'em we are cousins.

I would try to exchange signals with her

I would.I do.

I wouldn't drive this car if you gave it to me for free.

I wouldn't even know what to say to this woman.

I wouldn't even know where to start.

I wrote for my Uncle Al.Oh. Wait.

I...

I'd ask you how things went out there, but, uh, I think I know.

I'd better go check on Riley.

I'd do a backflip. My family sucks.

I'd just be one more body...

I'd like to tell him where to put his round items.

I'd say "enjoy," but I don't see it happening.

I'll ask her out, and if she's offended,

I'll be 12. That's a little old for a bounce house.

I'll be at a nearby table. You won't even know I'm there.

I'll be fine.

I'll be right back.

I'll be your magician.

I'll do the best I can.

I'll either be very charming or very annoying.

I'll get more money.

I'll have my mother send you some.

I'll just keep asking.

I'll keep looking.

I'll make it up to you, okay? I promise.

I'll make you a deal drink one shot with us,

I'll meet you at the curb.

I'll never get used to that.

I'll report back, obviously.

I'll see you later, old man.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I'll tell you what you did.

I'll think about it.

I'll trade you

I'll turn around and bend over.

I'll write down my number in case you ever need

I'm a big fan of the 1997 Toyota Corolla.

I'm a go check the water heater.

I'm a Toyota Corolla man myself.

I'm actually working on my MBA.

I'm ashamed to say I cannot afford this car.

I'm asking you to wear a tutu and clown shoes.

I'm assuming he still hasn't heard anything?

I'm at a party, too!

I'm at a party!

I'm back.

I'm being selfless.

I'm burning espand seeds to ward off the evil eye.

I'm coming over right now.

I'm doubtful.

I'm frugal. That's what I'm into.

I'm glad you're so pleased with yourself, but you know me.

I'm gonna ask you a favor, and there's a bunch of ways

I'm gonna ask you to wait in the car.

I'm gonna call the BMV

I'm gonna do some thinking.

I'm gonna get my act so together,

I'm gonna go down to that dealership and let 'em have it.

I'm gonna go wash my face.

I'm gonna hear about it when you leave anyway.

I'm gonna need a little more information.

I'm gonna say goodbye to you out here, honey.

I'm helpless.

I'm in Ohio.

I'm in.

I'm just asking you to wear pants

I'm just concerned about everyone's health and safety.

I'm just curious to know where your head's at.

I'm just getting to know the enemy.

I'm just gonna turn this down a little so we can talk.

I'm just grabbing some air.

I'm just making up for lost time.

I'm just missing home.

I'm just saying, it's a three hour ride home

I'm just saying, she was awfully cozy with the guy

I'm just so damn proud of you, son. I wish you...

I'm just teasing you.

I'm just trying to figure out where else you could live.

I'm letting her win.

I'm listening.

I'm Lois, by the way.Oh, Art.

I'm looking forward to attending.

I'm losing the thread here, but...

I'm more of a boss.

I'm not a monster.

I'm not condoning that.

I'm not even here.Do I have to pretend?

I'm not going to the V.A.

I'm not good at anything here.

I'm not hearing the word "chocolate."

I'm not here for that.

I'm not messing around.

I'm not pouting.

I'm not trying to talk you out of it.

I'm not worried about my truck.

I'm not.

I'm not. I'm really not.

I'm on my way.

I'm open to Afghan pizza.

I'm pretty sure it's sticking in my butt.

I'm really getting worried.

I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry.

I'm sensing a tone here.

I'm so glad we finally got to meet.

I'm so s

I'm sorry I judged you at dinner.

I'm sorry to hear that. You were so happy yesterday.

I'm sorry, buddy.

I'm sorry, buddy.

I'm sorry, but I'm done trying to raise my daughter

I'm sorry, Mr. Art, but this requires

I'm sorry, what?

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. What?

I'm starving. When are we gonna get there?

I'm still here, aren't I?

I'm such an idiot.

I'm sure and my therapist is sure.

I'm sure he'll be back soon.

I'm surprised. I just never seen you take them off.

I'm talking about the safety of his family.

I'm texting with some chick I barely know,

I'm the one that tried to put his head in it.

I'm the only one that dances with Bertha.

I'm thinking! I'm thinking!

I'm too embarrassed to come out,

I'm touching a dog on purpose. How's your day going?

I'm trying to get a new mommy.

I'm very concerned about these faucets.

I'm very disappointed in you.

I'm warming up my instrument.

I'm working on a mixed media mosaic.

I'm working.

I'm worried about you, sis.

I'm yelling at an idiot.

I'mhaving more fun!Okay, you two, put those down.

I've been trying to reach my family in Kabul since I woke up,

I've enjoyed these two minutes of not fighting with you.

I've learned to live with it.

I've never been to a birthday party.

I've noticed most of Lizzie's pants have holes.

Ice cream's for winners.

If anything, we took them. Tell her, Al.

If he couldn't afford it, they wouldn't have sold it to him.

If he still loves me so much,

If he were not tormented by the agony of not being with you.

If I have children, will they abandon me?

If I run this red light, will I fail my test?

If I say that I'm coming, I'm coming.

If I was throwing a dinner party and you came in here,

If I were to move to Afghanistan

If I'm gonna stay here for the rest of my life,

If it helps you get to where you need to be.

If it tastes like waking up to American troops

If it wasn't for my dog, I would have been very lonely.

If it would be easier, Mr. Art,

If not, we got the bucket.

If she doesn't appreciate what you did,

If she just hangs out with her grandpa.

If someone asks you to park their car.

If the two of us could learn a language he does not know,

If there was a problem,

If we're lucky.

If you buy a boat, Kenny's out.

If you cannot give him a raise,

If you change your mind, drive back and honk twice.

If you didn't hear from your family for two days?

If you do it wrong."If you do it wrong.

If you ever met him?

If you got the cash,

If you have any feelings left for me at all, don't tell him.

If you just leave.

If you need to say something, say it in front of Donna.

If you paid cash, dummy.

If you're happy, I invited them to your party.

If you're interested,

If you're mad, I invited them to my party.

IKT. I know that.

In a divorce.

In a handicap spot just 'cause they want

In Afghanistan, he was capable and sure of himself.

In Afghanistan, if you try to buy a car

In Afghanistan, we didn't celebrate birthdays.

In Afghanistan, when you move into a neighborhood,

In all of creation?

In all the years I've known you, when has that ever worked?

In America, fatigue contributesto 20% of nighttime crashes.

In downtown Kabul.

In ethical and moral behavior.

In every cell in my body.

In fact, I don't even know when my birthday is.

In fact, the hell with you, I'll just take Al.

In Grenada.

In his flat bottom?

In my country, women go crazy over the kind of car you drive.

In my defense, his magic is just enchanting.

In rain, fog or snow,

In that sink.

In the comfort of Ohio's fanciest bathroom.

In the dead of night, cut off from our unit,

In the form of coffee and breakfast. Please.

In the house?

In the middle of a firefight.

In the shape of you.

In the sink?!

In... What is the language there?

Including yours.

Indoor plumbing's for Girl Scouts.

Instead of a giant magnet?

Into my daughter's birthday party.

Is also in him.

Is because there is a beautiful hole in his life

Is English your fourth language, too?

Is everything okay?

Is he there?

Is I can't lift my arms.

Is it broken?

Is it like this?

Is it money you spent?

Is it my birthday?

Is it the ear thing again?Yeah.

Is it the tinnitus?

Is it too short?

Is just taking away help from a vet

Is like spitting in your own face.

Is Michael Jordan in this game?

Is really what separates me from the rest of the pack.

Is she mad at me?Perfect world.

Is she still trying to get me to go to counseling at the VA?

Is text them good night and the first thing I do

Is that a joke?

Is that an American tradition,

Is that as fast as you can go?

Is that how you get your kicks?

Is that it?

Is that what we're playing right now?

Is that what you think he said?

Is that why she always called me Crockett?

Is the key in his pocket or is his car just happy to see him?

Is there a problem here?

Is there a problem?

Is there a third choice?

Is there anything we can do?

Is this how you do it?

Is this normal?

Is this weird? It's weird, right?

Is this what my life is going to be like in this country?

Is this your car?

Is this your card?

Is Vanessa around? I need to talk to her for a sec.

Is your pinky okay?

Is your Wi Fi working?

Is, uh, Gene Reynolds.

Isn't being an interpreter a good thing?

Isn't that my parents' job?

Isn't that the American way?

Isn't there a law, like a...

It can be a very good thing.

It could be fun.Great.

It did those things for your dad too,

It didn't last.

It doesn't happen much.

It doesn't have to be forever.

It facilitates dialogue, even among the most bitter enemies.

It feels like you're looking at me.

It feels weird.

It felt like a short circuit in my brain.

It has 450 miles on it.What?

It hasn't been fun! It hasn't been fun at all!

It helped take our minds off of the danger.

It is a beautiful country.

It is a fool's errand.

It is a marvel

It is a picture of my cousin Zubair

It is a real thing.

It is a very long light.

It is about your father

It is B fatigue.

It is called sabzi.

It is Christmas Eve and you are in the Nakatomi building.

It is just like my mother's.

It is like a ghost is driving the car.

It is like Aryana Sayeed is in the back seat.

It is like polo, but instead of a ball they use a dead goat.

It is like you spit into the air

It is made from fresh wheat, our own chicken's eggs,

It is my pleasure to introduce an exceptional man

It is my sister.

It is not a superstition.

It is not important. I I will pay for the damage.

It is not weird.

It is now.

It is one of the most beautiful places on Earth.

It is perfect.

It is rice pudding.

It is so goodto finally meet you.

It is so simple.

It is that simple.

It is the land of opportunity and small monthly payments.

It is the only place where I've felt peace

It is the ugliest car I have ever seen.

It is ugly.

It is up to you and me.

It is very dangerous.

It is very sad.

It is your job to wash the dishes and to clean the kitchen.

It isn't like that. We just hang out."

It isn't.

It looks really nice where you have it in the hallway.

It may take me a while, but...

It must be so hard to be you.

It must have gone bad during its travels.

It must have shrunk while I waited three years

It only has 20 miles on it.

It really seemed like a bad fall.

It seems very small.

It should, it absolutely should.

It sounds like a who.

It starts with licks,

It sure is.

It takes a minute.

It took me, like, five times to pass my driving test.

It was bursting with flavor.

It was great meeting you, too.

It was hard to read that website.

It was lovely to meet you!

It was more like the beach volleyball scene from Top Gun.

It was nothing like Dog the Bounty Hunter.

It was out by Walnut Creek.

It was over there in Afghanistan.

It was really great meeting you.

It was so fancy they served Coca Cola with dinner.

It was so strange.

It will not disappoint.Hmm.

It would explain a lot.

It'd be cool if we had a magician.

It'll get done today.

It'll get in your heart and you'll die.

It'll grow on you.

It's 'cause Riley thinks he's always right.

It's a bowling ball!

It's a brand new car.

It's a cultural thing.

It's a detergent sensitivity.

It's a perfect apple.

It's a phone book, Hazel, and it's still perfectly useful.

It's a plate.

It's a present for me!

It's a sure cure for homesickness. Come on.

It's a traditional Afghan breakfast soup

It's a whole nation of people

It's aboveground.

It's awful. I hate it.

It's because I was an interpreter.

It's been, like, three years.

It's better for her

It's better than mermaids.Well,

It's burgundy.It's burgundy.

It's easier.

It's either him or me.

It's fine.

It's fine.It's fine.

It's for my ass, not yours.

It's free money take it!

It's genetic. Check out this cannonball.

It's genetic. You can do it, too.

It's gone.

It's got Hs where they don't belong.Eh.

It's hard to explain.

It's here!

It's here! It's here!

It's how we show affection.

It's humiliating.

It's in that fake thumb, right?

It's just a little complicated right now.

It's just a room.

It's just crunchy water.

It's just that I moved around a lot,

It's just, uh...

It's kind of a hobby.

It's kite flying day.

It's my favorite.

It's nice to know shallowness is international.

It's nice you found someone below you

It's not a party. We're fixing something.

It's not fair.

It's not gonna get any better. You got to get it checked out.

It's not like you haven't had your fun.

It's not the moon. We have Wi Fi.

It's not why I'm doing it,

It's okay with me if Freddy comes to the party.

It's okay, I'm done.

It's okay.

It's okay. It was no money down.

It's on the house.

It's one of the reasons she's hard on Riley.

It's only been a couple months.

It's open.

It's our dog. We found him.

It's really whatever Uncle Al wants.Okay...

It's socks.

It's still pretty new.

It's still service related.

It's taking every ounce of self control I have

It's tequila.

It's the one with the little window. Let me...

It's the same deal I got on my truck,

It's the wall that's not perfectly vertical.

It's tinnitus. They can't fix it.

It's true.

It's true.

It's true. I do not have my license.

It's under "special skills."

It's Vanessa.

It's very nice.

It's what you call checkers.

It's your birthday, too. What theme do you want?

Join the club.

Joke's on you. My back always hurts.

Judy Nordberg? I do her roots.

Just 'cause you wanted it?

Just a very sad boy who might be 28."

Just be prepared for people

Just before the sun came up, they came at us

Just do it.

Just don't be surprised

Just don't fill up. We got a lot of houses left.

Just drink your tea.

Just for fun, imagine you don't have a family.

Just for me.

Just for some roht?

Just give me a little time.

Just give me one.

Just give you a dollar?

Just got off the horn with the Columbus Dispatch.

Just got some groceries, came back and it wouldn't start.

Just how hard it must have been for you.

Just in case you Skyped her in the middle of the night.

Just kidding.

Just leave it alone, all right?

Just leave it alone. She's out of my league.

Just let me drive, man. I'll get us there in 90 minutes.

Just look at it and see where the water's coming out.

Just make sure the labels are facing out.

Just not ready.

Just outside Cleveland.

Just put in your employee number.

Just ring the bell.

Just so you know,

Just so you know, I had a little talk with Lizzie

Just take a left at this intersection.

Just tell her to call me, okay?

Just tell me.

Just tell me.

Just telling you how it's gonna go down.

Just to be clear, you're the moron.

Just visiting some Afghan friends.

Just, you know, get home safe.

Just, you know...

Kabul.

Karimi.

Karimi.

Kathy Sanchez,

Kids are the worst.

Kind of in the middle of a...

Kindest, funniest...

Kitchen.Come on, Skippy.

Knock yourself out. Ah.

Korea, Vietnam, Iraq.

Last day of being grounded, so...

Last time I was here.

Lay off me, man.

Leave it alone, Holly.No one is talking to you.

Let me ask you a question.

Let me ask you a question.

Let me give you a little hint.

Let me guess.

Let me know if I can help.

Let me see it.Hmm?

Let's do it.

Let's go find them.There's no way.

Let's go, Tubbs. [chuckles]

Let's just say she had big cans.

Let's just start fresh.

Let's not go by Grampy.

Let's talk about work.

Let's talk about your marriage.

Let's try for Sunday. I'll make dinner.

Liar. You should have said that first.

License and registration, please.

Life and death moments.

Light everything on fire and then leave.

Like a cooling off period or something?

Like how he thinks when you step on a shard of glass,

Like I don't know the sound of my own drill.

Like I never heard that before.

Like the last scene in a Bollywood movie.

Like we switched bodies.

Like when the supermarket has no g**** juice?

Like you could've stopped him.

Like you do with your father and grandfather.

Like you do.

Like?

Like?

Like... this?

Listed alphabetically from buzkashi to yo yo competitions.

Listen to you.

Listen, man, i it took me three years

Lived that a lot of years while you were gone.

Lives in the village of Eastmoor.

Lizzie, as the next youngest...

Lizzie, as the woman of the house,

Lizzie, come with us.

Lizzie, give him a raise.

Lizzie, if you please?

Lizzie, in my new car?

Lizzie, look what I got.

Lizzie, put everything back.

Lizzie, the whole time I served in Afghanistan

LIZZIE: Aw.

LIZZIE: Oh, my God, Dad!

LIZZIE: Oh, she spit up all down your back.

Lizzie!

Lizzie.

Lizzie...

Lizzie's got blue hair now.

Longest four seconds of my life.

Look at all this food.

Look at her. Come on.

Look at me, I am walking away.

Look at this.

Look at you. You are such a big girl.

Look at your two sleeping beauties.

Look on the bottom of page 30.

Look what I did.

Look what we found.

Look where its clean tongue is now.

Look who's back.

Look, I got Pilates in half an hour.

Look, I wish you'd just take a moment

Look, I'm done pussyfooting around.

Look, I'm fine. My life's fine.

Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, okay?

Look, if you were a bad parent,

Look, just 'cause I tell you something about Riley

Look, man, I know you're hurting,

Look, she'll never know what you went through,

Look, son...

Look, the car's brand new.

Look. This is on purpose.

Lose something?

Lots of people asking for my advice today.

Lots of rich people are jerks.

Love you, too.

Loving adults criticizing a child.

Low blood sugar.[fork clinks loudly on plate]

Lululemon.

Made it weird again.

Made of sheep's hooves.

Make fun of me, but I just found a falafel place

Make him feel like he did something.

Making art. Oh.

Making everything look nice.

Man, I hate that you have to work three jobs

Man, that is one happy kid.

MAN: G 48. G 48.

MAN: G 60.I don't know. I guess they didn't have a spark.

MAN: G 60.So, what about Barbara?

Manager to Checkout Three.

Many dresses that are the same size as you.

Many times.

Marines don't cry, Lizzie.

Mashallah.

Mashallah.

May I take a bite?

Maybe "Half ghanistan."

Maybe an "O."

Maybe be open to taking advice.

Maybe don't open with that.

Maybe I will start across the street.

Maybe I'm just a bad driver.

Maybe if we dip it in tea.

Maybe in this matter you're... not right.

Maybe include some pictures of him and Al in there.

Maybe my legs can inspire lust.

Maybe one day.

Maybe Sarge's family will take it.

Maybe she should not have let me in her house.

Maybe some tea?

Maybe that's how I pray.

Maybe the neighbor's cat.

Maybe they're just busy?

Maybe we can do something to take your mind off it.

Maybe we can go to the pharmacy

Maybe we should have listened to her.

Maybe you should try.

Maybe you'd like him more if you gave him a little pet.

Maybe you're not taking my concerns seriously.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Me and my dad just punch each other in the arm.

Me neither.

Me too.

Me, neither. Just here to finish the job.

Me, too.

Me, too.

Me, too. Anbar Province.

Me, too. But...

Me.

Meals ready to eat.

Measuring one yard by one yard.

Meet Barbara Anderson.

Methodical!

Might make you uncomfortable.

Migraines...

Mind if I join you?

Mind if I join you?Of course.

Mine is even better, but don't tell my father that.

Missing a community. Here's your community.

Mitch Culpepper's great grandson owns

Mitch's family owns Culpepper and Sons down at the mall.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. Everything is fine here, Riley.

Mm hmm.and every class you ever took,

Mm hmm.Helmand. Both of us.

Mm hmm.That's the "D" one.

Mm hmm.Where were you going?

Mm mm.

Mm mmm. Mm, dogs are not nice.

Mm, b better now that I found your father's restaurant.

Mm, check your contract.

Mm, he is modest, I am not.

Mm, it's hot cheese. What's not to like?

Mm, no one says that.

Mm, now I know why your father still talks to you.

Mm, you don't have to decide now.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm. And whose fault is that?

Mm. It is if you want to sell us this car.

Mm. It is not my place.

Mm. Let's see.

Mm. Mm.

Mm. Never mind. It was a bad idea.

Mm. That information helps me less today than yesterday.

Mm. That reminds me.Mm hmm?

Mm. That was poor judgment on your part.

Mm. What is this?

Mm.Ah. I know a trick I'd like him to do.

Mm.Not as striking as Barbara,

Mm.Or bad area,

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. Better.

Mmm. I still remember how spongey and delicious it was.

Mmm. Oh, yeah.

Mmm. This is good.

Mom says you saved Dad's life.

Mom told me this might happen.

Mom, there's a weirdo at the door!

Money for the pudding.

More abs.

More like grief.

More pool than we have now.

More sparkling cider.

More than anything in the world.

Morning, everyone.Hello, Mr. Art.

Morning.

Morning.

Morning.Good morning, Mr. Art.

Morning.Oh.

Most people do. I am very likable.

Mostly after midnight when the men of her family are asleep.

Mr. Art is off the market.

Mr. Art said he could get money for disability,

Mr. Art,

Mr. Art, are you serious?

Mr. Art, I will get another job.

Mr. Awa... Awal...

Mr. Awalmir Karimi.

MREs.

Mrs. Foster, Shawn!

Much like the rings on a tree,

Must have skipped a generation.

My ass is fine you want to see?

My boss thinks I'm at the orthodontist.

My bottom is getting warm.

My brother has songbirds,

My brother's a puppeteer, so that helps a lot.

My cheese spread and Skittles for your M&M's.

My dad loves me?

My dad's being honored at the OVP.

My daughter lives here, okay, so you can't just have random guys

My ex picked it out.

My family is in Afghanistan,

My friend Isha said that in ten years

My friend Riley saved my life on three separate occasions.

My love for you is fading.

My mom loved every dorky thing about him.

My mother has always wanted to go to Mecca.

My mother is upset with me.

My mother made these

My mother made you this dress with her own hands.

My mother said I was born at the beginning of the Civil War.

My mother said if it's possible,

My parents went to this fancy wedding.

My point is,

My point is...

My powder is very dry.

My record's 30.

My signature.

My sister and my buddy,

My sister's purse is open 24 seven.

My three o'clock.

My whole life, all I knew was war.

My wife bought this for me.

N 43.

N 43.How do you think it's going?

Nah, don't get your hopes up it's chicken fingers,

Nah, he likes to go by himself,

Nah, he says he does, but once he gets up there

Nah, it was, uh, months of boredom

Nah, it's just something Dad does.

Nah, no need.

Name is Bair, Zubair.

Named "Soul Crusher."

Neither will Vegas.

Never better.

Never mind, I'll tell you later.

Never mind.

Never? No.No. Yes.

Never.

New world, Babe. #MeToo.

Next time, ask?

Nice going.Nice going to you.

Nice try.

Nice try.

Nice try.Or the movies.

Nice. All right.

No additional changes can be made.

No bullets!

No bullets!

No different than someone wanting to park

No matter what I have, he always has to outdo me.

No matter what the squad did,

No metal.

No money down.

No nighttime hikes?

No one will marry you now.

No one's paying you to do pull ups.

No pork, no booze.

No purse nuts for anyone.

No room in my head. Too busy trying to stay alive.

No talking.

No way.

No way.

No way. You don't know how old you are?

No, anything, uh, service related,

No, are you?

No, bingo's a game.

No, but we are talking, which is a good first step.

No, but we still have to try.

No, don't call a plumber.

No, Freddy has known Hazel since she was a baby.

No, he's gonna be a pain in the ass for years to come.

No, he's in the mail room. Works the paper shredder.

No, he's refusing three times to be polite.

No, honey, I don't.

No, I climbed up the ladder, and I carried you down

No, I didn't.

No, I don't have to. It is already...No, no, no, no, no.

No, I don't.

No, I insist.Oh, baba, don't insult me.

No, I loved it.

No, I was an interpreter with the U.S. Marine Corps.

No, I will lay on you, man.

No, I'm just gonna wing it.

No, I'm not paying for a plumber.

No, I'm not.

No, I've got tabs for his chronic back pain,

No, I've never used a phone before.

No, if it rains, just go in the house.

No, it is not.

No, it is not. I pray all the time.

No, it is not. My legs do not inspire lust.

No, it is us who appreciate you.

No, it's an "A" and an "L".

No, it's level.

No, it's not the same as bagels.

No, it's not.

No, it's not.

No, it's on the right.

No, it's the damn couch.

No, just put that away.

No, just you. She did nothing wrong,

No, man, she's got her own personality.

No, man, that money isn't free.

No, no, give us a minute. Riley's about to eat it.

No, no, he means well.

No, no, I'm familiar.

No, no, it was her.

No, no, no, Al. Listen to me, man,

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no.

No, no, sir. It is a gift.

No, no, the last thing I do before I go to sleep

No, no, what he means is,

No, no. You are my guest.

No, normal's not the right word.

No, not really.

No, not you.

No, she doesn't.

No, she doesn't. She told me.

No, sir. It will not.

No, thank you.

No, thank you. I like having hands.

No, thank you. You already pay me

No, thanks.

No, thanks.

No, that's an effigy.

No, that's... I'm happy to do it.

No, the the other one.

No, this is all on me.

No, this is just one of his crazy things,

No, we are too busy.We have places to go.

No, we can just save him the omelet.

No, we're good.

No, why?

No, with this body, I will.

No, you don't understand.

No, you don't.

No, you knew nothing.

No, you know, it was just so easy with your mom.

No, you pushed me.

No, you stay with Dad and Hazel.

No, you're not.

No, you've talked enough.

No, your son should be sorry

No!

No! I want to see their legs.

No! No, no, no, no, no.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. And do not ask for it.

No. And quit asking.

No. Give it back. Give it back.

No. Hey, it's not a bad idea, baby. Hey.

No. I am afraid not.

No. I am glad.

No. I am trying to get rid

No. I just want to sit down a second.

No. I want your first time to be special.

No. No, I... need to keep busy.

No.It's mine.

No.Think about it.

No.Yes.

Nobody better be eating back there.

Nobody here asked me that.

Nobody is eating in my new car.

Nobody sends screaming baby videos

Nobody wants this dog. All right? He's got no tags,

None of the above, smart ass.

None of this is Freddy's fault,

None of this meter crap.

Nope, that's my grandma's.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope. I do.

Not a problem.

Not all the letters are colored in,

Not as funny.

Not even a little.

Not even a single bud from a thousand flowers of your life

Not even close.

Not everybody feels that way.

Not for a million dollars.

Not for a second.

Not for long.

Not good?

Not just that, but...

Not Michael Jordan.

Not now. I'm busy.

Not now.Sorry.

Not our Civil War.

Not really.

Not really.Well, that's too bad for you.

Not the time, Al.

Not this, not this. This.

Not to stuff him in that hat.

Not to worry, my father doesn't respect me.

Not today.

Not twice, but three times.

Not used. But the new models come in burgundy.

Not without assistance.What do you mean?

Not yet. Everyone has to gather first.

Not yet. We have to reserve a bounce house.

Nothing but net!

Nothing.

Nothing. Congratulations on selling out our country.

Nothing. I I do not know.

Nothing. Just making conversation.

Nothing. Nothing.

Now brush your teeth.

Now do you know?

Now eat.

Now he just seems lost.

Now I kind of want to hurt you.

Now I remember.

Now I'm freaking out about two things.

Now it's mine. Amazing!

Now let's talk about the avocados.

Now look at you, huh?Mm.

Now look back at me.

Now now look away.

Now say, "hi" to Daddy.

Now she gets paid to have dirty ears?

Now she has personality as well?

Now that his pal from Afghanistan got here.

Now that I think about it,

Now they're $2.50.

Now this is the fun part.

Now what?

Now what?

Now what'd you do?

Now you are sounding like a team.

Now,

Now, explain this game to me.

Now, I bet the women would like you as much now

Now, that is a drink for men.

Now, the risk is she says yes and falls in love with me.

Now, this can't happen again.

Now, we got to visualize the woods as a grid of squares

Now, why would you say that?

Now, would you mind shouting "bingo"?

Now...

O 62.Oh, no. We have that.

Of course he knew that.

Of course he's a jerk.

Of course not.Then maybe the warlords

Of course she didn't. She wanted to.

Of course she's happy.

Of course you did. How could I forget that?

Of course you have an iPad.

Of course, in Afghanistan, we were mostly dealing

Of course.

Of course.

Of course.

Of course. That's where I threw up.

Of course.Lizzie,

Of him doing 100 pull ups.

Of long term structural damage.

Of older single women?

Of the street, and all these cars were gonna hit it,

Of this disgusting wet ball, and he keeps bringing it back.

Of this family and he couldn't.

Oh, Al, I don't even know where to start.

Oh, and heads up I'm still doing 'em.

Oh, boy, I hope so.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Where do I begin?

Oh, buddy.

Oh, but this is how résumés are back home.

Oh, come on.

Oh, come on. I'll be 29 or 30.

Oh, come on.Anyways,

Oh, did you watch it without me?He picked...

Oh, don't get ahead of yourself.

Oh, don't let him tell stories

Oh, don't try and guilt me. Guilt's not gonna work.

Oh, drink up!

Oh, dude, the camera loves you.

Oh, Freddy is her "friend"

Oh, good girl. Let's elevate his leg, okay?

Oh, good, good, good.

Oh, good, you guys are here. I was up all night worrying.

Oh, good.

Oh, good. Now I can do my homework.

Oh, great.

Oh, great. Now I got to run power to this thing?

Oh, happy to do it.

Oh, Hassina, it is a wonderful place.

Oh, have fun.

Oh, hey, Al.

Oh, hey!Can't give him back to you.

Oh, I agree.

Oh, I am already in the middle.

Oh, I didn't want him to come with me,

Oh, I don't have any green tea.

Oh, I get it you are very stubborn

Oh, I get it.

Oh, I know Sandy Wilson. She's a widow, too.

Oh, I know what you want.

Oh, I know.

Oh, I love it there.

Oh, I really love it. Thanks again.

Oh, I thought he was gonna cry.

Oh, I want to introduce you to my daughter Ariana, bacheem.

Oh, I was really hoping to see her.

Oh, I wish you had not done that.Relax.

Oh, I... I gave it to Al.

Oh, is that Riley when he was a little boy?

Oh, it will be.

Oh, it's fine.

Oh, it's full of raisins.

Oh, it's not like that. You just shake some hands,

Oh, it's the most wonderful cake.

Oh, just, like, different clothes.

Oh, Lizzie, don't.

Oh, look at that.

Oh, look at this.

Oh, look,

Oh, look.

Oh, me, too?

Oh, morning.

Oh, my friend.

Oh, my God, somebody better grab his ankle.

Oh, my God. Hazel,

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You found them?!

Oh, my gosh. It's the terp.

Oh, nice.

Oh, no, she's not.

Oh, no, thank you.

Oh, no, we can't buy this.

Oh, no! What you gonna do about it?

Oh, no.

Oh, no. We are. We really are.

Oh, not always.

Oh, okay. She's definitely peeing on me right now.

Oh, perfect!

Oh, please tell me you didn't touch her.

Oh, please. I'm a great driver.

Oh, real mature.

Oh, really? No!

Oh, right, right. Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry.

Oh, right.

Oh, Riley.

Oh, Riley.

Oh, she has a pool.Mm.

Oh, she is going to love you.

Oh, she stinks. She gives out toothbrushes for Halloween.

Oh, she's at my folks'.

Oh, she's one of those.

Oh, shh, baby, shh.

Oh, shut up.

Oh, so Al doesn't qualify,

Oh, so cute.

Oh, so that's how you spell it.

Oh, so the price can change but only up.

Oh, sorry, I assumed you couldn't hear me.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, starting conversations.

Oh, stop selling.

Oh, sure.

Oh, sure.Yeah.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, thank goodness.

Oh, thank you, Riley Jaan.

Oh, thank you!

Oh, thank you.

Oh, thank you. Can I get you some water?

Oh, thank you.Yeah.

Oh, that broken heart needs healing.

Oh, that is not good.

Oh, that is okay.

Oh, that's amazing.

Oh, that's beautiful.

Oh, that's great.Mm.

Oh, that's so nice.

Oh, there is no level to which he will not stoop.

Oh, there you are.What's up?

Oh, there's a lot to see.

Oh, they are gambling?

Oh, they serve things other than liquor.

Oh, this looks so much better.

Oh, this...

Oh, uh, all of them. Be right back.

Oh, uh, hello.

Oh, uh, hey, don't tag me in any pictures.

Oh, um, by the way, Tom.

Oh, very good.

Oh, wait, where'd he go?

Oh, wait.

Oh, we thought he was so cool.

Oh, we're just teasing.

Oh, what is this, gum?

Oh, what time is it?

Oh, who's that? Is that, is that Lizzie?

Oh, whoa, whoa, let's get something straight here, okay?

Oh, why not? I did everything he did.

Oh, with that attitude, you will.

Oh, wonderful.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. You look just like your father.

Oh, yeah, Chanko's the guy who fixed our generator.

Oh, yeah, here they are.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah? Go in there and ask Hazel

Oh, yeah? Must be nice for them!

Oh, yeah?Mm hmm.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Definitely wow.

Oh, yeah. Hey.

Oh, yeah. That was the night we all had lamb kebabs.

Oh, yeah. That was the worst.

Oh, yes. Much better.

Oh, yes. Sorry.

Oh, yes. Uh, I I am so sorry.

Oh, you got it bad.

Oh, you moved the rug back.

Oh, you never have to ask an Afghan if they want tea.

Oh, you want to know how to do something, ask an expert.

Oh, you were in the neighborhood, huh?

Oh, you were thatkid.

Oh, you're serious?

Oh, zero is good. I would not have gone that high.

Oh, Zubair.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! How about a mermaid theme?

Oh! I hope you're happy.

Oh? With what paycheck?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Did you do something bad?

Oh. It's a real nice couch.

Oh. Marines.

Oh. Right, sorry.

Oh. Shouldn't you go with him?

Oh. Then no.

Oh. Well, how old is he?

Oh. Well, that's just great.

Oh. Well, then,

Oh. What's happening?

Oh. Yeah.

Oh...

Okay, Al, I wrote your check. It was not new car money.

Okay, all right, look at me.

Okay, but Uncle Al, this is a nice dog.

Okay, but w So then, you threw a grenade.

Okay, bye.

Okay, fine.

Okay, good. So I can assure Riley

Okay, got it.

Okay, how about a rabbit?

Okay, how much did you pay him?

Okay, I do miss the action.

Okay, I got to ask.

Okay, I have a really important question for you.

Okay, I need a favor.

Okay, I need to get back to work.

Okay, I see what you mean.

Okay, I'm gonna do a thing. Don't get mad.

Okay, I'm tagging out.

Okay, I'm trying really hardto understand here.Mm.

Okay, it's a little like that.

Okay, just send that one. Delete the others.

Okay, let's all take a breath.

Okay, let's just start over.

Okay, maybe it's broken!

Okay, Mom. Geez.

Okay, next question.Mm hmm.

Okay, now give me abs.

Okay, now I feel bad about this cereal.

Okay, now just me.

Okay, okay, we love each other.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay. It looks good, looks good.

Okay, okay...

Okay, Shawn, you are good.

Okay, so if I brought home a raccoon,

Okay, so so what was your job when you were five?

Okay, so this is every school you ever went to,

Okay, so you want to.

Okay, thank you.

Okay, thanks anyway.

Okay, that sucks. Can you stop the camera?

Okay, that's it.

Okay, that's too many abs.

Okay, this is my nightmare.

Okay, time to go.

Okay, um, hang on.

Okay, um...

Okay, we can figure this out.

Okay, well, if you guys will excuse us,

Okay, well, tell him to... dial it down.

Okay, well, that happens. Let's go home. [clears throat]

Okay, well, uh, what other kind of work have you done?

Okay, well, where is it leaking from?

Okay, what does this look like?

Okay, what else?

Okay, whatever he says, the answer is, "Yes, boss."

Okay, where's the punch for people who aren't driving?

Okay!

Okay?

Okay? You have no idea what you're stepping into.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. But she's still pretty young, right?

Okay. Come in.

Okay. Fine.

Okay. Now, this here, at the top

Okay. See you in the morning.

Okay. She's in the maybe pile.

Okay. So?

Okay. We're done here.

Okay. We've just got to find a way

Okay. Well, thank you.

Okay. Well, the point of my story still holds.

Okay. Well, this has been fun,

Okay. What is it called when you throw the ball

Okay. Why don't you put it in drive and slowly pull out.

Okay...

Okay... go.

Okay...What's that supposed to mean?

Okay.Okay.

Old school.

On a couch in his father's garage.

On a lawn mower you can ride.

On missions, I would hear them over the radio say,

On the battery terminal. Let's see here.

On the chain of command.

On the corner where the IHOP is.

On the down low until 2011.

On the other hand,

On the side of a boulder, opened it and been home.

On their doorstep with a bowl of rice pudding.

On what's going on.

On your date?

Once from red tape.

Once he even let me steer.

Once I was in the supermarket and... Oh, my God,

Once in survival training, I had to eat

Once, Gandhi didn't eat for 21 days.

Once, I flunked on purpose to piss off my dad.

Once, I was high.

Once, we were on mounted patrol,

One bacon cheeseburger, extra greasy.

One day,

One day, I can't get out of bed.

One day, I hear him using it, so I bolt over there

One drawn on a large piece of paper.

One more. Yeah.

One of those is a milestone.

One page?

One peep out of us, we are dead men.

One shot, 150 yards.

One shot.

One shot.

One that I will never see again.

One time, he vanished from school,

One, two, three.

Only 20 people a year die from dog bites.

Only if you promise to take it for a test drive.

Only need, like, one page.

Only thing missing is a helicopter pad.

Onstage and he feels

Ooh, after the candy comes out, can we set it on fire?

Ooh, I could totally see you in this one.

Ooh, I don't know. Bingo?

Ooh, I'll bet you saw a lot of action, huh?

Ooh, let's do that.

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Ooh, sheer berenj, huh?

Ooh, that something you eat or smoke?

Ooh, that was a good episode. Mm.

Ooh, that was my fault.

Ooh, that's exactly the kind of intel we need, Hazel.

Ooh, that's setting a dangerous precedent.

Ooh, this is a good one.Mm.

Ooh, we might want to get on that fast.

Ooh, would you see if she has any licorice?

Ooh!

Ooh!Huh?

Ooh.[hisses]

Opening with a joke.

Optimistic?

Or 29.

Or as you military folks call it, "chow."

Or better yet, order a pizza.

Or don't come back."

Or however long dogs live.[laughs]

Or I am walking away.

Or I will fix it myself. I have a hammer in my pocket.

Or in the way that makes you happy?

Or is that serious?

Or less destructive.

Or more of them.

Or the veggie and cheese omelet?

Or we can take him out to the woods

Or you can just ask her out.

Orange Bravo Seven.

Other than wanting to be like her dad

Our first choice is a charming

Our house was destroyed not once,

Outside.

Over here, that's sometimes the last time

Over there in Iraq.

Overachiever, eh?

Ow!

Ow.

Pairs well with popcorn.

Pants.

Part of his culture, Dad. They're very polite.

Paula, what is the coolest car you have been in?

Payday.

People are gonna say I am American. Ah.

People bring you food because they want to know

People don't stop for traffic lights in Afghanistan?

Pepper shaker.

Perfect world, perfect credit.

Perfect world. You went, and now you feel great.

Pick a side, dude.

Picked the baby up from her mom's, got her to bed,

Picture this:

Playing fetch?

Please do not do that, Mr. Art.Why not?

Please don't accuse me of something and walk away.

Please don't make this a big deal.

Please stop asking me that.

Please, Fred is my father.

Please, how much do we owe you for this wonderful meal?

Please, I insist.

Please, let me get you some tea.

Please?

Please. Let's not go down this road again.

Plus, she does not want to get married.

Point at the ground, turn it on.

Point is, he's leaving money on the table.

Point is, he's returning it.

Pooped.Pooped.

Post the colors.

Pray.

Preferably with a radio.

Pretty sure that's you.

Probably for half of what you paid.

Probably shouldn't have done that, either.

Probably.

Pull over, pull over!What?

Punctuated with the worst days of my life.

Puts me too far from the bathroom.

R Riley, for years, all I heard about

Raided people's homes, shot innocent farmers.

Raising a kid can be like a war.

Ready to get started?

Real money. Boat money.

Real nice, you know. Eh.

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really? How do you know this?

Really? Huh. Oh...

Really? No one's gonna talk about it?

Really? The Bachelor. The Bachelorette.

Really? Wow.

Really? You just got here, and you're busting my chops.

Really?RILEY: Mm.

Really?Yeah. Go ahead.

Really.

Relax, he's a grown man.

Relax. I'm just giving you a hard time.

Remember when we rushed him to the ER

Remember when you were little

Remember you always tell me

Remember, if you puke, you're out.

Right behind her belly button.

Right now he's at zero with me.

Right this way.

Right, 'cause you had plans.

Right, Al?Yes.

Right?

Right?

Right.

Right.

Right.

Riley can't follow me.

Riley getting ready?

Riley jaan,

Riley Jaan,

Riley jaan,I have been in many moments with you.

Riley offended Lizzie on my behalf.

Riley said he forgot his first appointment.

Riley told me teasing is how you show love.

Riley,

Riley,

Riley, Al, I want you to meet some of our major donors.

Riley, did you know

Riley, get up, we're going home.

Riley, have you written your speech?

Riley, I can't...No, no.

Riley, I do not want your sister to think I believe

Riley, I don't interrupt you

Riley, I have to own this car.

Riley, I know how to negotiate.No, I know you do,

Riley, I... I cannot accept that.

Riley, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life.

Riley, it is all right.

Riley, of course I'm on your side.

Riley, Riley, Riley.

Riley, take a picture of me with the lawn mower.

Riley, what is that wonderful word?

Riley, you are getting a call from someone

Riley, you got me out.

Riley, you spent all that time

Riley, you spilled my tea!

RILEY: Oh, relax, man.

RILEY: What is it?

Riley!What? Kenny's got a boat.

Riley?

Riley.

Riley.

Riley.

Riley...

Riley's medical records.

Riley's tinnitus is back.

Road Runner and Coyote.

Robert John Davis,

Roht.

Run around like crazy people,

Rustling through the trees.

S... I'm so sorry.

Said I have to wear a boot for a couple of weeks.

Salaam, Khala Jaan.

Salaam,Hassina.

Salaam.

Salaam. Oh, wait.

Same as if you fall.

Same idea, but it hurts more.

Same thing I always do with you waiting to be yelled at.

Save some of that charm for her.

Saw this attractive woman.

Say again?

Says who? We're separated.

Screw you. I'm not a child.

Seal it up, lean it against a rock or something,

Second in line to be my best friend.

See this little flower between the two birds?

See you in an hour.

See?

See?

See?

Seems a little better

Seems good. He's talking, she's laughing.

Seems like a useless feature,

Seems like we got the music right.

Send it home.

Sergeant, we didn't ask you here just to look pretty.

Seriously, I'm your father.

Seriously, of all the guys in the world,

Seriously?

Seriously?

Seriously?

Seriously?

Sexy boring.

Sh She is kind and smart and beautiful.

Shall I start work tomorrow?

Shapes wants to talk.

Shawn here is an excellent employee.

Shawn says I have a lot of potential.

Shawn told me there are bounce houses with slides.

She brought it up.

She can happily run and get it for them.

She does not see you rubbing Mr. Art's feet.

She doesn't deserve you.

She doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

She got a great car.

She had no ax.

She had that one locked and loaded.

She hasn't done anything I've asked her to do

She hates that guy.

She helps kids safely cross the street.

She is a big fan of Miami Vice.

She is a few years away from being a bank robber.

She is not walking towards the school.

She is spoiled.

She likes you. Who doesn't like you?

She looks like a Smurf.

She needs to know her place in the family.

She only acts that way when you're around.

She put in the time.

She quit Girl Scouts when she found out

She said I should stop being selfish,

She screwed up. We both made mistakes.

She should sit closest to the kitchen

She used to be a crossing guard at my junior high.

She wants to quit her job at the hospital

She was always laughing and cooing.

She was wearing shorts.

She was wearing shorts.

She was wearing shorts.

She wears a bra.

She would like to live in Florida.

She'll be right back.

She's a beauty, isn't she?

She's a child. She doesn't know anything.

She's a very nice woman from a very nice family

She's American young. She's Afghan expired.

She's from an Afghan family,

She's gonna be fine.

She's gonna grow into whoever she's supposed to be.

She's not my girlfriend.

She's not the one that got hammered

She's real nice.

She's she's a great gal. I'm...

She's single.

She's working with this vaccination program, but I keep

Shir berenj.

Shoot.

Short?

Should we put your signature on it, make it official?

Should've held out for the hunting cabin.

Show me your hands.

Shut up, Al!Stay out of this.

Siéntate Hazel, silencio.

Since Michael died.

Since she was a little girl, and I told her "jalapeño"

Since when did adult kids living at home beat pool?

Sir, I jumped through hoops to get him what he asked for.

Sit tight. I'll get you those chocolate chips.

Sit.

Sitting comfortably in the government,

Six years?Straight through.

Sleeping with women you don't love.

Sleepless nights are just part of being a military family.

Slowly becoming giant chandeliers

Smart.

So am I.

So cute.

So did you do construction back home?

So God wants me to be an idiot?

So he can complain about us.

So here's the rundown uh...

So how do you like America?

So I bought myself a slice of cake

So I can get to know them.

So I crawl out, and that's when I realize

So I guess you're not sleeping.

So I just lie there a while, you know...

So I need your help

So I told him I was going to a pork restaurant.

So I took it, and I said thank you.

So I want to talk to you about something.[groans]

So I'll know almost immediately if it's not level.

So I'm just gonna sit here with you for a while.

So I'm not messing her up somehow?

So I'm staring at her, and I don't notice

So it's always a good conversation starter.

So it's hard going from all that to...

So listen, I was, uh, thinking about your offer.

So my father tells me you're from Kabul.

So my problems are your problems.

So now it's, "You don't ask, I do tell."

So now you know how I feel.

So she can join a program that gives children polio vaccines.

So she yelled "Bingo."

So that Dad can watch it later.

So that if anyone needs anything,

So the most secure location is...

So the people in Kabul call us Kandaharis

So the third time I said, "Go to the doctor

So they can become doctors and lawyers.

So this means "I love you more"?

So this means "I love you"?

So this music is like Afghan Adele.

So we can do a little boxing.

So we could all talk.

So we're not getting that job back.

So what can I do for you, Al?

So what did he do?

So what do you do?

So what happened?

So what happened?

So what I'm hearing is, nobody knows the future.

So what?

So what'd the doc say?

So what's your idea?

So when the Americans came, we hoped things would be better.

So why don't you?

So worked up about this fundraiser.

So you can say that and not "We're so glad you're here"?

So,

So,

So, Al, besides your family,

So, any prospects?

So, are you seeing anybody?

So, do you think it looks like Afghanistan?

So, do you think you will call her Barbara or Mom?

So, have you decided who to invite to our party?

So, Hazel, how is it going with your Sergeant?

So, how old are you?

So, how's Ohio?

So, I just wanted to introduce myself.

So, if he won't let me call him a hero...

So, Maggie, what else can I tell you?

So, my parents they shared one bottle

So, now that I have you trapped in the car,

So, Riley told me that he and Al

So, Riley,

So, Riley, I hear that you were quite the hero

So, Shawn...

So, tell me more about your Corollas.

So, the people in America think I'm Afghan,

So, this is the monthly fee?

So, wait, you were the calm guy

So, we were out riding bikes,

So, we're flying low level with NVGs

So, what do you say?

So, what happened?

So, what is it you like about this friend Isha?

So, what's going on with your family?

So, what's up with your sister?

So, when you ladies aren't playing bingo,

So, you are going to have to choose.

So, you mean you weren't really crazy about my pot roast?

So, you said you were

So?So I almost had a heart attack.

So...

So...

Some breakfast ice cream.

Some other things, too.

Somebody forgot to wash their ears.

Somebody won.

Someday I hope to have a wife

Something else.

Something has gone wrong with it.

Something is easier than a hammer?

Something on your mind?

Something smells good.

Sometimes I would have dreams that he was home

Sometimes life is just complicated and sad.

Sometimes they add pine nuts and cardamom and rosewater.

Sometimes they move back into your garage

Sometimes we only hear what we want to hear.

Son of a bitch, you are supposed to honk. He's right.

Son of a bitch.

Sorry about Freddy the other day.

Sorry to bother you. She forgot her math book.Ah.

Sorry, can't hear you!

Sorry, did I wake you?

Sorry, Hazel! I can't hear you!

Sorry, hell yes.

Sorry, that's mine.

Sorry, this is my baby boy.No, no, no.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry.[scoffs]

Sorry.Oh, it's fine.

Sound just like Winston Churchill.

Sounds like a banjo, but I'm betting it isn't.

Sounds like an Afghan man.

Speaking of being a great dad,

Speaking of dating,

Speaking poorly of someone in your family

Spinach.I don't like spinach.

Stay frosty, snowman.

Stay here, I'll be right back.

Still nothing?No.

Still thinking about those legs?

Stop bringing it to me.

Stop doing that "why" thing.

Stop finding loopholes.

Stop interrupting me.

Stop it, you two.

Stop trying to ruin this.Riley, pipe down, will you?

Straight to the dry cleaners.

Strong family unit.

Stuff that would...

Sucking people's blood?

Suddenly you have nothing to say?

Suddenly, these tracers start zipping over our heads.

Sugar and what you call organic butter.

Suit yourself.

Summer's coming.What do you mean?

Sunrise Surprise.

Supposed to rain later. Maybe we should wait.

Sure, like Texas.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure. And and then, we could have painted a door

Sure. You got one in mind?

Sure.Okay.

Survey the terrain.

T A L K I N G.

Ta da!

Take a bow. [chuckles][applause]

Take a shower.

Take it or I'll never come back here.

Take it.

Take it.

Take it.

Take my own advice? Not now.

Take off my socks and rub my feet.

Take your hands off the wheel and your foot off the gas.

Taking this old clock apart.

Taking up space in an already broken system.

Talk about what?

Talk to me, Bertha.

Target, one o'clock.On it.

Tater, put him down.

Tater, you're sweating already.

Tater...

Tater's here.

Tax receipts, like you asked for.

Ted owns the Chevy dealership out on Route 23.

Tell 'em what you did over there!

Tell her Tater's here.

Tell him what?

Tell me everything.

Tell me I'm wrong.

Tell them to mow their lawn.

Telling her she could be a doctor.

Telling stories about World War II.

Telling who?

Tells you everything you need to know about them.

Ten months later, your brother was born.

Ten, 11 years?

Than an actual father.

Than I signed up for.

Than you and I put together.

Than your father.

Thank you for doing this.

Thank you for fighting for America.

Thank you for fighting for us.

Thank you for keeping my brother safe.

Thank you for making me dinner.

Thank you for the history lesson you learned from a book.

Thank you for this wonderful honor.

Thank you for your service.

Thank you for your service.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, Art.

Thank you, Bertha.

Thank you, brother.Yes, thank you.

Thank you, Gunny.Keep it clean.

Thank you, ladies and germs![applause]

Thank you, Mrs. Foster.

Thank you, you are also very handsome.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. I'm Paula. I'll be your examiner today.

Thank you.Mm hmm.

Thank you.Mm hmm.

Thank you.RILEY: Thanks.

Thank you.You know, this might be an indication

Thanks for stopping by.

Thanks for the break. All right.

Thanks to you.

Thanks, Grampy.

Thanks, Lizzie.Is he gonna be okay?

Thanks, sis.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks. But I'm, uh, fine flying solo.

Thanks. Mm hmm.

Thanks.Mm.

That ain't right.

That direction.

That does not bode well.

That dog has his own home. I live in a garage.

That dog has to belong to somebody,

That dog might be really good for Hazel.

That explains it. This is just within ten miles.

That Freddy is an immigrant, also?

That girl is out of control.

That guy does not deserve this bathroom.

That guy is a gift from God.

That helps.

That I would put ten bucks on.

That is a very silly man.

That is all very moving.

That is good. Thank you.

That is how we greet people in my country.

That is me.

That is not crazy.

That is not what I meant. You are still very young.

That is notin the book.

That is so hard for me to wrap my head around.

That is true.

That is what the Taliban does,

That is where they live.Well, they shouldn't.

That is why all your lemonade stands don't work on me.

That make fresh bread topped with poppy seeds,

That makes me happy.

That means, "Sit down and shut up, Hazel."

That Memphis barbecue is basically the same?

That might be helpful for the future.

That might work.

That must be it.

That one is you and that one is Riley.

That quality outweighs all others.

That right there should be a perfect 90 degree angle.

That says "I love you" over her house.

That says I cannot ridea roller coaster

That sells peanut butter andbrings it to you on a forklift?

That sounds like you picking.

That sucks.

That there is nothing going on with you and Freddy.

That this chicken will be five dollars.

That toilet washes my tush.

That was a lie. Here's the car.

That was a turning point in the Cold War.

That was close.

That was going to be your media room, and never leave.

That was Hazel's idea. She asked him.

That was not fair.

That was offered to me when I came to this country.

That was yesterday.

That wasn't me.

That won't even cover all of my awards from primary school.

That would make our year.

That'd show 'em.

That's a great idea.

That's a great question.

That's a nice shirt, Mr. Art.

That's a noisemaker. You spin it.Hmm.

That's a trap never go for the omelet.

That's a weird thing to imagine,

That's all I wanted to hear.Yeah.

That's all that counts.

That's basically why I had kids.

That's child labor.

That's completely hypocritical.

That's Emily.

That's fetch.

That's good. Now say something to him.

That's great, buddy.

That's great.

That's great.

That's how I felt when I was first deployed.

That's how long it's gonna take to find the dog tags.

That's impossible.

That's it?

That's just woods. Who has a party in the woods?

That's me!

That's me.

That's money that's owed me.

That's Mr. Art's favorite.

That's my girl.

That's nice.

That's not a cake. That's a muffin.

That's not important.

That's not true. We got a great price.

That's not true.That's stupid.

That's terrible.

That's the mission. Can you handle it?

That's the one.

That's the only one you get.

That's the source of all your cost overruns.

That's three in a row!

That's too bad.

That's what Bobby Finnigan said on prom night.

That's what happens when your dad cuts your hair

That's what he tried to do with me.

That's what I said.

That's what she wants. What do you want?

That's who he is, Riley.

That's why you were brass.

That's your name.

That's, uh...

The "feelings crap" binder.

The 17,000 Afghan interpreters still waiting for visas

The American government created.

The Americans tortured Afghans,

The answer is both.

The answer is low beams.

The best way we know how,

The big deal is birthdays are great.

The bowling ball is yours to keep. Happy birthday, amigo.

The computer doesn't let us.

The consequences of that more than anyone else.

The coyote is doomed to repeat his mistakes.

The dad who got her a dog or the mom who got her homework?

The dead guys who built this house a hundred years ago?

The deal? Did your brain get to 12 and just stop?

The first time you took me camping,

The good beer I usually hide from you.

The guy at the store

The guy was a real jerk.

The guy who sold it to me even said

The hell I'm not.

The interest rate increases

The letter is G and the number is 48.

The love of your life is gone,

The lunch rush is coming in soon.

The magic thing.

The Marines got eight months on, eight months at home.

The money comes from the rich guy.

The neighbors will think you are a savage.

The new guy dropped a grenade.

The next, I got to ride my motorcycle as fast as it'll go.

The old L3 is acting up.

The one downstairs doesn't.

The one they gave us.[laughs]

The only reason you still have your teeth

The order should be the youngest by the kitchen,

The point is, we did not trust each other then.

The reason he is debasing himself

The second time he didn't even pretend to forget.

The smoke would give away our position to the enemy.

The stress knocked him out.

The stubbornness I see in you

The system works.

The Taliban were wearing pants.

The Taliban who bomb crowded markets?

The theme has to tell the people at your party what you're into.

The TV is over there.

The warlords also liked me and not him.

The whole city was blacked out.

The whole time I was deployed.

The woman that gave you the test clearly had an ax to grind.

The woman was so close, I could touch her.

The women's basketball team.

The worst.

The wrinkles on your grandfather's face

Their lives are still in danger.

Then again, I'm not a quitter.

Then all of the metal would fly out of the ground right to you.

Then every day's my birthday.

Then how do you deal with all your feelings?

Then my flight got canceled, and I waited six hours

Then no.

Then put makeup on before she went to sleep

Then reappeared in a police station.

Then the guest, then the elders.

Then the parents,

Then there is no level to which I will not stoop.

Then there will be a slideshow presentation,

Then two hours to Heathrow,

Then we will have a party.

Then we'll sweep that section by the rock.

Then what do you need the bucket toilet for?

Then what do you want?

Then why is he sleeping with other women?

Then yes, of course I want her back.

Then you'll be the girl at school with no face.

Then, Riley, I cannot play. It is against my religion.

Therapy's over.

There are 28 types of spaghetti sauce.

There are no "what ifs" in Islam?

There are these colorful mountains all around the city,

There he is, there he is.

There he is!

There he is.

There is no burning man.

There is no need.

There is no prepayment penalty.

There isn't.

There it is.

There she is, Mr. Art.

There was a guy in my neighborhood growing up

There was a lot of walking.

There was so much hope.

There wasn't.

There you go.

There you go.

There, I just saved you weeks

There, that's nice.

There. Now you speak more Pashto

There's a guy in Bridge Park who needs a burrito.

There's a reason you're not dating.

There's an open cellar door in the sidewalk.

There's no deep end.

There's no participation ice cream.

There's nothing wrong with this wall.

There's one.

There's probably a family out there looking for Sarge.

There's still one in the freezer.

These are my friends, Mr. Dugan, his daughter Lizzie,

These are on sale. What about these?

These are standard issue.

These avocados were two dollars each

They almost got hit by a truck.

They are safe for now, inshallah. Where?

They are taking X rays.

They are these little shops on every corner

They are waiting for their visas.

They are wild animals who travel in packs

They backed bin Laden, the Taliban, the warlords,

They broke up.

They do like to hang out with you

They do so much good.

They do.

They don't, huh? No.

They fly, they sing,

They go shorter?!

They got tricks you haven't seen before.

They have an apple flavor.

They have roht?

They make you feel great.

They must have fallen off somewhere.

They said I got one wrong,

They should call it something else.

They were baby recruitment videos.

They were so smooth

They will grow in any direction you bend them.

They will like me and they will like my pudding.

They would have followed him anywhere.

They would use it against us, and there was no way

They'd have called by now.Okay.

They'll give her nightmares.

They're cute and furry, and if it doesn't work out,

They're fine now.

They're gonna have Frisbee at the Olympics,

They're resting up until you come home.

They're still shooting at us.

They're stu pun dous.

They're the original remote control.

Think of it as your ear reminding you

Think of it like your marriage.

This becomes a business meeting

This creature and I cannot live under the same roof.

This family is all about problems.

This guy fill out so much paperwork

This is a bad idea. Why?

This is a bag of garbage.

This is a nice young man who just arrived from Afghanistan,

This is a wonderful honor.

This is about you trying to make her mother look bad.

This is all my fault.

This is all so crazy to me. No money down?

This is all your fault.

This is Awalmir.

This is different. I'm fine.

This is gonna end very badly.

This is gonna help us.

This is hard to look at.

This is his house.

This is homemade roht.

This is hopeless. Just put that stupid thing away.

This is in, like, those movies

This is just a rough patch.

This is just typical Riley.

This is more of a memoir.

This is my fault.

This is my first time working with a married couple.

This is my nightmare.

This is nice.

This is not about you.

This is Pam Douglas.

This is passable.

This is really fun.

This is serious.

This is so wonderful.

This is terrific!

This is the contract I signed when I bought my truck.

This is what your children are for.

This is where he changed.

This is where you're supposed to agree with me.

This is?

This isn't about your dad loving you.

This isn't really how we do résumés here.

This name?

This one just says "Chanko."

This only started since we were separated.

This smells like paint thinner.

This will go better if you smell nice.

This year they want to honor you guys.

Those are your words.

Those babies in the Air Force cry

Those six years were not easy for Vanessa.

Those were curated, you ding dong.

Thought I'd lose it?

Thought you were going to handle it.

Thousands of miles away from home,

Through a field full of sheep.

Through a mortar attack. And even under fire,

Through a tiny New York.

Through broken glass to save her.

Through Taliban controlled territory.

Through the zodiac compatibility calculator?

Throw it to me.

Till you take the car back.

To a party in honor of myself.

To American chicks on the street.

To answer that, I have to tell a story.

To apply for a visa and have to convince the CIA

To appreciate how great this is for Hazel.

To be closer to the front door.

To break it to Dad in the gentlest possible...

To bring ice cream to somebody's grave?

To come to this country.

To fill gaps in conversation.

To get his thumb sewed back on?

To get that number forever.

To get this clown out of there.

To get us a better price.

To get you here. You ever see him try

To help me help him get help.

To introduce you to Arthur Dugan.Hello, Arthur.

To know that the monthly payments are almost the same?

To look like his head?

To make it last longer.

To Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight."

To see if Lizzie asked about him.

To some homemade chorizo.

To spell "Afghanistan" after three shots of whiskey?

To their husbands overseas, because they'd never come home.

To think it's a little weird you showing up

To treat loved ones to good food.

To try to resolve disputes.

Today, it's a brand new used car.

Today, we are allin the Air Force.

Todd.

Told her she was a knockout.

Too bad the ground's not wet.

Too late. You made it one.

Top of the pile.

Touch his foot with your foot

Tough crowd.

Traditionally, men get green tea and women are served black tea.

Training for battle.Uh huh.

Translators are getting killed almost every day.

True.

Truly, Mr. Art, I see you as a father,

Trust is earned.

Try the hands free option.

Try the seat warmer.

Try to get some sleep.

Trying to make our way back

Tsanga ye?Eh?

Tsanga yee.

Turn on the radio.

Turn the water off.

Tw twenty seven.

Twice from gunfire,

Two alpha."

Two signs for the price of one.

Ugh, no.

Ugh!

Ugh.

Ugh.

Ugh.

Ugh. Another bottle cap.

Ugh. Come on. I'm not ready for another round.

Ugh. Honor.That's right.

Uh huh, my pad was the earth and I used a rock for a pillow.

Uh, can I get you something?

Uh, Hazel, why did your grandfather

Uh, Hazel's not lonely.

Uh, how much what?

Uh, I was probably five or six.What?

Uh, is he in the CIA?

Uh, it made me a man, taught me accountability.

Uh, it's Pashto.

Uh, it's pronounced "Hollywood."

Uh, just down the street. I'm out of beer.

Uh, just everything between "Jo Quincy Motors" and..

Uh, just let me do the talking, okay?

Uh, just make sure the counter is level.

Uh, Mom, get a picture of me and Dad.

Uh, Mr. Art, please wait.Yeah.

Uh, Muscles and Mohammad again.

Uh, my song is on I got to go dance.

Uh, n nothing I can do about the avocados,

Uh, no, Hazel, I don't.

Uh, no, uh, I have other things

Uh, no.

Uh, not really.

Uh, not tomorrow. After three or four dates.

Uh, Officer, I'm s I'm sorry.

Uh, pretty good.

Uh, probably shouldn't have told you that.

Uh, promo code is "American Hero."

Uh, Riley, are you not too drunk to drive?

Uh, Riley, I'm curious,

Uh, she is the one who should be getting you juice.

Uh, sit down.

Uh, sometimes the whole city loses power.

Uh, this looks like grueling work for one man to do alone.

Uh, well, I... I did have a couple questions.

Uh, what I'm trying to say is

Uh, which page is your résumé?

Uh, you choose.

Uh... Ah.

Uh... cheers.Cheers.

Ultimately, there was probably an underlying drainage issue

Um, a a Coca Cola, please.Yeah.

Um, can I talk to you for a minute?

Um, his sabzi is as good as my mother's.

Um, I do not know. It just is.

Um, yeah, maybe.

Um, you gonna try to guilt me into going back?

Um...

Um... I don't think so.

Uncle Al says we have to stand because you're old.

Uncle Al, do you know how many days until my birthday? Eight.

Uncle Al?Hmm?

Understood.

Unfortunately, that isn't included in the base price.

United States wasn't sleeping with Great Britain's wife.

Until I caught her eye, and then for a few weeks,

Until I fall asleep?

Until I get a proper office with a door, yeah.

Until I told you.

Until I walked into this room,

Until you change your attitude.

Up to 20% after six months.

Upgrade.

Us knuckleheads are always gonna be here.

Use the top notch epoxy.

Used to call me Mr. Fart.

USMC. Retired.

Usually.

Usually.

V.A. thing.

Vanessa said that Hazel invited him to the party.

Vanessa worked 12 hours a day,

Vanessa,

Vanessa, having tea is an important part of my culture.

Vanessa, you are as wonderful a woman as Riley always said.

Vanilla cake.Deal.

Very clever.

Very long. Why?

Very nice.

Wait till you see boobs.

Wait, hold on, let me see what I...

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, we need Lizzie.

Wait, you're still paying on that?

Waiting to be attacked.

Walking around a sharp coffee table.

Walt over there in the corner was World War II. Hey, Walt!

Want me to make you some breakfast?

Want some company?

Want to come in? I'm making breakfast. Mm.

Want to know the secret ingredient?

Want your car washed?

Was at their wedding.

Was how much you love and miss her.

Was I naive?

Was inviting us in or trying to warn us.

Was it hard for you when your father was so far away?

Was one of the most wonderful things I've ever seen.

Was she wearing a ring?

Was so convincing. I was like, "What?!"

Was Spanish for candy.

Was that his, too?

Washington D.C.,Las Vegas.

Watching my dad get up off the floor

Watching the sun set

Way to dream big.

We advance in a different direction.

We all brought our cups,

We all know that's a lie.

We always do.

We are fixing your marriage.

We are looking for the three Gs:

We are on the same side!

We are so blessed to have walked away with our lives.

We are walking away.

We can call it now and come back in the morning.

We can make it a real "roht" trip.

We can't build a fire.

We could buy it back from you,

We could have won the microwave,

We could not get it out.

We couldn't make it work.

We danced in the streets.

We defeated them.

We do not get involved in each other'’s love lives.

We don't know, but we're hoping

We found you some women you can date and no longer be lonely.

We gave it a bath. [clears throat]

We go without him sometimes for the same reason.

We got to be methodical.

We got to switch weekends.

We had venison hamburgers for, like, two years.

We have a, uh...

We have just agreed

We have some candidates, but we need to vet them.

We have the best cherries in the world,

We helped each other.

We just got a call about Sarge.

We make a good team.

We need to talk.

We only got one spaghetti.

We really appreciate you guys doing this.

We should all kneel at his feet and learn from him.

We should've brought him a welcome gift.

We talked about this. No alcohol.

We took tiny sips, and every time we took a sip,

We wash our dishes

We watched a lot of true crime shows.

We went around the block a few times with full packs.

We were not only risking our lives,

We were putting the lives of our families in danger.

We were the eyes and ears of American troops.

We weren't even allowed to listen to music.

We won.

We would be able to help the Americans be more effective.

We would put a little water into it

We'll find his owner.

We'll fix it, get it how you want.I hope so.

We'll get your whole family out, too.

We'll have a party together.

We'll know she's traditional.

We're almost done.

We're dating now.

We're getting somewhere. Move aside.

We're gonna fire up those endorphins.

We're gonna go to the restroom

We're gonna make a splint.

We're gonna start that security company and get rich.

We're gonna start the slideshow. Lizzie, you ready?

We're in one right now.

We're not getting a bird.

We're not going to get into a fight.

We're out of staples.

We're separated.

We're so proud of you.

We're supposed to be camping.

We've been over this a hundred times.Mm hmm.

We've been walking back and forth for three hours.

Welcome to America, Al.

Welcome to the party. Come on in.

Welcome. My name is Kasim.

Well news flash no guy likes to just hang out with you.

Well, all that's left is lawyer.

Well, at least think about it.

Well, can I have it?

Well, did you know, in Ohio,

Well, didn't work out.

Well, didn't you once charge a bunch of Taliban

Well, do not blame yourself, even I lose track of

Well, feel free to show her how that's done.

Well, fine, give 'em a big smile

Well, first of all...Aw, geez.

Well, give it to me. That's personal.

Well, good. Come on, then,

Well, he also puts mayonnaise on pretzels.

Well, he's a piece of work, huh?

Well, he's a sergeant. Shouldn't he live in barracks?

Well, he's got a long way to go.

Well, higher ground

Well, how do you know when you don't know how old you are?

Well, how much time you need?

Well, I am afraid that

Well, I am praying now.

Well, I don't like him.

Well, I don't like raisins. They're too gross.

Well, I don't want you to be selfless.

Well, I give you my blessing.

Well, I got a truck out front. We can do that.

Well, I need to do it more.

Well, I suppose you could say, Mr. Ted,

Well, I think it's repulsive

Well, I was an 18 year old Marine

Well, I was born in Kandahar, but my family moved to Kabul.

Well, I was trying to build bridges, babe.

Well, I'm having more fun!HAZEL: No,

Well, I'm not.

Well, if I was trying to be funny, I'd say...

Well, if that were true, you'd be, like, 150 years old.

Well, isn't that revolting.

Well, it totally blows.

Well, it was eight hours from Kabul to Hamburg,

Well, it's a choice between you and neither of us.

Well, it's a temporary solution.

Well, it's better than bagging and cleaning toilets.

Well, it's nice to meet you, Awalmir.

Well, it's not "R H O T" 'cause I googled that,

Well, it's practically free.

Well, it's your first birthday.

Well, let me pay you for the tea and roht.

Well, let's figure it out. What do you want?

Well, listen, don't feel bad.

Well, make up your mind.

Well, maybe if Great Britain had a hot sister...

Well, maybe things will look different

Well, maybe you don't get it.

Well, mybirthday's coming up.

Well, no problem. Where was this party?

Well, not to brag, but none of my furniture farts.

Well, now we know where they're not.

Well, of course he does.

Well, okay, don't worry. They'll turn up.

Well, she didn't have to do that.

Well, she won't be back in the morning.

Well, someone looks like they mixed tequila

Well, start thinking.

Well, tell your father I said hi.

Well, thank you for trying.

Well, thank you.

Well, that escalated quickly.

Well, that is a noble profession.

Well, that's frugal. I like that.

Well, that's Grampy's magical book from the past.

Well, the counter is flat.

Well, the shadows are all wrong.

Well, the way Grandma's driving, tomorrow.

Well, then I am wearing the wrong underwear.

Well, then, you are the most religious man I have ever met.

Well, there are several points of entry from the house,

Well, there goes my morning.

Well, there were a few F 18s

Well, there's nothing to be concerned about.

Well, think again.

Well, this could be your own thing.

Well, this is new.

Well, too bad, I'm doing it anyway.

Well, we can fix that.

Well, we certainly are learning a lot about you.

Well, we kind of have to now.

Well, we won't be married for long.

Well, what do you expect to catch in the backyard?

Well, what do you normally do when you see a woman's legs?

Well, what's the difference?

Well, when will he pay you back?

Well, where'd you lose them?

Well, you are paying for it, you're just paying over time.

Well, you can win prizes.

Well, you don't ask, you don't get.

Well, you enjoy your tea.

Well, you were very handsome.

Well, you work for me.

Well, your parents did a better job with you

Well...

Well... now I don't.

Went wrong with your marriage?

Were you even listening to me?

Were you ready?

Were you?Oh, yes.

Wh Where I grew up, being in a single woman's bedroom

What a beautiful home. Mashallah.

What a wonderful and supportive friend.

What about 'em?

What about her?

What about my goddaughter?

What about Private Ryan?

What about these other women?

What about you, brown sugar?

What about your sister?

What am I supposed to do with that?

What am I supposed to do?

What am I, a guest on your podcast?

What am I, an animal?

What are their sun signs? Has anybody put them

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? She's into you.

What are you drawing?

What are you gonna do? Kill him?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? Dude, I've seen you drive

What changed your mind?

What did you say to her?

What do they taste like in Afghanistan?

What do you do about yours?

What do you got in mind, handsome?

What do you got on tap?

What do you got?

What do you like to do?Mm.

What do you mean by "toning down"?

What do you mean you got a new car?

What do you mean, "that kid"?

What do you mean?

What do you miss about it?

What do you say, Hazel?

What do you think?

What do you think?

What do you think?!

What do you want me to do, skip there twirling a baton?

What do you want me to say?

What do you want, Dad?

What does that mean?

What else you know about her?

What flavor?

What fool would not like to see a woman's legs?

What happened to you?

What happened?He fell off the ladder.

What happened?What do you think happened?

What I'm saying is it's a numbers game.

What if Hassinais dead?

What if my mother is injured?

What if something happens to Wahid?

What if we call him Sergeant?

What if you don't have legs?

What if you're tied to the chair?

What is a what?Burning Man.

What is going on with your dancing fingers?

What is happening?

What is he doing?Just watch.

What is it?

What is it?

What is life except sorrow?

What is she talking about?

What is that thing?

What is that?

What is that?

What is that?

What is that?For long drives,

What is this, your secret diary?

What is this?Oh.

What is your father's name?

What is your go to sidearm?

What kind of an idiot spends $2,000 on a toilet?

What kind of cake you guys want for your birthday.

What kind of women did you date?

What makes you think it was my fault?

What number is he on now?

What painkillers do you have in the house?

What part don't you understand?

What part of Kabul are you from?Oh...

What score did you get?

What sorry excuse of a human being

What the hell are they doing in Afghanistan?

What was in here before salami?

What what's a chump?

What would you do

What would you like? It's on me.

What ya making?

What you drawing?

What, you don't know what an apple looks like?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Four,

What? He's, like, 100 years old.

What? No, you got to get paid.

What? They only shred the important stuff.

What? Wait, no! Don't say that.

What? Why?

What?Boom!

What?What?!

What...

What'd she say about me?

What'd she say?

What's a piñata?Uh, it's like a papier mâché thing

What's going on in here?

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's happening here?

What's it made of?

What's up?

What's up?

What's wrong with you?What's wrong with you?

What's your name, fella?

Whatcha doing?

Whatever, man, it's fine.

Whatever. I I really don't like that Middle Eastern kid.

When did you start working?

When do I get to meet the most wonderful woman

When do you see your daughter?

When do you think you're gonna be ready to...

When he gets out of jail. Duh.

When I die you'll be the boss of your own construction company.

When I don't know how to feel...

When I get mad, I do this.

When I have a child, they will wait for me to come home,

When I met Riley, I did not trust him either.

When I wake up is see what they wrote back.

When I was a little boy,

When I was a little boy,

When I was a little boy, I didn't have many friends.

When I was clicking away and nothing was coming out,

When I was in uniform,

When I wasn't looking?

When I went back for my second tour,

When I'm in that kind of mood, you know? Mm.

When Riley told me how special you were,

When Riley was in Afghanistan,

When she grows up, she's doing great.

When she wakes up.

When the U.S. was ready to get into World War II,

When the ugly girl becomes beautiful.

When the world says that to America, it doesn't listen.

When their sunglasses get smudged.

When we decided to join the U.S. forces,

When you can just stay here and eat?

When you go over there and fix everything.

When you grow up, you can be weird, too.

When you know, you know.

When you search the Web for pornography.

When you were waiting to go on missions.

When your grandfather enters the room.

When, yesterday?

When?

Where are we going?None of your business. Come on.

Where are you going?

Where are you going?

Where are you going? We're talking.

Where aremy keys?

Where at least I knew what was going on.

Where can we find a large congregation

Where did you get all the money?

Where I come from, we always use our first paycheck

Where I just needed to vent.

Where I was an interpreter fighting the Taliban

Where is the button?It's on the door.

Where is your brother ticklish?

Where the Taliban could attack us from.

Where were they?Get this.

Where were you?

Where you been?

Where you going?

Where you heading with this, Al?

Where'd he go?

Where'd you get that?

Where'd you get that?

Where's Al?

Where's Mr. Art?

Where's the optimal place to set up camp?

Whether I stay one night or seven nights

Which I had to fight for was they adjusted the APR.

Which is the most significant factor in nighttime crashes?

Which is weird, because he texts me every day

Which is?

Which means?

Which one of us she likes best right now.

Which some might say is even more important

Which were promised to them.

Which, apparently, is against regulations.

While your whole squad was retreating?

Who actually needs it.

Who answered was Mrs. Foster.

Who are still waiting for their visas.

Who can't consult their horoscope?

Who could do 100 pull ups, so...

Who else?

Who fought alongside our men and women,

Who had a car just like this.

Who here speaks English?

Who in this car do you think I'm afraid of?

Who is as wonderful and beautiful as your wife.

Who is Burning Man?It's a what.

Who is Freddy?

Who is going to tell Barbara?

Who never once tried anything.

Who put a giant dent in the back of my truck.

Who was flying from Kabul to Vancouver.

Who was visiting from Seattle we call him "American Mirwais"

Who will look after his children?

Who works at the embassy.

Who would you prefer I helped?

Who you are, where you come from, what you do.

Who?

Who?None of your business.

Who?The woman. The test woman.

Who's been crying for two days.

Who's just "really nice"

Who's the little boy next to him?

Whoa ho, 20, five...

Whoa, I'm doing this for you.

Whoa, now we're making speeches?

Whoa, sleeping pads.

Whoa, who said anything about a wedding?

Whoa! She's cute.

Whoa. He can tell us we're overreacting,

Whoo!

Whoo! Go get 'em, Uncle Al.

Whose dog is that?

Why are you acting like the Whore of Babylon?

Why are you asking if you answer so fast?I was born

Why are you listening to her?

Why are you not more excited?

Why are you saying that?

Why are you teaching her to cause trouble?

Why aren't you saying anything?

Why can't that be enough?

Why did I think dating is hard?

Why did you bring me here? You know I do not drink.

Why did you take a metal detector

Why do you care so much if I eat this?

Why do you get to?

Why do you got so much stuff in your purse?

Why do you people invade other countries,

Why don't we just build a fire?

Why don't we just cherry pick a few things out of here.

Why don't you ask her about Freddy?

Why don't you buy a real car?

Why don't you get Vanessa back? Boop, boop.

Why don't you just meet her at bingo?

Why don't you kids go out in the street and play.

Why don't you tell me what you think

Why don't you use a nail gun?

Why Florida?

Why not?

Why not?

Why should I?

Why the hell are you talking to her about who I'm sleeping with?

Why were you up there fixing the roof, Mr. Art?

Why would I lie to you, Zubair?

Why would she lie to me?

Why would we do that?

Why would you help any of them?

Why would you risk your marriage for these other women?

Why would you say that?

Why, did you get a phone call?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?That's how we pout in America.

Why?Vanessa is coming over for tea.

Why?Well,

Why'd you even come here?

Will come in handy when World War III breaks out.

Will he be okay?

Will you get over that?

Will you stay with me in the tent till Dad comes back?

Will you take a picture of me with it?

Will you take her?No way.

With "me."

With a guy who I can't trust.

With a minor in "What will people think?"

With a pot of pacha.

With a thick layer of jam in the middle.

With a truck full of sand and fill it myself.

With a very nice restaurant. That's it.

With everything they had.

With his own jealous thoughts about you and Freddy.

With laser guided bombs that pitched in.

With murderous warlords.

With some lady in the parking lot.

With some nice meat for his family.

With that lottery ticket.

With the challenges and hardships of life?

With U.S. forces for six years.

Without any of the money, they won't give you any of the car.

Without telling my mother I love her?

Without thinking it through.

Women should cover their legs.

Won't drink, won't gamble.

Won't fix the leak next time it rains.

Would be disrespectful to her father.

Would it be an untapped market, or would I go belly up?

Would say that about their family?

Would they make you go "Wow"?

Would you do me a favor

Would you like some rice pudding?

Would you like to meet my friend?

Would you like to play Twelve Goats?

Would you like to see some of the other choices?

Would you mind taking a look at my résumé?

Would you mind toning down the stuff you wear around the house?

Would you rather take the day off?

Would you take a look at my résumé?

Would you want her back?

Wouldn't know for sure until we open the wall up,

Wow, that is... How?

Wow, that was delicious. I couldn't eat another bite.

Wow, will you be my godfather, too?

Wow, you look great!

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow. '64 Mustang.

Y Your brother's stuck.

Yay!

Yeah, actually, I would.

Yeah, also, he's a she.

Yeah, and in three more, it's all mine.

Yeah, and it's working. Like, surprisingly well.

Yeah, and then he'll say, "It's not a favor

Yeah, because when I said it, it was true.

Yeah, Bill died three years ago.

Yeah, but Freddy?

Yeah, but it's aboveground.

Yeah, but it's basically the same, right?

Yeah, but you can have him back.

Yeah, dating's hard.

Yeah, did you stay?

Yeah, ease it down.Yeah, I'll put it down.

Yeah, easy.

Yeah, faucets are tricky. Let's talk about it.

Yeah, he bought a car.

Yeah, he did.

Yeah, he paid twice what that car is worth.

Yeah, he sits there and eats it and catches her up

Yeah, he's a jerk.

Yeah, he's not coming back. He kind of hit it off

Yeah, he's sorry.

Yeah, I already told him that.

Yeah, I couldn't sleep.Oh...

Yeah, I don't think I will.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Yeah, I feel it. It hurts.

Yeah, I get that.

Yeah, I have that.

Yeah, I know who you are.

Yeah, I met someone and...

Yeah, I want a piñata.

Yeah, I wish I had something I like doing

Yeah, I'll bet.Yeah.

Yeah, I'm a Browns fan I'm used to not winning.

Yeah, I'm gonna do the whole...

Yeah, I'm looking at it right now.

Yeah, I'm open to it.

Yeah, I'm sure they're fine.

Yeah, I'm sure your ability to draw fruit

Yeah, I'm sure.

Yeah, I've been out of state myself recently.

Yeah, in the kitchen sink.

Yeah, it lets you call any business you want from 2009.

Yeah, it's a good line, Dad. You should use it.

Yeah, it's been fun.

Yeah, it's right here on the menu.

Yeah, just keeps getting louder and louder. Hmm.

Yeah, man, this is my therapy.

Yeah, of course, honey.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, once. I folded them right side to left side,

Yeah, right.

Yeah, so could his family.

Yeah, sorry, pal.

Yeah, sure thing.Ah.

Yeah, sure, why not?

Yeah, thanks.

Yeah, that's definitely their biggest problem.

Yeah, that's fine.

Yeah, that's not gonna work.

Yeah, that's not right.

Yeah, that's rough.

Yeah, this all looks pretty good, uh,

Yeah, too much. It still goes,

Yeah, trust that feeling, bro.

Yeah, uh...

Yeah, wait here.MAN: O 62.

Yeah, we all have bad days.

Yeah, we did. We want you to feel at home.

Yeah, we're gonna need two cakes.

Yeah, we're gonna take him to urgent care.

Yeah, well, "sorry" doesn't pay the bills.

Yeah, well, let's take a look.

Yeah, well, looks like you got a little corrosion

Yeah, well, telling me you're gonna do it

Yeah, what can I tell ya?

Yeah, when I had a full ride to NYU

Yeah, yeah, and you used to have to get up to change the channel.

Yeah, you could say that.

Yeah, you got it.

Yeah! I get it.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Aw!

Yeah. I helped him out.

Yeah. I mean, he's not going anywhere.

Yeah. I'm exhausted.

Yeah. I'm feeling much less homesick.

Yeah. Let's talk about that.

Yeah. Most Afghans don't know their exact age.

Yeah. Okay. Thanks for your input.

Yeah. She can live wherever she wants.

Yeah. Still...

Yeah. Sure. Where where you parked?

Yeah. Think of it as dinner and a show.

Yeah. Yeah. Ready? Go.

Yeah. You interested?

Yeah. You sold my friend here a car

Yeah.Mm.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep. We got it.

Yes, Afghanistan is truly the land of choices.

Yes, but in Afghanistan, we just call it labor.

Yes, but these were real.

Yes, but you can never have too many

Yes, for eight years.

Yes, he is a trickster who stole her affection.

Yes, it is my heartfelt gratitude

Yes, it is.

Yes, ma'am.

Yes, ma'am.Okay.

Yes, of course.

Yes, Sergeant.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. We know what flat means.

Yes, thank you.

Yes, there are a lot of laws like that.

Yes, we are.

Yes, we are.No, we're not.

Yes, yes. And then you set it on fire.

Yes, you did.

Yes, you did.

Yes, you did.

Yes, you did. No, I didn't.

Yes, you did.No, I didn't.

Yes, you do.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. But I will be very quiet.

Yes. I just thought maybe I should pray more.

Yes. Of course.

Yes. That is me.

Yes. Yeah. Of course.

Yes.Good, I practiced.

Yes.No.

Yes.No.

Yet all of us are managing.

Yippie kai yay, Mr. Trucker.

You a Marine?

You and I are going to the V.A.

You and I have very different nightmares.

You and Mom enjoy that ice cream.

You are a credit to your profession.

You are a national treasure.

You are brave. You are a leader of men.[refrigerator opens]

You are gonna find me boring.

You are having trouble with your wife,

You are legally required to honk when you pass another car?

You are not a guest. You're family.

You are one of the smartest,

You are putting your pride before your family.

You are Riley's sister. You're not a woman.

You are talking about your fiancé.

You are trying to get me in trouble.

You are understandably heartbroken,

You arepretty.

You ask her what food she wants for dinner.

You bailed on being a real estate agent.

You bailed on college,

You become a good human being, Hazel.

You better hope she likes Freddy.

You called him Sarge.

You came to punish me.

You can certainly send him home

You can come to me.

You can cook any meat medium rare.

You can do better than him.

You can fall asleep standing up.

You can get compensation and medical care.

You can get money for tinnitus?

You can open a beer with your teeth.

You can pay back the loan as fast as you want.

You can share my birthday.

You can stand up and talk

You can stay here as long as you want.

You can tell your dad to stop texting me.

You can.

You can't come.

You can't do that.

You cannot go outside barefoot.

You cheated on her while you were still married.

You clean up after her,

You clean up nice.

You come back for more tea?

You coming at me, bro?

You could not do 100 pull ups.

You could use it to hurt my feelings.

You definitely have to come with me to Burning Man.

You did not need to do all this.

You didn't even let me answer.

You didn't have to do that.Oh, yes, I did.

You doing okay?

You don't care. You just need something.

You don't even have to go. I can represent you.

You don't get it, man.

You don't have to do anything, I'm...

You don't have to say anything.

You don't have to take your shoes off.

You don't know that.

You don't know them.

You don't need a résumé.

You don't understand.

You don't want any part of that mess.

You don't?

You don't.

You don't. I should not have said it quietly.

You done for the night?Yeah.

You drop it in the heating bag.

You eat it.

You expect me to rifle through some photos and j...

You failed your test because the woman had legs?

You found a way.

You freaked out and you didn't want to jump?

You get three months of satellite radio for free.

You giving up on me?

You gonna ask her out?

You gonna tell me I need to get checked out at the V.A.?

You good?

You got a better shot

You got enough leg room back there?

You got screwed on the financing.

You got something to say?

You got to get back out there.

You got to grind them down.

You guys and your old timey music.

You guys are messing with me.

You guys can hear that, right?

You guys should get the house across the street from us

You guys want to come?

You had me at chicken fingers.

You hang in a tree, hit with a bat.

You have a beautiful country and there is much to look at.

You have a beautiful restaurant, Mashallah.

You have a duty to your wife.

You have a motorcycle?

You have a plan?

You have a very beautiful home.

You have earned yourself

You have many skills.

You have never been better.

You have never been?

You have no idea.

You have skills Freddy could only dream of.Yeah, like what?

You have three spots you go to when you're freaking out.

You have to know your birthday.

You haven't dated anyone

You heard from your cousin Zubair?

You here to get your license?

You in or you out?

You just coming home?

You just got to get used to it.

You just got uninvited to my party.

You just have to fill out an application.

You just said he was wrinkled.

You just sat on his toilet.

You just set it and the car drives itself.

You keep telling yourself that.I'm as good as I ever was!

You know best.I do.

You know Glenn Friscetti?Yeah.

You know how everybody thinks they're the hero of their movie?

You know how my Ohio Veteran's Post

You know how you used to joke

You know I got back problems.

You know I'm 16, right?

You know if I could go to Afghanistan

You know me well.

You know me. I'm home wherever I go.

You know that thing I said earlier

You know that's not what I meant.

You know the hour you were born?Of course.

You know this. 'Cause she's got a boyfriend.

You know what day it is?Uh, yeah. Five days

You know what helps?

You know what I'd fancy?

You know what?

You know what?

You know what?

You know what? I think it's time for you to go home.

You know what? I totally see it now.

You know what? I'm telling.

You know what? Instead of explaining,

You know what's funny?

You know your ass from your elbow.

You know, after you, Lizzie and your dad,

You know, he's still on me to go to work for him.

You know, I never missed Vanessa when I was on patrol.

You know, I would've joined up, but I had some medical issues.

You know, if this was you, you'd keep bothering me

You know, it just seems kind of pathetic.

You know, it would.

You know, my mother's cousin made this rug.

You know, Riley,

You know, taking care of my guys.

You know, the first time my parents talked

You know, they taught me a lot of useful stuff,

You know, they were planning a wedding.

You know, this is getting way more complicated

You know, this is your own private, personal business.

You know, this one time

You know, we might need to be more scientific about this.Hmm.

You know...We know.

You left?

You let a filthy animal lick your face.

You like bamboozling people, do ya?

You like birds?

You like everything I post on Instagram.

You look fatter than she remembers.

You look good with and without hair.[bottle clinks]

You look hungry.

You look like you slept in the woods.

You made a huge sacrifice for your country.

You made bolani?I hope so.

You made us hunt for our dinner.

You mean the way I didn't 'cause I was fighting a war?

You might be out a roommate.

You might be saving money in the long run.

You might hit it off with.

You miss it, though.

You must always be three Mississippis away.

You must be exhausted.

You must have made a lot of sales,

You must visit. It is a beautiful country.

You need a break?

You need all the allies you can get.

You need to find him a mate.

You need to get it through your head.

You need to hear me out.

You okay?

You okay?Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.

You own your own business. You have a home.

You picked that guy?

You probably bought it with your dirty ear money.

You probably lived longer with him than I did.

You promise?

You punish yourself.

You punk ass, sad little string bean. Let's go!

You purchase a toy to make noise.

You pushed me.

You ready to do some camping?You bet.

You realize you just said that to me, right?

You really didn't have to pay for all of this.

You really need to send her a map.

You really want me to explain why the system stinks?

You really want your head

You remember my son?Good to see you, Sergeant.

You remember we talked about Uncle Al?

You said Cabo, right?

You said to save all the receipts,

You said you got a new car yesterday.

You see these two birds?Mm hmm.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

You should be.

You should feed the first bite to the person you love most.

You should have a cake you want.

You should have told me to bounce

You should keep your blank on.

You should not...

You shouldn't push people who aren't ready.

You slammed it in the door!

You speak Pashto?

You sure about that?

You sure about this? Riley hates that kind of stuff.

You take some pictures, you open some wallets

You take the meal out.

You tell me.

You think Hazel likes Freddy?

You think I'm doing a bad job with Hazel?

You think it wasn't humiliating for me

You think she's such a saint?

You think you get a thing?

You thinking what I'm thinking?

You treated a war hero like a chump.

You used your turn signals.

You usually make it to a bed, even if it's not yours.

You want a bite?

You want a hug?

You want me to donate some money?

You want me, you take Al, too.

You want to go for a ride?

You want to go outside and have a smoke with me?

You want to party?

You want to see something funny,

You want to stop?

You want to wait?

You were a Marine.

You were right.

You were this little.

You were very successful with the ladies.

You were what?

You were with him over there.

You weren't planning to?

You will like my spinach.I'm allergic.

You will lose the sale.

You will never do better than her.

You will see that for the incredible luxury it is.

You will sit there until you eat it.

You woke dead people.

You wouldn't even be asking the question.

You wouldn't think so, but would you be surprised

You, too.I watched

You.

You...

You'd love him.

You'll get through it.

You'll get used to it.

You'll never believe what Dad did.

You'll pay for it later.

You're a bad liar.

You're a disabled vet.

You're already doing that.

You're already rich with that officer money.

You're an adult man who's sleeping

You're an optimistic little dude, aren't you?

You're apologizing to the wrong person.

You're back.

You're being pretty insensitive.

You're coming with us?Relax.

You're doing great.

You're doing great.

You're even prettier than I remember.

You're fitting in fine.

You're funny, Uncle Al.

You're gonna go on his date for him?

You're gonna make your speech, right?

You're good with... shapes.

You're impossible.

You're impossible.

You're just... really great.

You're kidding, right?

You're kidding.

You're kidding.Mm mmm.

You're kind. You're respectful.

You're living in my garage. It's already pathetic.

You're looking for some deep answer, Al, but I got none.

You're not doing nothing for me.

You're not even the best man in this car.

You're not exactly my type.

You're not gonna win me over.

You're not just saying that, are you?

You're not making it any cleaner.

You're our honored guest.Hmm.

You're planning on becoming an engineer?

You're staying in the backyard, right?

You're still not off the hook.

You're terrible.

You're the manager.

You're the second best dad on this roof.

You're too old to be doing that "why" thing.

You're trying so hard to be grumpy,

You're under a lot of stress.

You're up.

You're weak.

You're welcome.

You're welcome. Make a wish.

You're what's called a party pooper.

You're yelling at a hero.

You've been out there for months,

You've seen legs in, like, movies and stuff.

Youdon't understand.

Your amigo, Freddy."

Your camera is broken.Ah, I'd send you a picture,

Your cell phone password? A nuclear code?

Your complete attention.

Your daughter is waiting

Your family sucks?Mm hmm.

Your father has more wisdom

Your friend is a rifle?

Your girls really miss you.

Your government would have left me there,

Your granddaughter got sick

Your great grandson is a terrific salesman.

Your head's gonna fall off your shoulders.

Your mom just pulled up with the homework you forgot.

Your mom's right. If you start changing up your hair at ten,

Your mother's boyfriend?

Your room looks like our bunker in Sangin.

Your son helped me, too.

Your trash cans are on wheels.

Yum!

Yup, they are the weeds of metal detecting.

5:30. Go back to sleep.

11 o'clock, fence.

12.

20's plenty, right? [laughs][mutters]

90 minutes? Ugh, I'm gonna die.

101, tank commander.Mm.

200 balloons? This birthday will be

1730 hours. All clear."

1997, any condition.

: Adele.

: Bismillah.

: Come on, man.

: Help me.

: Hey, did you buy a car?

: Michael would be so disappointed in me.

: Mm.

: Mr. Awa wa?

: No, but tell him I did.

: Oh, I wish I could have heard that.

: Oh, yeah.

: Oh. Geez.

: Take off the parking brake.

: W Whoa, what happened to you?

: Yeah, no.

: Yeah.

...are probably not going to make it here.

...handsomest guys I've ever met.

...he was not with you.

...I will call him my brother.

...Rachel.

...the point is,

...you and I are both just trying to help our country

'Cause I can fix it.

'cause I could see you weren't ready.

'Cause I don't want that money.

'Cause I never found it that comforting when you said it.

'Cause I picked up the leaves.

'Cause I tell everybody. I mean, come on.

'Cause if he's not,

'Cause it'll make everyone's life a lot easier,

'Cause it's important.Why?

'Cause no one knew you went or what it was.

'cause of my mistake.

'cause you're not afraid to be vulnerable.

"$38.72."

"1100 hours."

"A man without a birthday is like a man with no name.

"ba ka da, ba ka da, ba ka da."

"Because today you have come to be.

"Bottle cap.

"But you no longer have to mourn

"Done"?

"every day of the year just the same.

"feelings crap."

"Great!"

"Hello, ladies and germs."

"I like the way you stamp your bingo card"?

"I'll do the best I can."

"It's a girl"?

"It's your birthday, you've been born!

"Move that, pick that up," that sort of thing.

"Never a party, a toy, not even a cake.

"Nice to meet you, Al.

"No friends to come over and play,

"Operation suspended until further notice."

"Please, God, get me out of here."

"R..."

"Red square,

"Red Zulu Niner.

"Shoot the eyes first."

"Very best number one"?

"when the hell are they gonna fix this thing?" [laughs]

["It's Not Unusual" playing]

[Al growls]

[Al thuds out, Hazel laughs]

[applause and cheering]

[applause]

[applause]

[applause]Thank you, Hazel.

[Art sighs]

[band playing "The Star Spangled Banner"]

[beeps]

[both laugh]

[both laugh]

[both laugh]

[both whooping]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles] How about that.

[chuckles] You're going to school.

[chuckles]: I can't wait to show you everything.

[clears throat]

[clicks tongue]

[continues vocalizing]

[couch squeaking]

[couch squeaks]

[couch squeaks]

[couch squeaks]Ah!

[couch squeaks]Not me.

[couch squeaks]Oh.

[door closes]

[doorbell rings]

[doorbell rings][groans] Man...

[engine starts]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales] Sorry, I...

[gasping]

[giggles] No, no, no.

[glass shattering]

[glass shattering]

[groaning]

[groans]

[groans] Dude!

[Hazel cries]

[Hazel cries]You stop, too, please.

[high pitched]: You want to talk about it?

[imitates explosion]

[in high pitched voice]: The tank says it can do 200.

[inhales sharply] Yeah, probably.

[knocking on door]

[laughing]: Why?

[laughing]This is so much fun!

[laughs quietly]Ah.

[laughs softly]

[laughs softly]

[laughs softly]

[laughs softly] Nope.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] It's so sad how good this feels.

[laughs] Really?

[laughs]: Go.

[laughs]Never.

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]So there we are,

[moans] Look at this apple.

[mouths]

[mouths]Do you see how weird

[muffled groan]

[mumbling]: Mashallah...

[orchestral music plays]

[overlapping chatter]

[panting]

[phone chimes]

[phone chimes]

[phone chiming repeatedly]

[praying in Pashto]

[refrigerator closes]

[scoffs]

[scoffs]

[scoffs] Yeah, give me one reason.

[scoffs] Yeah.

[scoffs]All right, don't be a wise guy.

[scoffs]Look,

[scoffs]Oh, I'm going to need a jacket and tie.

[sighs heavily]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs] I don't want this.

[sighs] I might.

[sighs] Yeah, I'd consider it.

[sighs]Fine.

[siren wails]

[smoke alarm beeping]

[sniffles]

[sniffles]

[sniffles]

[soft laughter]So, I send him

[speaking Pashto]

[speaking Pashto]

[Vanessa laughs][Hazel coos]

[vocalizing]

[whispers]: Hey, Al. How long can you make your speech?

[whooping]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪ Happy birthday Dear

♪ Happy birthday to you

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you.

♪ Hazel and Al

♪ I'd hammer in the morning.

♪ I'm in love with you

♪ If I ever find that you've changed at any time ♪

♪ If I had a hammer

♪ It's not unusual

♪ It's not unusual

♪ It's not unusual to find out

♪ Oh!

♪ Oh!

♪ Oh!

♪ Oh!

♪ Oh!

♪ To be loved by anyone

♪ To have fun with anyone...

♪ Whoa, whoa!