Mork & Mindy - Season 4 Edit

A baby? What a completely outdated concept.

A buck thirty?

A buck's a buck.

A concerto.

A cop told me Mearth was a grown man and could do whatever he wanted to.

A few major details, but I never lied.

A form of hero worship.

A nicer or kinder being than you.

A television antenna is one thing, a son in law is another.

A UFO with legs.

About being a parent to Mearth.

About Mearth going away to school on Ork.

About the newscaster job till this afternoon. But thanks.

About your bathroom wallpaper.

Absolutely phenomenal.

Actually, it's a piece of a great big eggshell.

Adjusting to this environment.

Ah, ha, ha. Oh.

Ah. Dave, will you empty the till?

Aha!

Air Ork's H 28 transport beam has merged with Glibthansa

All he knows how to do is joke about the weatherman's sports coat.

All I did was ask her to marry me and, boom, she's got the personality of lint.

All I have is a frog in my right pocket.

All I need now is the girl

All I need now is the girl to go with

All right, but if you see any criminals from the Phantom Zone

All right, Mind, got a bite. Wait.

All right, Mind, haul tush, haul tush.

All right, Mind. I was just kidding, Mearth.

All right, Mork, I'll try. Uh...

All right, now, what's with you? Who are you, anyway?

All right, sir. I'll correct the problem. I quit.

All right, son, well, I'll level with you.

All right, son, you take care and you make me real proud of you.

All right, sweetheart, Mommy knows all about this place

All right, what next?

All right, you can stay here and never have to think,

All right, you've seen what we did to him.

All right.

All right. I know that.

All right. Technically, we all know Mork isn't exactly human,

All that love for a hunk of meat.

All the Chinese people go downtown for ******* food.

All the other children are going to school. Why aren't I going to school?

All this is for you.

All you Baba's, A through M, follow me.

Alone.

Also, the one thing they don't let me do is barbecue in the bedroom.

And a grill, some briquettes,

And all mankind.

And also you find him in some of the better French restaurants.

And bootleg tapes rolled into one.

And Charles Bronson's beard.

And Daddy watches General Hospital.

And Dewey Fishbeck's going up to interview him,

And don't fill your canteens until I tell you.

And don't forget that book report.

And don't forget to take your Femiron.

And drive me out of this sand trap of life into the fairway of love.

And everybody else, you empty your pockets.

And give it to the poor.

And go upstairs and put on your Dr. Denton's?

And going home early.

And have joyous confrontations with hypocrisy,

And have the ultimate security and confidence to carry on like that.

And he didn't even muss his hair during the tornado.

And he eats flies, of course,

And he goes:

And he has three hearts.

And he went belly up.

And he's gotta be around kids like himself to be able to learn.

And here comes Mearth. We'll talk about it later.

And here's a family portrait. Eh ee.

And his head is covered in hives,

And I didn't.

And I have a frog in my pocket.

And I have made a remarkable adjustment. You see...

And I love him.

And I met your mother

And I never thought I'd fall for an Earthling.

And I never would have gone back

And I never would have gone back

And I see you

And I think you better take this sitting down.

And I thought it was the MSG.

And I'll be your guide on this incredible journey

And I'll have to find and dominate you through military and economic aid.

And I'm not that eager to see a Johnny Cash concert.

And if by some fluke of fate I can't,

And if we're not back by midnight, turn off the Crock Pot.

And if you can't, I'd just as soon have yours.

And is now servicing the greater Earth area.

And it began very innocently with a breakfast of fresh fruit and hog jowls.

And it really hurts me to have to say this

And it's a good thing. Otherwise you'd be rich too.

And it's great to be a family again.

And it's not what you think.

And leave with a name like Chuck. Easy.

And let's bring out our first model.

And make a fool out of myself. I mean, something a son can really respect.

And me? I'm a wreck.

And meditate on the color green.

And Mindy says we can't afford it. Who's right?

And Mommy and Daddy?

And no one tells me how to run my classroom.

And now from zero to bliss in 60 seconds. Look at that.

And now Mr. Silver, in the airplane.

And now the big question, no pressure, though.

And now, what could be more Exidorian

And now, what is this? The Exidor evening gown.

And occasionally having some Chinese food?

And R E S P E C T, that's what it means to me.

And remember, if you ever have problems, you can come to us.

And ride off into the sunset.

And sashimi and bonsai tree.

And say hello to Baba Bow wow for me, will you?

And see if they have the love theme from Alien.

And she couldn't keep her hands off me, and the rest is history.

And so does his brother Bubba, who plays for the Green Bay Packers.

And so I have to go to Aspen to interview the governor.

And somebody named Monty gets all the credit.

And someday Daddy's gonna take us there.

And sometimes it is misspelled by girls dancing

And sometimes that's the hardest thing in the world.

And that means that you're half Orkan and half Earthling.

And that means you can't take risks with our future.

And that teacher, Miss Geezba, oh, she's cruel.

And that this week I learned

And that tire that he uses for a teething ring.

And that's being an observer for Ork.

And the dramatic conclusion of It Came From Diablo Canyon.

And the fact he can't order off the children's menu.

And the mind of an infant.

And the older you get, the younger you'll look,

And the only way to make money is to spend money.

And the surgeon general has determined

And then love will take care of the rest.

And then the wheels of catastrophe started to turn.

And there's no one else like you in the whole universe.

And they call this the national pastime?

And they've gotta all go back. I'm sorry.

And watch your daddy swing into action.

And way over here, millions and millions of miles away,

And we can't, and now we're gonna lose everything.

And we have to dip into our emergency savings account

And we just want you to be realistic.

And we were hoping we could talk to you about him

And we're gonna see that you get a good one somehow.

And what about having a family?

And when he did, the parents pulled all their kids off.

And will you marry me?

And you can do wonderful neato things like this. Watch.

And you can't slide through the essay questions.

And you catch it, okay? Okay?

And you happened to make a big one.

And you know something? I believe I'm truly ready for school.

And you scored highly on the IQ test.

And you told me where babies came from?

And you were the first girl in Boulder to play Little League baseball.

And you're just gonna have to be patient till we make...

And you're off barrel jumping with Peggy and Rhonda Fleming.

And, anyway, it's only one day a month.

And, boy, am I lucky I have got Mindy.

And, mm, watch kitty go "rawr!"

And, well, who drives well in the snow.

And? And that's it.

Animal.

Another one for Baby News. One more, there we go. There's one.

Anything else you can find,

Anyway, I'm going to be the best dance critic they ever had.

Are you chickening out?

Are you insinuating I'm some kind of crackpot?

Are you serious?

Are you trying to tell me that this doesn't belong to a superhero?

Aretha Franklin.

As I sing this autumn song

As just old Jake the cameraman,

As long as he behaves.

As painful as it seems now, it was all for the best.

As the hands motivate the motion.

As we peer out,

As when there were just two of us.

At Baba Love's House of Prayer and Ribs.

At Grateful Dead concerts, going "Love, look it love."

At last, we can buy Mearth a little something.

At least we'll make them part of the family.

Aw, Grandma. Ha, ha.

B, the old fashioned way.

BABA GENTLE: You sweep up in here.

Baba Gentle. Bye bye, Bonzo.

BABA HOPE: Utopians, welcome our new brother.

BABA HOPE: Whoa!

Baba Swell has taken his first steps to a life of eternal devotion,

Baby? What baby?

Basically, what I'd like to say is,

Bathe the baby, bathe the baby.

Because basically we're a unit, right?

Because I like what you stand for even when you're sitting,

Because it converts into tennis, Exidor?

Because judging by your size, he could be yours.

Because Mindy and I had to try and explain the truth about his heritage.

Because Mindy and I want you to be the godfather.

Because nobody cares about mine.

Because nothing's gonna stop me from finding my child,

Because now, we're going to have

Because you know what?

Because you live here with us and Grandma and Grandpa.

Because...

Before I hand you my kneecaps on a platter?

Before I met you,

Before somebody here hands you your kneecaps on a platter.

Believe me, it'll pass.

Besides a wicked tax break?

Besides, he'll be up again in another hour and we'll try again.

Besides, the money you're taking from these guys, I'm sure...

Besides, there's plenty of time for school.

Bicker, and learn to play canasta for the rest of our lives?

Black Beauty.

Blessing? I'll give you a blessing.

BOTH: Mm.

BOTH: Mm.

Boy, he scampered when he hit that hot wax.

Boy, I bet everybody at the supermarket

Boy, I guess this is just about the best present I ever got.

Boy, I tell you, I'm gonna really plug in that electric blanket tonight

Boy, I wish I could stay here with you and your daddy and have macaroni.

Boy, I'm glad that's over with.

Boy, Mind, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.

Boy, some people don't know how to handle sudden wealth.

Boy, they really screwed this game up when they added the ball, Mind.

Boy, you're one up on Gerald Ford.

Broadway! Hit it, Mind.

Bullets can be hazardous to your health. Now, please.

Bunny, I may not be the handsomest man,

But am I bitter? No.

But being different, well, that takes a lot of courage.

But business breeds strange bedfellows.

But candle sales, they're slipping.

But did you see what that other kid did? He...

But emotionally, I feel exactly the opposite.

But Governor Lamm makes Jean Claude Killy

But he does have some human characteristics.

But he has a lot more humanity in him than anyone I've ever met.

But I do get along very well with the Doberman.

But I only wanted his respect and put him in a dangerous situation.

But I think you've got a big problem on your hands.

But I wanna catch up with them. I don't wanna be left behind.

But I won't.

But I'm a little short on cash, so...

But I'm not gonna go into Mork's head. That's an invasion of his privacy.

But I'm not now or never have been a superhero.

But I'm not sure that'd be Mearth's choice.

But I'm sure in enough time, I'll grow to love every hair on his chest.

But I've got his phone number.

But if I lost you...

But if you do things correctly, you'll always be connected with the firm.

But if you've got pride in yourself, there's nothing that anyone can say.

But in the long view, children test you every day,

But it doesn't have to be like that.

But it was an incredible simulation.

But it was really brutal getting up that pole.

But it worked for Prince Charles.

But it's normal to want respect from Mearth.

But it's protected like a fortress with barbed wire and guard dogs.

But later you'll see that you're very unique

But love is no substitute for recreation.

But now I'm talking real angry.

But our baby isn't exactly what I was expecting.

But pretty soon you'll look like them because you see,

But the bottom line is, I am his grandfather.

But then he and I never did have any secrets.

But then, so is he. Heh, heh.

But this time, you burp him. I think I threw my shoulder out.

But we'll get by, I think.

But we're gonna have our two for one sale.

But when I'm real good... And I try to be most of the time, don't I?

But you know what? I'm gonna quit this night job

But you see, you mustn't let love spoil your judgment.

But you're a little premature. I'm not gonna know

But, Mork, rhinos have smaller babies.

Buy two, get one. Who can resist that?

By the time you learn the trade, you're out of the business.

By tomorrow morning, you can be in Brazil.

Bye bye, broom.

Bye bye, yo.

Bye.

Came to this little tiny planet and out of all those people in the world,

Can I show them to you, please? Here they go. Eh ee.

Children, perhaps this is the dental plan we've all been chanting for.

Chinese food!

Class, can anyone tell me who invented the flying saucer?

Close.

Coffee. Thank you.

Coincidence? I say nay.

Come in, Orson.

Come in, Orson.

Come in.

Come on in here, get a quick cold drink, and get on our way.

Come on, Dave. It ain't worth it.

Come on, I was just trying to set the mood.

Come on, Mind, you should be happy that I made a shrewd investment.

Come on, Mind.

Come on, Mom, you can join in with us.

Come on, we're taking you home.

Come on, you two.

Come on, you're safe now. Let's go home.

Come on.

Come over here. Oh, there we go.

CORA: Married.

CORA: Oh, don't cry, Mearth.

CORA: Oh, pipe down, Fredzo.

Correct the matter at once.

Could I go out there and battle evil with you?

Could that be anything like night watchman?

Could you tell me where Miss Geezba is?

Could you turn the heat up? It's kind of cold in here.

Crime fighter and part time superhero.

Cute, but not the greatest attention span.

Dad, don't fall apart on me. You're the only one I can talk to about this.

Dad, I'm not gonna run away.

Dad, I'm so proud to be able to serve with you.

Dad.

Daddy didn't mean to scare you.

Daddy knows you're gonna catch the ball.

Daddy was a little emotional, but he's over it now.

Daddy, could I borrow one of your new razor blades?

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy...

Daddy, he's got a gun.

Daddy, I have so much respect for you.

Daddy, I wanna ask you something. I was upstairs watching TV

Daddy, what happened?

Daddy, what's this?

Daddy, you're so great.

Daddy.

Daddy.

Daddy.

Daddy's doing something important.

Daddy's making macaroni tonight with cheese.

Dear, you will never be able to have a normal life.

Did Baba Love take you to the park and teach you

Did I close out of town?

Did Mommy teach you how to play baseball?

Did she come in yet?

Did you find him?

Didn't Mindy tell you that she volunteered for the night shift?

Disaster? Oh, Mork, don't tell me about a disaster.

Ditch the skirt, Mork.

Do I detect a note of jealousy or are you coughing on a bone?

Do I smell salad burning?

Do they have American carry outs in China?

Do you call that living?

Do you have any idea what it's like sitting next to Ovits?

Do you think there'll be other children to play with in debtor's prison?

Do you think with your head or with your heart?

Doctor, lawyer and wholesale jeweler.

Does the planet Ork mean anything to you?

Does this mean there's no surprise party, Mind?

Doesn't mean I don't have a lot in common with Superman. I mean...

Doesn't mean we have to end our relationship.

Doing that both at the same time?

Don't be silly. Don't worry.

Don't clip his nails.

Don't cry. You still have your lollipop.

Don't do this. That cap is filthy. You don't know where it's been.

Don't hit me, don't hit me. I have corrective shoes on.

Don't move!

Don't patronize me.

Don't talk to me about a son in law.

Don't touch me there. I've got a bruise.

Don't worry about it, Mind. He still loves you.

Don't worry, Dad, I'll be home this afternoon.

Don't worry. Colleges are very expensive nowadays, anyway.

Don't you just want to take them home now?

Don't you see? If you give him everything now,

Don't you see? We're from two completely different worlds.

Don't you think that baby is unusually large?

Don't you understand though?

Don't you worry about a thing.

Earth head, listen,

Easy, easy, please, be gentle with them, be gentle.

Eee...

Eenie, meenie, minie, mo, you die.

Either giving blood every day for the rest of my life

Especially when I'm your only child.

Especially with those crow's feet.

Even dumber when I bought the soundtrack to Beatlemania,

Even Evita didn't pay off its backers that fast.

Even the Wright Brothers came down for milk and cookies, Mearth.

Even their identities.

Even though he does have the height advantage.

Eventually you'll get your full heart and graduate to busboy on steak night.

Every hour, on the hour, just like clockwork.

Everybody can make a mistake.

Everybody's dancing in the snow

Except for one thing, I don't know where he is.

Except for that time when you tried to play the Mikado.

Excuse me, Earth head, could I hold him?

Excuse me, sweetheart, I'm Mearth's mother.

Exidor, either you've had a revelation, or someone just kicked a field goal.

Exidor, is that you?

Exidor, please, please, pull out your putter

Exidor, you're a mogul now.

Exidor, you've got to help me, please. I mean, you know everything.

Exidor, you've gotta help me.

EXIDOR: Answer the door already.

Fake.

Fighting again, Mork? Take your seat.

Finally he learned to accept his birthright and his heritage

Finished at last.

First it was... First it was Herman, my spider,

First of all...

Fish net.

Flirt with my secretary, get drunk at the Christmas party

For 26,802 hours, I feel basically...

For instance, he seems to enjoy a good story.

For instance, the other day in the market,

For seeing the nice present your mommy and I got for you.

For the birth certificate.

Forty two dollars for telephone?

From now on, I'm only gonna take him to hear Slim Whitman sing Aida.

Gee, I wonder who could be behind all this.

Gee, we haven't seen one decent crime.

Gee, you know something?

GEEZBA: All right, class, that's enough Manilow.

Give me a K.

Give me an L.

Glad to see you brought the little woman.

Gloria Steinem didn't buy that one, Mind, and neither do I.

Go ahead tell her. No, I can't. Oh, tell her. Tell her. I can't.

Good afternoon. I'm Mr. Mork,

Good night, Mearth. Big kiss.

Good night, son.

Good night, sweetheart.

Good night. Remember, you changed your mind about the wallpaper.

Good.

Good. Come on.

Goodbye.

Goody, goody, Baba Gentle.

Gosh, and look at this on the back.

Gosh, well, Mommy, Daddy, I'm still here.

Gosh, you know something, Grandma?

Gosh, you know, while you were gone,

Got it? Raise your hand when she asks a question,

Got my hopes high

Got my striped tie

Got the carioca...

Got the time and the place And I've got rhythm

Grandma, why?

Great, Exidor.

Great, he's bilingual.

Guillermo,

Hamburgers, buns, matches and a volleyball net.

Hang around the water cooler, chat with friends,

Has a long tongue,

Have you ever strung up 12 outlaws single handedly?

He does look a little like me, doesn't he?

He doesn't mean anything to me.

He eats more than Trigger.

He hasn't eaten since he arrived. What do you think he eats?

He looks just like Lester Maddox on steroids.

He might call.

He says yes.

He seems very alert for a child his age.

He still might be too young to accept it, Mork.

He took a gun away from a criminal. He did, he did.

He tried to get on the toboggan,

He was gonna open a store, this is exactly what I'd expect.

He was having such a good time in the park on the sled hill

He was just helping me, that's all.

He was trying to take me home and I just...

He wouldn't have looked good in this fur coat anyway.

He'll have nothing to look forward to later.

He'll only go to school one day a month, Earth time.

He's a fake. He's fictitious.

He's a joke.

He's a lot bigger than I remember him.

He's a today kind of guy.

He's an extraterrestrial being.

He's gone. This was on his bed.

He's growing up and he won't need me.

He's half a superior being. I mean look at me, I'm an alien

He's just a child, and he's easily impressed.

He's just afraid, Mind. We saw The Shining today, remember?

He's just infatuated with a movie.

He's missing a million seller.

He's my grandson, so it's about time I started spoiling him.

He's no in casa.

He's starting to realize he's different.

He's sweet, he's charming, he's sensitive,

He's the most beautiful child you've ever seen.

He's thin. That's because I stepped on him about a half a dozen times.

He's with those cult people in the black robes.

Heh heh heh. We figured you'd show up sooner or later.

Heh.

Hello, everybody.

Hello?

Hello.

Here he is at 2 hours old.

Here is his first piggyback ride.

Here we go, come on in. Mind, I got here as fast as I could.

Here we go, ready? Okay, here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go. Look.

Here you go. One, two, three.

Here, have one. They're Tiparillo lights.

Here, let me help you.

Here, perky, here's your investment plus profit.

Here, sweetheart.

Here, take your money and go. Leave us all alone.

Here's the name. Here's the name.

Here's your bottle.

Hey there... No.

Hey, Dave, how are you doing?

Hey, don't worry about me.

Hey, ho.

Hey, ho.

Hey, I happen to be a violent person, so shut up.

Hey, isn't that wonderful, Mind? His first non sequitur.

Hey, thank you, partner.

Hey, what's wrong with Mearth?

Hey! Who said you could move?

Hi there.

Hi, Mearth. Heh.

Hi.

Hi. Ha, ha.

His spider died.

Hitting the ginger ale again?

Hold it right there! How about you dropping that gun

Hold on. There we go. And the crowning touch.

Hon, don't check out without the baggage. Mind.

Honey, I think you know exactly what has to be done.

Honey, it's your decision,

Hop in the Jeep and go find Mearth.

How are they biting?

How come he's not writing his own?

How come you're not there?

How convenient.

How do I do this again?

How do I weigh what I feel against what I know is logical?

How many times you see a hamster neutered on your way into Macy's?

How to eat string cheese and, enh, like that?

How's this sound to you, son? How about this?

Huh. All right, as the world turns, let's play hide and seek.

Hurry up, Mearth, you're gonna be late.

I abdicate my post for the woman I love.

I always like playing this course.

I always thought my life would be like a Doris Day movie,

I am not getting involved in your barbaric Earthling matters.

I am staying right on this spot

I am still making the same salary for three

I blew my big moment.

I came home crying my first day at school too.

I can be down one moment and then, whoop, back up again.

I can be down right now. Life's just a seesaw.

I can take a message.

I can't go there. You see, I'm not union.

I can't handle... I've had four today.

I can't lie to you,

I can't, I can't. I can't go. I can't. You see, I'm Baba's love child.

I can't. I want you meet my friends.

I couldn't have even lifted him without you.

I couldn't stay here knowing that you'll never be mine.

I did.

I didn't realize being a parent was so difficult.

I do hate it. The kids call me names

I don't believe I caught your name.

I don't believe it.

I don't have my little guy's respect up there,

I don't know where that came from. I really didn't mean to say that.

I don't know, Dad.

I don't know, Ex, it sure perked up Melvin Dummar for a while.

I don't know, Mind. Maybe Bob has the same couch.

I don't know, son.

I don't know. He's got all of his teeth. Maybe a little beef jerky.

I don't know. I just don't like the tone of this conversation.

I don't know. This has all gotten terribly heavy for me all of a sudden.

I don't think I'd be hanging here.

I don't think so, Mind.

I don't think we should neglect Mindy like this.

I don't want to have lobes hanging down to my knees.

I don't want you to go.

I don't... I don't see 20 things I can identify.

I feel just like George Steinbrenner.

I feel like I've gotta sit down.

I feel like Ronald Reagan at a budget meeting.

I felt about as useless as a lawnmower on AstroTurf.

I figured, how difficult can anything be named Tammy?

I finally found a place where everybody was the same.

I flew all the way from Ork back here to Earth.

I got 40 starving people in my backyard singing "Brigadoon."

I got that from you, Dad. That's your sense of humor.

I guess first of all, most of you by this time know that I'm from Earth.

I guess he doesn't buy our story about being just big boned, huh?

I guess I have been running away.

I guess the old fashioned way is always best

I guess we better haul it then.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is, I can't marry you.

I guess you're right.

I guess you're right. But just to be on the safe side,

I had teachers I didn't like too, but you know what?

I had to play dumb. Ha, ha.

I happen to be Mearth, his important sidekick.

I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.

I hate her. I hate her. I hate her.

I hate it there and I'm not going back there.

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

I hate it!

I have a feeling she's everybody's little friend.

I have a half a yo yo

I have better stuff than this in my room.

I have invested our $900 in the Exidor Boutique.

I have patience. I can wait.

I have something that none of you have here on Ork.

I have to be alone, that's all. I have to be alone.

I have to make a report to O R S O N.

I hid it in Merv Griffin's autobiography.

I hope when I grow up I'll be just like Superman.

I just don't fit in any world.

I just don't have any friends, Grandma.

I just dropped over to borrow a spatula

I just feel weird. I just feel different, that's all.

I just want you to realize it's not that easy to get a good job.

I knew it.

I knew that. That's what you do before you start selling coffee machines.

I know how easily you run down, so don't skip breakfast.

I know it's a risk. It's a dumb thing.

I know it's kind of weird now,

I know what it is to be crushed.

I know, but he's been talking up that guy in the tights again.

I know, let's go do something fun. You wanna play tennis?

I know. I'll call Dad. He'll know what to do.

I know. I'm sorry, I was just trying to increase our wealth.

I know. You did take it too far,

I look a lot less like Howdy Doody than he does.

I lost a man in an airplane. The dog ate him.

I lost a spider today.

I lost all of our money.

I love you very much,

I love you.

I mean more to you than that, don't I?

I mean, Abraham Lincoln studied at home.

I mean, big Mearth kind of took me by surprise,

I mean, come home and complain about the boss,

I mean, he has the body of a 50 year old

I mean, he's my son.

I mean, I can get any job I want,

I mean, I could be my own boss. The hours are perfect.

I mean, I could be my own boss. The hours are perfect.

I mean, I didn't know I had that kind of rage inside of me.

I mean, I should just go sit in the shed with his training wheels.

I mean, I want my son to look up to me.

I mean, I'm talking about blue, blue, blue sky,

I mean, it's a perfect job for me.

I mean, it's a perfect job for me.

I mean, it's just... It's just ridiculous.

I mean, just 24 hours. Please, Mind, Mind, Mind, please.

I mean, Kenny Rogers wouldn't behave this way.

I mean, look at me. I know all the hosts of Real People.

I mean, look at this: There's Tinker Bell, there was Grace Slick.

I mean, Mind, I want to have a job I can talk about.

I mean, no wonder the novel is dead as an art form.

I mean, Pocahontas and John Smith, or Mickey Rooney and pick a number.

I mean, since Jeopardy's been canceled, what do you need to know?

I mean, teach him to sit on his face, drink with his finger,

I mean, think about it. I crossed five galaxies,

I mean, where am I gonna find size 46 Pampers?

I mean, who ever stood after being only an hour old?

I mean, why can't we just go on being the way we are?

I mean, you bring home the bacon. All I do is collect the grease.

I mean, you can always get a job on Family Feud.

I mean, you even know the color of Ronald Reagan's real hair.

I mean, you know, I'm not Lois Lane or anything like that.

I mean, you know, I'm the eternal optimist.

I mean, you married an alien and you went to another planet,

I mean, you play with me, you read to me, we watch TV together.

I must have the wrong mind.

I never realized raising a child involved so much responsibility.

I now know how you can take care of all your family's financial needs.

I once sat through an entire Bobby Vinton concert. Right.

I only have trust in you.

I read you.

I really don't have any of those things, but I have Bonzo.

I really don't. I wanna play hide and seek.

I really think we need to talk about this.

I really wouldn't wear the muff, Dad.

I scored very high on the IQ test?

I see you make up in manners what your father lacks.

I see.

I sent it to Mork bleams ago and I haven't heard from him since.

I shaved my face so close so that other children can identify with me.

I should be going to school like the rest of the children, that's all.

I should be going to school.

I should never cook on medication.

I should never have sat on the Texas side.

I sold my Air Libya stock, and look, we got $2.

I still love you.

I suppose I'm not invited to dinner either.

I suppose you're wondering why.

I tell Orson Monty called. Na no.

I tell you, there's trouble.

I think Exidor is onto something hot here, Mind.

I think he's got a great new concept. You've heard of Old Amos?

I think I should start at the beginning

I think I'd like one of those myself.

I think it's about time you guys came in for a landing.

I think Mindy is confused and apprehensive

I think we had some milk around here once.

I think what you need is a sign from Baba Love.

I thought nobody'd ever look in here.

I thought the only difficult part of being a parent

I thought you wanted to grow up to be just like me.

I told him to insulate.

I told Mork he wouldn't fit in the sink.

I waited for you in the sandbox.

I wanna ask you, have you ever?

I wanna be like the rest of the children. I'm not going to sit here

I wanna go to school and I said I wanted to go to school.

I wanna go to school.

I wanna shower my son with gifts,

I want him to have everything I've never had and still don't.

I want those pockets turned inside out. What have you got to hide?

I want to be happy But I won't be happy

I want to talk about love just for a moment.

I was just trying to appeal to the intellectual fringe.

I was shooting for bed, but he's right.

I was skiing on my head.

I was the only kid that couldn't get in the wire basket.

I was there. I blew it.

I went out to the airport, you see, to try to get some flights to Ork.

I will go feed the love attack dogs.

I will. It's the governor.

I wish I could believe that.

I wish you could believe that too, Mind.

I wonder if there's anything Earthling about him.

I work five hours on a report,

I wouldn't wear the muff.

I'd be giving up any chance I might have to have a normal life.

I'd love to play "Space Invaders." Go for some pizza, maybe get married.

I'll be more comfortable on the couch.

I'll be Russia and you play a small third world country

I'll check and see if it's still liquid.

I'll commute.

I'll find, you know... I'll find something to do upstairs in my room.

I'll give you the extra minute and make it midnight tomorrow night.

I'll go out and look for him and you stay here in case he comes back.

I'll send by Exidor to pick up my clothes.

I'll tell you some other things.

I'll tell you what. Why don't we shake and make up?

I'm a freak.