Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Season 8 Edit

A $300 bottle of wine? Are you serious?

A baby could have kicked that ball,

A ball went through my legs and cost us the game.

A big Jew and you still told him to take off his Jew cap.

A big Jew. Big.

A bill from the therapist?

A black guy.

A BLACK, AN ASIAN AND ARE YOU A JEW PERCHANCE?

A body I would like to get my hands on.

A computer. I don't live here. You're making a mistake.

A date is an experience you have with another person

A good break in the action.

A little bit of investment is gonna go a long way.

A little bit... shit bow.

A little to the left... Or the right.

A lot of it depends on Jerry's schedule, which is crazy.

A lot of kikes liked the show,

A lot of people call me who are suicidal.

A nice ******* gentleman has volunteered.

A one... a one armed man?

A phony, a fraud, a prevaricator.

A section that's not used as much as the ice cream

A Shiva call for a dog?

A SHOFAR. WHY IS THIS ON YOUR DES?

A ski that comes in two pieces.

A supplement? What the fuck is that?

A vet, do they make as much as a doctor?

A woman goes to a gynecologist. He says, "get up on the table",

About race, creed and color.

About their problems or themselves.

Absolutely, sir. The tape, staples...

Actually, I'm realizing now

Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

Admit it, the only reason you're going out with her

AFTER HE PURCHASES IT, SO HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS WITH THE FOOD.

Again with the softee theme...

Again.

Ah, she texted me.

Ah, well.

Ah! ( Groaning )

Ah! It's good.

Ah! Yes yes yes,

Ah.

Ah. Wow. That's some car.

Aha!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh.

Ahh. Funkhouser: And what happens?

Al abbas best original chicken.

All good. 4:00, the car will be downstairs waiting for you.

All night long I was like in this position.

All of a sudden I heard this softee music.

All over Hollywood and Beverly Hills.

All right then. Shall we?

All right, can I tell you something?

All right, come on, yari.

ALL RIGHT, DON'T SCREAM AT ME. I'M NOT GONNA BE INTIMIDATED

All right, everyone. Bon appã©tit.

All right, fine. I'll play a little scrabble.

All right, go down. We'll make a right.

ALL RIGHT, GOOD LUCK.

All right, I can't understand you.

All right, I got the point. I got the point.

All right, I made a mistake.

All right, I'll be on the lookout for that.

All right, I'm on my way.

All right, Janie.

All right, Larry, what do you got?

All right, Larry. Two away. Two away.

All right, let's go, Larry.

All right, let's just say I had something she really wanted.

All right, listen.

All right, look,

All right, look, here's what we'll tell him:

All right, make a right. Make a right.

All right, now get to your left a little bit.

All right, see you.

All right, so same time... 2:00?

All right, that's enough! Just get the fuck over here!

All right, we gotta get going.

All right, we'll do 30 seconds and one more... the last one.

All right, what the hell is this?

ALL RIGHT!

All right! Okay! I'm going!

All right? We'll be back.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. ( Sighs ) I'll take you home.

All right. I'll give you some.

ALL RIGHT. NOW YOU SEE, THESE SAMOAS,

All right. Okay. All right, you want to be a dick, be a dick.

All right. So, you hungry?

All right. Thank you.

All right. Well, listen,

All she wanted to talk about was how she dances,

All that shit I fuckin' know.

ALL THE BITCHES I HAD IN HERE, MAN.

All this fuckin' time and shit.

All we have to do is finish on 18 and we win.

All you did was change it around.

All: THANK YOU.

Ally: Mr. simmington! Mr. simmington!

Almost 90â°.

Also, future reference, just to note

Although if you told me that it wasn't fine,

Although, does it really? I mean, you know and I know.

Although, I mean, now that you mention it.

Am I to understand that you charged me

An automobile periscope... It's nutty.

And a ground ball went through my legs.

And after I put half of them away.

And allow you to go out there and allow a lesbian

And another thing, I fuck my husband four or five times a week.

And any one of us could sit in any of these seats.

AND ASK ME IF I WANTED TO GO FOR A NOSH.

And asked me to play at his funeral.

And built.

And by the way, don't... Like I told you earlier,

And by the way, if you're dating somebody who takes their clothes off in public,

And came home on the subway and it was very crowded

And chicken. Enjoy.

And come over and say something to me unless Jeff put you up to it.

And decided to move over.

And did you wipe it away?

And everybody will be even.

And expect a motherfucker to be happy with that shit.

And go to the farmer's market and I just need a little bit of...

AND GOT ABOUT 30 FEET AND FELL.

And he eats all my food.

And he enjoyed

And he hasn't died.

And he kept me waiting for 45 minutes.

And he never gave the computer back.

And he said, "you play?" He hired me that day

And he told you to do this? For what purpose?

And he's been trying to get rid of you.

And he's worried about what will happen to britain.

And hopefully there won't even be another bump into.

And hot and disgusting.

And I am going to get that cabinet back.

And I am gonna get that cabinet back for us.

And I beat Rosie.

AND I CAN CALL YOU BALD. IT'S LIKE BLACK PEOPLE CALLING EACH OTHER ****A.

And I can see now

And I can't help feeling, Vance, that I failed him.

And I didn't realize it. I went to rabbi Stein. Do you know her?

And I feel such a sense of guilt.

And I figured I'd track you down.

And I gave it to this guy

AND I GOT THE HOUSE

AND I GOTTA MOVE TO A NEW HOUSE NOW. I LIKE THIS HOUSE, MAN.

And I had to give up a cabinet.

And I heard the softee music again and I couldn't perform.

And I heard the softee theme...

And I just did it.

And I just wanted to know how you felt about it.

And I paid $200 for his ticket...

And I picked up a little something for somebody's birthday.

And I rededicated my life to judaism.

AND I SAID I'D BE VERY INTERESTED.

And I saw him bowing,

And I see no evidence at all that anybody was crying.

And I think she just got confused.

And I think you may also remember Karen.

And I think, "what would steinbrenner say right now?"

And I wanted... you know, I'm stuck in traffic

And I was just wondering, maybe...

And I was told that, you know, coach isn't allowed to use first class.

And I would be holding the job for my daughter.

And I'll tell you what. You do that for me,

And I'm competing for her affection against a lesbian.

And I'm gonna bring him to you.

And I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

And I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

And I'm thinking there should be a periscope.

And I'm... I'm sorry.

And I've been late a few times with him and I need an excuse

And I've decided that I...

And if she gives the okay, would you play?

And if you don't play, we all drop out. It's over for us.

And it was closed.

AND IT WOULD BE 20 MORE YEARS OF BOREDOM."

AND IT'S KIND OF A LITTLE PRECARIOUS RIGHT NOW.

And it's not just a one time thing.

And it's not my problem anymore.

And Jeff was driving!

And just stare at all the breasts?

And Larry David's here.

And let's face it, she's got the lesbian advantage.

And my guess is she's living in some dump

And my hope was that I was doing that for you.

And now he's turning into one of those guys in Beverly Hills.

And now I know that I stink.

And now I shall eat where I shat.

And now they're going home.

And now we can find the rightful owner.

And of course I lost almost every hand.

And perhaps apologize...

AND PUSH IT PUSH IT.

And saundra was so upset when she came home.

And say how excited we are for dinner.

AND SECONDLY, IF YOU SUSPECT THAT HE'S STEALING ANOTHER BUFFET FROM YOU,

And several people who he has refered to me

AND SHARE WITH SOMEONE WHO'S ORDERED OFF THE MENU.

And she either accepts you or not.

And she wanted to go home and spend some time with him

And she was not at her father's bedside when he passed away.

AND SHE'S A WOMAN. SHE LEFT STUFF UPSTAIRS

And should it be a life they give,

And some fabulous desserts, which by the way

And something happened when I saw the doctor.

And speaking of those women, a couple of days ago

And tell me how I should stop saying "I.O.L."?

AND TELL NAN TO GO ON MY TRIP.

And tell you to have a nice lunch. It was so nice to meet you.

And thank you so much. Okay.

AND THAT'S WHAT YOU DO ON YOUR DATES?

And that's... ask around.

And the mole is absolutely fine.

AND THE PILLOWS. I'M GIVING YOU ALL THOSE PILLOWS.

AND THE TOP OF THE PIE THAT LOOKS SO NICE

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU'RE SITTING ACROSS FROM ME AND I'M GOING

AND THEN HE'D CALL ME MAYBE ONCE A MONTH

And then Jeff and susie with the kid.

And then now you're coming up with some fictitious person

And then that night I was in bed with a woman

And then the trip got delayed again.

And then up from this side. You know what I mean?

And then we gotta go to the inventor.

And then we have a lot of one things to choose...

And there was a Japanese fellow

And there's somebody that looks like you sitting in that chair,

And they brought in catering and we had Sushi.

And they charged me $200.

And they have this event... It's like a field day,

And to this day

And use my machine anytime you want.

And usually I'm 10 out of 10.

And very often he would hire them for an hour,

And we don't want you here at the agency anymore. ( Both laugh )

And we had a box to ourselves.

And we need one more guy to fill out the minyan.

And we never have lunch in that city,

And we'd love to have you there.

And we're making evil plans.

AND WE'RE SITTING IN THE OWNER'S BOX.

And what about you?

And what exactly are they saying?

And when I feel I stink I'm good.

And when you first start dating you always do things that are distasteful.

And whenever I see a man who's happy, he's single.

And you can bring up your issues

And you can talk to Karen and you can talk to saundra

AND YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME.

And you just feel so complete,

And you know what would be wonderful, Larry?

And you know what? I'm not calling you dog anymore.

And you know what? You don't have to worry about choking

And you look fantastic, by the way.

And you saw her when? Monday?

And you say you love that roach, I'm gonna do what I can

AND YOU USED HIRIAM KATZ FOR YOUR DIVORCE?

And you, I wouldn't let you represent me now.

And you'd be carrying it like a pool cue.

And you'll rot in hell. Okay?

And you'll see it on the screen in the front.

And you're a spiritual person. You understand this.

And your enthusiasm for inventions,

And your goddamn five lb bread and stick it up your fucking ass!

And your signature... come on.

And, um... well, that's not the funny part.

And... I said something I shouldn't have said.

ANDREW BERG WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH JULIE

Angels too? How about that?

Antoinette: Bye, nice to see you. Larry David's office.

Any man can do that shit. Your mom's maiden name... ratner. You know what I mean?

Any questions I had about this guy

Anything else?

Anyway, do you want to go to lunch with us?

Anyway, I didn't want to interrupt. I just wanted to say hi

Anyway, I don't know. Do you like... I got some mixed nuts.

Anyway, so we were at this restaurant,

Anyway, so what do you think about it?

Anyway, so what I did was, I have a crude prototype, right,

Anyway, we're going to be seeing each other around campus,

Apologize? ...For any discomfort you caused them.

APOLOGY ACCEPTED. THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.

Apparently you've been living here with Mr. David

Are either of you gentlemen *******?

Are we all right?

Are you absolutely sure that you want to deal with this here? I mean, while we're here?

Are you all right? What's going on?

Are you gonna beef up the security in the bag?

Are you juicing?

Are you kidding me with the pineapple?

Are you kidding me? Is this a joke?

Are you kidding? "Oklahoma"?

Are you leaving right now? 'Cause I don't think we should run into each other again.

Are you listening?

Are you really pushing my drink back?

Are you saying I'm a narcissist?

Are you serious? Come on, that's not fair.

Are you serious? That's my idea. I had that idea.

Are you upstreaming me? You can't upstream me.

Are you worried she's gonna eat your popcorn?

Arghh!

AS A RESULT OF SOME DIFFICULTIES WITH HER FATHER,

As a result of the dog pooping.

As an excuse for the racism.

As tempting as it is, kid,

ASK HIM WHY THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE ANY COOKIES!

Asshole!

ASSHOLE! YOU COST ME THE DODGERS.

AT ST. CHRISTOPHER'S. THEY ACTUALLY SAT NEXT TO EACH OTHER

At the end of emails and text messages,

At the five man team club champions.

AT THE GRIP LOCATION WITH YOUR THUMB AND MIDDLE FINGER."

At the last minute and hasn't rescheduled yet.

At the will call window I picked up the ticket

At this new location they're trying to open.

At this table, but look at this woman.

Attendant: Welcome aboard.

ATTORNEY AT LAW. HERE'S MY CARD.

ATTORNEY AT LAW. MAYBE I CAN STRAIGHTEN THIS OUT.

Aw aw.

Awesome. thank you for coming over.

B . It's closer to the d, yes.

Back in here after eating it?

BAD HABIT? PUT YOUR DRINK DOWN ON THE WOOD?

Balls are disgusting. They're hideous.

Based on hanging on, he'd die.

Bats and balls run the fucking world.

Be careful about the smiley faces.

Beautiful place. Why don't I just let you have the place?

Beautiful! Look at that... beautiful.

Because a bow is a bow.

Because I do miss him very very much.

Because I made an error? What are you, 12 years old?

Because I shouldn't have been invited in the first place.

Because I'm going to go to the biltmore downtown.

Because I'm great at the heimlich.

Because it looks like you could...

Because life is like this...

Because my dad died about two years ago.

Because no **** ever come here. They'd be so safe.

Because nobody likes a tattletale.

Because now you could be telling people my name.

Because of you I'm going to lose this beautiful woman

Because that's... I mean...

Because the parallel is he's fighting his own war, a class war.

Because the thing about it is that

BECAUSE THEN HE'S EATING IT. IT'S ALL HE CAN EAT ALSO.

Because they're a stupid animal.

Because we didn't invite you to joanie's bat mitzvah.

Because we never get a chance to eat in L.A.

Because we're not friends.

Because what, you think I'm gonna eat your popcorn?

BECAUSE YOU GOT THAT BULLSHIT ASS LAWYER WHO GOT US KICKED OUT OF HERE.

Because you know what? The only reason we're here together now

Because you really yelled at my dog.

Because you're sitting down there next to Hank.

Because you're the only one who can stand up to her.

Because your voice... when we came to your office your voice went up.

Believe me. You know what?

Berg: HEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE!

Between me and Heidi.

Big shit! You put the labels on, so what?

Blacks don't fuckin' blush.

Body survey?

Borrow, return.

Bow rules? I understand the bow rules.

Boy oh boy, my shoulder feels fantastic.

Boy, for a guy that can't talk, he has a pretty big mouth, doesn't he?

Boy, you really are your mother's daughter, aren't you?

Bring it in. Come on.

Buckner, fuck you. Go Buckner yourself.

But as you make the rounds, as you make the rounds,

But he bowed to 90â°.

BUT HE GIVE ME SPECIAL INSTRUCTION NOT TO OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOU.

But I am dying to know why in the hell aren't Jeff and susie coming?

But I don't... I don't need it.

But I got a bill in the mail today.

But I have to tell you I'm...

But I know that you drove the car

But I maintained my composure.

But I never act on them. What is that?

But I really do give a shit what you talked to my husband about.

But I told you I'm doing the shark show. They're gonna be back.

But I want to stop at the bakery and get some bread.

But I would think this probably would be a step up.

But I... I kinda banged into your car.

But I'm fuckin' hungry right now.

But I'm not like a first class person.

But I'm really gonna try and put moves on you

But I'm still going to use the bathroom.

BUT IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW ME AND WE HAD JUST MET,

But it shows that in this area

BUT KYRA SAID YOU WERE INTERESTED IN BUYING THEM.

But let me just make sure I understand.

But let me just say this, okay?

But let me propose an alternative here.

But let's just say this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

But listen, the thing... Did you throw your arm out?

But my relationship with this restaurant

But my wife ilene, she says "I.O.L."

But neither of us have eaten since breakfast.

But next time, if I come back again

But no sandwich mentioned.

But nobody else looked trustworthy.

But now New York is haunted.

But now... that's why you asked me and not these other people,

But one person thinking it's affected,

But overhear some of the conversation you were having

But she has magnificent breasts.

But somebody came to me with an idea.

BUT THAT'S JUST THAT'S A PART OF IT,

But that's not really an invention.

But that's really not quite what I had in mind.

BUT THE REAL IT WOULDN'T BE A PIE WITHOUT THE FILLING.

But then I got "pandemonium." We're shooting it right across the street.

But we can definitely work something out.

But we're talking about the Tonys here, okay?

But what I'm looking to raise money for is this.

But when I borrow something, I return.

But when that happens...

But why would he offer it to me? I don't feel right about that.

But you could still come though.

But you didn't say we shouldn't go.

But you got a girl out of it.

But you know what?

But you know, the fact that you're wearing glasses,

But you sit next to your husband. I'm a little confused.

But you... but you...

But you'll really be in deep shit if you don't.

But you're shitting where you eat.

But, man, oh man, they know what they're doing chickenwise.

But, you know, I kind of...

But, you know, you look at these kids

BY A BUNCH OF GIRL SCOUTS. I CAN TELL YOU THAT.

By spaniards?

By the way, are you dating a burlesque dancer?

By the way, I did notice in the show

By the way, I gotta tell you, you're doing a fantastic job.

By the way, I have a very good idea for you.

By the way, I saw the show? It stinks.

By the way, things many times are not great with susie and I.

By the way, very nice house, if you don't mind my saying.

By the way, you're the one who took my stuff

By the way, your lunch is on me.

By you just focusing on a woman's breasts and nipples

Bye, Larry.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye. See you after the game. See you Thursday.

Bye. Love you too.

C o o n.

Can I ask him why he wouldn't call me first?

Can I turn around or is that...

Can they dare open up a palestinian chicken restaurant

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT STUPID REMARK YOU SAID TO ME

Can you believe this? It's over by the regency on park.

Can you get mookie Wilson to sign this for Jeff's birthday?

Can you go get it, Jeff? Okay?

Can you move forward, please?

Can you tell me how it happened?

Can you think of anything? I need some help.

Can't call him. We can't call him.

Can't you see I'm in pain here?

Center stage.

Championship game. Bring it in, everybody.

Check to cheek contact from men... that's unacceptable.

CHERYL AND HER LAWYER ARE GOING TO BE HERE IN A MATTER OF MINUTES.

CHERYL, WAIT ONE SECOND! NO NO, I THINK SHE LEFT THE RING STAIN. HOLD ON.

Cheryl: LARRY.

CHERYL!

CHERYL.

Chocolate pretzels? Get the hell out of here!

Cleanly before she even saw you.

Clutching my little c.P.A. Degree in my hot hand.

Cocksucking fucking fatso!

Come along. You can't talk to her anyway during a play, can you?

Come here. Come here.

Come here. Come here.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on! You can do it.

Come on, face the ground.

Come on, it was in your hands. How could you miss that ball? Are you serious?

Come on, it's over. She's taking her to the Tonys.

Come on, little Larry.

Come on, man. Let me see your place, man.

Come on, what'd you do? Did you sneak in some of that glycerin?

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. ( Snapping )

Come to disgusting strip clubs?

Come with us. You're a Jew.

Come! What's the matter? There's no decision.

COMING IN HERE TO TELL ME THIS.

COMING IN HERE TO TELL ME THIS.

COMING! YES, MAY I HELP YOU?

Congratulations on a great attempt at a chat and cut.

CONGRATULATIONS. CONGRATULATIONS.

Congratulations. That was gorgeous.

COOK INTERESTED COOK MORE INTERESTED THAN ME,

Coon?

Coon.

CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG,

Could be the next Mrs. David.

Could I interrupt you? I've got an emergency.

Could you just keep an eye on my computer for me?

Couldn't be happier.

Couldn't move my neck from Tuesday morning.

Dad, oh my god. Dad!

Dad!

Damn it, where is he?

Did anybody see... did anybody see a one armed man?

Did I mention that I had a soup and sandwich for dinner?

Did I tell Larry that? Of course I wouldn't tell Larry that.

Did my pissant husband tell you to do this?

Did you enjoy the wine the other day?

Did you get the whole head?

Did you have anything you wanted to say to saundra?

Did you hear the fucking idiots talking all the way through as well?

Did you like the air fucking number I did?

Did you look like your great aunt?

Did you notice, by any chance,

Did you put one of these disgusting things

DID YOU SPEAK TO ANDY TODAY? OUR FEARLESS ATTORNEY?

Did you tell him to come over to me

DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEY TOOK **** AT ST. CHRISTOPHER'S.

DIDN'T YOU RECOMMEND HIRIAM KATZ TO O'DONNELL?

Dinner, bring the wives?

DISCUSS WHY THE HELL WE GOT MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Do they kind of huddle together and whisper?

Do they seem morose?

Do what?

Do you believe this crap? Look at this.

Do you care... honestly?

Do you even... Do you know her at all?

Do you have the most thoughtful wife in the world?

Do you hear... Not a bow like that.

Do you know a kid once stabbed me in class?

Do you know anything about Keegan's club?

Do you know that... The chicken place

Do you know what the Japanese guy in the park actually said about your bow?

Do you know what, Larry?

Do you mind if I take a cabinet?

Do you mind my asking where you're going?

DO YOU RESPECT WOOD?

Do you see anything on my forehead? Is there a little Mark there?

DO YOU THINK THERE'S ANY CHANCE WE COULD HAVE SEX?

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Does she run the show? Tell me the truth.

Doesn't even acknowledge your right to exist...

Don't disgrace me. Get out of my... yari's! Get out!

Don't drive a red Volvo.

Don't hurt me. I'll go back to my seat.

Don't impose your desires on my whole cuisine.

DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER, AS THEY SAY.

Don't leave your popcorn in the bathroom.

Don't let the door go through your legs on the way out, Buckner.

Don't pay attention to that jerk.

Don't say anything about this, all right?

DON'T SIGN ANYTHING. I'M ON MY WAY UP TO YOUR OFFICE.

Don't wear that hat.

DON'T WORRY. I THINK I'VE GOT SOMETHING THAT WILL STOP THE BLEEDING.

Don't you reach for that. Don't you ever touch that.

Don't you tell me to get out of your...

Don't you think the sorry window has closed on that?

Don't... don't mention this to anybody.

Donna is working tomorrow night. She can't come.

Donna: Just give him your shoes.

Donna: Larry, is that true?

Double letters go for the "w."

Down at that end of the table. Annoying everybody.

Dr. thurgood, allow me to introduce myself.

Dr. thurgood, we spoke for all of three minutes.

Drew it with sunblock and then I fell asleep in the sun.

Drop it! Drop it!

Easy job. Be ready tomorrow like I said, okay?

Easy out.

Eat my popcorn? That's...

Eddie: All right. Hey, funkhouser's in there too.

Eh, I think I can.

Eh, not necessary.

Eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, times three... 42.

Encroachment.

ENJOY YOUR BRUNCH.

Enjoy.

Enjoy.

Enormous, sweaty, just filled with spunk...

ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING WHAT HAPPENED WITH MY DAUGHTER.

ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING WHAT HAPPENED WITH MY DAUGHTER.

Even the British version.

EVEN THE OWNER OF THE DODGERS, O'DONNELL, HE GETS A DIVORCE.

Every now and then a pig, once a horse, but it's pretty rare.

Every one of you all, give yourselves a clap on the hand.

Every time after my mom takes a sip of something,

Every time after my mom takes a sip of something,

Every time you take a sip...

Everybody brings wine. I bring bread.

Everybody knows who directed "star wars."

Everybody wants to see those. Who wants to see balls?

Everybody's doing it! I was just leveling the playing field!

Everybody's gotta move down now because of him.

Everyone wants to see what's going on ahead of them.

Everyone wants to see where the traffic is.

Everything gonna be secured for you, okay?

EVERYTHING OKAY?

EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE, LARRY.

Exactly. You say what everybody's thinking.

Excellent. ( Clicks tongue ) thanks.

Excellent. You know, don't... don't talk about that.

EXCEPT PROBABLY APOLOGIZE TO THESE PEOPLE AND MAYBE BUY THEM A ROUND OF DRINKS.

Excuse me one second.

Excuse me one second. I think that's bill Buckner.

Excuse me, are you happy with that park?

Excuse me, did you see a one armed man?

EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE A SCISSOR?

Excuse me, I've just gotta run out for one second.

Excuse me, is this your little idea?

Excuse me, Larry. Here's your tea.

EXCUSE ME, MAYBE I CAN HELP. HELLO, I'M HIRIAM KATZ,

Excuse me, susie. Where is the toilet?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Do you speak english?

Excuse me. What?

Fantastic. And let me ask you this question:

Fantastic. Oh yes.

Fantastic. Okay, let's go.

Fantastic. Tonight I'm gonna bring it.

Father: You be quiet and you listen to me.

FIRST OF ALL, I COMMEND YOU ON THE DEMOGRAPHICS.

First of all, I would fucking throw the fuck up.

FIRST OF ALL, IN YOUR IMPLIED CONTRACT WITH THIS MAN

First off, I want to apologize

First off, I'm appalled by what you just said to me.

For Christ's sake, I'll get it myself. Where's the drink cart?

For Christ's sake.

For exactly what you do.

For him to have a last meal?

For him to save it? You see what I'm getting at?

For **** who are cheating on their spouses

For like... what what... What did you say it was?

For me just as it is for them.

For my behavior at the party.

For my daughter to get back to work.

For putting my feet up and putting you in this compromising position?

For talking to me on line at the baseball card show?

For the best sex I've ever had anywhere.

Forget it.

Forget it. You know why? Because the important thing is

Four and one... Five and two is seven.

Four or five times a fucking week.

Frankly, I don't know what I'm doing down there.

From what the real agenda is.

Frozen margaritas and put flowers there.

Fruit chews? You know how bad those are for your teeth?

Fuck me like Israel fucks my people!

Fuck me, you fucking Jew!

Fuck me, you Jew bastard!

Fuck their sisters in the cunt? Who talks that way?

FUCKING RIGHT I DID! HOW YOU GONNA FUCK BITCHES

Fucking Tony. Who the fuck is Tony?

FUCKING TWO BITCHES IN YOUR BED.

FUCKING TWO BITCHES IN YOUR BED.

Fucking walking in with a goddamn jump rope hanging from your fucking pants.

Funkhouser: How in the world,

Funkhouser: Why shouldn't she be here?

Funkman. Look who's here.

Gaby: Mm, that's so good.

GARDENER INTERESTED, CHAUFFER INTERESTED,

Get my clothes on and drive to a fucking restaurant,

Get off the phone. Who are you talking to?

GET OUT THERE AND GET SOME NEW ASS, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

Get out, both of you. You ruined the gift.

Get that off.

Get the order right, secure the food.

Get your own cab!

GETTING A CHANCE TO GET DIVORCED EXCEPT ME.

Give it to me! Don't ever grab my yarmulke, ever.

Give it to me. Take it off.

Give me a fucking ride. What's the matter?

GIVE ME FIVE BOXES OF EACH OF THEM.

Give me that bill, man. Fucking around.

Give me that purse. Give it to me.

Give me the cake, Larry!

Give that to Jeff now. Replace the ball you lost.

Given the fact that I bought you a bottle of wine for $300.

Glasses gets the job. No glasses, no job.

Gloves don't catch gloves. We have the advantage.

Go around to Washington square park, all right?

Go for a really long drive.

Go out of their way to do stuff for them.

GO TO ST. CHRISTOPHER'S? ISN'T THAT A CATHOLIC SCHOOL?

Go with me on that one. You're an idea man.

Go! Faster!

God damn it. Sit next to your husband.

God, that store was so crowded.

GONNA HAVE SOME SORT OF LIGHT SALAD.

Good luck at your wiffle ball game or whatever.

Good night.

Good play, Larry.

Good, thanks.

Good. Thank you.

Good. What's happening?

GOODBYE. GOODBYE.

Got any... got any of that stuff?

Got it. But it doesn't make sense, Larry.

Gotta find out what the fuck the story is.

Grand funk railroad. I don't want to reveal his name because...

Great great great, I'll see you in a couple of minutes.

Grieving process

Ground ball goes to first, second or third or home.

Guess where I was.

GUESS WHERE THE FUNKMAN IS GOING FOR THREE WEEKS.

GUESS WHO'S GETTING A DIVORCE.

GUY PULLS UP NEXT TO ME ON A MOTORCYCLE,

H a d...

Ha ha!

Ha ha! I'm in the house!

Ha ha! Leon in the motherfucking house!

Ha ha.

Had? That's all you can think of... had?

Happy. What in the fuck is she talking about?

Have a nice day.

Have canceled at the last minute and have not rescheduled.

Have fun talking. Ha ha.

Have the doctors...

Have you any idea why such a thing would take place?

Have you done a background check? I mean, inventors...

Have you ever had ******* food before?

Have you ever heard of anything like that?

Have you noticed that they're making laces much longer than they used to?

HAVING SAID THAT,

He a little dismissive of you.

He bought a bottle of wine for $300.

He can have anybody. He chose her.

He can't stand up to her. He's scared of her.

He didn't mess around with all the extraneous notes.

He didn't say it. It was me. I told Larry to tell you.

He doesn't like the way she keeps saying "I.O.L."

He fixed my elbow. He fixed my shoulder. The guy's great.

He gave me his computer to watch...

HE GAVE UP MY HOUSE, THAT IDIOT!?

He goes, "my god, Mrs. Johnson, you've got a big vagina."

He has a right to do what he wants. He's an adult.

He has no balls. I have a solid single ball.

HE HAS NO TICKET!

He has to announce it. He can't just do something nice.

He hasn't practiced for... like a month I haven't seen him out here.

HE HIT ME.

He is not authentic. He doesn't know.

He just moved in, doesn't pay any rent

He just revolutionized the way restaurants work, my friend.

He knows all about me. He knows my mother's maiden name.

He looks very happy.

He loved pinkberry and Larry and Jeff went to get it

He loves the pinkberry so much.

He made out like you were a granddad, you know?

He made you wait for 45... Are you lying to me?

He massages it. He gives you exercises for it.

He needs his last meal.

He offered it to me. I had to say no.

He played for the band, what was the name of it?

He recently canceled an appointment with me

HE REDID MY ENTIRE DIVORCE SETTLEMENT. YOU'VE GOT TO USE HIM.

He said he'd forget about the money for the car,

He said shit bow?

He saw a little piece of music

He says winning all day, every day or go away.

He thought I had a lot of passion... passion for music

He thought I was his dead sister, but he wasn't a racist.

He tore the bill up, threw it in the garbage. Done.

He used to frequent prostitutes.

He used to watch you all the time.

He wasn't a racist.

He went down to the subway.

He would say

He would... he would deny it if you actually said something to him.

He'd have pee stains on his pants constantly.

He's a big Red Sox fan and he can't be in the same room with bill Buckner.

He's an asshole.

He's an impartial third party.

He's been manipulated. You manipulated him, that's what it is.

He's crossing the street. Check it out.

He's gonna be happy to help you out. Good to see you, Larry.

He's got a little surprise for you.

He's in pain. He's gonna die soon.

He's in the hospital, but they say he's gonna be fine.

He's in town doing a play right next door.

He's just gonna come out here on Saturday and play great?

He's kind of, you know, lingering.

He's smart. He's good looking.

He's taken a vow of silence,

He's your best friend, you sit next to him.

Hello? No, I can't find it.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. Oh my god, are you serious?

Hello. Oh! Well, this is quite a party.

Henry, I don't mind telling you it stung.

Henry, I like myself when I'm with her.

Henry. Great to run into you again.

Her dog pooped all over my lawn three times.

Here is your key. Here is your key.

Here we go. How's your arm?

Here we have a fully articulated antenna, okay?

HERE YOU GO, ALL RIGHT.

Here you go. It's $200.

Here, just put it on your lap.

Here, you can hold it. Hold it.

Here's my DVD... $30. No, I'd never say it.

Here's what I want you to do, okay?

Here's where they came from. ( Mock sobbing )

Hey hey, look who it is.

Hey hey. Bye.

Hey, buck, come on. It was a good throw. You bobbled it.

Hey, could you do me a favor, Larry?

Hey, do me a favor and remind me to pick up my glove later. I'm getting it restitched.

Hey, dog!

Hey, don't fuck things up for me. Sit down.

Hey, don't worry about it, Larry.

Hey, Dr. thurgood.

Hey, here's a thought. Let's go to lunch.

HEY, HOW ABOUT O'DONNELL INVITING ME TO SIT IN HIS BOX?

Hey, I didn't even see that much.

Hey, I just found out the klein team blew up.

Hey, I'm dino from big dog productions.

Hey, I've got to talk to you.

Hey, if it wasn't for fucking burlesque,

Hey, Larry David. Ricky gervais left a ticket for me.

Hey, Larry.

Hey, Lewis, where the hell are you?

Hey, listen, I'm sorry to have to tell you this,

Hey, listen. So I've got to talk to you about something.

Hey, nice pillow.

Hey, Richie boy!

Hey, Richie, I'm on my way to the vet's.

Hey, right?

Hey, Rosie. Look who's here.

Hey, susie, guess what?

Hey, thanks for calling. That's so sweet of you.

Hey, there he is. Ricky.

HEY, THIS IS YOU KNOW JOE O'DONNELL, THE OWNER OF THE DODGERS.

Hey, this is America. They can do whatever they want.

Hey, this is... This is... I can't...

Hey, Vance, Vance, thanks for coming.

Hey, Vance, what did you think of dinner?

Hey, Vance.

Hey, we're so excited to have dinner with you guys.

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, what are you doing? I was here first.

Hey, what are you doing? I'm standing here.

Hey, what are you doing? Where's my ticket?

Hey, why don't we have dinner on Saturday night?

Hey, you dropped your yarmulke!

Hey, you know, we're making out here.

Hey, you won two world championships since then. That's not enough for you?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Friend of mine. You might know him.

Hi, first of all.

Hi, honey. Good to see you.

Hi, how are you doing?

HI, IS THIS LARRY DAVID'S HOUSE?

HI, MR. LARRY DAVID,

Hi, nice to meet you. Wow, you never told me about Heidi.

Hi, sir. We're responding to a domestic battery call.

Hi, sweetie. Sorry I'm late.

Hi. A little bit of a surprise for all of you.

Hi. here to pick up an order for Larry David.

Hi. Hi. This is my friend Richard. This is Vance.

HMM?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Ho ho ho!

Ho ho! Look who's in the motherfucking house!

Hold it, hold it. There's many things you can say about this guy.

Hold the fuck on, bitch. Hold the fuck up. God damn.

Hold this.

Hold up, hold up. My shoe is untied.

Holy shit.

Honestly, this whole thing never would have happened if you didn't separate the couples.

Honey, can you get the rest of the bags?

Hopefully there's an afterlife. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

How about the marm here, huh? How about this marm?

How am I gonna watch this for three hours?

How are you doing?

How are you doing? You holding up okay?

How are you feeling?

How are you, man? Hey, what's up, man?

How can you not tell me you were going to see Stella?

How could you even suggest that I would think that?

How dare you?! Don't ever touch my yarmulke.

How did he hit your car?

How did I not... oh my god.

How did this... what?

How did you deal with all that stuff?

How did you get the rabbi to let me play?

HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M DOING IT RIGHT?

How expensive a bottle of wine would you order?

How long do you think the...

How long you got to do this play for?

How often do you have sex?

How the crowd loves her and...

How you doing, lar?

How you kind of...

How'd the, uh... the kogel, uh...

How'd you get this section? I thought you were down there.

How's it going? Having fun?

How's that rash?

However, they considered it fair and he considered it fair

Huh, interesting.

Huh?

Huh? Let me alone. Don't yell at me.

Huh? Leave him out of that?

Huh? Let's play.

Huh.

Huh.

Huh.

Huh. Are you sure?

I

I actually moved him in with me.

I actually think I'm going to do very well tonight. ( Seat rattling )

I agree with you. But listen, man, I am starving.

I already told you he played for grand funk railroad.

I always think of nice things

I am clean and I am fair.

I am going to do something nice

I am so proud of every one of you.

I am so sorry.

I am sorry.

I am. I am the husband of the brit.

I apologize for the Caucasian race.

I appreciate it, Larry, but I changed my mind.

I appreciate that. Thank you, my friend.

I ask for a little ride across town.

I asked him about it and he said

I believe in this inventor.

I believe that's called a smiley face.

I believe they refer to that as a smiley face.

I believe this belongs to you, young lady.

I bet it has something to do with his son, the special needs kid.

I bet she heard about it from a friend in there.

I bet you will.

I brought it here.

I came alive in areas that have been dry like the Sahara desert.

I came over here for another reason.

I can have chicken at this anti semitic shithole.

I can make an assumption on this one

I can put up those numbers anytime.

I can tell. You guys...

I can't believe I'm getting this number.

I can't believe it. I had an incident at a softball game

I can't believe it. So you're telling me the truth?

I can't believe you would actually need

I can't do that. Nobody could pull that off.

I can't drive. I can't focus.

I can't go in wearing this yarmulke?

I can't quibble with the bow.

I can't stand it. And everybody uses them!

I can't trust you with my money. I'm sorry.

I can't turn down that block. It's one way.

I can't wait to see this movie.

I can't... I don't know where it is.

I canceled my appointment because you made Larry David

I cannot advocate you putting your money into this.

I cannot believe we talked him into coming here.

I care about Oscar right now, okay?

I CLOSE DOOR. MR. O'DONNELL SAY, "LARRY DAVID, CLOSE DOOR ON HIM."

I completely understand. And I don't think it will happen with your name.

I could be a burlesque dermatologist.

I could do better than this.

I could do it right now. By god, I'm gonna go into that room and do it.

I COULD LOSE THIS ENTIRE ORGANIZATION. THIS WHOLE TEAM!

I could've stole this motherfucker...

I couldn't even hold a glass a few weeks ago 'cause of my elbow.

I couldn't leave it there, so I took it with me

I couldn't say that. You're the only one who can come out with it, you know?

I deserved it actually.

I did give you $60.

I didn't ask about George Lucas but you just brought him up.

I didn't beat him. The one armed man did it.

I didn't confirm? We had... we had a plan.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING BAD TO MISS KYRA.

I didn't get it back and it's gone and so were you.

I didn't know Marilyn Monroe was on the base, sir.

I didn't play him. I wasn't playing him.

I didn't really do anything.

I DIDN'T REALLY GO AFTER A BALD MAN.

I DIDN'T RUN ANY WE HAD A NICE MARRIAGE FOR 20 YEARS.

I didn't say anything bad. I said she was beautiful.

I didn't see "sting I." I saw "sting ii."

I didn't see one, so I left it with you.

I DIDN'T THINK SO.

I didn't... I didn't know. 'Cause I heard you guys talking.

I do have something I'd like to say.

I do. Particularly women.

I don't believe you. 'Cause I told him if he didn't tell you

I don't care. I'm getting the cab.

I DON'T CARE. YOU'RE NOT COMING UP HERE AND STEALING THOSE!

I don't even have to run, Larry.

I don't feel funny about it. But if it makes you feel better

I don't feel like going on this date.

I don't give a shit what you enjoyed about my performance.

I don't give a shit, quite frankly.

I don't have any choice. You're like an appendage to us.

I don't have my book in front of me,

I don't have to go to... I don't have to make another plan.

I don't know how many other business managers you're meeting with, but...

I don't know how you can give a car back to somebody in this condition.

I don't know if I pass or fail.

I don't know if you picked up on that that.

I don't know if you've noticed or not,

I don't know what it is.

I don't know what the hell he's doing.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS.

I don't know what to do here, okay?

I don't know what to tell you.

I don't know where they were from.

I don't know where you were living before,

I don't know why I would apologize.

I don't know why they don't have specialties.

I don't know why we have to go through this charade. ( Gasps )

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. He didn't tell me.

I don't know. I was thinking pinkberry. You wanna go to pinkberry?

I don't know. I'll eat anything.

I don't know. What do you want to do?

I don't like being told what to do.

I don't like my clients to invest in inventions.

I don't like to have hot food for lunch.

I don't like to sound like a pig,

I don't like trainers, not into them.

I don't like what that says about you.

I don't live here.

I don't mean that as a racial thing either.

I don't really even know how to write cursive anymore.

I don't really give a shit about you.

I don't really know, but somebody obviously died.

I don't remember back then, but I'm just telling you

I don't think I'll take advantage of him.

I don't think so. They could perfect that.

I don't think we can work together anymore.

I don't think you would have.

I don't think you'd be my suicide call.

I don't trust him.

I don't want bread. I don't want to have bread.

I don't want it. Take it.

I don't want this accident to happen with me.

I don't want to be pushy or anything like that,

I DON'T WANT TO MOVE, MAN. I DON'T WANT TO UPROOT AGAIN

I don't want to reveal who he was, but he did direct "star wars."

I don't want to sit next to my husband. I'm with him all the time.

I don't want to wait that long.

I don't want you thinking that shit about me,

I don't want you thinking that shit about me,

I don't. Turn the boys into girls and...

I don't... I don't know, I just feel like eating while you're talking...

I explain it to you and you don't fucking get it.

I feel badly for you

I feel fuckin' bad now. Know what I mean?

I feel like if she had taken the top off

I feel terrible.

I feel very good about that interaction and...

I felt it right away. You know how you can feel it?

I find it a little troubling that you told me his name,

I find myself saying it's a multimillion dollar idea.

I fucking gets mine. You know I gets mine.

I gave you a cabinet. You took two?

I get backaches all the time.

I get it. You want to give me a test on it?

I go there every night.

I GOT A SWEDE LAWYER? SHE'S GONNA GET EVERYTHING!

I GOT AN EX WIFE AND I WAS MARRIED

I got distracted by the softee truck.

I got eight motherfuckers up in this car.

I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

I GOT JUST THE GUY.

I GOT PLENTY OF HOOKUPS, LARRY. YOU DON'T SEE THEM.

I got something to do. And he's a pleasure to play with.

I GOT SWEDED.

I got the stapler, tape.

I got to get mookie's autograph.

I got your little note.

I gotta go back... I'm going back to New York.

I gotta run. Take care. Bye.

I gotta tell you something. You know,

I gotta tell you something... We had so much fun

I guess I made an error.

I guess I'm just not a very good player.

I guess it's kind of, what? In your wallet now.

I guess you heard.

I guess you'll just have to back away because most of these women

I guessed you for a spaniard.

I had a client once, he was a rock guitarist.

I had a client. He was quite an illustrious well known director.

I had a client... He threw away millions

I had a softball game. I told you that.

I had authentic bow. Bow is a bow.

I had been looking for a black person

I had breast vision, I told you.

I had to get going and I gave it to someone.

I had to get out of that fucking house, man.

I happen to be in top physical shape.

I happen to be on the line so...

I have a 2:00. I don't get it. What are we working out?

I HAVE A BAD HABIT OF JUST PUTTING MY DRINK DOWN ON THE TABLE.

I have a hat in my car. It's a dodger hat.

I have a million ideas for things.

I have a personal issue with the inventor,

I HAVE A VAGUE RECOLLECTION,

I have asked you to give us some space.

I have breast vision and that's how I'm able to...

I have never taken performance enhancing drugs ever.

I have no idea what he's invented

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I have no problem with crying in a grocery store.

I have no space in here, so where do you suggest I put it?

I have noticed that white people revere black people in glasses,

I have some Japanese slippers you could change into out there.

I have something to tell you. You're not gonna believe what's happened.

I have to go. I have a piano lesson.

I have to masturbate before I come so I exhaust the area.

I hear a lot of good stuff about. Woman has a bipolar disorder.

I hear he keeps his patients waiting all the time.

I hear the chicken's really good, by the way.

I hit the low point. Like, I hit the low point the last time.

I hope there is no afterlife. I hope there's no afterlife.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND. I HATE TO SEE PEOPLE RIPPED OFF THAT WAY.

I hope you guys are working out eating this...

I hope you're planning on putting that stuff away somewhere.

I invented the chat and cut. This is amateur hour.

I JUST I MEAN

I just came from the doctor

I just can't believe, quite honestly,

I JUST DON'T GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

I just don't see anybody taking you down.

I just don't see why you had to yell at me.

I just got it out of the shop and it wasn't fixed.

I just had a croissant filled with motherfucking champagne.

I just had dinner with susie and Vance.

I just saw this hilarious YouTube video.

I just want to pee somewhere... everywhere.

I just want you to definitely definitely definitely keep us in mind.

I just wanted to give you a heads up on that.

I just wanted to give you a little bit of an idea

I just wanted to mention. I was in the park

I just would like to apologize

I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING THAT DIDN'T ADD UP ABOUT THAT GUY.

I know for a fact you did not learn a lesson.

I know for a fact you did not learn a lesson.

I know I don't have an appointment now,

I know it was you two idiots whispering all the way through my show.

I know that you're meant to be able to eat it at least.

I know the code to the fuckin' house and shit.

I know the woman was crying. I saw that.

I know we wanted to go out but my cat will not stop throwing up.

I know what he's doing. He's about to do a chat and cut.

I know what the fuck you're saying.

I know you asked me to watch the computer,

I KNOW, BUT I COULD CHARGE YOU FOR THEM IF I WASN'T BEING FAIR.

I know. By the way, I was this close

I KNOW. HOW ABOUT THAT?

I know. I'd just like to avoid the whole thing,

I know. I'm sorry.

I know. My grandfather had dementia.

I know... I know what she must be going through

I LIKE THAT MORE THAN THE PIE. I WOULD RATHER GET THAT

I like this new system you installed here.

I look like I've got a kitty

I love that bow. Come on, how many times do you get a bow in your life?

I made Larry David wait 45 minutes for an appointment?

I mean, come on.

I mean, do you remember Sully sullenberger?

I MEAN, I AM FIGHTING FOR EVERYTHING HERE.

I mean, I love your exuberance

I mean, I'd love for you to test drive it.

I mean, I'm tripping over these laces five times a day.

I mean, kind of like this that I'd mounted in my own Volvo.

I mean, that's ridiculous. You know, totally ridiculous.

I mean, that's who directed "star wars."

I mean, they can legally do it, true. But should they?

I mean, why would you say "I.O.L." Instead of just laughing at something?

I MEAN, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO AT ALL.

I merely alluded to the fact that he was a well known director.

I merely said a well known director. And here's my point.

I met the most fantastic woman tonight.

I might have. I have bad manners.

I need a ride. I don't want the fucking ball now.

I need a ride. My cousin's building is on fire.

I NEED TO CUT THE STRING HERE.

I need to get over there. What don't you understand about fire?

I need you to get this signed as a gift. Can you do that for me?

I need you to keep me away from no matter what.

I never let any of my patients wait 45 minutes.

I NEVER RECALL EVER SEEING A JEW ON A MOTORCYCLE.

I never saw it. I saw "the sting ii."

I NEVER TRAVEL WITH YOU. I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA. I'M GOING.

I never want to see you or your key

I never went to 'nam and I feel like this is sort of like... in a way

I NO LONGER WANT THEM.

I noticed you were all alone at the party.

I once said to his wife Rosemary...

I only chose it because I knew we were gonna split it.

I only met him once and he nipped at me.

I overslept, so I went to whole foods instead and I used my credit card.

I owe you $500, Larry says you owe him $500.

I paid for them. Yari's autonomics.

I perceive it as a little less idiotic than I normally would.

I really do. I think you have to present who you really are.

I really don't think it's gonna work.

I really felt terrible and thought I should...

I really need something to do right now

I really think we have a great chance this year.

I respect your skills, really.

I said scotch with two ice cubes. No water.

I SAW HIM ON THAT MOTORCYCLE

I saw the movie "gypsy" with Natalie wood.

I say that I will eat here again.

I see one arm. Are you sure that's the right one armed man?

I see the garbage truck. Unbelievable. Wow.

I see what this is. I see what this is.

I shouldn't even be here. I didn't even like the dog.

I started talking about how much pain

I still would have been happy because I would have said,

I stink.

I SUGGEST YOU GO PACK UP AND BRING YOUR STUFF DOWN.

I suppose, calls somebody for a Monday night.

I swear to god, I looked exactly...

I swear to god, I'd like to cancel right now.

I swear. I've been in cars

I tell you what I heard. There's gonna be a rally next week

I think about I'm like the steinbrenner.

I think all computers look alike.

I think an apology would be nice.

I think he charged me for talking to him at the card show.

I THINK HE'LL COME THROUGH FOR US THOUGH. I'M PRETTY CONFIDENT.

I think I know what it is. I'm sorry about the joke.

I think if you didn't want to sleep with her,

I think it'd be best if we'd bow out of Saturday night.

I think it'd be wonderful if you showed up...

I think it's very pejorative.

I think one more interaction I'm good to go.

I THINK SO. I THINK I GOT IT.

I think that's one of the perks of the job is picking up the tidbits.

I think that's why they're always pouring the water.

I THINK THE NAME OF THE HIGH SCHOOL WAS...

I think there was a little incident

I think we've taken us about as far as we can.

I think you should consider wearing glasses.

I think you've stumbled upon the perfect analogy

I thought he was giving it to me for free.

I THOUGHT HE WAS *******. HE SEEMED *******.

I thought that was a good sign.

I thought we were supposed to have lunch. Give me a call.

I thought you said he was old.

I thought you were a baseball player.

I thought you were somebody else.

I thought you were this guy who I told to watch

I thought you were this guy who I told to watch

I thought... you told me you were getting me a ticket.

I told you to give it to the guy when he comes back in, and what?

I too was upset when I saw the red Volvo

I took her home at the end of the night.

I took them out and put them together.

I trust him now.

I understood that. He said bye.

I wanna do it. I don't even wanna do it for them. I wanna do it for me.

I WANT TO GET THE CHANCE TO SPREAD MY WINGS.

I want to make that smaller.

I want to track him down.

I want you to win.

I WAS AT HIS HOUSE FOR HANUKAH.

I WAS CURIOUS AS TO WHY SHE WASN'T GOING.

I was fresh out of business school,

I was going to go to the bathroom.

I was here first.

I was home and I was talking to somebody.

I WAS INTERESTED AND NOW,

I was just curious, though, as you would be too

I was just going to say

I was just telling susie we're gonna have to put Oscar down.

I was just trying to get some ice cream.

I was offended that I was invited.

I was on the phone with an ex girlfriend who was suicidal,

I was originally gonna spend this next couple of months

I was sick from this, honest to god.

I was so sorry to hear about antoinette's father Jim.

I was surprised. I thought it was a bitch ass car.

I WAS TALKING TO CHERYL AND SHE TOLD ME

I was under the impression that you were picking up the ticket,

I was wondering if I could ask you

I WASN'T GOING TO MAKE A SECOND VISIT. THIS IS IT. THIS IS MY ONLY PLATE.

I watch what I eat and discipline.

I went through a bit of a midlife crisis

I went with, um, this friend of mine.

I will be the Edmund Hillary...

I will bring a bag. I didn't bring a bag today.

I will get the hell out of here if I see any touching at all.

I will. I will email it to you.

I wish I could. I wish I could,

I won't tell her that you said that.

I won't wear your name on my shirt again, that's a promise.

I wonder what Sully would have done if he was in my shoes?

I wonder what your spiritual advisor would say about that.

I would go maybe to the... Where the Japanese food is.

I WOULD HAVE GIVEN HER A TISSUE. SAME THING.

I would have zero interest in a person like you.

I would just like to apologize to you as well

I would laugh for hours about him screaming at the defendants...

I would like to impart that knowledge to her.

I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO CALL JULIA AND TELL HER YOU LEFT THE RING STAIN.

I would never do that to you or any other patient, Larry.

I would never, for instance, push you to something...

I would regurgitate my own shit. I would regurgitate and shit.

I would regurgitate my own shit. I would regurgitate and shit.

I would suggest, however, that the next time

I would think I'd better look at the price. I don't want to take advantage.

I would, lar. This show was hilarious.

I wouldn't be comfortable right now. I'd be all fucked up.

I wouldn't be here looking at your invention.

I WOULDN'T BE TONGUE SCRAPING IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU.

I wouldn't call it the funniest show in the history of television.

I wouldn't worry about it. He's a little nutty.

I, UH, THINK I JUST HAD MY FIRST PERIOD.

I... I don't know what the hell you're trying to say.

I... I will do my duty gladly.

I... I'm going out of town on Saturday.

I... I'm... I can't even believe it.

I... sorry.

I... this is a little awkward.

I'D BE HAPPY TO GET YOU A ROUND OF DRINKS.

I'd love to talk to you about this. Do you got a minute?

I'd love you to. She's in the valley off of brookhurst.

I'LL BE SLAMMING THE DOOR IN HER FACE. I HOPE THAT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU.

I'll be there tomorrow. Bye bye.

I'll be there.

I'll bet you there's a couple of decent ones near a prison.

I'll call him. He'll be there tomorrow.

I'll get in touch with you, okay?

I'll get that spinach salad with some soup.

I'll get the chopped salad with the avocado.

I'll get you a couple of tickets.

I'll go on the Internet, we'll do a little research,

I'll have some.

I'll have to ask you to please leave.

I'll hold your popcorn.

I'll just put these on his desk.

I'll just write you a check. I'll take care of it.

I'll love to join you, but I'm already committed

I'll meet you at that place on Wilshire and 24th.

I'll pick it up.

I'll pick it up.

I'll put the TV on. We'll start watching TV as if we're gonna watch TV.

I'LL TAKE WHAT'S LEFT. NO ARGUING,

I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, I'M NOT SIGNING ANY PAPERS UNTIL I GET A NEW LAWYER.

I'll tell you what I'll do for you.

I'll tell you what! If you you don't play in that golf tournament,

I'll... I'll be in touch.

I'm 15 minutes late already! See, this is why I need you to come in.

I'm a turtle vet." You know what I mean?

I'm actually going back tomorrow.

I'm always in with my boobs...

I'm an idea man who comes up with inventions.

I'M BORED! EVERYWHERE I GO WITH HER WE DON'T LOOK AT EACH OTHER,

I'm changing it, and now I'm saying thank you for helping me.

I'm completely smitten. She smiled.

I'm crossing my fingers for you.

I'm dead.

I'm Donna, by the way.

I'm feeling a little insecure about it.

I'M FEELING OKAY. SO, BERG,

I'm following her lead. She told me what I have to do.

I'M GIVING HER THE BEDDING. SEE?

I'm glad you came in. All you have to do

I'm going to find out right now.

I'm going to fuck the Jew out of you.

I'm going to get my breasts reduced.

I'm going to have all their favorite

I'M GOING TO RUN UP AND GET IT. YOU STAY RIGHT HERE. DON'T MOVE.

I'm going to throw myself and those breasts a farewell party

I'm going with the bison burger.

I'm gonna be annihilated by you in the love department?

I'M GONNA BE SINGLE!

I'm gonna check out Joe pepitone over here.

I'm gonna eat alone tomorrow.

I'm gonna get going. You got lunch?

I'm gonna get him into the prototype, get him his keys back.

I'm gonna get me a whole new class of bitches with these on.

I'm gonna go mingle.

I'M GONNA LEAVE IT IN YOUR HANDS. I TRUST YOU.

I'm gonna make placards and everything.

I'm gonna marry her if she'll have me.

I'm gonna meet Jeff for lunch.

I'm gonna use the bathroom before the movie.

I'm here to pick up some food to go. David.

I'M HERE TO SEE MR. O'DONNELL.

I'm here. Excuse me.

I'm hysterical. Don't you see that?

I'm in competition with Rosie O'Donnell.

I'M INTERESTED, I HAVE NO TICKET.

I'm just a human being who needs to be assured that if I'm gonna take a shower,

I'm just gonna return it.

I'm just gonna take a look at it.

I'm just kind of ready for bed, you know?

I'm just saying it's not a huge deal that I don't have it again.

I'm just so glad you were all here to share it.

I'm just thinking, wouldn't it be nice

I'm just... I'm actually trying to read something.

I'm just... I'm just curious, that's all.

I'm kind of attracted to the hopeless cases.

I'm kind of done. I think I need to call it a night.

I'm living under a mitzvah. You have none of that.

I'm looking for somebody. Why don't you send me his information?

I'm moving in next door. You can call me dog.

I'm not a fan of the Spanish.

I'm not criticizing. I don't think she wants to do it.

I'm not even gonna say anything this time.

I'm not even joking. It's fantastic.

I'm not gonna see your face for three months.

I'M NOT KIDDING. I GOT THIS. I GOT THIS.

I'm not leaving just yet. It would be great if you can get out of here.

I'm not saying that. Let's find out.

I'm not surprised. I ran into Vance and he told me.

I'M NOT TALKING TO JULIA. I SAID NO

I'm not your man.

I'm on a new regiment. I'm working out.

I'm out. You're popping these motherfuckers like candy.

I'm playing.

I'm pretty sure. He asked if you were available

I'm reading all this Mercury stuff. I'm scared to get Sushi.

I'm ready. I'm waiting.

I'm really clumsy. I trip all the time.

I'm really up for that bison burger.

I'm really... that pisses me off. 'Cause he's a cool guy

I'm saying he lied.

I'm scrunched in here. I want that seat

I'm seeing a few more.

I'm sitting here like an idiot for 20 minutes.

I'm so full. ( Chuckles )

I'm so stupid. I tried to back up with mirrors only.

I'm somewhat risk averse.

I'm sorry about the brownie thing the other night with Juliet.

I'M SORRY AND...

I'm sorry to tell you, but that was not apology.

I'M SORRY, GENTLEMEN. YOUR NAMES ARE NOT ON THE LIST.

I'm sorry, Larry, this is my neice Mimi.

I'm sorry, that's completely inappropriate.

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I don't know where Dr. Rivkin is.

I'm sorry. I still have the rash.

I'm sorry. I'm just not that good.

I'm sorry. Thank you.

I'm starving too. Why do we listen to her?

I'm still at the same email... ihatelarry.

I'M SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE BASEBALL GAME WITH HIM.

I'm supposed to play "Danny boy" on my flute at the graveside!

I'm sure it's gonna turn up.

I'm sure there's loads of things that go on that you've never heard of that aren't odd.

I'm sure you will too, at everyone else's expense.

I'm sure you've probably crossed paths with her.

I'm taking you to an inventor.

I'M TAKING YOUR BALLS AND I'M THUMBTACKING THEM TO THE WALL.

I'm telling you, we sent it out. You were on the list.

I'm the idiot who asked you

I'm the world's fastest prep as a director. You know that.

I'm there for you, regardless of what you have to do, because I love you.

I'm thinking like a ski that you screw in like a pool cue

I'm this close to signing him. This close.

I'm trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.

I'm trying to get to the chubby hubby.

I'm very curious to know why she would do that.

I'm very happy for you.

I'm very sorry.

I'm willing to admit I'm wrong.

I'm yelling for society, for everybody.

I'm your neighbor Margaret.

I've actually thought of that.

I've been hoping to sign him. I just... I love him.

I've been looking for you.

I've changed my diet. Makes a big difference.

I've done something a little interesting and different.

I've got a beautiful feeling, everything's going my way."

I've got a flush.

I've got to get this guy out of my house.

I've got two pair.

I've gotta be careful with this whole social assassination thing.

I've known like four decades of women that you've dated.

I've known you too long, all right?

I'VE NEVER USED ONE OF THESE AND I'M REALLY FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW.

I've really tried, but the truth is

If a black man with glasses goes up for a job against a white man,

If anyone quits, we're disqualified.

IF HE WAS DOING IT ON PURPOSE, I WOULD THINK HE WAS AN ASSHOLE.

If he were to hire a prostitute, let's say for an hour,

If he's cheating on Juliet, I can't be here to see it.

IF HER NOSE IS RUNNING AND SHE NEEDED A TISSUE,

If I came back here next week

IF I DID GO TO EUROPE WITHOUT HER, I'D COME BACK

If I don't eat something... I feel, like, faint.

If I hurt your feelings in any way

If I made you uncomfortable in any way at the market...

If I tell her to stop saying "I.O.L."

If rabin can break bread with arafat,

If Ron finds out about Eddie and ilene,

If some moron has a rat for a pet, he'll save that.

If somebody offered you a bottle of wine in a restaurant,

If that is so, then I am done.

If you don't sneak a peek at the penis, I'll... I'll...

If you need a machine, you're welcome to come

If you need a place in New York, it's on 66th and Broadway.

If you thought somebody was annoyed, but you didn't really know.

If you touch it it's yours.

If you're gonna have a dog, you have to have a bag.

If your wife was upset last night when you got home?

Ilene: And you care how I express myself?

Imagine how he'd be if he was married to susie.

IMAGINE LIKE A DUTCH APPLE PIE, RIGHT?

Imagine you had huge balls.

Imposing on your time? I recommended him to you.

Impossible. Ricky gervais is sitting in the booth behind you.

In a safe place, yes.

In fact, it was a $300 bottle. So the best in the house.

In fact, that day when we were in there,

In front of millions of people, but nevertheless

In Hawaii they move hands and hips.

In his repertoire of things that he liked

In humans, there's an e.N.T., there's a podiatrist.

In New York doing this off Broadway thing,

In other words, no matter what?

In situations like this, tie goes to the hetero.

In that situation.

In the golf tournament Saturday because I have to honor the sabbath.

In veterinary school, do you tend to focus more on the dog,

In Westwood, the palestinian one?

IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE, YOU'LL RUE THE DAY YOU EVER MET ME.

Indulge me for a second.

Inevitably I will break up with her.

INTERESTED DOESN'T MEAN TICKET.

Interesting theory.

Involving Mr. softee.

Is because of her ample bosom.

Is because she had a big fight with Ron, okay?

Is cover this with a little 100 sunblock and you'll be fine.

Is everything okay with your meal?

Is going to be on every single car in the world.

Is he in heaven, is he in hell?

Is he in heaven, is he in hell?

Is in the bin on a tissue.

Is it almost ready?

Is it possible that you have a little room for growth?

Is it possible you don't know the bow rules?

Is more comfortable than the coachy girl.

Is send their chicken over to Israel.

Is she's a new member of our safe house

Is struck down by an assassin's bullet.

Is that al abbas chicken?

Is that cool?

Is that so many of these women have a negative connotation

Is that what you're gonna do?

Is that why Jeff doesn't want to go to dinner with us? ( Deeply ) yes!

Is that why you haven't been practicing?

Is this 'cause I didn't say I'm sorry?

Is this about the 60... The 60 bucks that you lent me?

Is this about...

Is this the inspirational speaker that we're getting?

Is unable to play because it's the sabbath, yes, I'm koufaxing you.

IS WHAT SHE'S GETTING. SHE'S JUST GETTING THE APPEARANCE.

It comes up. Then a camera at the top

It costs me money.

It didn't even take me that long.

It doesn't blend well with the mixed nuts.

It doesn't matter and you haven't said a word.

It doesn't matter. It's a gift, that's how I look at it.

It is hard.

IT IS NO BIG DEAL.

It looks slightly affected.

It says you're a very superficial man.

IT SEEMS CRAZY IF I DON'T AT LEAST OFFER.

It sounds like you appreciate the art form.

It wants to go home.

It was a guy. Not important.

It was humiliating and people were insulting me.

It was merely an accident.

It was no tie, babe. She hit my base first

It was only open two nights. She likes Broadway, Larry.

It was very distressing.

It will be the briefest look at your penis, believe me.

It won't kill you. Go ahead.

IT'D BE A GOOD DESK TO GET BLOWJOBS UNDER.

It'll pale in comparison. How can you even have meals after this?

It's a big l. It's real clear, right?

It's a big opportunity for Sammi.

It's a car periscope.

IT'S A GOOD DEAL. IT'S READY TO BE SIGNED.

It's a great idea, but really who is this guy?

It's a marriage. The bag and the dog, they go together.

It's a personal thing. I got picked on a lot by some kids.

It's a shit bow.

It's a sort of double edged story

IT'S A TAMPON.

It's a tidbit festival.

It's a wonderful thing to say. I love when she says "I.O.L."

It's all in the doctor's statement.

It's all right.

It's all right. It's okay.

It's all right. Let it go.

It's all right. Listen, the thing is,

It's all right. Water under the bridge.

It's also a field day kind of stuff...

It's been about two years since you've been here.

It's been swell. Hope you had fun.

It's comical, but it's all with the love, you know?

IT'S COVERED WITH CARAMEL, ROLLED IN TOASTED COCONUT.

It's cute, right?

It's deeply disturbing, there's no question about it.

It's fine, 'cause actually i had Sushi last night, so...

It's funny 'cause, you know, something doesn't figure out of the whole thing.

It's funny, you know? I've never really been tested like that before.

It's funny. Usually women laugh at it.

It's going to take probably several weeks

It's gonna be great.

It's gonna be rough for all of us.

It's gonna be sometime... Hopefully within the month,

It's gonna be...

It's great to see you. And let me just say

It's hard to make decisions in the moment.

It's him! Hey!

IT'S HIS ISSUE. I'M JUST THE MESSENGER.

It's humiliating. All of my friends make fun of me in the morning

It's important I take a look at you.

It's insensitive. Why can't they open it a few blocks uptown?

It's just odd to just show up with your own DVD.

It's just that dogs don't really have control of when they go.

It's just you're mouthing...

It's like a great big hug all day long,

It's like jell o pudding inside of those motherfuckers.

It's like Laurel and Hardy. Donna was right.

It's like the last time you're going to see them,

It's like you with inventions:

It's locked up into the car. You push a button on the dashboard.

It's me, Bob, from the restaurant,

It's merely by way of illustration.

It's my only open time too.

It's my... I'll pay for the whole thing.

It's never stopped us from going to dinner.

It's no problem. You want to go to the bathroom. I'll hold your popcorn for you.

IT'S NOT A NEGATIVE THING TO RUN AN ASS IN THE GROUND. THAT'S ALL.

It's not an open field. It's not a farm, okay?

It's not every day that archduke Franz ferdinand

It's not like being with a guy. It's like being with a great guy

It's not like buying ice cream.

IT'S NOT ONLY THE BEST DEAL I'M GONNA GET FOR YOU,

It's not racism. It's dementia."

It's not ready? How come it's not ready?

It's not that bad of a movie. We saw it.

It's not that hard! Look, just pull in between the lines.

It's okay.

It's one man's fear of the outbreak of world war I.

It's really really painful.

It's routine and it is strictly necessary, all right?

It's sitting empty. He's gonna be in Malta for the next six months.

It's so great to see you here in New York. It's like a treat.

It's supposed to be confidential.

IT'S THE BEST DEAL THAT ANYBODY'S GONNA GET FOR ANYBODY.

It's the one armed man. I swear to god.

It's true, you do know nothing. There's nothing to know.

It's worse than it was before. I don't know what he did to it.

IT'S YOUNG LARRY WITH THE BIG 'FRO.

It's... shouldn't she be giving it back?

Jane cohn?

Jane.

Jeez, you have a really good attitude.

Jeez. Is there anything more pathetic

Jeff and I are in. We're in on the rally.

Jeff and susie are coming. So join the party.

Jeff, susie.

Jeff: A bit of a warning... tessler is coming tonight.

Jeff: Eddie and ilene? He's cheating on Juliet?

Jeff: Ever. What these people should do

Jeff: First of many

Jeff: Hey, that's antoinette's mother.

Jeff: Thank you very much for coming back.

Jeff: The waiter?

Jeff: Yeah, they do not like the ****.

Jeff. Funkhouser: Let's get to 18.

JERK!

Jesus fucking Christ. Asshole.

Jesus, I can't believe it.

Jesus, what the hell is going on over here?

Jesus, you've got some stuff on your face.

Jesus.

Jigaboos too.

JOE'S 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER KYRA IS GOING TO BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOORS POSSIBLY.

Judge horn, wow. That is something.

Judge horn.

Juice?

Juliet is great friends with susie.

Just 'cause I'm sitting up there you're making a generalization about me.

Just by taking one of those pills? I have skills.

Just I can pay you back when I see you at the restaurant.

Just like if you put the car in reverse... you know, you see that picture.

Just like... that's what George would do. Take your car.

Just on a plate with a fork?

Just say, "you know what? I'll do better next time."

Just this... you know, it's funny. You might know her.

Just... to be totally honest, Larry,

Keegan's club. I'll send you the literature.

Keep it going. Keep it going, guys. Come on.

Keep my father out of it, will you?

Keep the change.

Kids are gonna get to know her. It's all gonna work.

Know something? I've learned a valuable lesson today too.

Know why? I can't get in the goddamn building.

Koufax gave me some kishka one time.

L.o.l.

L.o.l., honey! L.O.L.! Fuck you! You know what? Fuck this whole thing!

Labe, son of nat.

Ladies know that shit. You're right.

Ladies, I'm just going to walk our guest to the door.

Lar. Lar.

Larry ate Oscar's pinkberry!

LARRY DAVID, MARTY FUNKHOUSER.

LARRY DAVID. I'M A FRIEND OF JOE O'DONNELL'S.

Larry David. Look at this.

Larry, 2:00 is my only open time.

Larry, as your business manager,

Larry, don't worry about it. Hey.

Larry, drive me! Just give me a fucking ride, okay?

Larry, favor. Jeff's birthday is coming up.

Larry, I don't want a fucking limousine! Just open the fucking door.

Larry, I think you might remember our friend saundra.

Larry, I'm not gonna listen to this anymore, all right?

Larry, I'm yours whenever you want.

Larry, it's so clear that I misjudged you.

Larry, Larry, I'm having a party.

Larry, maybe I can help you understand this way.

Larry, nice to meet you. I'm just coming by

Larry, no! You never give up a cabinet.

Larry, thank you again for coming by.

Larry, there's no one armed man.

Larry, there's something I want to talk to you about.

Larry, we had three seats, they were the house seats

Larry, what the hell were you doing?

Larry, what's the problem?

Larry, you've got something on your forehead.

Larry: "we seek him here, we seek him there",

Larry: anyway, I heard about what happened.

Larry: Come back! Where you going?!

Larry: Eddie and ilene just walked in.

Larry: I GOT THE SHARPEST ******* DIVORCE LAWYER IN TOWN.

Larry: I hope it turns out better than the golf championship.

Larry: I know. I'm so happy.

Larry: I learned a very valuable lesson today.

Larry: I like her, but she's got a kid so what's gonna come of it?

Larry: I should've gotten some yogurt there.

Larry: Is anybody worried about dirt on their food here?

Larry: It's not the money. I did order it.

Larry: Karen!

Larry: See you, Vance.

Larry: She's getting half of it taken off.

Larry: SHIT, I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING.

Larry: SO I'M AT A LIGHT ON BUNDY AND SAN VINCENTE,

Larry: So she said she changed her mind.

Larry: So then he tells me the only reason

Larry: We're probably the only **** ever walked in here.

Larry: What is the deal with these shoelaces now?

Larry: Where were you? I waited half an hour.

Larry! Come! Join us over here!

Larry! What happened? Where'd you go?

Larry?

Larry.

Larry... no, he's not having an affair.

Larry... Larry David.

Last night at that dinner party, you... you really impressed me.

Last night it was okay to sit next to him.

Learning problems. It's kind of like a workshop.

Left it with me. Good good.

Leon: Larry! ( Laughs )

Leon: YOU RAN THAT SHIT IN THE GROUD LIKE A RENT A CAR.

Lesbians have kind of an advantage in a way.

Let her have it! It's none of your goddamn business! ( All shouting )

Let it go. This is pushing buttons, and that's all right.

Let loose. He's not here. Have a good time.

Let me go down here and give it a shot, man.

Let me go in and give it a shot with the glasses on.

Let me have a taste.

Let me have... Give it here for a second.

Let me just say this, okay? On behalf of all caucasians,

Let me know what you decide.

Let me tell you something, man. I would not be a fucking friend

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, WE GET A DIVORCE,

Let me tell you something. The penis doesn't care

Let me tell you something. This motherfucking car has got some heart, man.

Let's do it. That's all I've ever heard is how great it is.

Let's get some chicken.

Let's go to gjelina.

Let's go, Larry.

Let's play some scrabble.

Let's say, than... than the cow?

Like a married relationship? We do have that kind...

Like a plate with... Peanut butter and jelly

Like for golf, when I have a bad round,

Like Galileo jerking off from 40' away.

Like they've never seen in their lives.

Like you're doing something else so you fool the woman.

LISTEN TO ME. TAKE THE INSIDE WHERE THE STRING IS

Listen, a bow is a bow, right?

Listen, as long as you're here,

Listen, I have a problem upstairs. We're doing a kaddish

Listen, I have an audition now, so if you don't mind.

Listen, I'm glad I ran into you.

Listen, I'm sorry to do this, but I gotta cancel today's 2:00.

Listen, I'm spotting somebody right now at the gym.

Listen, listen. You said a deal, right?

Listen, you owe Ricky gervais $500 for the scarf, right?

Listen, you were great. Forget about them. You were great.

Literally a couple more balls

Little insulting to you.

Lives on.

Look at him. It's insulting.

Look at that! Look at the size of those bites you took!

Look at these posters, huh?

Look at this, two angelinos here in New York.

Look at this. Look at the size of these laces.

Look at this. Takes up two spaces,

Look at this... Standstill traffic.

Look at you there, two idiots.

Look forward to it. Okay.

Look, big dog does not give up cabinets.

Look, I want to talk to you about something else.

Look, I'm flattered, kid,

LOOK, IT CAME OUT OF THE PLASTIC. I'M HOLDING IT!

LOOK, IT PUSHES IT OUT.

Look, it's my popcorn. It's not necessary.

Look, it's not for performance.

Look, you brought the fish into it. I'm saying no.

Look, you hurt the man. You hurt the man.

Look, you took advantage of my father, okay?

Look.

Looks like it all fit in there.

Looks like quite a fire.

Looks like they're planning the next intifada

Lugubrious?

Lunch time. You know something? 1:00.

Lunch. ...And here we are. Oh, lunch time.

Make such a big fucking deal.

Man cannot compete with machinery.

Man: Good job.

Man: I first met Jimmy in 1968.

Man: I think we're the team to beat. I really do.

Man: I told you...

Man: LARRY, I KNOW DIVORCE IS PAINFUL, BUT THIS IS A FANTASTIC DEAL.

Margaret: That would be fine. Sure. Why not?

Martin, shara.

Marty: Don't you love this place?

Marty: We ought to do this more often.

Marty: You're not going to believe this.

May I talk to you outside for a second?

Maybe a lot more.

Maybe I could drum up a date over there, huh?

Maybe I could fill in for her.

Maybe I'll take you ice skating sometime.

Maybe if she just said, "dad, I've got to get back to work."

Maybe next year or the next time we have an event,

Maybe this is

Me and you couldn't take that bitch.

Me personally... I think it's a billion dollar idea.

Me Tarzan, not you.

Meanwhile I'm standing the fuck out here counting my motherfucking nuts.

Michael Jordan had a Hitler mustache.

Middle of the day nap... all the kids. It's beautiful. A beautiful thing.

Might take for her?

Miriam told susie that...

Miss.

Miss.

Mm hmm. You're actually gonna use

Mmm, I've never had chicken like this.

Mmm, no. He saves pets.

Mmm!

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. Why do you have to criticize my kid, Larry?

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. This morning.

Mmmm, I don't know, maybe...

Mom, it's Larry. Hi, Larry.

Mommy rabbi says don't play, little boy!

Mookie Wilson ball. How about that?

Mookie Wilson is gonna be there.

More than you do apparently.

More?

Most post season homeruns? Come on, Jane.

Mr. bill Buckner.

Mr. black, really a pleasure to meet you.

Mr. chow's... out. The palm... out.

MR. O'DONNELL SAY YOU DID BAD THING TO MISS KYRA.

Mugger: Give me your money.

Must be hard to do all that fake crying.

MY ATTORNEY. THIS IS LARRY DAVID.

My blood sugar is just going down to my feet.

My bow is a shit bow?

My cousin, all his friends say this guy is brilliant.

My dad goes to the park every day to play scrabble.

My dad just died.

My dinner party, you play by my rules.

My father was a huge huge fan of yours.

My father would call this crap.

My hotel is just right down the street and I was going for a little walk.

My kitchen, telling me how I'm supposed to respond to your jokes?

My marriage is fine. It has nothing to do with you.

My marriage is my business.

My mom... the last thing he said was

My name is shara

My new friend some lunch. You know something?

My next round is fantastic because I don't care anymore.

My point is that people need various things to help them function.

My relationship with you is over,

My relationship with you is over,

My whole life would have been different.

Never ever give up a cabinet.

Never mind that. Just me the $500.

Never seen a black blush in my fuckin' life.

New York City, baby. I'm here!

Next time we see you come in we make sure bag secure.

Next to the sacred land of that deli?

Nice catch. ( Laughs )

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

No doubt about it, funny show. But the history of television?

NO FUCKING WAY. I'M TAKING YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE, MISTER.

No man would ever change his mind, I'll tell you that.

No no no no no no no.

No no no no no. Look, we can just talk to Mr. David.

No no no, I hold on to it. I actually... I munch and pee.

No no no.

NO NO NO.

No no no. No, I know it looks like a chat...

No no, I'll just take it into the bathroom. It's fine.

No no, I'm here because L.A. was haunted.

No no, just go... Put the tissue in my hand.

No no! Hey! Hey!

No no.

No no. If I drive by your house, I'm not gonna see you out there.

No one you know is ever gonna see you here.

No one's gonna go hungry again.

No problem.

No substitute!

No way I'm waiting 45 minutes for any doctor, let alone you or any...

No wine?

No wonder why she didn't come upstairs.

No wonder why you don't like being told what to do.

No you focus on everything. You know...

No, don't worry about Wanda, Terry.

NO, EVERYBODY DOES. YEAH, IT'S DELICIOUS.

No, he said a bow is not a bow.

No, he was not sorry at all.

No, hi, mom.

No, honestly, that's the worst I've ever been.

No, I am going to speak to the captain.

No, I can't. I'm going to the doctor's.

No, I didn't get it back. Why am I asking you?

No, I don't like baseball.

No, I don't want water.

No, i i... I don't think so.

No, I love Sushi.

No, I need bow sorry or I'm not forgiving you.

No, I was the straw that broke the camel's back.

No, I'm not always in love.

No, I'm saying if it means something to you, you can cry.

No, I've just gotta get back. I told ilene I'd be back

No, it was about as twice as big as mine.

NO, IT'S COLD. RIGHT NOW IT'S COLD AND FOGGY AND DANGEROUS.

No, it's gross. It's full of my snot.

No, Larry. Come to this side and I'm yours.

No, let's go. He never said we couldn't.

NO, NOT THE SAME THING. IT'S INAPPROPRIATE.

No, now you've gotten two and I've gotten one.

No, of course not!

No, only that, you know, he's a great inventor and...

No, seriously. Are you kidding?

No, she doesn't. Nobody runs the show.

No, thank you.

No, that's next week.

No, the food here is incredible.

No, there are no inventions in your world.

No, there's a little bit of a problem there.

No, there's gonna be an antenna with a camera attached

No, they take tests and I...

NO, TWO'S PLENTY. THAT'S ALL I WANT.

No, what did he say?

No, you bought me a bottle of wine and I got you into the theater.

No, you weren't there when I got the envelopes.

No, you're a foot over the line.

No, you're only saying you learned a lesson because I said I learned a lesson.

No, you're only saying you learned a lesson because I said I learned a lesson.

No, you're saying "I.O.L." You're verbal texting.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. No, you just said Donna was right.

No. You're shoving it in their faces.

No. A one armed man? No.

No. duckstein,

No. I fell.

No. No, she's not, Larry.

No. No.

No. Not... not really.

Nobody else looked trustworthy. And I thought you took it!

Nobody. So go ahead and squeal

None of them ever ever talks about your performance.

None of your fucking business.

Nope.

Not at all. Not at all. Hey, I got a good joke.

Not everybody gets into the Julliard summer program.

Not everyone is in show business, Larry.

Not that I'm comparing myself to Sully.

Not that much goes on there.

Not too good. As soon as I told her, she knew Ron had put me up to it,

Nothing. Talking to my friend.

Now all of a sudden you're Mr. power hitter?

NOW CAN YOU PROVE PRIOR INTENT?

Now in that particular situation,

Now one of the things that he needed to complete his work...

Now the other night a Japanese fellow apologized to me.

Now! Come on! Give me that!

O'DONNELL'S GOT THE SWEDE. I SHOULD REALLY TELL HIM ABOUT BERG.

Obviously she's bi sexual.

Obviously she's grieving deeply for her father.

Obviously she's grieving deeply for her father.

Obviously?

Obviously. I mean, that's why we...

Of course I am. I don't want you to get hurt, Larry.

Of course I've heard. It's in the morning paper.

Of course not. 'Cause you're not just gonna interrupt your shot

Of course yours happened in the world series

Of course. This periscope

Of god knows how many lunches. Because this is the beginning.

Of not being an asshole? 'Cause you're way over that line.

Of what it's like to invest with me.

Of your own goddamn business, huh?

Of your social security card number is 4938.

OH YES, I DID.

Oh boy, am I so glad

Oh god, he just got that car.

Oh god.

Oh god. I don't want to do this.

Oh goodness. But that was fun.

Oh hey.

Oh hey. Larry.

Oh jeez.

Oh man, you've got to get out more.

Oh my god, is this a parking space?

Oh my god, so I asked you to watch this computer for two minutes.

Oh my god, that's awful.

OH MY GOD, YOU SHOULD GO. IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR.

OH MY GOD! HE'S MEETING WITH CHERYL'S LAWYERS RIGHT NOW!

Oh my god! I can't believe it!

Oh my god! Yarmulke alert!

Oh my god.

Oh my god. He's got more pubes on his fucking head.

Oh my god. How do you put up with that?

Oh my god. Oh my god, I can't believe this.

Oh my god. What happened to you?

Oh my goodness, that's wonderful.

Oh my..

Oh my... oh.

OH NO NO NO NO NO.

Oh no, I think something's gonna happen. You know how lesbians are.

Oh no, I think something's gonna happen. You know how lesbians are.

Oh no, I'll stop. Please don't hurt me. Don't hurt me.

Oh no? Just look around you.

Oh oh my.

OH OKAY.

Oh please. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh shit. I forgot to put sunblock on.

Oh shit. Oh, we made a huge mistake.

OH WAIT, HOLD HOLD ON, OKAY.

Oh well, I was just really trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.

Oh yeah, I heard about that play. What's it called?

Oh yeah, that was kind of an awkward thing there.

Oh yeah. ( Laughs )

Oh yeah. Well, not now.

Oh, 'cause you're in first class so you get to do whatever you want to do.

Oh, a smiley face. See, I hate that.

Oh, about time. God damn, Larry.

Oh, absolutely. I encourage it.

Oh, and you're right about the bread, simmington.

Oh, are you all right, sweetheart?

Oh, by the way,

Oh, chaplin was a great pole dancer.

Oh, did you guys hear about this?

Oh, don't. It's very expensive.

Oh, for god's sake.

Oh, ha ha! See, I get a fucking tingle in my Johnson

Oh, here you go.

OH, HOW ABOUT ON MY BIRTHDAY? "MAZEL TOV, LARRY."

OH, I LOVE YOU! HOW IS THAT LAWYER?

OH, I MEANT TO TELL YOU THIS IS INTERESTING

Oh, I noticed that when you apologized to this man

Oh, I see. So let me get this straight.

Oh, I'm ira's wife.

Oh, I'm out of pills, man. I don't have no pills.

Oh, I'm two minutes away. Wait there. I'll join you.

Oh, I've got an idea.

Oh, it's fantastic. She loves baseball.

Oh, it's okay to mouth. It's okay to mouth.

Oh, it's okay.

Oh, it's right over there. Should be ready in a second.

Oh, listen, one other thing. Richard Lewis, he's a friend of yours, is he not?

Oh, look at this. They didn't secure the soup.

Oh, man, you know, your cheek just touched mine on that hug.

OH, MR. O'DONNELL NO LONGER OWNS THE TEAM.

Oh, now Larry, let's remember boundaries.

OH, OKAY, ALL RIGHT. THERE'S INSTRUCTIONS HERE.

Oh, okay, I've just got to get mookie's autograph.

OH, OKAY!

Oh, please.

Oh, poor poor sweet, innocent dad.

Oh, right. Okay. I can't even see what you're eating.

OH, SEE THAT?

OH, THANK U BERRY MUNCH, OOOOH.

Oh, thank you, yes. It was absolutely wonderful.

Oh, thanks a lot.

Oh, that is unfortunate.

Oh, that was my girlfriend.

Oh, that's great.

Oh, that's kind of you to offer, but I'd rather not.

Oh, that's my wife Amanda.

Oh, that's too bad. Where you going?

Oh, the bow. Oh my gosh.

OH, THE FUN WE'RE HAVING.

Oh, then you should be a professor at Ohio state and teach this.

Oh, they're not from Spain?

Oh, uh... nothing.

Oh, um, by the way,

Oh, um...

Oh, um...

Oh, we're never gonna get to the party.

Oh, we're probably gonna be sharing the kitchen?

Oh, well, god, you know, if I wasn't gonna give you my number before,

OH, WELL, THEY DON'T. I MEAN, WHY WOULD THEY?

Oh, yeah. Sorry. Sorry to disturb you.

Oh, you can't? Really? Watch this.

Oh, you decide to show up after all.

Oh, you know doctors. They don't tell you anything.

Oh, you must be Mr. Greene.

Oh, you'll love it, believe me.

Oh, you're married to the actress, right?

Oh, you're the hosts? You fixed this whole thing, okay?

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Sirens! Yarmulke on the floor! Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. He's not gonna like it.

Oh. Hello.

Oh. maybe that's why I was throwing up a minute ago.

Oh. Okay, fine. But I'll see you tomorrow at 2:00.

Oh. poor thing.

Oh. So was this guy black or white?

Oh. Sorry.

Oh. Well, hello.

Oh. Yeah. Fantastic.

OK KAY

OKAY OKAY.

Okay, all right. How's your shoulder? You seem like you're more...

Okay, boys, you obviously don't understand.

Okay, can I tell you something?

OKAY, DON'T WORRY. YOU HAD IT IN THE RIGHT PLACE.

Okay, fine.

OKAY, GOT IT.

Okay, here we go. Two outs.

Okay, how about I give that to you?

Okay, I don't... I don't know what you're talking about.

Okay, I will.

Okay, I'll tell you what... Forget the insurance.

Okay, I'm gonna get some coffee. Does anybody... do you want anything?

Okay, I'm gonna just unpack that stuff.

Okay, judge.

Okay, listen, sorry. I didn't mean to start an argument or anything.

Okay, now you've heard of it. Tsk.

Okay, so I say sorry,

Okay, so if you're going tomorrow,

OKAY, SO THAT'S NO PROBLEM.

Okay, thank you very much.

OKAY, THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

OKAY, THAT DOESN'T WORK. I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD DO THAT.

Okay, that's just not gonna work.

Okay, that's not a word, all right?

OKAY, THIS DISCUSSION IS OVER.

Okay, this is the dog.

Okay, we're here.

Okay, well... That's all right, Larry.

Okay, when is the last time you jacked off?

OKAY, YEAH. UM, WELL, YOU COULD JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THAT.

Okay, you gonna come with us?

Okay, you know what, Larry?

OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? WE GOT A HALF HOUR TO GET OUT OF HERE.

Okay, you want to be a dick...

Okay, you're an idea man.

Okay? And tonight it's like a free for all, is that it?

Okay? Peace, brother.

Okay? you at bat.

Okay? you've got to realize that though.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. How did you see a small mole from where you were sitting?

Okay. Yeah, 'cause I put a lot of time into this.

Okay. You're wearing gloves? It's the middle of summer.

Okay. Funkhouser: Inside left, l.D.

OKAY. I'VE GOT SOME GREAT NEWS.

Okay. Thank you, gentlemen.

OKAY. THAT'S... YEAH.

Okay. Where has he been? Have you seen him?

On a two part ski that would come together like a pool cue.

On taking that dish home with me.

ON THE HIGH HOLY DAYS, I SAID, "HEY, YOU GOING TO TEMPLE, BERG?"

On the positive part of what you had to say.

On the same team and then we won't win the tournament.

On the underside of your right breast

On the way, we'll pick up a new cock for you, okay?

Once I went to the seventh game of a world series

One bite but make it small.

One each more, okay? Thank you.

One more hole!

One more. Last one, okay? We'll have one more.

ONLY BECAUSE I TOLD YOU BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHO I AM.

Only you and I know you weren't an intentional hero.

Oooh!

Or especially hear the music, that music

OR THE MEZUZAH THAT'S ON THE DOOR.

Or what he's about to invent or what's going on.

Or you hit the deck.

Oscar's really sick, so susie felt like it'd be nice to invite him.

Our friendship is about that much now.

Out here it's titties.

Out of these two cabinets and put it into this one.

Outfield in. Play to first.

Outside the room.

Parks over the line. What kind of idiot...

Passage or penalty?

Peace

People are confused when they shake hands... lefty, righty.

PEOPLE GIVE ME GIFTS. THEY'LL GIVE ME LIKE THAT FOR MY DESK

People hate balls. Balls are reviled.

People like a mixed nut. Although when I opened up the mixed nuts

People should know that you did this.

People's legs would snap like that.

Period.

Personal... It's a personal thing?

Pfft, happened to be black.

Pfft, you know what, stu?

Physical problems, mental problems,

Pigs, things of that nature?

Pinkberry?

Pinkberry.

Pizza. Who has pizza at sitting... a Shiva?

Playing scrabble with a racist judge?

Please do the event, 'cause it just got moved up to Friday.

Please help me! My baby!

Please please, don't insult me, okay?

Please, somebody help me!

Pleasure. Thank you. Have a good meal.

Plenty of times, but I didn't.

Poor baby.

Positive. She'll be picking up a plate any second.

Probably more likely six to eight weeks. Yeah.

Probably tonight, so we should know everything within the next day or so.

Probably women who are more your speed. More your level.

Pull over, Mr. David, please. I'd like to speak with you.

Put some clothes on, you four eyed fuck.

PUT THE OUTER TUBE IN YOUR VAGINA.

Put your feet in the stirrups and spread your legs wide."

Quite frankly I'm a little offended

Quote unquote, Raleigh's clothing

Rabbi Stein said that I can't play

Rabinowitz: NICE MEETING YOU.

Really good. 99 times out of 100,

Really? Why don't you want me to hold the popcorn?

Really? Who said that?

Reduce them by half.

REGARDING THE COOKIES, THERE'S BEEN A CHANGE OF PLANS.

Remember that time you gave me the atm card

Remember these?

Richard is dating a burlesque dancer.

Richard: I can't ta... I've gotta get out.

Ricky: That's true.

Ricky: The evening was all charming the last time.

Ricky: Yes? Yes?

RIDE AROUND AND BUMP THE HORN AND SHIT LIKE MOTHERFUCKERS GETTING MARRIED.

Right down there!

Right next door to goldblatt's deli.

Right now Oscar is! He's gonna die any minute now, okay?

Right on the spot.

Right there in the water, that was inspiring to people.

Right, I understand.

RIGHT, IT'S 'FRO LARRY. 'FRO

RIGHT, LIKE, "I'M A JEW, BUT NOT A PRACTICING JEW."

Right! As a matter of fact, antoinette called me recently

Right? Yeah, I see people struggle with it every day.

Right. It's supposed to be toasted, okay?

Ron: I got an estimate on the car.

Roscoe, come.

Sa... oh, you know what?

Saturday night?

Saundra: One statement.

Saw it three times. She saw "Carrie."

Secure the bags

See how it works? Ooh!

See the baby seat back there? Hell yeah.

See you around.

See, that's funny. Meanwhile, he's trying to communicate it.

See, the owner, he just walked out. He'll be right back.

See, you've got to be careful with these waiters.

Sends a live image to a screen, onto the dashboard,

Seriously, how much would it take for you to see, "eat pray love?"

Shall I lose Robert?

Shall we do this again on Friday?

Shalom. You know, I thought all last night,

Shara, Martin.

She almost took my head off, but I don't like those teachers.

She also gives to charity and she has a great personality.

SHE BLAMED ME THE WHOLE TIME, BUT IT WAS YOU.

She blew off the Tonys with Rosie.

She could have cried a foot or two over.

She did not seem the type to me.

She didn't see my apartment.

She doesn't care about you!

She doesn't clean it up. She doesn't bring a bag.

She enjoyed "chess" the musical.

She found out on the phone in my office, yeah.

She is cheating on you with this fucking chair.

She is communicating right now. You understand?

She is... she is the best.

She just texted me. We're going to the Tonys

She knows all the words to "cats," okay?

She likes Broadway! ( Laughs )

She likes you, which is a shocking thing to me.

She makes this really obnoxious sound.

She might be... all right, all right! Get in the car.

She must have made up a story or something to get in there.

She owed me $60 and wouldn't pay me,

SHE SAID OKAY.

She said, "no matter what," okay?

She seems lovely.

She smacks her lips together and does this little

She smacks her lips together and does this little

She started screaming at him and I just... I left.

SHE TALKS OVER ME. I WANT TO BE ALONE.

She texted you, how adorable.

She thinks I'm a hero.

She took off her socks and shoes.

She was a hideous hideous looking person.

She was getting her rocks off in this damn chair.

She was so cold. She's lost all respect for me.

She was the belle of Brighton.

She was too busy moaning to laugh.

She'll kill me. Are you kidding?

She'll notice the drop off. How am I gonna do that?

She's a dyke. Deal with it.

She's also part of the sorority over there?

She's amazing! I'd love to fire antoinette and hire her permanently.

She's an adult when she turns 13 or learns to make her first latkes.

She's an adult? If she's an adult, why can't she hear a dirty joke?

She's an adult. She can come to an adult dinner party.

She's beautiful.

SHE'S COMING. BE PREPARED.

SHE'S GETTING THE FILLING AND YOU'RE GETTING THE RAZZLE DAZZLE THAT IS

She's going home, Larry!

She's going to the Tonys? What the hell am I gonna do?

She's gonna get over her anti semitism,

She's like the capo here, huh?

She's like... she's like susie's twin sister.

She's married.

She's paying me a little bit more.

She's very connected

Shh. Watch the play.

Shit.

Shit.

Show me the promised land, huh?

Shrink it. Put the hands together.

Shut the fuck up.

Sir, could you please give us a moment?

Sir, you match the description of somebody who's been reported

Sir! Excuse me. Now I've tried to be nice.

Sit in the back seat. I'll give you a limo ride.

Sitting around this plush motherfucker

Six weeks on our end, approximately.

Small small small.

So a one armed man

So big dog productions rented the office next door and they're sharing the kitchen with us.

So buy a bunch of one thing

So did you drink enough to want to come back to my apartment?

SO DID YOU KNOW BERG WAS A SWEDE?

So he should be anywhere up here.

So he wants me to give the $500 to him directly.

SO HIS WIFE OWNS IT NOW.

So how long you gonna be around for?

So how's things with Jane?

So how's your marriage?

So I couldn't exactly hang up to say I want to go to a salad bar.

So I don't know if you noticed this last night,

So I get the car back from yari,

So I get you another order

So I guess you won't be playing golf on Saturday.

So I have to project everything. It's not like TV.

So I just thought I would let you know about it.

So I just thought I'd drift on in and say hey.

SO I SAID TO NAN, "LOOK, LET'S GET A DIVORCE."

So I saw this commercial last night.

SO I THOUGHT I WOULD DIVE IN. I AM HIRIAM KATZ,

So I told Henry and he says, "no no, he's got dementia.

So I very sorry. So I apologize to him, yes.

So I would be representing men

So I... I brought it up.

So I'm out of that.

SO IN THE ABSENCE OF THAT, I'M AFRAID THERE'S REALLY NOTHING YOU CAN DO

So it would be so great

So it's all... and then I keep this going until you've turned around.

So it's easy to carry.

So just to make sure that I understand things thoroughly,

So listen, why don't we get together at my place tomorrow night...

So my suggestion is why don't you just give me the $500

So she gave... she gave her phone number

So she reached out as a friend.

So shove that up your ass.

So sorry!

So sorry.

So sorry. No, I was at the dermatologist.

So sorry. Ricky, can I please pay you for that?

So that's... that's basically it.

So the carp would sort of jump and nip at them.

So the two of you got together because of this argument?

So this person struck you?

SO UNFORTUNATELY WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CHARGE YOU FOR AN ADDITIONAL BUFFET.

So we became the waiters.

So we're going to go out there,

SO WE'RE TROOP 205 AND WE'RE HERE TO COLLECT

So what, he's pitching us his inventions?

So what? He's not gonna marry her. He's just having fun.

So what's it gonna be?

So what's the name of this play?

So why don't you sit down and take my place? I appreciate it, Larry.

SO WHY WOULD I GO TO TEMPLE?

So why... if we're in one city all the time

So you don't have to carry these big giant skis around.

SO YOU HAD A BIG 'FRO ON A MOTOR SCOOTER?

SO YOU HAVE 24 HOURS TO VACATE THE PREMISES.

So you think that all black people look alike?

So you'd be calling the guy who caused you to... okay.

So you're gonna have to get someone else.

So you're not really missing her for that three and a half hours.

So, Dale, if you don't mind my saying,

So, doctor, what's the process?

So, Larry, how was your night?

So, um...

So, you know, could be an advantage

So, you know, what are you doing?

So... he was such a good dog, you know?

So... ooh, god.

Some lady walking her dog found him on the ground choking.

Some palestinian chicken place opening up next to a deli.

Some people believe in our daughter, believe it or not.

Some people call them battered women.

Some people might think that you may have taken a little advantage.

Somebody had to help her.

Someone has to tell her to stop and it has to be you,

Someone who's really desperate to have a date,

Something just does not add up.

Sometimes I wish I had one arm when I'm cuddling in bed with a woman,

Sometimes you don't know what the fuck I'm saying.

SORRY TO SAY,

Sorry you can't make it this time.

Sorry, we're from a battered women's shelter.

Sorry, we're sold out

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. Hey, Larry, what about the kishka?

Sorry. I was... I was late for this lunch with Richard Lewis

Sorry. Sorry about that.

Sorry... sorry it didn't work out.

Spare yourself the expense and embarrassment.

Spend the whole day with kids with all kinds of problems...

Spiritual advisor? Is that what you just said?

Star power at my dinner party, huh?

Star power.

Starving. Good, we've got a great meal

Stay in the right Lane.

STAY RIGHT THERE. I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.

Steinbrenner always say...

Steinbrenner owned a major league baseball team.

Stella is going through with the breast reduction on Friday.

Sticking out of the corner of my briefcase.

Still, it's a question of character.

Supplement.

Sure yeah, thank you.

Sure! Yeah.

Sure.

Sure. So yesterday she took $60 from me.

Susie: All right. Let's go take care of this now.

Susie: He was just beloved by the whole neighborhood.

Susie: I don't think you got a good look, Larry.

Susie: I know. It was yummy, wasn't it?

Susie: Okay, everybody, dinner is served.

Susie: The whole neighborhood loved him, didn't they, Jeff?

Susie: Vow of silence.

Susie: We're just here for the summe. We're subletting.

Susie: Who is this fucking whore you're with? ( Slaps )

Susie: You two are a couple of schmucks,

Susie! Does he think he can get away with this shit with me?

Take 'em... take 'em off!

Take care of yourself.

TAKE THE

TAKE THE OUTER TUBE, TAKE YOUR THUMB AND MIDDLE FINGER...

Take the popcorn. Here, take it.

Take your fucking car.

Take your fucking rabbit food

Taking advantage of my father at scrabble?

Talk about destiny. I feel it, I know you feel it.

Taxi!

Taxi!

Taxi!

TECHNICALLY. CORRECT, OKAY?

Terribly sorry. Are you bill Buckner?

Terribly sorry. So sorry.

TH TH TH THANK U BERRY MUNCH.

Than a cowering, emasculated Jew who has to run home to his wife?

Than on the plane, I guarantee.

Thank god you were on the plane. That's all I have to say.

Thank you for allowing him to play in it.

Thank you so much.

Thank you very much. This has been very helpful to me.

Thank you, Dale.

Thank you, sweetie. I'm just going to the loo, okay?

Thank you, yes. Very good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. And I've given you the gift of art.

Thank you. Bye.

Thank you. Don't worry about it.

Thank you. Sir, that man was abusive and he was drunk.

Thank you. To our first dinner party.

THAT A FRIEND OF HERS

That cost us the championship in a softball game.

That could give them a male perspective

That darn washing machine. I'll tell you, we...

That doesn't mean you're an inventor.

That fish, to be honest, don't look so good.

That goes in a continuous loop...

That guy owes me one.

THAT GUY'S GOT A SCAM GOING.

That he didn't have a clue that it was us

That he would choose pinkberry as a last meal.

That high... heard what? What are you talking about?

That his daughter's job was in jeopardy,

That I didn't even bother to r.S.V.P.

That I haven't heard about what happened on the plane, Larry.

That I probably would have given you at some point anyway.

That I really didn't want to go the play in the first place.

That I'm the housemother for.

That is a boldfaced lie.

That is it. I'm going to speak to the captain.

THAT IS MY ALMA MATER, YES.

That is not apology to you.

That is right. "Things aren't so great right now..."

That is some shiner you got there.

That is what we call in my business a benign keratosis.

That Jeff's having an affair.

That jerk.

That just did it. That's an impressive skill.

THAT KYRA SAID YOU WERE INTERESTED IN BUYING.

That Larry acknowledged your feelings and apologized.

That looked good.

THAT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD ACTUALLY.

THAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.

THAT MAN AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT THE LONDON TRIP...

That racism is in there somewhere. It's like a drunk...

That she doesn't have?

That sometimes when people suffer with what I might call

That tells you everything you need to know.

That there's a small mole

That they could feel good about hearing.

That they're having this affair

That too, I suppose.

That was a gift... The gift of wine.

That was amazing.

That was fine, right? You separate the couples

That was him.

That was my favorite show. I used to race home to watch that.

That was unbelievable.

That was very similar to what you went through.

That was, like... that was... at most that was nine out of 10.

That we're gonna be working like this together,

That what you did is actually dismissive.

That when you put on this uniform

That you might want to get checked out.

THAT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO LEFT THE STAIN ON THE ANTIQUE TABLE.

That you would consider me for such a delicate assignment,

That you'd like to tell me about this accident?

That your anger is your problem

That's a penalty.

That's a racial epithet. That's not a word.

That's a remarkably idiotic thing that you just said.

That's a turn on.

That's all you have to say when I tell you my father died?

That's anarchy. We need some rules

That's big of you.

THAT'S DECIDED. I'M IN.

That's despicable to say that to me. Of course not.

That's disgusting.

That's enough. Come on. No.

That's exactly how Larry fell into the guy on the plane.

THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY VALUABLE TO YOU.

That's gonna work. Unfortunately,

That's how it works. And you just...

That's interesting. I never made the Sully connection before.

That's it? You come for two minutes?

That's it. Yeah, get the hell out of here.

That's like saying "happy new year" in October.

That's my cab, buddy.

That's my kitchen too! I've got a cabinet in there!

That's my ticket. I had the aisle ticket.

That's never gonna happen. I have too many important things to say.

THAT'S NO PROBLEM AT ALL. YOU KNOW WHY? IN FACT,

That's not fair. We have the same number of people.

That's not gonna work. I can't do it.

THAT'S NOT WHY I BOUGHT IT, BUT LET'S CALL IT A HAPPY ACCIDENT.

That's not why I got up and left.

That's okay. By the way, I actually did see your show last night.

That's okay. I'm good for it.

That's one of the reasons we're together. I think it's cool, it's funny.

That's pretty pretty pretty good.

THAT'S SOME COOL SHIT. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

That's something you got to handle, man. You know?

That's what I want. See ya, duckstein.

That's what I'm saying. I can't compete with a lesbian like that.

That's what ladies on this planet do is catch balls.

That's what that is. It's me... that's laughing.

That's what you get on a consistent basis with me.

That's where you're wrong. I'm just sharing.

That's why you say "no matter what." This is the what.

That's your wife?

That's your wife?

That's... that's really funny.

The building's on fire, Larry. Please, come on. Hurry up.

The dog days are over. From now on, you're dino!

The dried pineapple is destroying mixed nuts.

THE FILLING, THE REAL MEAT OF THE PIE, IS EVERYTHING YOU'RE GETTING.

The front seat is really rattling. It's terrible.

The fuckin' titties are talking right now.

The funniest show in the history of television.

The funny thing is my mom's the one who sent it to me.

The great thing about Mark farner was

The hoisin sauce I don't think is a big...

The last time we see him. Three months, we're gonna be in New York.

The mirrors, which are at a 45â° angle...

THE MONEY FROM THE COOKIES, MR. DAVID,

The money.

The more dramatic forms of narcissism,

The Mr. softee truck.

The next car is also gonna be taking up two spaces

The one armed man!

The only problem is the car. The seat...

THE OTHER DAY.

The other night at the table you decided to talk about my marriage.

The owner of the house, he just left.

The penis is an extraordinary instrument, Jane.

The penis wants to get to his homeland.

The people and the skeevotz... it's disgusting.

The pinkberry'll melt. It'll never get there in time.

The plan is a plan. A confirmation is a guarantee

The plan is the confirmation.

THE PLASTIC APPLICATOR IS MADE OF TWO TUBES.

The red Volvo?

The run's been extended, so another six weeks.

The same bullshit excuse that Jeff did?

The sharks are swimming around. Nobody's even... the sharks aren't eating anybody.

The ski that comes in two pieces is an invention.

The sorry window? I didn't know there was a sorry window.

THE TEAM IS THE TEAM'S AN ASSET

The tests came back positive for leptospirosis.

The thing is things aren't great right now

The tournament won't let us get anybody else,

The TV kind of diverts your attention

The way you're saying it, it's almost like

The whole season is a complete waste of time!

The whole thing is ruined. You know, you're in the take out business,

The woman is on this earth to catch balls.

Their sisters in the cunt!

Then I'd say something about Eddie and ilene having an affair.

Then I'll come back and we'll see if

Then the "arry David" is sloppy.

Then they will give it gladly.

Then what's the difference? Everybody's gonna see her.

Then you can take home and everything be okay?

Then you move on? You go away? Everything okay, yeah?

Then you're gonna leave and then that car is gonna get blamed.

Then your little golf game would be called off.

There are two things about dog that everybody knows, okay?

There can be no bullshit on this counter, do you understand?

There he is.

There is no substitute for winning!

THERE IS NOTHING THAT ALLOWS YOU TO RESTRICT WHAT HE DOES WITH YOUR PRODUCT

There should be a doctor who handles just feathers.

There shouldn't be a motherfucker cutting titties down.

There was a one armed man here.

There was a one armed man playing him.

There will be no lunch, no breakfast or dinner.

There won't be a drink.

There won't be a snack. There won't be coffee.

There you go. How are you doing?

There... there she goes. Yeah. Uh, excuse me.

There's a good one called "next to normal"

There's a great Mexican place right down the road.

There's a hose? I don't have a hose.

There's a lot of bad Karma attached to tattling. Are you aware of that?

There's a mirror on the bottom and a mirror on the top, right?

There's a signing thing at the regency.

There's a whole side dish here for the remnants.

There's other good restaurants around too.

There's place cards on the table. Find your name.

There's shit laying around the house!

These cabinets are mine... look!

They come over to your table, they eavesdrop.

They had put some dried pineapple in there.

They had to postpone it. Bedbug infestation on the nap mats.

They have a hard time gauging how long they've been talking

THEY HAVE GANGS OVER THERE AND EVERYTHING ELSE AND I'LL BE DOING BUSINESS.

They know every nook and cranny. You know, every nook and cranny.

THEY LOOK AT THEIR MARRIAGE LIKE IT WAS A WASTE OF TIME?

They loved each other very much. It's very hard on her.

They make them so long.

They moved the audition. It's in 10 minutes.

They should move it a mile away.

They some tricky motherfuckers.

They wipe the evidence away there was ever a tear.

They'd take down all those settlements in the morning.

They'll go to the Tonys. That's no great accomplishment.

They're all over the park.

They're charging me $200 for the ticket.

They're frequently used by idiots

They're fuckin' just yippity yapping right now.

THEY'RE GONNA FINALIZE THE PAPERS. I'VE GOT TO GET OVER THERE.

They're in a league. Is that what you call it?

They're never closed. They're open till, like, midnight.

They're not saying rosebud, whatever that is.

They're opening up a second location

They're sold out.

Things aren't so great with susie and I right now.

This bathroom is for coach passengers only.

This car is the other fucking man.

This computer and... He stole it.

This could be a big, elaborate con game for all we know.

This could be our first meal together. Get my friend some lunch.

This could be very awkward. We won't be able to play

This dude right here. The gatekeeper won't let me in the goddamn building.

This food is staying here because I have no place to put it!

THIS GUY DOESN'T HAVE AN ASSISTANT.

This guy's got integrity.

THIS HAPPENS TO BE VERY IN. JOHN VARVATOS...

This is a whole other side of you that people don't know about.

THIS IS BETTER THAN EXCUSE ME?

This is better than anything the civil rights leaders have ever come up with.

This is chaos. Society can't function like this.

This is completely in confidence.

This is gonna be the first

This is how you treat a friend?! Are you fucking kidding me?!

This is it. This is the block.

This is it... championship. One more out, all right?

This is Larry, one of my oldest friends.

This is my favorite carriage here.

This is my lucky day.

This is my time, Wanda. This is not your time.

This is my time.

This is not algebra. This is my life.

This is our friend and neighbor Larry.

This is ridiculous.

This is right up your alley, okay, funkman?

This is so ironic. We're having lunch after all.

This is the dog that's been going on my lawn.

This is what a desk should look like.

This is what you bring?

This is why you need to be here. Can't you come in for a day?

This is... oh, you've taken a load off my shoulders,

This is... yeah.

This isn't even food. What the fuck is this?

This looks like an eighth grade science experiment,

This man is a hero.

This might really be a real thing.

This motherfucker has some room to it too.

This new trainer completely cured me.

This penis that I have cannot compete with the Tonys.

This poor, innocent fellow to sneak into the line.

This shit got some fucking heart to it.

This shit is a moving dildo.

This space has to remain clean!

This stays exactly the way it is.

This thing is so great. I mean, it's unbelievable.

This thing. That's what it looks like.

This very generous person bought me a bottle of wine,

This was a girl that you knew from the neighborhood, I presume.

This weighs almost five lbs. You eat this? You put this in your body?

This woman is amazing.

This woman, she gets robbed, right?

This would be a fantastic place

Those frenchies seek him everywhere,

Those titties are a blabbermouth, you know what I'm talking about?

Three blocks ahead I see we're heading for trouble.

Three blocks ahead there's a guy with his truck.

Three months, right? Okay, I'll tell him three months minimum.

Three or four or maybe five minutes

Tickets will be at the box office.

To a Rogers and hammerstein musical?

To actually go to the theater and sit in the theater?

To avoid situations like this in the future,

To beat you at a fucking game, okay?

To complete the shot, if you understand what I'm saying.

To do me a huge favor.

To do some sort of benefit.

To get $60 back from me.

To get gas for the car and shit?

To get some take out,

To give it every chance it has. I mean, that's all I can do.

To go to a different section,

To have a safe man in their midst

To hell with the kishka. Come on.

To invite you in to start a discussion.

To leave my computer with.

To look after my computer yesterday, remember?

To make sure that you're okay for the Hamptons.

TO ME, IT'S KIND OF LIKE PUBLIC SCHOOL.

To my left also taking up two spaces.

To open that bag and see what was going on.

To pay them for the full hour. That was the way they did business.

To see prostitutes.

To take my mind off of my grief.

To tell you the truth, whenever I see a woman who's happy,

To the five man club championship.

To the rally on the other side of goldblatt's at the German place.

To the Tony awards.

Toasted with some butter and maybe a little garlic.

Together, okay?

Told you anything?

Tomorrow? Tomorrow 2:00, same time.

Took a vow of silence. ( Chuckles ) you took a vow of silence?

Trying to help. I was helping out.

Turned out to be a door for good skin so he wasn't a pedophile at all.

TWO SINGLE GUYS AT A BALLGAME

Two years, you're still getting sorries? I don't think so.

Two, three, four, five.

Uh huh.

Uh huh. A kind of pastoral feel to it.

Uh oh.

Uh, "Mr. higginbotham"?

Uh, about the same, I think, yeah.

UH, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WIFE LIKE THAT.

Uh, Monday morning.

UH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, CAPTAIN. I APPRECIATE THAT.

UH, THAT WAS A COINCIDENCE.

Uh, that'd be my veterinarian at the front of the line.

Uh... okay, yeah, I'll be there.

Um, anyway, I'm doing the shark show.

UM, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE FROM THE BUFFET

Um, earlier I tried to use the one up there

Um, earlier I tried to use the one up there

Um, I actually think you might have had enough.

Um, I asked you not to come here.

UM, I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO USE ONE OF THESE.

Um, I mean it's Rosie O'Donnell.

Um, I think half. Half ready.

UM, SO WE'RE IN STOCK ON A LOT OF THE COOKIES.

UM, SO YOU KNOW, I JUST SIGNED THE PAPERS.

Um, that's not gonna work.

UM, WE HAVE THANK U BERRY MUNCH COOKIES.

Um, where did this food come from?

Um, who was that?

Um, you want to try out that palestinian chicken place?

UM...

Um...

UM...

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. I've never seen anything like that in my life.

Unless of course you want to handle it.

Using the prototype, you have no idea.

Usually they're good. I don't know.

Usually when someone finishes crying

Vance? Talking?

Very cute text that you sent me. It was very sweet.

Very moist.

Wait 45 minutes before you saw him.

WAIT A SECOND. HOW COULD ANDREW BERG

Wait for the guy to come back. He'll tell... god damn it!

Wait wait wait. I beg your pardon.

Wait, hey!

Wait, she's going to commit suicide and she calls you?

Waiting for the word from the doctor.

Wanda: Hey judge.

Want a grand slam?

Was because of the "I.O.L." Thing. I drove her to it.

Was it? I didn't look at the price.

Wasn't there another one? So all of them would be closed?

We all have to go at some point.

We are again going to stay in the present moment,

We are fucking men, Larry.

We aren't just going to beat them,

We became a couple because we didn't want to be separated.

WE CAN'T GO UP AGAINST EACH OTHER.

We can't say anything to him.

We could get you another one. I'll pay for it if you want.

We could learn a lot of things from Japan.

We could talk till we're blue in the face.

We covered them in breadcrumbs

We don't have any maintenance people up here doing work.

We don't spend time together because i don't want to spend time together.

We have somebody coming in next week.

WE HAVE THE...

We have to save something for dinner.

WE HAVE YOUR COOKIES THAT YOU ORDERED.

We love it. We just love it.

We love this restaurant. You're never gonna be able to come back here.

We made it! We made it to the big game.

We met at a baseball card show.

We met like eight years ago. I...

We probably should have told you.

We really gotta get going, man.

We should all show up at the rally and try to stop them from opening it.

We sit in the back. I say we go.

We talk. She's invigorating me.

We tried to make his life the best possible life...

We use it so much, as you can imagine, with all of our members.

We were just talking about the golf tournament.

We will grab them and we will fuck

We will make him and you as comfortable as possible.

We wouldn't have chaplin or the Marx brothers.

We... you know, we kind of worked things out.

We'll get into a fight, it'll last for months.

We'll head him off at the pass.

We'll miss you this year, but next year we won't.

We're clearly at an impasse here.

We're depending on you. I hope you've got your swing.

We're excited to hang out with Heidi... Heidi, right?

We're fine. We're cool. We are so cool.

We're four strokes ahead after this hole.

We're going to concentrate

We're going to move on down the couch.

We're going to New York for three months and not gonna see your face!

We're going to play this other team,

We're gonna win a tournament.

We're good.

We're not friends because we never spend time together.

We're not gonna say a word, so don't even worry about it.

We're playing for the championship. Are you not listening?

We're splitting that so it really doesn't matter.

We're still talking about my wife right now?

We're surrounded,

We're working out. He's great.

We've got a garbage truck at 12:00.

We've got some ground rules we've gotta make here, right?

We've got to get to the cemetery. What do you think?

Wearing my name on your shirt again.

Well well well, look who's here.

Well well.

Well, come on, Mr. softee.

WELL, GOOD AFTERNOON, GENERAL PETRAEUS. IT'S LOVELY TO SEE YOU.

Well, he would just wanna give me his apartment?

Well, I appreciate naked women.

WELL, I GOT HIT IN THE FACE. WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?

Well, I mean... I mean, to be fair,

Well, I suppose that's an idea,

Well, I think even if it were a dress shoe I would be fine.

Well, I think that's one way to do it,

Well, I understand and I empathize with you

Well, I would never say that.

Well, I'll be covering this section today,

Well, I'll need a confirmation.

WELL, I'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN.

Well, I'm sure there was other things that drove her to it too.

Well, if you're saying that your best player

Well, it looks like you could take care of yourself, honestly.

Well, it's a mystery to me.

Well, it's good to see you.

Well, it's somewhere between a hobby and a profession

Well, keep that away from me no matter what.

Well, let me just point out to you, Larry,

Well, let's go for it another night.

Well, listen, I hope you'll excuse me.

Well, listen, I'm sorry you're gonna miss it again,

WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE. IT'S THE BIG FUNK.

Well, not if it's good.

WELL, OKAY, IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, LET ME KNOW AND I'LL...

Well, right now I have two people, yeah,

Well, so what I'm looking for is $250,000.

Well, so...

Well, thank you. It was good. There was good.

Well, that goes without saying, but look, if Ron finds out,

Well, that'd be a nice thing for you to do.

Well, then what about Friday? We'll have lunch on Friday.

Well, there was a little more to it than that.

Well, there's always been a lot of tension there,

Well, we don't call it a sorority.

Well, we have a difference of opinion on implementation.

Well, you know what?

Well, you know what?

Well, you know what? Let me tell you something, Vance.

Well, you know, he's getting up there.

Well, you know, thank you.

Well, you know, we drove it and...

WELL, YOU'RE *******. IT'S ONLY RESPECTFUL.

Well, you're lucky somebody does.

WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH YOU.

Were just answered.

What a bovine she is, huh?

What a great pleasure to meet you all.

What a great pleasure to meet you.

What about a dip?

What about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

What about funkhouser? Will you call him?

What am I supposed to do now? Go from a double d to a...

What am I, a magician? I know that you have a card on you?

What an asshole he is.

What an asshole he is.

What an asshole.

What are you bringing your daughter to an adult dinner party for?

What are you do... How could you do that?

What are you doing here anyway?

What are you doing, Terry?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Get out of here. Taxi!

What are you doing? Give me a test.

What are you doing? What are you..

What are you gonna do? Are you gonna tell on me?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? Why?

What are you, Dr. dolittle?

What are you, in third grade?

What are you...? Oh here, take the popcorn.

What can I do for you today?

What dangles below your bat?

What did he say that was so racist?

What did Rosie think of your apartment?

What did you do? You picked up hitchhikers?

What did you say?

What did...

What do gloves do? Catch the goddamn balls.

What do they invent?

What do they make, a guy like that?

What do we have today? Salisbury steak.

What do we have, man? What the fuck do we have

What do you got in here? Oh, cheese dips... come on.

What do you know about burlesque?

What do you know about social assassination?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME? WHY?

What do you mean pain? ...And that I get these backaches.

What do you mean you went on a helicopter ride?

What do you mean, work something out?

What do you mean? It's a dinner party for adults.

What do you think?

What do you want to do?

What does it say about me? It says I have good judgment.

What happened was I was in a softball game

What happened?

WHAT HAVE I DONE? NAME ONE THING I'VE DONE

What I especially enjoyed about it...

What I was about to say was

What I was saying was I don't like trainers 'cause I don't want more people...

What if you injured it? Would you then bring it into his office

What is he doing? He's just sitting there schmoozing with them?

WHAT IS IN YOUR NOSE?

What is that anyway? I mean, pick a side already, right?

What is that, lar?

What is that? It's not my bread. Larry brought it.

What is this, the raid on Entebbe?

What is this?

What is this? They have to have sex with everyone?

What jerks, huh?

What kind of idiot sees "sting ii" and not "sting I"?

What kind of mood are they in when they... when they talk to you?

What percentage of the show did you look at her breasts?

What should I have said?

WHAT SMALL SHIT? THERE HASN'T BEEN ANY SMALL THINGS.

What the fuck are you doing, kid?

What the fuck does that mean, huh?

What the fuck does that mean?

What the fuck is that? Is he like a mime or some shit?

What the fuck? What?

What the hell are you doing with my daughter?

What the hell is she doing here?

What the hell is this?

What the hell?

What the hell's that sunburn on your head?

What the whole to do was about.

What the... come on, I've got low blood sugar.

What this I hear? I made you wait 3/4s of an hour?

What up, man?

What was I doing? 'Cause somebody has a loving wife

What was it? The... those screw together skis I heard about,

What was the kid doing there, right?

What we did is we made another one further down

What we would love as neighbors and friends...

What were you doing at a baseball card show?

What were you doing in that apartment anyway?

What would bring you to the brink of suicide?

What would happen if we were bi sexuals? I couldn't be comfortable now.

WHAT WOULD YOU THINK IF YOU WERE SITTING ACROSS FROM SOMEBODY GOING LIKE THIS?

What you need is Oscar's bowl on display.

What you think of my parking job, okay, pal?

What, are you juicing, Larry?

What, do you mean it's odd because you've never heard of it?

What, have you visited every prison in the United States?

What, I'm gonna leave it?

What, is she insane? Why would she do that?

What, righty... You go backhand, right?

What, they're saying these things because they're drunk? No, it's in there.

What?

What?

WHAT?

What? Millions of dollars he lost on a nutty idea like that.

What? On the plane he tripped over his shoelaces.

WHAT? CHERYL, THAT'S NOT FAIR!

WHAT? HOLD IT. WAIT A SECOND.

What? Ilene, are you serious? This is fucking ridiculous!

WHAT? PUT THOSE BACK.

WHAT? WAIT A SECOND.

What? What are you waiting for?

What? What did you say?

What? You have to be in the lines,

What?! Eddie and ilene are having an affair?! ( Murmuring )

What... what was that?

What'd you do? You stuffed me into one cabinet!

What's $60 by comparison to intercourse with a woman like that?

What's all this? What's causing this?

What's below your fucking bat?

What's closer to the d, the minus or the plus?

What's that?

What's the big deal? It's just a little joke.

What's the big deal? We're just on line.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE IF I GIVE IT TO SOMEBODY ELSE?

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? HONESTLY, THINK ABOUT IT,

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? LET'S JUST DO IT. COME ON.

What's the matter with you? Telling a joke like that in front of her.

What's the matter? Are you not gonna play?

What's the point of the whole thing?

What's this deal? You got a scarf?

What's up, man?

What's with you?

What's with you? What, have you got laryngitis?

Whatever brought you here is now the beginning of a friendship.

Whatever he decides we'll abide by.

Whatever the fuck you do, you keep her out of this damn car.

Whatever.

When a motherfucker tells me he's about to get some ass.

When are you gonna come back to earth, huh?

When did you have your orgasm?

When do you get the reports on Oscar, by the way? I meant to ask you that.

WHEN HE FIRST MET ME, HE CALLED ME A BIG MACHER.

When he landed that plane in New York City

When I was a kid I had a traumatic incident

When maybe I'm in love with her, all right?

When she drops me off. I just... I can't take it anymore.

When she said she'd fuck the Jew out of you?

When they're done shooting the sharks, they will come back.

When you're going to finally look at her face?

When you're hungry you've got that take out order...

Whenever I see the softee truck

Where are the pictures?"

Where are you? What happened?

Where did they go?

Where do we come in on this?

Where do you think they come from?

Where the fuck did you find out my mother's maiden...

Where the hell are you taking me?

Where the hell's the cemetery? Do you know where it is?

Where the hell's the procession?

Where's antoinette? Doesn't she remind you of these things?

Where's he throwing the ball?

Where's my room at? Where the fuck's my room at, Larry?

Whether you give me a gift or I give you a gift,

Whew. Did you get a load of that one?

Whew. You know what?

Which gets a lot of action.

Which is $573,

Which was normal for him... you might as well call him George Lucas.

Which was their minimum, but it only took him

Which was... everyone just took an absolute bath.

Which you would not think is good Sushi, but it was actually really good Sushi.

While we're watching TV.

Who did this to you?

Who happens to have a vagina and knows the statistics of what Roy white hit in 1971.

Who holds the record for most postseason home runs?

Who not only doesn't want you,

Who saw "sting ii" and not "sting I."

Who say they're bi are really gay and they just can't say it.

Who the fuck did you give it to?

Who the fuck did you give it to?

Who the fuck told you my mother's maiden name?!

Who would confide in you if she was upset?

Who would you rather run around the park with, huh?

Who? Who?

Who...

Who's gonna... He doesn't need to know.

Who's in something and then showing up with it.

Whoa, look at this, man! Are you kidding me, Larry?

Whoa, you dropped something.

Whoo!

Why are you driving like a snail?

Why are you imposing on my time right here?

Why aren't you laughing out loud? Why say it?

Why can't I have another fucking drink?

Why can't you give me a goddamn ride?

Why can't you kiss and talk?

Why did you give her my time?

Why did you have to take up two parking spaces?

Why didn't they put it in one of those bags?

Why do you bring your daughter to an adult dinner party?

Why do you keep asking me that? I know what you're saying.

Why do you want to eat with me?

Why don't the three of us, one night this week, go see her dance?

Why don't we let him decide? He's neutral.

Why don't you finish what you were saying to Karen?

Why don't you go meet up with them?

Why don't you go to every burlesque show

Why don't you guys figure this out?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO WITH HER? WHY DON'T YOU BRING HER?

Why don't you mind your own business?

Why don't you stay between the lines

Why don't you stay confined within the lines

Why is that?

Why should we trust him?

Why would I back away? This woman is crazy about me.

Why would she give us both her card? It doesn't make any sense.

Why would she give us both her card? It doesn't make any sense.

Why would we have lunch in the new city?

Why would you ask me that?

Why would you tell us now about your helicopter ride?

Why wouldn't you give it to a black person?

Why?

Why? You've gotta go? Take it easy.

Why? I thought you were gonna come upstairs.

Why? I'll tell you why. Because when you're impotent, women treat you like a leper.

Why's that? Look at this!

Will you just talk, please?

With all due respect,

With all due respect, I was just wondering

With anybody. Even if you see Jerry...

With my dad. And it seems if Ron were to find out about his wife,

With my name on it,

With no goddamn weapon. That ain't cool.

With one of our members and her dog.

With someone she vaguely knows

With susie and I, they're not so great.

With tape, staples, however you've got to do it.

With that figure, with those boobs.

With the pencil side, thank god. That side...

With the potatoes, for example. You know?

With their pussy mustard yellow shit uniforms.

With two outs that cost us the championship.

Without a doubt.

Women do not have penises. Men have penises.

WONDERFUL.

WORKING AND BEING ALONE.

Would I ever turn fucking blue?

WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN COMING OUT, SITTING IN A BOX WITH ME?

Would you like me to get a bottle of wine for Mr. gervais?

Would you mind driving me home?

Would you mind keeping an eye on that computer?

Wow, I am talking to two schoolboys right now.

Wow, that's pretty good. But not good enough.

Wow, this is a very exciting and interesting idea.

Wow, this is amazing. It worked.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow. ...When you were bawling in front of the refrigerator.

Wow. Larry, that's a very personal question.

Wow. too bad for that person.

Yeah well, I'm canceling my appointment.

Yeah well, I'm usually a cubs fan.

Yeah yeah, I know. I know.

Yeah yeah.

Yeah, 'cause you were chatting with your friend

Yeah, a little bit with the angels.

Yeah, a smiley face at the end.

Yeah, and how much money is that gonna cost?

Yeah, aw.

Yeah, because, you know what?

YEAH, BUT I REALLY LIKE THAT CRUMBLY STUFF ON THE TOP.

Yeah, but the owner has control of where the dog goes.

Yeah, but this doesn't go with my menu.

Yeah, ever since I met you i can't stop puking.

Yeah, except she hasn't been here in three weeks.

Yeah, full house. Oh, here.

Yeah, he's a judge. Okay.

Yeah, Henry's using the dementia

Yeah, how did it get that way, by the way?

Yeah, I am putting it away. Right here.

Yeah, I fell. I'm clumsy.

Yeah, I hate the Dodgers. That's okay.

Yeah, I honestly did. It's a great idea.

Yeah, I knew from her name. O'Donnell, Irish, duh.

Yeah, I know how to do the heimlich.

Yeah, I like to munch and pee.

Yeah, I need a ride over to my cousin's building. It's on fire.

Yeah, I saw that. He's the first one to wear that since Hitler, isn't he?

Yeah, I want to keep my throat warm 'cause I'm in a play at the moment.

Yeah, I was just about... whoa.

Yeah, I was worried about that.

YEAH, I'D BE INTERESTED.

Yeah, I'd like another drink, please.

Yeah, if I like the sorry, everything will be hunky dory.

YEAH, INTERESTED MEANS TICKET!

Yeah, it was amazing.

Yeah, it's good bread. It has no yeast in it.

Yeah, it's like he found a new best friend.

Yeah, it's very hard to apologize to a dog

Yeah, laugh it up.

Yeah, let's do it.

Yeah, let's go see her. What the hell?

Yeah, no, it's my... It's my fault.

Yeah, now get the fuck out of my driveway, you bald prick.

Yeah, on top of that shit, check it out.

Yeah, right. That's why you married susie?

Yeah, right. Yeah, cohn, *******.

Yeah, send her in, sure.

Yeah, small price to pay

Yeah, sorry. Sorry about that.

Yeah, sure. Yeah, research.

Yeah, take it, Jew. Take it, Jew.

Yeah, take it, Jew. Take it, Jew.

Yeah, that would be nice.

Yeah, that's fucked up. You can't go into a fuck fight

Yeah, that's right. All right, come on, take it off.

Yeah, there was a woman and she took a seat that didn't belong to her.

Yeah, tomorrow 2:00.

Yeah, we're gonna be thinking about it. We'll talk to you soon.

Yeah, well, he just mentioned you were still here.

Yeah, well.

Yeah, what gives her the right? It's self centered.

Yeah, you know, my assistant's not here.

Yeah, you two go, go eat. Go stuff your face, both of you.

Yeah, you're right. I could have helped him.

Yeah! Hey, all right!

Yeah? ...You make this noise... "ahh."

Yeah? No, I don't want to leave him out of it,

Yeah? That would make me happy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, thanks for stopping by.

YEAH. CHERYL!

Yeah. Let me tell you something.

Yeah. Like you're going to pay me back.

Yeah. No. ...Don't mention it, 'cause he wouldn't want me

Yeah. Oh, there's a level of being an adult?

Yeah. The good news is you're gonna be around for it though.

Yeah. Well, they spoke Spanish.

YEAH. WHAT IS A JEW DOING ON A MOTORCYCLE?

Yeah. What's taking this line so long?

Yeah. You can't say anything personal.

Yeah. You discuss things like that?

Yeah. You gave it to a black guy?!

Yep, met in college... 20 years.

Yes I did. And the evidence for that

Yes sir, can I help you?

Yes, 'cause you're gonna be annihilated.

Yes, and congratulations, doctor.

Yes, and I paid so little attention to it

Yes, aw.

Yes, he had a work uniform like he was fixing an air conditioner.

Yes, I am fluent. Yes.

Yes, I can understand that you're upset.

Yes, I did.

Yes, I know, but I shat where I ate.

Yes, I spilled ice cream.

Yes, if I see a rat in the house, I want to kill it.

Yes, okay, that's a good girl.

Yes, really really good under very difficult circumstances.

Yes, thank you.

Yes, that's...

Yes, those were his words. Shit bow.

YES, YOU'RE TALKING TO ME.

Yes!

Yes! And Jeff's telling me the truth?

Yes! You got it, Larry.

Yes? Good good. Thank you.

Yes.

Yes. ...And what you've done is made it like this.

Yes. ...I just wanna tell ya I'm gonna miss ya.

Yes. Everybody's going to New York.

Yes. My advice is don't try too much at once.

Yes. Do you mind if I put my feet up here?

Yes. How does a vet do?

Yes. I mean, who knows what's gonna happen? But it's a great start.

Yes. I'm so sorry. I had to take off.

YES. LISTEN, YOU KNOW, I GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHING.

Yes. You know what? You don't know anything about bread.

Yet we were the ones who were doing the waiting.

Yo. What are you doing?

You abuse my father in scrabble... a game he loves, okay?

YOU ARE A COLOSSAL PRICK.

You are a man of great character.

You are absolutely right. Don't be a fucking victim.

You are the first inventor I've ever handed a check to?

You are unbelievable, you know that?

You are. You're a hero.

You believe, you feel something,

YOU BETTER GO OVER TO O'DONNELL AND APOLOGIZE.

You called me old?

You came in for one day, tomorrow you'll go back to the hospital.

YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.

You can just look it up. It's Mark farner.

You can talk and make out.

You can't catch a goddamn toss?

You can't compete against the Tonys.

You can't even mention balls and breasts in the same breath.

You can't judge me because I have a beautiful wife.

You canceled our appointment last week.

You could ask any stranger on the street,

You could care less about what he does.

You could get somebody killed for $573.

You could have a little sandwich while you're watching.

You could say it to her, you know?

You did this. You're responsible for this.

You did. It's okay.

You didn't confirm. There's no way I'm gonna go there.

You didn't mention. You talk a lot

You didn't see "the sting"?

You didn't swear him to secrecy. What's the big deal?

You disgraced... You disgraced my business.

You do. If you only went to lunch with him.

You doing something, lar? What do you do?

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE?

YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO GET DIVORCED.

You don't fuckin' wanna reduce your titties by half

YOU DON'T HAVE TO, BUT IT MIGHT NOT BE A BAD IDEA FOR YOU TO STICK AROUND FOR THAT MEETING.

You don't just love me for my tits, do you?

You don't know what I'm serving.

YOU DON'T LIKE THOSE PILLOWS EITHER.

You don't need to be looking at garbage.

YOU DON'T NOTICE THE SMALL SHIT, LARRY!

You don't stand there like a jackass.

You don't think there's any way in the world I would have done something about that guy?

You don't understand because you're not the steinbrenner.

You don't want me to hold the popcorn, right?

YOU DONE RAN THAT OTHER ASS IN THE GROUND, RIGHT?

You drove the car? Look what you did to the car.

You feel overwhelmed by something

You felt humiliated as a result of the strip poker game?

You fixed it all so you could be at the cool table.

You forgot something, kid.

You fucking bucknered it. Why is Buckner on my team?

You gave him a rather deep bow.

YOU GET DIVORCED, YOU GET DIVORCED,

You get out of my face. Just get the fucking drink.

You get that cabinet back, there'll be a little something in it for you.

YOU GO TALK TO JOE O'DONNELL.

You go to your left. Go to your left.

YOU GOT A GOOD LAWYER. YOU GOT THE BEST LAWYER, LARRY.

You got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it.

You got me in a lot of trouble with that scrabble game.

You got pudding in here, okay? You got fucking pudding. Gimme a break.

You got Ricky gervais, you got ally, you got your Broadway stars.

You got that right.

You got to have a photo I.D. For that, you know what I'm saying? Fuck that.

You got to tell people you're here sometimes, right?

You got two half titties, right?

You got two things to do:

You guys are on a fuckin' roll.

YOU HAD A CUP LIKE THAT AT JULIA'S PARTY.

YOU HAD SEX WITH TWO WOMEN IN MY BEDROOM?

You have slandered me, my friend.

YOU HIRED A BALD MAN, HUH?

You hit the jackpot with this place, huh?

You I can understand. You've been married a long time.

You just come out with it. It's impressive, you know?

You just get used to it.

You just have that effect on people?

You just have to... That's your job...

You know about it. That's enough for me.

You know how to do the heimlich. You could have, you know.

You know I got you. Give me a few dollars.

You know I'm taking out the hostess from the restaurant?

You know that he and I used to play in a band together for a while.

You know they replaced all the lighting here.

You know what a lesbian brings on a second date? A u haul.

You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? Nice to see you.

You know what I'd like to do now?

You know what I'm talking about?

You know what this car is?

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU GET A FUCKING DIVORCE?

YOU KNOW WHAT, BERG? I LIKE THE CUT OF YOUR JIB.

You know what, Larry? I think you're taking the wrong tactic with these women.

You know what, Larry? Thank you for admiring our home.

YOU KNOW WHAT, LARRY? YOU DONE FUCKED THAT SHIT UP! YOU KNOW WHY?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

You know what? Don't invite me anymore. How about that?

You know what? Fuck you, don't come home tonight.

You know what? How about if I just go get it?

You know what? I could make circles for, like, four hours.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT NEWS FOR YOU.

You know what? I gotta return some laundry to some neighbors.

You know what? I have a challah in the car that I'll bring in.

You know what? I really appreciate that,

You know what? I should go say hello to him, shouldn't I?

You know what? I think I figured this shit out.

You know what? I think that's true.

You know what? I'd love to.

You know what? I'm going back there

You know what? I'm gonna find that one armed man

You know what? I'm gonna give you "coon."

You know what? I'm looking at your eyes

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT EVEN INTERESTED.

You know what? I've never had pinkberry.

You know what? Talk to your friends and neighbors

You know what? This is not fair what's going on here.

You know what? We need to test drive it though.

You know what? You've gone through enough today

You know what? Your business is your business.

You know when you were a kid walking with your mother through bohack's,

You know, actually I was about ready to take a break for lunch, yeah.

You know, before I came out today

YOU KNOW, FOR DATING. I'M JUST WONDERING IF SHE'LL POINT IT OUT, THAT'S ALL.

You know, I didn't even ask him to move in.

You know, I just came.

You know, I know we have our problems with these people

You know, I was actually planning

You know, I'm sorry I got up and got the food the other day.

You know, I've got to tell you it was traumatic

You know, I've tried to get susie to take a vow of silence.

You know, in most countries,

You know, it just builds up.

You know, it was like a $300 bottle of wine.

YOU KNOW, IT'S COMPLICATED TO SAY THE LEAST.

You know, it's fine. It's okay.

You know, it's pretty... I mean, I like it, but...

You know, it's so wonderful

You know, Koreans own pinkberry.

You know, life that sorely needs changing.

You know, life... it gets so crazy sometimes.

You know, look at "the sting." That's elaborate.

You know, okay, again...

You know, one of the pills. I need a pill.

You know, straighten up a little bit. Maybe you can get one back.

You know, the bedside's a little overrated, frankly.

You know, there is one more little issue

You know, these buses come by. Everybody makes such a big deal about eating outside.

You know, they keep you waiting there in the room there with 1300 other people.

You know, uh, he was abusing the stewardess

You know, we always liked each other and now we like each other a little more.

You know, when I first saw you

You know, when people go skiing,

You know, when they're about to be electrocuted.

You know, when you're giving your best effort, it's a team game, those things happen.

You know, wound up over there.

YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD HAVE RECUSED YOURSELF.

YOU KNOW? I KNOW THAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU.

You know? You just put it out there, 'cause that's what you do.

YOU LEFT THE RING STAIN ON JULIA'S TABLE.

You let the ball go through your legs. Too too too tot.

You like fucking full titties or half titties?

You long explanation how special bow is. Okay, we got it.

You look... you're like beaming with light.

You looked at her mole with a goddamn telescope

You made a trade with the rabbi?

You made me take two parking spaces, okay?

You must be the only person in the world

You need a place to stay, Larry, and you are going to New York, aren't you?

You need money? I gave you $40 yesterday.

You never give up a cabinet. Never give up a cabinet.

You never know. Crazier things, right?

YOU PICKED THAT FUCKING LAWYER. YOU FUCKING MY SHIT UP.

You push a button in the car and it comes right up.

You put my change in here. The vaccum sealed nuts...

YOU RAN THAT ASS IN THE GROUND AND YOU'RE MOVING ON, RIGHT?

YOU RUINED MY WHOLE VACATION. YOU HAD TO BUTT IN

You said "fuck you, dog" to me?

You said I say sorry, you believe, you move, you go away, okay?

You said one more; I did one more.

You saw your teacher and you had to realize she didn't live in school?

You say that to white people too. You can't turn blue?

You say you're separating the couples?

You screw it on, okay? Like a pool cue.

You secure the take out order.

You see a rat in the house, you don't want to kill it?

You see this estimate?

You see, the reason she was crying

You should be thankful he's unethical. He's unscrupulous.

You should hear some of the racial epithets this guy was using in there.

You should just let him take care of it.

You should try sometime. There's good places here.

You take an advil for that stuff.

You take that cabinet and we'll split this one.

You tell people how you're feeling, what you're thinking...

You think about on the way home. I think, yeah.

You think anybody else could do what I do

You think I'd go out with a guy wearing a green wife beater?

You think it could be a con game?

You think of inventions; You never do the inventions.

You think that's a multimillion dollar idea?

You think they're gonna say "rosebud" or something.

YOU THINK WE'RE GONNA HAVE A NICE DIVORCE IF WE EVER GET DIVORCED?

You thought it'd be more?

You thought of... You actually thought of...

You throw a couple of stones behind your brassiere.

You told me specifically not to let you have any dessert.

You told... well, why would he say something?

You tried to put a noodle in a woman? Women hate that, man.

You trusted that black motherfucker.

You understand I'm the waiter?

You understand?

You understand? Larry, I don't live in school either.

You want me to get back in line? Would that make you feel better?

You want me to juice?

You want to be fair about this thing? I'll take this cabinet,

You want to fuck me like Israel fucked my country?

You want to go take in a couple of Broadway shows?

You want to spend the winter in the dentist's office?

You went there like a pervert.

YOU WENT TO SCHOOL, YOU GOT THROUGH IT

You were short of the authentic bow.

You were taking such a long time.

You what?

You won't say anything? Yeah, that's what I thought.

You work 20 seconds from here. You're not gonna stick with her.

You wouldn't be so tolerant of that "I.O.L."

You wouldn't move over. It was odd.

You you look at my penis. I i... I don't... I don't like it.

You zionist pig. You occupying fuck.

You, me and Jasmine... The three of us.

You... you like saying that, don't you?

You... you...

You'd be up in first class if someone bought you a ticket.

YOU'D HAVE TO BE ABLE TO ESTABLISH PRIOR INTENT.

You'll be fine.

You'll see. You'll see.

You'll submit to a full...

You're a dissipated alcoholic. How dare you?

You're a girl? You're a witch.

You're a singles hitter your whole life,

You're always attracted to someone who doesn't want you, right?

You're an asshole. You know what the best thing about going to New York is?

YOU'RE COMING OUT AHEAD IN THIS DEAL AND SHE'S COMING OUT BEHIND.

You're comparing breasts with balls?

You're comparing this thing we saw tonight

You're damn right. Rosie O'Donnell does not have...

You're damn right. She was coming downstairs.

You're fucking antoinette's mother? That's sick!

You're getting mookie's autograph, huh?

You're goddamn right. I have overcome, god damn it.

You're goddamn right. Me too, Larry. You know what I mean?

You're going to tattle, is that it?

You're gonna drive yourself crazy.

YOU'RE GONNA GET NOTHING OUT OF IT. YOU MENTION THE "D" WORD ONCE

YOU'RE GONNA KEEP YOUR HOUSE, YOU'RE KEEPING ALL YOUR PROPERTY.

You're gonna take your popcorn into the bathroom?

You're hired.

You're intent on going through this?

You're koufaxing us?

You're Mr. grand slam? Mr. get anybody, even Jane, huh?

You're not allowed to just say, "hey, let's have sex."

You're not crying. There's no tears coming out.

You're not dissecting a frog in 12th grade biology.

You're not even a man anymore!

You're not getting a confirmation!

You're not going to lunch. You're going to pinkberry and you're coming back.

You're not gonna resent me when I leave here

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET THE HOUSE!

You're not the center of the universe!

You're not the first person who's told me that.

You're not the guy.

You're probably right about that. Not much I can do about it.

You're really hitting the cake here, huh? And donuts?

You're so funny.

You're still communicating, but in a much less effective way.

You're still holding a grudge

You're taking up two spaces,

You're telling me it's unfair the amount of cabinet space

You're the only one who can do it.

You're two days older than I am.

You're welcome to help yourself.

You're welcome.

You're... bullshit, you're done. It's for os...

You've been through a lot, right? A lot of other women here.

You've got something on your head.

You've got the plan. You've got the confirmation. You've got a subcommittee.

You've got to secure these bags.

You've heard of the shark show, right, "great white wonderland"?

You've just got to forget about it.

You've never seen her. When she gets onstage...

Your bow is right.

Your bow was only like 15â°.

Your breasts are magnificent.

Your judgment is not good.

Your soup is... look at this.

Your taste was about twice as big as mine.

Yup. ...And that's what I want you to try.

1,000 people let down...

50 50. YOU TAKE WHATEVER 50% YOU WANT.

3948, right? The last four

...THINK THAT. YES, AND YOU DID NOTHING

'Cause you are going to New York. I'm going tomorrow.

"...with susie and I." They're not great.

"Ahh." right? Isn't that it? It's horrible.

"Don't park there," listen. Ron: Okay.

"had." had?

"HEY, BALDY," YOU KNOW? OKAY, LET'S IT'S BETTER IF YOU DON'T.

"I've gotta get back." Okay.

"L.o.l." was the final straw, yes. Wow.

"Mister simmington." What is it? Is it drama?

"Mister simmington." Yes. "Mister simmington."

"Mister simmington" it is. Excellent.

"no matter what." Yeah yeah yeah, I...

( All laugh ) susie: Yeah, okay.

( Arguing ) this unforg...

( Banging ) oh my god.

( beeps ) KATZ, IT'S LARRY.

( Cheering ) oh my god!

( Chimes playing ) ( Larry gasps )

( Chimes playing ) what the fuck, Larry?

( Chuckles ) okay.

( Chuckles ) shalom.

( Chuckles ) well, good to see you. Yeah.

( Clears throat ) yeah. Nice talking to you.

( Crashes ) oh my god!

( Crowd cheering ) oh, fuck!

( Crunches ) ahh!

( Door closes ) ( chuckles )

( doorbell rings ) SAY THOSE THINGS WHEN YOU REALLY LOVE ME.

( Eddie laughs ) mmm.

( Forced laugh ) hello.

( Gasping ) ( groaning )

( girls yelling ) OH, TOO BAD!

( Guys laugh ) l.O.L., Jeff.

( Huffs ) ( door closes )

( Knocks ) yoohoo!

( laughing ) I looked exactly like her.

( Laughing ) Larry: Huh?

( Laughing ) oh my god.

( Laughing ) okay.

( Laughing ) okay.

( Laughing ) one for you and one for me.

( laughs ) DO YOU KNOW THAT?

( Laughs ) if we can get Sully's number

( Laughs ) that's a lot of crap.

( Laughs ) the Tonys.

( Laughs ) bye. I'm gonna call you.

( Laughs ) okay. So we can go then?

( Laughs ) yes, I think I did. Really?

( Laughter ) l.O.L.

( Miriam laughs ) bye. We'll see you.

( Moaning ) filthy Jew.

( Moans ) ( groaning )

( Moans ) ( woman laughs )

( Passengers gasp ) ( man shrieking )

( Praying ) no way. No way.

( Ringing ) hello.

( Rings, beeps ) hello.

( Ron chuckles ) wow, Larry. The beef is delicious.

( Scoffs ) are you juicing now?

( Scoffs ) I did? Well, you just speak your mind, you know?

( Sighs ) hey, Larry.

( Sighs ) what happened?

( Silent ) oh, hey, Vance.

( Slaps ) Rosemary: Stop please.

( Snickers ) the ed... Of shitting where you eat.

( Sniffles ) hi. Hi.

( Tires screech ) Jeff: Go go go.

( Whimpers ) oh, good to see you.

( Woman crying ) It's okay. Let it go.

* going to run all night... ( Honks )

$3,000. Both: $3,000?

$250,000? Seed money.

$573? Yeah.

8:00 in the morning to 10:00 at night... ( Making sympathetic noises )

45 minute... rivkin did? 45... yes!

217 to 67? What? Oh, I...

A BAD THING? YES.

A breast blowout. A breast blowout. Exactly right.

A car periscope. That's great. A car periscope, exactly.

A chat and cut? Really? She's feigning familiarity

A fuckin' black dude in there... you forced it out of me.

a going away party... Susie: Not always.

A lot of celery. Celery. Jeff, you hear that?

A lot of that. A lot of guys think that's a good move.

A new show. Yeah? Oh great. Great.

A pig Parker. Hey, you know what?

A pleasure. Hi.

A pleasure. See you again I hope.

A pre tournament dinner. I like it. Jeff: Sure.

A shit bow I got. Yes.

a special needs kid like Max, like my boy. Yeah yeah.

A what? You know, a supplement.

about my show? Yeah, your show stinks.

Absolutely. can't you make up your mind?

Again, really really sorry. Okay.

Ah, hello. Hello.

Ah, I don't know. All right, you know what?

Ah, there they are. Ah.

Ah. Oh! Nice. Huh? Huh?

Al... what is it called? Al abbas best original chicken.

All he hit was a shitty ground ball. Get the fuck out!

all I want to do is buy some ice cream. I know.

All I want to do is have a clean lawn... I understand.

All marriages have straws. Right, the camel's carrying a lot of straw.

All of them are closed. Oh god damn, he can't have his last meal.

All right, 100... pretty high. Yeah well, it does the job.

all right, are we ready? Yeah.

All right, fine. Come on. Let's go.

All right, I gotta go. Look at the stuff that comes out of his mouth.

All right, let's go tell him. We gotta test the prototype.

All right, see you soon. Bye.

ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU, LARRY. SEE YOU AROUND.

All right, take a shower. Call me.

All right, we can get going. We can get going?

All right, we'll tell it to the judge. Okay, whatever he says goes.

All right, we'll text, we'll email. Take care, Vance.

All right, you drive. I don't want to drive!

All right, you're not gonna believe this. What?

All right? The only person who's the asshole here

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. I'LL BE BACK.

All right. Anyway, guys...

All right. Ooh, and I got you treats.

All right. So you're gonna talk to my mom?

All right. You think you can do that?

All they wanna know is that part. Where are the car keys?

All: No! ( theme music playing )

Almost never. Hmm.

Almost three months. Yeah. Wow. What are you doing?

Am I dreaming? Oh, Richard, Heidi.

AND AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.

And didn't see "sting I"? Yeah, I would bet that you are.

And give a call... Who's that?

And he's got good days and bad days. Mm hmm.

and his little plums are hanging down. Jeff: His plums!

AND I THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. HA HA HA HA.

And I will shit where I eat. Or eat where you shat.

and it didn't work. What do you think this is, the firecracker 400?

and it took a long time. Well, this is bullshit.

AND NOW YOU MOVE ON. WHAT'D YOU LEARN?

and passion for accounting... Richard?

and then you cut the line. Are you guys even friends?

And you say to this person... Yeah.

AND YOU WENT, "NO." RIGHT, 'CAUSE I'M NOT *******

and you're shoveling your fat fucking face? I'm hungry!

ANDREW BERG, MY LAWYER. REALLY? ON A MOTORCYCLE?

Anyway, thank you. That was very kind of you. You're welcome.

Anywhere up here. Where the hell is he?

Are you being serious? There's a mole? Yeah yeah yeah.

Are you crazy? I'm really uncomfortable with this.

Are you for real? I had a lot of schpilkas in my life

Are you gonna cheat me too? Hey, dad, dad, easy.

Are you guys free? Well, to be honest,

Are you hungry? Oh, I think he's saying he wants some pizza.

Are you kidding me? Swear to god.

Are you out of your fucking mind? I know.

Are you really sorry? Really? Yes. Yes.

Are you serious right now? Yeah.

Are you serious? Oh, jeez.

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READING THE RIGHT DIRECTIONS? NO, LISTEN TO ME.

Are you? Huh? I don't think I've ever played better.

as far as a male perspective goes. Of course, yes.

As his friend I'm insulted. Okay, sorry.

Ask your father, he'll do it. My dad is spineless.

at a certain time. How did I know that? "I told ilene."

At least the seats are good. Yeah. Thank you.

At the potential of your arrival. Exactly, yes. Yes.

At you? At me. Smiling at an old bald man.

Attendant: Welcome aboard. Thanks.

Aw, don't worry about it. Let's go, come on.

Aw, shit. It's frid...

Back away? Me back away? Yeah, I think you should.

Back in a sec. You're the woman of my dreams,

Bad news, I have no dip. ( Moaning )

BE A GENTLEMAN. I AM A GENTLEMAN, YOUNG LADY!

Beautiful. Fist bump me out.

Beautiful. Margaret: Isn't it nice?

Because I'm getting really upset here. Fine, I'm leaving.

Because obviously there's a problem. There's no problem.

BECAUSE OF BERG! YES, BECAUSE OF BERG.

BECAUSE OF BERG. YES.

because you knew I wouldn't let you. What what what? Larry.

being grateful and being... Inspirational speaker?

Believe me, I knew all along. I was so worried for a while.

Bill Buckner! Hey, how you doing?

Bill Buckner. Oh my god. Yeah, how are you doing?

Bill: I missed it, I'm sorry. Susie: It's in the middle of the street.

Blacks don't fuckin' blush. You never saw a black blush.

Both: Hi. What just happened here?

Bow is very important. Fantastic.

BOY, DID WE DO THE WRONG THING. SHRIMP?

Boy, I had a blast. You know what I think?

BOY, I'M REALLY GETTING IT TODAY. YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY?

Boy, that really burns me, man. What?

Boy: Here we go. Girl: You know what? I'm gonna take two.

Boy: Let's do another hand. Girl: Okay.

Brent: I didn't recognize you. She's doing a chat and cut.

Brian? Hey. Hi.

bust people as they come through... Yeah. Uh huh.

BUT COME IN. OKAY, COOL.

BUT HOW AM I TO KNOW THAT? IT DOESN'T SAY THAT YOU CAN'T

BUT I DON'T REALLY WANT TO BE A GOOD GUY HERE. I KNOW.

But instead... Yeah, I could see that.

But it was my idea. Let me see. Let me see.

But not that. Not that.

But she didn't use it? So?

But yes, she is one of our members. Oh my god.

But you just didn't know what to do with the idea. No, of course not.

but you said "no matter what," okay? But you know what?

But you've decided to give one for yourselves. We're very excited about this.

By the way, who's got the silver Lexus? Ron, why?

By the way... Mmm?

By the what? What a douche. What a douche.

Bye, guys. Okay, st...

Bye, sweetie. Can't wait.

Can I have the weinstein file? Oh, I'll get it for you.

Can I say something? What?

can I talk to you outside for a second, Larry? Yeah, but I wasn't...

Can I try it? Nope.

Can I turn it upside down? Yeah, sure.

Can I walk out with you? Yeah, sure.

Can I... do I bow back? Yeah yeah. Do.

Can you believe it? I left the gate open. Ron, are you fucking

Can you explain this to me? Well, I'm...

CAN YOU TALK A LITTLE SLOWER? OKAY.

Can you wait in the house for me? Yeah yeah, sure.

Celery. Yeah, I heard celery.

CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER. ISN'T IT INCREDIBLE?

Charity! Marty: Gives to charity?

Cheers. All: Cheers.

CHERYL, HOLD ON ONE SECOND. OH MY GOD, I AM NOT TALKING TO JULIA.

Cheryl: I'LL TEXT YOU. ALL RIGHT, NICE TO MEET YOU.

COME IN, IT'S OPEN. L.D.!

Come into our home. Played for the Dodgers,

Come on in. Hi, lar.

Come on in. Oh, well, I came a little early.

Come on, come on. He's all over me.

Come on, Larry. Jeff: Let's go, daddy o.

Come on, let me see. Guess whose name is on there.

Come on, please. Deal. Yeah?

Come on. Bernie Williams.

Come on. Is he having an affair?

Come over here. Larry, you belong with us.

Could you imagine? Have you gentlemen decided?

Couldn't have gone better. No kidding?

CRAB LEGS, SHRIMP, POTATOES. I'M STILL A LITTLE BIT HUNGRY. CAN I TAKE A COUPLE POTATOES?

Crazy. What motivated you? Yeah.

Crowded? How are you?

Deal. ( Giggles ) deal.

Did he order the wine? Yes, he got a very nice bottle.

Did he see you? No.

Did I just see you kiss the hostess? No.

Did she mention my name? No, it did not come up last night.

Did that clinch it? Yeah.

Did they mention a degree? No, they didn't mention degree

DID YOU EVER WANT TO GET A MOTORCYCLE? I ONCE GOT ON A MOTOR SCOOTER

Did you get it? Nope. Closed.

Did you go to the farmer's market? No, I didn't.

Did you guys like the invention? Sure, yes.

Did you have fun? No, not really.

DID YOU JUST WIN? YEAH.

Did you put something in the food? ( High pitched ) no!

Did you use the downey? Yes, I did.

discussing it. Okay. Okay. Hush hush.

Dismissive? yes. Yes.

Do I ever say a word? What do you want from me?

Do you have any idea why... No!

Do you like a dip as well as a chip? Yes! Yes!

Do you like a mixed nut? Mm hmm, yes. Yeah.

Do you like chips? Yeah yeah.

Do you understand? What the hell is that?

Do you want me to put it on for you? Yeah, thanks.

Do your goddamn job. I'll talk to him.

Does he look familiar? Very familiar.

Doing good. Yeah?

Don't be a dick. Get over here!

Don't come home? Mom!

Don't hit me anymore. I didn't really...

Don't worry about it. I don't want to be in your stupid minyan anyway.

Don't you dare go after... Huh? Come on, take it...

don't you think? I know.

Don't... don't worry. I won't say anything. All right?

Donna, you're over there next to Ricky. Okay.

Donna: It's the english thing. Yeah yeah.

Drive you home? I mean if it's okay.

Drop it! ( Mugger grunts )

Drop it! Let it go!

Drop it. It's safe for a baby. Go ahead, we're ready.

Eddie and Juliet: Amen. Now the wine.

Eddie: Cheers. Juliet: Everybody eat up. Come on.

Eddie: I'll take care of it. All right.

Eh, I think it'll be fine. No, it's not gonna be fine.

Encroachment? Yes, you're encroaching.

Enjoying your meal? As a matter of fact I am.

Evening it out? What are you talking about? Yeah, I just evened it out.

Everybody calls me dog. Larry: Dog!

Everything will be fine. I'm so happy you're so supportive!

Exactly. unbelievable.

excuse me, I gotta get in here. Sir, don't ever touch me.

Excuse me, we're... I need some money.

Excuse me. It's okay.

Excuse me. Yes?

Exist, yup. Wants your destruction.

Fantastic! You see that? Stella: I know, I know.

Filthy Jew. Filthy fucking Jew!

Finally the guy dies. Oh my god.

Fine, I'll show up... Okay.

Fine. Show up.

for domestic battery at this address. No no no no no.

For her brains and her sense of worth. Have you set a date aside

For how long? Two, three months.

for practice when he goes out. I agree with you.

For sure. You're welcome.

For the peace process. Mm hmm.

for the sole purpose of cutting in line. You're sure?

Frivolous nonsense for the moronic classes. Oh really?

from head to toe. The full body scan in my underwear?

Fuck out of here. Swear to god.

Fuck these people! All: Fuck these people!

FUCK YOU, LARRY. FUCK YOU, LEON.

Fucking hate that. What is that?

Funkhouser: Count me in. Jeff, we're going, okay?

Funkhouser: No pressure, l.D. All we need is a two putt. Ron: Come on, Larry.

Funkhouser: What's going on? What?

Funkhouser: WHEN YOU GO BACK, GET ME SOME. HI, I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT.

FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY. ( giggles )

Gaby. Hi Gaby. Jeff.

GAME OVER AGAIN. ( doorbell rings )

Get out of here. Nice to meet you.

Get out of this now. Okay, save myself?

Get out, no! People who do that, that means they're lying.

Get over here! Larry, I have a sister.

Get over here! Shara: Anything you want.

Get... get out of here! ( Chring )

Give it to me! You said, "no matter what"!

Give it to me. I fire you. Your car is fired.

Give it up, okay? Woman: Aw, come on.

Give me that ring! Give me that ring! Ricky: Give him the ring.

Give me that! Give me that! Rabbi! No, let go!

Give me the cake! She told me not to let her have it, okay?

Give me the key. You are fired.

Go back and sit down. The cool table?

Go go go! Ha ha, Larry!

Go to your left! All right, I'm going.

Go up normal... They go like that.

God damn. I didn't want to tell you.

god knows what you're saying about me. No one asks about you.

GOOD AFTERNOON. HELLO. GOOD AFTERNOON.

Good choice. Hey, there's our food.

Good day to you. Thank you very much. Good luck.

Good enough for you. Come on, throw it to mommy.

Good luck to you. You're in over your head, Rosie.

Good to have you back. Absolutely.

Good to see you too. The food's gonna be a lot better here

Good to see you. Good to see you.

Good to see you. Great to see you, and my best to all the kids.

GOOD TO SEE YOU. THIS IS DAVID RABINOWITZ,

Good to see you. Yeah.

Good. Miriam was visiting. We just wanted to come by

Good. that's how you run a restaurant.

Good. So is the car ready? Good. Good.

Great job. You're fantastic. Thank you.

Great news. The minyan is complete. Hello.

great right now. Great, yeah.

Great. I'll see you tomorrow. All right.

GUESS SO. OH MY GOD.

GUESS WHO IT TURNS OUT TO BE. PORTIA DE ROSSI.

Guess whose name. Whose name is on there, huh?

Half ready? Yeah yeah yeah.

Half? Half, yeah.

Half? Did you say half? I'll be able to go jogging.

Hank, what happened? I tripped over my shoelaces.

Happy? Oh!

Has no penis. Has no penis. Doesn't have a penis.

Have a real nice day. Okay, I will.

Have you been seeing Donna? No.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THERE? NO.

Have you talked about me to anyone? Of course not.

He actually took two. ( Sighs )

He created a domino effect. Marty: There's no Volvo out there.

He didn't! No, you're in my house,

He gave you this? No, I stole it.

HE HAD THE WHOLE "CH". WOW, HE'S SO DEVIOUS.

he has... he has character. ( Phone rings )

HE JUST WON. ( Larry snorts )

HE LOST IT IN THE DIVORCE? YES SIR.

He loves it. I wonder if that'll catch on in prisons,

He loves pinkberry. If he loves pinkberry,

He only played the important notes... Yeah.

He remembers, so... No, I... I honestly don't.

HE SAID MACHER? "MAHER," WAIT, THERE'S MORE.

He said... Yeah. Uh huh.

he say winning is the only answer. It's important.

He wasn't sorry? No no.

He went way up, right? You heard it? Yeah.

He would? He would.

He'd be great to have. Yeah, he's great. You know what?

He'd be in her purse. You know? He'd be in her purse.

He'll explain everything. You won't be speaking to Mr. David.

HE'S A SWEDE? A SWEDE.

HE'S A SWEDE. HE IS?

He's being moved to a safe house. What?!

He's costing me a fortune. Just pay. We're here.

He's gonna change your life. All right.

He's gonna love it. He's gonna love it. Yeah, huh.

He's in his mid '80s. Susie: Uh huh.

He's not gonna feel pain? He's not gonna feel anything.

He's probably dropped it off in there. Probably dropped it off.

He's taken... What's wrong with him?

HE'S TERRIFIC. Jeff: YOU LIKE BERG?

HE'S VERY UPSET ABOUT IT. OH, COME ON!

Hear hear. Now you're thinking.

Heard what? Jane cancelled our date to the Tonys.

Heidi: Good night, sweetheart. Thanks, good night.

Hell no I can't turn blue. Blacks blush. You blush?

Hell yes. We're not doing anything wrong.

HELLO, BERG. HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

Hello, Donna. So good to see you again. Hi.

Hello, gorgeous. I am so happy.

Hello! Larry: Mr. O'Malley.

Hello? Larry. Lewis.

HELP YOURSELF. Funkhouser: LOOK AT THAT.

Here it comes. You've got it. Crowd: Oh!

Here, take the bowl with you. Oh, thank you.

Herman: It should have been three. It should have been three.

Hey hey hey hey. I know, I know.

Hey honey. Hi baby.

HEY, BEFORE YOU GO. YES?

Hey, buck, catch. Susie: What?!

Hey, buck. Hey, Larry.

Hey, Buckner, you suck. Hey, have a nice day, fellas.

Hey, dinner's up. Larry: Hey.

Hey, funkman. Hi, Marty.

Hey, Hank. Hey Hank, come here for a second.

Hey, Henry, how are you doing, pal? How are you doing, Jeff?

Hey, how are you doing? Oh, hey.

Hey, I have an idea for something. Yeah?

Hey, I'm sorry. Sorry. Susie: What happened?

Hey, it's Terry. How's it going? Oh, hey Terry.

HEY, JOE. LARRY, HOW ARE YOU?

Hey, Larry. I don't know why they had to separate the couples.

Hey, Larry. Tessler.

Hey, Laura. Hey, Larry.

Hey, let's get something to eat. Okay.

Hey, stu. Hi, how are you, stu?

Hey, what are you doing? What are you doing?

HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? LEAVING, LARRY.

Hey, yari. Oh.

Hey, yari. Yari. Keep it going.

Hey! Hey, how are you doing?

Hey! Well well.

Hey! Rosie! Larry David.

Hey. Hello.

Hey. Hey.

HEY. HEY.

Hey. Hey. Hi.

Hey. Hey. What's going on?

Hey. I can't... I really can't be talking to you.

Hey. I thought you were going to New York.

Hey. Let's go.

Hey. So what do you think?

HEY. GOOD TO SEE YOU. HELLO.

Hey. Hello. Welcome.

Hey. How's it going? Hey, Larry, how are you? Nice to see you.

Hi honey. How are you? Hi. Good.

Hi Larry. Nice to meet you.

Hi Rosemary. I'll be right back.

Hi, beautiful. Hi.

Hi, Dale. Hey.

Hi, how are you? Hey!

HI, MARTY. HI, SUSIE.

Hi, nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you. Hi.

Hi. hey.

Hi. Hi, honey. How are you?

Hi. Hi.

Hi. She's the hostess here.

HIRIAM KATZ, HE'S FANTASTIC. HE MUST BE GREAT.

HMM, REALLY? YEAH!

Hmm. Didn't fight in a war.

HOLD IT ONE SECOND. I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT.

Holy shit. Oh my god!

Honestly, it was nothing. I think people need to know about it.

how about 60 bucks? There you go. 60 bucks,

How about that? Fabulous.

HOW ABOUT THAT? ON BUSINESS, HOW GREAT IS THAT?

How about this marm? Okay, thank you.

How about Thursday? Thursday?

How are you doing, Larry? Good. How's your dad, by the way?

How are you? Hi, Heidi. Nice to meet you.

How are you? I'm so excited that you're here.

How are you? Good to see you. Hey.

HOW ARE YOU? THINGS GOING GOOD? GREAT GREAT, YEAH.

How cold were those potatoes, by the way? They were freezing.

How did you hit my car? I backed into it. I'm sorry.

HOW FUN IS THIS? HOW GREAT IS THIS?

How happy are you right now? I'm not gonna have dinner tonight.

How is everybody doing? Susie: Hey. Hi.

How much are you planning on taking off? Maybe half.

How much theater do you see? I saw "Oklahoma."

How stupid was that? A lot of money lost.

How was that? It was good.

How was the game? I made an error in the last inning

How'd you do it? I walked,

How's it a joke? Here's the number. How'd you get that?

HOW'S IT GOING WITH YOU? WELL...

How's it going? Hey.

How's it going? It's great.

How's it going? You know what?

How's Oscar? Not good.

How's the laundry coming along? It's coming along.

Huh uh. And she kissed you back.

HUH UH. WHO?

Huh, interesting. Okay, but it really was great

Huh? balls.

Huh? No matter what.

Huh? Coming along? Yeah.

HUH? WHY? WHY?!

Huh. Have you noticed that?

I agree. So, uh, are you ready to go? I gotta go.

I already paid for it. Even better.

I AM A GENTLEMAN NO, YOU'RE NOT!

I am absolutely okay with it. Although it's just a sneaker.

I am completely dipless. ( Panting )

I am the steinbrenner! Really?

I am the steinbrenner. You're the steinbrenner?

I apologize. Put that shit in.

I approached you, I asked you, you let it sink in... Mr. duckstein.

I can walk. Go go go!

I can't decide. It's lunch!

I can't eat Sushi. How about some Italian? Wanna get some pasta?

I can't even move. Well, speaking of that.

I can't even repeat it... disgusting. Really?

I can't make it. How come?

I can't play. What if I talked to the rabbi?

I can't tell you. No, please tell me.

I cannot serve you any more alcohol. What?

I choose not to use that phrase. Oh, they're battered.

I did a hands in. Please, we don't need a hands in.

I did fine. I did fine. No, that's not fine.

I did get the invitation. Yeah?

I did what I was supposed to do. No no, you bungled the hit.

I didn't even ask you what I was getting. Oh, it's fine.

I didn't even think about it really. God, you're very brave.

I didn't really do anything. Well...

I didn't stop you. You're not acting coachy. You're acting first classy.

I do know what you're saying. You know what I'm saying?

I don't believe you. You don't believe me?

I don't doubt it. Yeah, you wouldn't be with someone who's not.

I DON'T EVEN LIKE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. ( shouting )

I don't get it. Jeff: He is great, but is he that great?

I don't implement. Yeah.

I don't know if it's appropriate for a funeral. It's not.

I don't know what the hell they're doing. I don't know.

I don't know. You know, I talk during intercourse too.

I don't like it. He doesn't care.

I don't need to do better. You didn't do fine.

I DON'T THINK HE'S GONNA GIVE YOU THOSE TICKETS. REALLY?

I don't think I can be in business with you. What?

I don't think she was laughing. Really?

I DON'T THINK SO. I DON'T EITHER.

I don't understand. What, are they gonna be in newspapers soon?

I don't want to mingle. Well, you're gonna have to

I don't want to see that. Okay.

I FELT I HAD TO TELL YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO NOW.

I find it disgusting. It's al fresco.

I gave it to some black guy. You gave it to some black guy?

I get everything. She's so jealous 'cause everybody else

I get it. Yeah.

I got a dismissive bow? Yes.

I got a great look. The woman was quite attractive if I recall.

I GOT A LOT AT STAKE MYSELF. ( sighs )

I got a shit bow. No bow would be better than that bow.

I got an idea. Jeff: Hmm?

I got an idea. What?

I got it. I got it. Okay, thank you.

I got my friend here. He could come along. It's a free lunch.

I GOTTA BE A GOOD GUY. YEAH, YOU WILL LOOK LIKE A GOOD GUY HERE.

I gotta... I'm sorry, I gotta go. See you guys later.

I guess I am, in a way. Yeah. How'd it go?

I guess I shouldn't say that here. What was the argument about?

I guess I was stupid. You don't give away a cabinet.

I guess, yeah. Hmm, she doesn't seem to be too overwhelmed by it.

I had dinner with them. Really?

I have no idea. Do you know what? This is gonna be

I have nothing. ( Both mock crying )

I have noticed, yeah. It's awful.

I have to have a confirmation. This is the confirmation right now.

I have to sit next to some stranger for three hours? Just go do it.

I haven't said a word. We know nothing.

I heard that too. Very good. Didn't you hear that?

I heard, yeah. To go shopping.

I hope so because it cost a lot of money. It was beautiful.

I hope so. Nice meeting you. Take care. Okay, take care.

I i i i... just go. I know.

I just couldn't do it. Oh my god.

I just don't know how to implement it. What have you invented?

I just need a shoulder to rest on for a second. Oh, lie down, rest.

I just need to rest for a second. Oh my god, god forbid.

I just saw my friend... I know a chat and cut when I see it.

I just, you know... Listen, we'll discuss this.

I knew. That's good.

I know it when I see it. I'm sorry.

I know that about you. I once did a "silver spoons" on 48 hours.

I know what you mean. You know what? What?

I know what's going on. What?

I know, I know, I know, I know. Let me ask you a question.

I know. You're throwing for yourselves, I might add.

I LIKE HIM A LOT, YEAH. OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU AND I EVER SPLIT UP,

I like that joint. Okay, I'll see you Friday, 1:00.

I like you. What's not to like?

I love that. She's taking me to cooperstown on Sunday.

I LOVE THOSE. NO.

I love you, Larry. Yeah, I love you too.

I must've overheard it. You're going through my shit!

I need a dessert referee. All right, I'm your guy.

I need a ride. It's an emergency. You want a ride?

I need to get there. It's my cousin. Why?

I own this team. You own 12 t shirts.

I presented who I was. No, it's better she knows who you are.

I really enjoy this food. Yeah, you do.

I said nothing. Susie: Every little thing I do annoy...

I saw like... Hello, tiger.

I separated the couples. Why? What's the point of that?

I should go. Okay. Oh. Okay.

I THINK IT'S WORKING. IT'S DOING THE JOB.

I think the way you express yourself is like a child. That's bullshit.

I THINK THE WHOLE THING IS CRAZY. YOU KNOW WHAT?

I think this has run its course. Huh.

I think this is our year. I think you're looking

I think you are. Well, you're wrong.

I think you're pushing her into it. Susie: Really?

I thought it'd be fun. What are you talking about separating the couples?

I thought there were three. That's it. Now beat it.

I thought you didn't care about her breasts. All right, I lied.

I thought you had plans on Thursday. I'll cancel them.

I thought you were in New York. Just got back...

I thought you were on your way. Yeah, I was supposed to

I told you why I'm late. I have an audition. All right.

I told you. It's a miracle.

I took your shoe right off. No, it's fine.

I trust him completely. I trust him.

I understand that. I understand that. Chubby hubby.

I usually go right in. Somebody was... had got a bad burn

I want the aisle. Keep your voices down.

I want to be in Keegan's club. Okay? Okay, count on it.

I want to talk to this therapist. Let's do it.

I was gonna finish my lunch. Well, that's all right.

I was just being emphatic. The whole Watergate trial,

I was very upset. I know, I see.

I was wrong. Leon: Larry.

I wasn't anywhere near him. What are you talking about?

I will pay for it myself. Let me see if I've got this right.

I will treasure this, Ricky. I love the laugh track on it.

I WILL USE HIM. NAMES PLEASE.

I WILL, I'LL LET YOU KNOW. ...I WILL RETURN THEM IMMEDIATELY.

I won't see you on the front lawn. No, you won't see me. No.

I would agree with you. That poor fuck.

I would never say that. You just told me who it was.

I WOULDN'T MIND KILLING THE MESSENGER. YEAH, I BET.

I... I... It's this Saturday.

I'd like the car. You'd like the car?

I'd like to introduce our neighbor and friend Larry. Hello.

I'll be right back. Rosemary, am I crazy?

I'll call you back. Come on, I've got to pick her up in two hours.

I'll call you to confirm. Awesome. Okay.

I'll circle around. Go mingle.

I'll get it for you. Oh great, thanks.

I'll go see Dr. rivkin. Why are we talking instead of kissing?

I'll keep my eyes peeled for him. I'm gonna go in.

I'LL LET YOU KNOW. I KNOW, IT'S KINDA WEIRD WE'RE GONNA ACTUALLY

I'll meet you outside. I'm gonna just have a little bit more.

I'll pay for a cab. I don't want to take a cab.

I'll remember that for next time. That's a no no.

I'll see you inside. Okay, yeah.

I'll see you inside. Susie: All right.

I'll see you later. That's very funny.

I'll see you later. Bye. Bye.

I'll speak to you soon. Okay.

I'll talk to your mom. Good.

I'll try this shit and see what the fuck happens. All right, let's go.

I'm a little surprised. Why?

I'm a man of integrity. Yeah, I know.

I'm an inventor. You're not an inventor.

I'm coachy. It's just that you're not acting coachy

I'm coachy. No, but you just think you get to walk back here...

I'm doing the best I can. Oh, I can't believe that.

I'm down to four restaurants. Mm hmm.

I'm enjoying it. Eh. It's kinda annoying.

I'M FINE WITH IT. YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE, AFTER THEY GET DIVORCED,

I'm getting a text from a 10 year old. Okay, I can do that.

I'm glad you're not Spanish. Really?

I'm going to New York. You're going to New York?

I'm going. I'm doing it. It's about time.

I'm gonna buy him a bottle of wine. Great move. Why not?

I'm gonna get the tickets. I'll be right back. All right.

I'm gonna give renny a shout right now, set you up. Okay. Okay.

I'm gonna give you both... Sorry about whatever happened.

I'm gonna go mingle. So does he deal with any farm animals...

I'm gonna have some cake. No no, but you can't change it.

I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, Larry. Fine.

I'm gonna keep the chicken. You can't keep the chicken. We said we're gonna split it.

I'm gonna miss you so much. Hello.

I'm Hank. Yeah well, hi. Larry.

I'm hell bent on doing it. ( Phone chimes )

I'm hungry. Well, you can't drink the wine without the prayer.

I'm just gonna have a bite. Oh no no no no no.

I'm just gonna run to the bathroom. Mm hmm.

I'm just saying. You're just saying? You're just annoying.

I'm looking forward to it. Yeah.

I'm looking forward to that. Okay.

I'm making sense. Slightly less stupid.

I'M NO LONGER INTERESTED. WHAT?

I'M NOT CALLING JULIA. YEAH, JUST TELL HER THAT

I'm not doing anything... Take it off.

I'M NOT DOING THIS. HEY, JULES!

I'm not joking around. All right.

I'M NOT SURE. TECHNICALLY.

I'm not taking any more requests. Let me tell you something.

I'M NOT THAT HUNGRY. I THINK I'M GONNA GET THE BUFFET.

I'm open to this shit. Beautiful.

I'm out. Dance for underprivileged kids.

I'm ready to do the job. I'm sure you are.

I'm ready. I'm always ready. Oh really?

I'm really full. You ate a lot.

I'm really sorry about that. Because the dog without the bag... it's incomplete.

I'm sick of your bullshit! Mom, mom. Mom, no.

I'm so happy he's here. It reminds you when to laugh.

I'm so sorry, honest to god. Oh!

I'm so sorry, honey! Larry: Where you going?

I'm so sorry. Hillary!

I'm so sorry. No, Larry, don't.

I'm sorry to hear that. I can't believe I'm seeing you here.

I'M SORRY, BERG. IT'S A SHANDA, LARRY.

I'm sorry, what? Mookie Wilson.

I'm sorry, you know him? Yeah, he lives with me.

I'm sorry. All right.

I'M SORRY. I COULD HAVE HAD THREE WEEKS

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! What?

I'm sure you are. And I have this theory.

I'm terribly sorry. Are you serious? Are you for real?

I'm very confused. ( Applause )

I'm very uncomfortable with that, frankly. I know you are.

I'm with Larry on this. I guess we're drinking.

I've got to go through all these levels. I'm not the kremlin!

I've got to pee. She gets me.

I'VE OFTEN WONDERED WOULD PEOPLE... REALLY?

I've seen some ads on busses, yeah. That's the show.

I've separated the couples. What?

If everybody's bringing that... ah, Ricardo.

If he's having an affair with his wife. Jeff: No way.

If I was gonna do it, you wouldn't even notice. You just did it.

if only by comparison. Yeah, I know. I wanna do it.

If you do that you're a hero. Really?

If you don't mind my saying... Not at all.

Impossible. Ready to go to lunch?

IN A TWIN BED. I DON'T WANT YOU HAVING SEX IN MY BED!

IN THE GROUND. ALL MEN DO.

Inside the car. I'll drive.

Ira: Nice job. They're sweet, right?

Is antoinette there? Hold on a second.

Is he having an affair? ( High pitched ) no!

Is it okay if my wife comes in for a moment? Sure.

Is she a great girl? She's great.

Is she all right? Who cares?

IS THAT GREAT? MY MAN.

Is that possible? Well, yes it is.

IS THAT RIGHT? CAMOUFLAGE, IS THAT THE NEW THING? ...IS CAMOUFLAGE.

Is that so? As they lower the casket.

Is that so? Jesus. Yeah, got me in there.

Is that what this is about? Nothing to do with the I'm sorry.

Is the car outside? Let me show you where it is.

is the pig Parker. A pig Parker?

Isn't it? Totally.

Isn't that good? Yup.

IT COMES OUT OF THE PLASTIC! WAIT, THAT SEEMS WRONG.

It is inappropriate. It's really taking advantage.

It is. You're not supposed to be telling people.

It makes me nervous. Maybe the cat knew I was coming.

It really is. It is selfish.

IT SAYS IT'S ALL YOU CAN EAT. IT'S ALL YOU CAN EAT.

IT STOPPED THE BLEEDING. OKAY.

It was a horseshit throw. No, it was a horseshit catch also.

It was funny. I love this show.

It was mookie Wilson, Buckner! Ooh, mookie Wilson.

It was my idea. Yeah, I did go pick it up.

It was unbelievable. So who is this person?

It was your fault. It was not my fault.

It's a breakup. Yeah, it's a breakup.

It's a chat and cut. No, it's not a chat and cut!

IT'S A CODE. IT'S IN THE BALD CODE. IS IT?

It's a coincidence. Speaking of lessons, I'm so sorry...

It's a different... Margaret: Again, I am going to say

It's a driveway. All right, I'm gonna break the news to him.

It's a free lunch. Yeah, it's an emergency.

IT'S A GOOD DEAL. OKAY, I'M NOT GOING TO WORRY.

It's a great idea. It is, I gotta say.

It's a lock! One hole! Honey, wait! Come back, come back!

It's a lock. Fantastic!

It's a lock. We're gonna win a tournament.

It's a softball game! "It's a softball game"?

It's a sold out show. I did get you a ticket.

IT'S A TAMPON. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

It's a total chat and cut. Jeff: No no no no no no.

It's a whole to do. It's routine.

IT'S AN EXPRESSION THAT PEOPLE USE. WHAT IS THIS THING?

IT'S AN EXPRESSION. THERE'S ANOTHER IT'S AN EXPRESSION?

It's an expression. Who turns fuckin' blue?

It's been like a year he hasn't seen me. A lot, I know.

It's delicious. Everyone brings wine or maybe some nuts.

It's disgusting. My father has dementia, Larry.

It's driving me crazy. Mr. David, is there anything

It's far too cocky a move. Yeah. Yeah.

It's Friday? It's this Friday.

It's gonna be great. When when...

It's good, yeah? How are the potatoes? Ron: Mmm, delicious.

IT'S GREAT FOR ME. THE HOOKUP ALWAYS COMES WITH A PLUS ONE.

IT'S GREAT FOR US. GREAT FOR US?

It's hard, huh? Wow.

It's her mom? Yeah.

It's interesting. You're damn right.

It's Italian bread. Yeah.

It's just a couple of doors down. Seriously?

It's just for recovery. Bullshit, Larry.

it's like a "twilight zone"... hey. Hey, Vance.

It's none of your business. Ah, okay.

It's not bread. That's bread, that's bread.

It's not fair. It's not a chat and cut!

It's not going so great. Why's that?

It's not gonna work. Of course, I understand. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It's not hers! Right.

It's not hers. It's my money. Right. Absolutely.

It's not his fault! He had a burn victim. He's my doctor, why can't...

It's not just me. Got it.

It's not mutually exclusive. It seems a little weird to me.

It's not that important. You should come along and see it tomorrow night.

It's not what it's gonna be. What is it gonna be?

it's not you. I'm not gonna be in this chair, no.

It's nothing personal. I have more to lose. I have more to lose.

It's obviously not... I... I didn't really care about the joke.

It's okay, I insist. It's a $500 scarf.

It's okay. I take it as a compliment. She's not a specimen.

it's over! How about that?! Why don't you go wrap your head in a towel?

It's rabbit food. Oh, is that right?

It's supposed to be hard. Not this hard.

It's the accent. Exactly, yeah.

IT'S THE LAST WEEK. SHE'S GOING FOR THE RECORD THIS YEAR.

IT'S THE SMALL THINGS, LARRY. ( doorbell rings )

It's too good to be true. Yours is *******?

IT'S TRUE. HE TOOK ME FOR A RIDE, THAT'S WHAT HE DID.

It's unlike anything I've ever even tasted. What about this place?

Jane: all right, I've got one. Larry: Okay.

Jane: hello. Larry: I'm here.

Jane. Larry.

Jeez, I'm so sorry. ( Laughing )

Jeff and Larry: Oh! Susie: Oh my god!

Jeff didn't put you up to this? Why are you saying that?

Jeff loves it, don't you? Not as much as I used to.

Jeff was lying? Yeah.

Jeff, hi. Nice to meet you. Hi. Larry.

Jeff: All right, finally. There he is.

Jeff: did you hear about duckstein? Larry: No.

Jeff: Hey. Hey.

Jeff: Hi. Not good.

Jeff: Just wonderful. Thank you.

Jeff: Look out! ( Tires screech )

Jeff: Milk? Huh?

Jeff: Oh, okay okay. ( Gaby chuckles )

Jeff: Oh, stop it. What about when you're eating

Jeff: She gives milk? That's funny too?

Jeff: There we go. This is where I lost my virginity... on this block.

Jeff: What are you doing? Susie: What the fuck?

Jeff: You hit it? I'm afraid so.

Jeff: You're kidding me. Larry: You know what?

Jeff? Yeah?

Jennifer: Oh. Larry: Oh my god.

Jesus Christ, calm down. Fuck you, dog!

Jesus. Well, okay, so...

Judge Carter horn. Oh my god, I love judge horn.

Judge horn, huh? I loved him... loved him.

Judge horn. Your dad's judge horn?

Just a bite. Come on. You know what?

Just a little taste? Nope, you made a mistake.

Just curious. Okay. Just go! Hurry up!

Just get the fuck over here. Stop being an idiot. Shara: Larry.

Just get to the back of line, dude. You've gotta get back.

Just go, okay? This is ridiculous. Ridiculous.

Just go. Unbelievable. It's not fair.

Just like "bip bip bip." You were fantastic.

Just materializes. At very private moments.

Just my gut feeling. You know what it is?

Just stop it. No no. I'm evening it out, that's all.

Just to see. Just to get an answer. Okay.

Just... just park your car between the lines. A farm?

Keegan's club? Keegan's club.

Kind of like that. Like that?

Knock knock knock. Hey, Larry, hello!

Knock knock knock. Hey, Larry, hello!

Know no better. All right, you know what?

Krista: It was Smith, probably. Brent: Hey. Oh, okay.

Krista. Krista Ferguson. Oh, uh, I... yeah.

KYRA O'DONNELL! YEAH.

L.o.l. ( Jeff chuckles )

L'Chaim. l'Chaim.

Labe. Son of nat.

LARRY DAVID. MR. O'DONNELL HERE,

Larry, anything you want. Funkhouser: Get over here.

Larry, can I say something? What?

Larry, come on. Sorry, Nathan.

Larry, come over here. Susie: Larry!

Larry, hi. Duckstein.

Larry, hi. Hi.

Larry, how are you? Hey, hi.

Larry, show him where the food is. Huh? Okay.

Larry, what? Juliet: They're not...

Larry: "JUST DIVORCED." I'M EXCITED I'M SINGLE.

Larry: Ah. Larry.

Larry: Good night. Enjoy your...

Larry: Hey. Hi, honey.

Larry: Huh? Jeff: Wait. Hold on a second here.

Larry: Korean holiday. A Korean holiday?

Larry: Look at this! Jeff: Yeah!

Larry: Me too. Me too. ( Laughing ) oh my.

Larry: No, he did not. Yes, he did.

Larry: NO. I CAN'T HAVE THEM?

Larry: That is ridiculous. What's it like up there? You couldn't breath?

Larry: What? Okay.

Larry: What's he doing here? Jeff: He and his wife came.

LARRY? TAKE CARE.

Larry. How you doing? Hey!

Leon: This shit is fucking amazing. Marty: It's great.

Leon: Wow. Can you believe that?

Let me ask you a question. Go on.

Let me ask you something. Mm hmm.

Let me check. By the way, great game yesterday.

Let me get this straight... There's nothing to get straight.

Let me go give it a shot. Go ahead, give it a shot.

Let me just throw this out. What? No. No.

Let me see the place, man. What roommate?

Let me take a look. All right.

let me tell you. Hi, Larry.

Let's do it. All right.

Let's eat at another place. Jeff?

Let's go in the garage. Yeah, Oscar's bowl.

Let's go in. No no no no no no.

LET'S GO. IT'S JUST A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT.

Let's just go in and sit down. It's a cocky move.

Let's just kind of walk in casually. What?

LET'S TALK ABOUT THANK YOU.

Life is short. How dare she? How dare she?

like going off to war. Absolutely.

LONDON! MAYBE I SHOULD GO, MARTY.

LONDON! OH AH!

Look at me, Larry. Yeah.

Look at me. Really?

Look at that one. Ooh.

LOOK AT THAT STAIN YOU MADE. WELL, WE'LL JUST SAND IT OFF OR SOMETHING.

Look at you. First of all, look at this shit right here.

Look at you. How about that? So not like you.

LOOK OUT! SHE'S SELLING GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.

LOOK WHAT YOU TAUGHT ME. AND THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE TAKING AWAY FROM OUR MARRIAGE.

Look, where are you staying? In New York?

Love you. You too.

Lunch! I forgot all about it.

Make yourself at home and I'll be right back. Okay.

making the commotion at the theater last night. Oh my god.

Man: Are you all right? Oh my god!

Man: Fuck you, Buckner! Hey!

Manny? Manny Manny man... whoa!

Margaret: I think that I'm just gonna say goodbye. Okay.

Margaret: Um, now... The washing machine's fucked.

Mathematics of that is confusing, isn't it? Yeah.

Maybe on some bizarro planet. Mm hmm.

Me too. Where do you want to go?

Meet new people, mingle. I don't want to meet new people.

MIAMI? LONDON!

Mind if I take a bite of this? I do mind.

Mine is so vivacious. Mine's vivacious too.

Mm hmm? I will come back here.

Mm hmm. Good seeing you.

Mm hmm. That's Brian horsch's son,

Mm hmm. Of course. But if that same rat is in the house...

Mm, krispy kreme? Oh yeah yeah.

Mm, the glasses, baby. Amazing.

Mmm, I don't think so. Okay, Thursday.

Mmm. Drinks in the interval.

Mom, I'm gonna go get a glass of water, okay? Am I crazy?

MOTOR SCOOTER? WHEN DID THIS OCCUR? I WAS IN COLLEGE.

Mugger: Don't move! Ricky: Okay okay.

My cab. What? Hey.

My god, Larry. There you go.

Nice catch, bill. Thanks.

Nice full house. Good seats.

Nice party. Oh, it's... oh yeah.

NICE TO MEET YOU. ANNA AND I DID PILATES TOGETHER.

NICE TO MEET YOU. NICE TO MEET YOU.

Nice to meet you. This is amazing that you're here.

No bag? Where's your bag? Well...

No big deal. Made an error. You didn't fix my car

No bow better? Yes.

No good? Not really.

No hard feelings. You know, she did say

NO NEGATIVITY. WHAT, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

No no no. No no no. Huh uh uh.

No no, you can't. You munch and pee?

No no! I was just returning a computer. You're going to jail now.

No one's seen him! What does he think?

No problem. So we're cool with that?

No shit? No shit.

No thanks. Woman: Thanks.

No way, man. You're done!

No way. Oh god. Well, we have to go take care of this now.

No, but "the sting ii," Jackie gleason... pretty good. You saw "the sting ii"?

No, don't ever grab my yarmulke. ( Grunting )

No, he didn't put em up to it. Jeff, did you say something?

No, I can't. We're ready, let's go. We're ready now.

No, I don't. Phenomenal.

No, I i i i... She lights up the room

NO, I WANT YOU TO TALK TO HER. I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO JULIA.

No, I would be. Anyways.

NO, I'M GONNA GO. OKAY, FAIR ENOUGH. OKAY.

No, it's fine. A lot of people don't like it.

No, mm mm. Are you sure?

No, my baseball glove. Susan: Oh, baseball.

No, not that I... not that I noticed. We have things to discuss.

No, of course not. You'll never be able to come here again.

No, really beautiful. I got this fantastic trainer... Terry.

No, she didn't. I didn't even know she knew how to use YouTube.

No, susie! No! Rosemary: Leave him alone!

No, they're real tears. Those are real tears?

No, wait a minute. Larry: You should have some pizza here.

no, you know what? They're doing their best. I have to say...

NO, YOU RAN THAT ASS IN THE GROUND. I DON'T RUN PEOPLE'S ASS

No, you're safe, you're safe. Uh...

No! Your voice just went up.

No? It's not good.

No. do you want some wine?

No. It's named after Keegan horsch.

No. Let me take one bite.

NO. OH, REALLY?

NO. THAT'S WHERE YOU DRAW THE LINE?

No. Yes, he did.

No. No. Why not?

No. Why... why would I bring a hose? Are you hungry?

None of your business, Elaine! ( audience laughs )

not a very good one though. Yeah. Oh no?

Not at all. You get on first.

Not bad. Good.

Not me. Uh, yeah, I'm...

Not Mexican, no. Sushi. Sushi's fantastic. Nice and light.

Not sorry at all. Little bitty bow. No.

Nothing to do with him. I'm just gonna give him the money.

Nothing! I'm the one who named you a social assassin!

Nothing. You've been talking to Donna?

Nothing's going on, just sharks swimming around. Are you getting negative

Occupy this. Yeah. Yeah, I'm an occupier. I'm an occupier.

October, 1986, two outs. Jesus Christ!

odds are not with you, no. Not with me? Really?

OF CANCELING MY ORDER. ( girls clamoring )

Of course you can. Balls are male boobs. What?

Of course, real tears every night. Seriously?

Of course. There you go.

OH COME ON, GIVE HER A BREAK. WE'RE SENDING HER TO YOU FIRST.

Oh dear. Oh, come on.

Oh god. Next time when I say... Ron: I know.

Oh hey, how's it going? Larry!

OH HEY. HI.

OH HO HO. WE ARE HERE FOR OUR MONEY

OH MY GOD, HOW ARE YOU? RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT, THIS IS ANNA.

Oh my god. Hey. I know.

Oh my god. Like a seesaw.

Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god.

Oh my god. Thank you.

Oh my god. What?

Oh my god. Bedbugs? Part of the event is this big,

Oh my goodness. How about that?

Oh my. Oh. Uh...

Oh no, I love broad comedy. Yeah.

OH NO, YOU'RE NOT! A REAL GENTLEMAN...

Oh oh oh. Okay. This morning.

Oh really? Okay?

Oh really? Yes.

Oh stop. I find human contact repulsive.

OH WELL. Girls: HI!

Oh wow, look at that. There you are.

Oh yeah, it's very nice. And then really went with what you got over there.

Oh yeah. Okay. All right?

Oh, did he? Yeah? Listen, if you're in town now,

Oh, did you get lucky. She's going for third, Larry!

Oh, fuck you, Larry. I'm the girl. Shut up.

Oh, get to the bottom of it? I'm definitely gonna tell them what happened.

Oh, here he is. I'm sorry.

Oh, hi. Hello.

Oh, I am so sorry. So on Thursday

Oh, I'm feeling faint. I'm feeling faint, hold on. Are you?

OH, I'M NOT I'M NOT *******. OH!

Oh, I'm so sorry. Sorry, you guys.

Oh, is that so? Check it out, Columbo.

Oh, it is. No no.

Oh, Jesus. Oh my god.

Oh, Keegan's club. Keegan's club, yeah.

Oh, life gets crazy? Yeah.

Oh, Marty. We'll miss you too, Marty.

Oh, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too.

OH, OKAY! HUH?

Oh, okay. Yeah okay.

Oh, really? Yup.

Oh, shut up. He has to announce it.

OH, SORRY ABOUT THAT. A RING STAIN?

Oh, stop it. Well, email me his information.

Oh, terrific. Why are you not with Richard right now?

Oh, thank you. Thank you. What did you just say?

Oh, that ski idea. Yeah, it was unbelievable.

OH, THAT'D BE FUN. WE CAN COMMISERATE,

Oh, that's an excuse? Yes.

Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah.

Oh, that's too bad. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, won't I? I shat where I ate

Oh, yes, I certainly did pick up on that. Yeah?

Oh, you did notice that? Yeah. Are you dating?

Oh, you know what? Go on.

OH, YOU WANT TO GET THE BEDDING AND EVERYTHING? YES.

OH, YOU WERE IN COLLEGE. YEAH.

Oh, you were unbelievable. Hey.

Oh, you wouldn't be interested in me? Fuck no, Larry.

Oh, you're quite welcome. Oh, do you have any cash?

Oh! Good, huh?

Oh! Oh hi.

Oh? I'm just putting it out there.

Oh. basically, man to man,

Oh. I just want to get some chubby hubby.

Oh. Wow. Bedbugs. Just devastating. Had to burn everything.

OI, LARRY, WITH THIS OI! AGAIN! SEE?

OKAY YOU GOT IT?

Okay okay. I know you think I'm kidding, but I'm not.

Okay okay. I'm still gonna research.

Okay, all right. Okay. Good to see you.

Okay, all right. You used this fellow...

OKAY, BERG. LARRY, DON'T WORRY SO MUCH.

Okay, but I was being emphatic. Rivkin?

Okay, don't worry about it. I'm not gonna say a word. All right.

Okay, go ahead. My point is...

Okay, I'll pass it along. All right. Be well. Yeah. Okay.

Okay, I'm counting on you. All right.

Okay, one second. Okay.

Okay, sounds great. I think we can make a lot of money with it too.

Okay, sure. I do that for you. All right?

Okay, thank you. Okay? You're welcome.

Okay, then give me a bow. I don't know if I'm bow sorry.

Okay, want to get some lunch? Starving.

Okay, well... Thanks for coming.

Okay, what do ladies have? Gloves.

OKAY, YEAH. THIS IS WHAT I DO.

Okay? Is she the type of woman

Okay? yeah, Wikipedia.

Okay. ( car approaches )

Okay. All right? Can't wait.

Okay. Go.

Okay. I need to look you over

OKAY. I THINK YOU'RE CROSSING BOUNDARIES

Okay. I'll take care of that.

Okay. If you want to call Sully...

Okay. Promise.

Okay. that looked good.

OKAY. WHICH IS GOOD NEWS.

Okay. You got two minutes?

OKAY. YOUR BALD LAWYER SAYS TECHNICALLY YES.

okay. Yeah, sure. Please. Excellent.

ONE " WHAT DO YOU MEAN "PLASTIC APPLICATOR"?

One second, one second, one second. Larry.

Ooh! exactly.

Ooh! Susie: Oh my gosh!

Oooh, you heard it right? Yeah.

Oooh. I need a...

Open up. What's the big deal? It's a fire.

Open up. Open up. All right. Hey hey.

Or eat where I shat. I've never seen it done.

Otherwise you get stuck. I did present who I really was...

Our food's sitting up there. Our food's sitting up there?

out of your mind? What are you talking about?

Over my dead body. I'm sure that wouldn't bother them.

People make mistakes. Every day?

People were sweating on me. Hmm.

People would like to see that. Oh, okay.

Perfection, right? Meanwhile I'm having dinner with the two of them.

picked it up, thrown it three place. Stupid ass!

Pinkberry makes no sense. Well, why?

Pinkberry, come on. You drive a red Volvo?

Pinkberry, right back. No lunch. Who the fuck needs a lunch?

Please don't hit me. I... I just... it was...

Please, somebody help me. ( Crowd murmuring )

Please. Bubblegum.

Please. You sure?

Poor misunderstood first class. Oh, poor little coachy girl.

PRETTY GOOD. Susie: ANNA!

Problem? "fuck me, Jew bastard"?

Proud **** wear yarmulkes. Yeah. Be proud here in the parking lot.

PUSH IT? PUSH IT. YOU'LL SEE A COTTON

PUT CANS ON YOUR CAR, BEEP YOUR HORN. "JUST DIVORCED."

Put this shit on my fuckin' tab. On your tab?

Put this shit on my fuckin' tab. On your tab?

REALLY? ...HIS ENTIRE FALL COLLECTION...

Really? absolutely.

REALLY? AND IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU!

Really? because I felt it. My body felt it, okay?

Really? I don't know if you want me

Really? I love these so much, yes.

Really? I was an executive secretary for 30 years.

Really? I was lucky

Really? In fact, I was able to overhear

Really? Makes me feel so good.

Really? really.

Really? The food here is great.

Really? What the heck's...

Really? Wow.

Really? Yeah, I...

REALLY? YEAH, WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?

Really? yeah.

Really? yeah.

Really? yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Really? yeah.

REALLY? YES.

Really? yes.

Really? yes. Shrink it.

Really? You worry too much.

Really? Does it? It ruins it. Yeah.

Recovering alcoholic. All right, recovering.

Red or white? I don't care.

Relax. Ron: Take it.

Renny harlin's place. Oh shit.

Ricky: Looks amazing. Susie: Doesn't it?

Right across the street, yeah. Yeah, it's based on the Hudson brothers' movie.

right now. You don't need no implementer. Go.

Right, and then I have to go like that. Yeah yeah.

Right, yeah. But still,

Right, yes. Fantastic.

Right? Yes! Ooh!

Right? You know, if he knew

Right. But renny said... look,

Right. People want to see those.

Right. Well, here you have somebody

Right. I'm very sensitive. Yeah yeah, I know.

Right. You know what? Do you want to apologize to my dog?

Ron, what did I say when we drove into the driveway? I know.

Ron: Absolute, bud. No doubt. Ahh.

Ron: What does it matter? I hear it's the best chicken ever.

Ron's not gonna play on this team... Jeff: Not a chance.

Roommate was driving me crazy and shit. The who?

Running with that thing? And you know what's great about it?

Safe house? Yes.

Sammi? Hi. Oh hey, Larry.

Saturday? Yeah.

See what I'm saying? Too bad I don't have a daughter.

See ya. Thanks. Yeah.

See you tonight. Yeah, okay.

See you, guys. Okay okay.

See you... see you, tessler. All right.

See, I have that effect. I get it, yes.

See? Right? That was nice.

Separate separate. Excuse me.

Shall I lose you? ( Arguing continues )

Shalom, l.D. ( Shara moaning )

Shara: Don't listen to them! Don't be a dick.

Shara. Call me.

She auditioned, Larry. She auditioned?

She called me Mr. softee. She did?

SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO TRAVEL. I DON'T GO ON BUSINESS TRIPS WITH HIM.

She gave it to me. She gave it to you?

She gives to charity? That's right.

She lost a lot. About 60, 65 lbs.

She might. No, she's going out with him again.

SHE WAS CLOSE. WE'RE IN, RIGHT, JEFF?

She was upset? Yes.

She wasn't here? No.

She's a tough customer. Yes she... you noticed that?

She's funny... We'll all be avoiding you.

She's got, like, empathetic nausea... Exactly.

She's hilarious. That's funny.

She's *******. No kidding.

She's just staying with me for a couple of weeks. Hello.

She's my girlfriend, for Christ's sakes. Yeah, you're right.

She's smart too. I'm sure she's very intelligent.

Shit bow? Shit bow.

Shit bow. Shit bow.

Shit happens, Larry. "Shit happens"?

Show me what you've got! This reminds me of something Theodor herzl once said.

SHOW WAS FANTASTIC. WHAT WAS I THINKING? WHY WOULD I COME HERE?

Shut up! Okay, don't hit me in the face though.

Shut up! Sir, get out of my face and sit.

Shut up. You did not. Yes, Susan fleschner, swear to god.

SIGN THE PAPERS, RIGHT? YEAH, WE'RE GONNA SIGN THOSE PAPERS.

Signed. Signed.

Sit in the theater, yeah. That's $3,000.

So anyway... Oh, where's the house?

So did I. You're kidding.

So how does that... You're always in love.

So I hope it was good for that price. It was great. Really great.

So if you don't mind, I'll make an appointment... thanks, doc, I don't think so.

So just get out. I kind of like that, actually.

So moist. Yeah.

So susie thinks they're having an affair? Yes.

So the dog could have a big chocolate bar? Dogs have last meals?

So we postponed the event. That's terrible.

So what are we eating? Japanese.

So what are we gonna do? I don't know.

So where'd you go last night? I had Sushi at yankee stadium,

So yeah. Oh.

So you bungled the hit. Well, I didn't bungle it.

So you can. And look, you just did it again.

So you still got the $60. Yeah.

So you think that my wife has a big mouth? ( Deeply ) yes!

So... Who's that one?

Softball. Okay, thanks.

Sold out? Yeah.

Son of nat. My friends call me Larry.

Sorry to interrupt. Britney, this is Larry. Larry... Britney.

sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. Mrs. Cole,

Sorry. Gentlemen.

Sorry. Mm hmm, mm hmm.

Sorry. Who did you think I was?

sort of the same thing for me. All right, good luck.

Sounds exciting. It's a very exciting project.

ST.... CHRISTOPHER'S. ST. CHRISTOPHER'S, THAT'S CORRECT.

Stay to your right. Okay.

Stop it. Just take it off. You don't need to be proud in there.

Stop it. No, we're even. Really?

Stupid minyan? My uncle died. Larry: How about that?

Sully, yeah. Sully sullenberger.

Superficial? No depth.

Sure, go ahead. Okay.

Sure, yeah. I totally forgot I have to get up

Sure, yeah. Hi. Good to see you.

Sure, yes. That's a thank you bow.

Sure. How did you...

Sure. Thanks.

Susan fleschner? Yeah, right in that building.

Sushi at yankee stadium? I know.

Susie and Jeff: Wow. Unbelievable.

Susie: Delish. I'd say the potatoes are a little cold.

Susie: Exactly. I don't want to prolong this. Not me. Come on.

Susie: Jeff and Larry went... Jeff: Larry, I don't have a hose.

Susie: That's true. Hey, do you want to come?

Susie: You really see something? Yeah.

Susie! Philandering

Suz, just give it. Let me just throw it out.

TAGALONGS. YEAH.

TAKE A CRAB LEG. ABSOLUTELY. ARE YOU SURE?

TAKE CARE, EVERYBODY. NICE TO SEE YOU.

Take care. Okay.

Take care. You too. Bye, Larry.

Take it easy. Here. Listen, I need a ride.

Take it off. Take it off. Come on.

TAKE SOME SHRIMP TOO. I'LL TAKE TWO SHRIMP. THERE WE GO.

Tessler, you're something. You're a talented guy. Yeah. Oh thanks.

Tessler's out there. You're supposed to be in New York.

Tet. Tet. Oh, it had to be today of all days.

THAN THE PIE. YEAH, I KNOW, BUT IT'S

Thank you for a meaningful evening. Cheers. Thank you.

Thank you for your trust. You're welcome.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. I THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.

Thank you so much. We really appreciate it. You're very welcome.

Thank you very much. A pleasure.

thank you very much. Bye.

Thank you, Eddie. ( All laugh )

Thank you, Larry. I'm very very pleased.

Thank you, Marty. You're welcome.

Thank you, thank you. Hi Henry.

Thank you, thank you. Oh yeah, okay.

Thank you, thank you. Okay, guys. It's so good.

Thank you. ( Applauding )

Thank you. All right.

Thank you. Fantastic.

Thank you. I'm very... I'm really excited about it.

Thank you. It wouldn't have happened if I didn't go to the show.

Thank you. Pfft.

Thank you. Right right right.

Thank you. Susie: What happened?

THANK YOU. TAKE THREE. YOU WANT THREE?

THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Thank you. What do you know?

Thank you. You know, Wanda's place in L.A. is haunted.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Thank you. I appreciate it. Pass it on. Yeah. Yeah. I will.

Thank you. Um... Okay, all right.

Thank you. Yes, I'm serious. Can you believe this?

Thanks for being here. Yeah.

Thanks for coming in, Larry. Pleasure.

Thanks for having us, man. You guys have everything you need?

Thanks so much for coming. A little gift.

Thanks, dog. I can't believe you just gave away a cabinet.

Thanks. Very nice to meet you. Yes, same.

That I am. Rosemary.

that I've taken? Yes yes.

THAT IS BEAUTIFUL. I TOLD YOU THE BUFFET, MAN.

That is Dale. She's one of our members. Dale?

That is great. Give me a little round of applause if you want to.

That is incredible. Isn't that a beautiful gesture?

That is really good. Is there another spoon in the bag?

That is... huh? Nothing more fun than that.

That is... oh my god. Can I honestly say

That looks delicious. Yeah. You don't mind?

That looks good, Jeff. How do you want to work this?

that makes you appreciate being alone. L.O.L.

THAT SHOULDN'T BE CROSSED. OKAY.

that there's not a lot of pinkberrys near prisons. There's plenty of pinkberrys.

That things aren't great right now? I am telling you the truth.

That was a nine out of 10? A nine?

That was good. Gaby: How could you not? It's so good.

That was you? That was me. I jumped on him.

that we've run into each other before. The supermarket.

that you weren't allowed to do that. Thank you.

That'd be fun. I guess.

That's a good joke. I'm serious. Yeah.

That's a long time for sorries. I don't think so.

That's a tough decision for me. ( Chuckles )

That's all I was doing. Well, don't.

THAT'S ALL YOU NEED? YEAH. WHEN THERE ARE WOMEN IN THIS BEDROOM,

That's an invention. If you implement it.

THAT'S AWESOME. HUH? NOT BAD, RIGHT?

That's basically it. ( Phone ringing )

That's bullshit. No, my two bites were the same as your one.

That's completely unethical. Honestly, Larry, this is why he's a good manager.

That's for Oscar. Come on, one bite.

That's funny. Stella: No.

That's good. Fantastic.

That's her. That's her. That's her?

That's him. Okay, he's going down the street over there.

That's hot. It's a wonderful quality.

That's it? That's it.

That's it? Two? Yeah.

That's it. All right.

That's it. Since when?

That's just shoddy. I really give a shit

That's kind of odd, isn't it? No, not when it's a gift.

That's lovely. I'm happy for you I really am.

That's my cab. Where?

That's my new Lexus. I know. I'll pay for it.

That's not my fault. It is. Your performance wasn't good enough.

That's part of the process. Fish and chicken.

That's really not your concern. I've never heard of that.

That's right. I'm shitting where I eat. Yeah.

That's so cute. That's adorable. Yeah.

THAT'S SO RIDICULOUS. SO GO APOLOGIZE.

That's something, isn't it? What are you here for?

That's sort of how I do it. Uh huh.

That's terrible. Thank you for understanding.

That's the point. Everybody brings that. You bring bread.

That's the test. Yeah, sure. Turn down.

That's totally unacceptable. That's unacceptable.

That's unbelievable. I know.

That's what a marriage is. "L.O.L." Was the final straw.

That's what he told me right to my face. Nonsense. That's a lie.

That's what people do when they're lying. Oh, stop it!

That's where we're headed. Man: Hey.

That's why she's out here. Oh, stop it. What are you doing here?

That's... ( laughing ) what?

That's... Look, I don't care about this.

The air fucking was sensational. You liked that?

THE BROWN CRUMBLY STUFF. THE DELICIOUS BROWN CRUMBLY STUFF.

The chutzpah, man. Do you want me to warm them up for you?

the cubs, the Red Sox. Anybody else? Nice to meet you.

The first guy? The first guy.

THE FISH CHOWDER'S YUMMY. LARRY!

The fucking roommate at the house in California. Larry: What?

THE GIRL WAS HAVING HER PERIOD IN MY HOUSE. IT'S NOT MY ISSUE, LARRY!

The guy asked me, but I have to go. Um, yeah sure, okay.

the hotel... krendle. Better. Better. Better.

The music from the Mr. softee truck? Yes.

The perfect circle. The perfect circle, come on. Compass.

The roommate all in my shit. Roommate?

The seat is still rattling. Can I sit in it?

the shoulder feels good, I swear. Great.

the ski's, like, really long, right? Yeah.

The Tonys? As my date

the way it's supposed to be. Hey, here's an idea.

The yarmulke. Yeah.

then that's what he should have. Coconut.

THEN WE'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE. OH, THAT'S VERY INTERESTING.

Then you got that to follow. ( Mumbles )

There it is. You see? It's one day.

There was when I parked, okay? Okay, great.

There you go. Because if we have too good a time here...

There you go. Okay, yeah.

There you go. Thanks.

THERE YOU GO. YOU LOVING THAT?

There's a fine line there. Dementia has nothing to do with racism.

There's a level, okay? Larry: A level?

THERE'S A TUBE, RIGHT? YES.

THERE'S AN OUTER TUBE AND AN INNER TUBE. INNER TUBE?

THERE'S NO PLUS ONE HERE. I GET HOOKED UP,

THERE'S NO PLUS ONE. THERE'S ALWAYS A PLUS ONE.

There's no question about it. Uh huh?

These things are dangerous. Guess what:

They can't help themselves. You're damn right.

They don't take everybody? No, you have to audition.

They have to do everything? Half the population isn't enough for them?

They move right in. I looked at her and I thought hyphen name.

They want everybody? They're so selfish? I can't believe it.

They were closed? They were closed.

They worked. See, what did I tell you? You're fucking right.

They're not cold. What? What's the big deal?

This fuckin' thing is unbelievable! All right, okay.

This is a plan. You're like some kind of government bureaucracy.

This is about the human spirit. Yeah.

This is amazing. It looks really really good.

This is giving me the creeps. Larry: This is crazy. I know.

THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT FOR US, MAN. I KNOW.

This is great. Thank you.

This is it. Okay, one more. Okay, one... one each more.

This is Larry David. Hello, boss Larry there.

THIS IS LARRY DAVID. OH, HI. I'M KYRA, JOE'S DAUGHTER.

This is nice. Thank you.

This is not fair. What's the matter?

This is really bad. You can take your check. Are you nuts?

This is the remnant plate. Hello, boys.

This is where they live? They live around the corner.

This shit on your head. Are you kidding me?

This woman blew off the Tonys... Blew off the Tonys.

THOSE THINGS. YES.

Three and a half? Yeah.

three legged race, sack race kind of thing. Oh, three legged race?

Throw the baby! I can't! No!

Time is of the essence! God. Come on.

to ask you a bunch of personal questions. Ask me anything you want.

to come to. Oh yeah.

to me and Rosie O'Donnell. Oooh!

TO PERPETUATE THAT, DID YOU? WELL, NO, I MEAN

TO SEE HOW LONG YOUR OKAY, UM... YEAH.

To take you to cooperstown? To take me to cooperstown.

to telling her the other night. You know what you are?

Tomorrow? mmm.

Tonys are a grand slam. Fuck the Tonys.

tournament over. Done. No golf.

Uh huh. And I had to leave.

Uh huh. Yeah, no, it's all right.

Uh, hey. Hey, lar.

Uh, I'll take that. I'll take that. What is it?

UH, NO. OH OKAY, STILL,

Uh, you're a Jew. Eh.

UM, DO YOU LIKE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES? I FIND THEM ABHORRENT.

UM, NO. COME ON.

Umm, Jerry and I are working on a new... oh. Oh, excellent.

Unbelievable. cheers.

UNBELIEVABLE. I DO APPRECIATE YOU

Until that happens, you're an idiot. Hey, let me ask you something.

Up what? What are you...? I was here first.

Used to be married to geena Davis. Yeah.

Very clever. Yeah, isn't it so cool? He is so talented.

Very special for you, okay? Okay. Are we good?

Wait a minute. A ski that you screw on? A ski, yes yes.

WAIT, WHAT? ...AND PUSH THAT TUBE FORWARD.

Want some? No, I'm good, thanks.

Watch this shit. ( Crowd cheering )

We are playing so great. I'm having a blast.

We didn't do one. It's a very funny show.

We do. A lot of married couples don't do that.

We go after the movies all the time. They... I'm telling ya...

We got bats and balls, right? Right.

We have our different areas. I am so sorry that they did that.

WE HAVE THE SAME DIVORCE LAWYER. OH YES!

We'll do contest. All right, we'll look it up.

We'll get it checked out. Thank you very much.

We'll go out to dinner. Cool, I like to eat.

We'll just see what happens. Game on, Larry David.

We'll see you later. All right, you mingle.

We'll think about it. Yeah yeah, we're gonna think about it.

We'll try this shit, Larry. It's a wager. You're open to it?

We're beloved. I mean, usually somebody else gives you

We're both in New York. Yeah, we're both in New York.

We're easy in New York. Jeez, this is unbelievable.

We're going out to lunch now. You're not going to lunch.

We're gonna go eat without you. Good. Who needs you?

We're moving. Yeah!

We've got one hole left! Ron: Fuck this game!

Welcome, bill Buckner. Baseball player, right?

Well, guess what, big dog. What?

Well, I did, but I'm bringing it back. Yeah, right.

Well, I suppose if you took a survey... why would you ever do that?

Well, it is very troubling. Yes.

Well, it's an idea. It's an idea. Yeah.

WELL, IT'S NO BIG DEAL. YOU'RE RIGHT.

Well, just tell her to stop saying it. I can't tell her that.

Well, um... Huh?

WELL, UM... I'M TALKING TO YOU?

Well, where is she? She told me that her father was dying

WHAT A GREAT IDEA. GOD DAMN RIGHT.

What a jerk. I only regret I can't ruin your life before you leave.

What a surprise. Total surprise. Total surprise.

What about the hall of fame? You're not getting in.

What an apartment. What a beautiful space. Jeff: Oh, beautiful.

What are you confused about? Last night's very regimented.

What are you doing? ( All shouting )

What are you doing? ( Mumbles )

What are you doing? I don't need to do that.

What are you doing? I want the aisle.

What are you doing? I'm looking for Lewis.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'M PRACTICING A TIC I'M WORKING ON.

What are you doing? What are you doing here?

What are you going to get? Fuckin' fruit chews.

WHAT ARE YOU SO GLUM ABOUT? IT'S JUST THAT EVERYBODY'S

What are you talking about? I couldn't help

What are you talking about? This is my wife.

What are you talking about? This motherfucker in the glass tube.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU'LL SEE A COTTON PIECE COME OUT.

What are you talking about? It was a small taste. No, it was about...

WHAT ARE YOU, BY THE WAY? I'M SWEDISH.

What are you...? Taxi!

What can you do? What is it with this guy?

WHAT DID I DO? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

What did they say? They said that things aren't

What did you learn? I'd rather keep it to myself.

What did you say? Cohn? Mmm.

WHAT DO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO WAIT A SECOND.

What do I do? Yeah, whichever you want.

What do you mean, bullshit? I'm driving! Stop!

What do you mean? I mean, if you were gonna laugh out loud,

What do you mean? Ilene: It's just chicken.

What do you say? I'm happy to be the male representative.

What do you think about that? If by some chance

What do you think? Beautiful girl.

What do you think? Hey, lar. I don't know. What do you think?

What does that mean? Yeah.

What for? I'm fuckin' hungry waiting around

What happened? It was right in your hands. That was a horseshit throw.

What if he hangs on for, like, six months? That's the problem!

what if I brought a roach in? Listen, if you brought a roach in

What is that? I'm sorry, I've shattered your bread.

What makes you say that? We heard.

WHAT THE FUCK? LIGHTLY?

What the fuck? Your vagina is showing.

What the hell am I gonna do? I don't know.

What the hell did you do? Oh my god.

What the hell is that? Oh, I gets mine, Larry.

What what what? What's happening with my car?

What would bring you... Him.

What, are you crazy? Taxi!

What, are you making fun of me now? Yes. Yes, I am.

What, seriously? Really?

What, you upstream me? Everybody upstreams, you idiot.

What? forget about the art.

What? Have you heard?

WHAT? HE LOST IT IN THE DIVORCE

What? I am out of here.

What? I think Lewis has lost his mind.

WHAT? MARTIN NORTON FUNKHOUSER.

What? mine too.

What? Sammi's here, okay?

What? Thank you.

What? The yarmulke.

What? He's coming over here? Larry's coming over.

What? is he okay? Yeah.

What? No, I'm... I'm... Oh so, seriously,

What? No. Why'd you throw it to him?

What? So what? That means you're lying.

What? solo? Go fucking solo.

What? This was "one more." No, the last one.

What? What are you talking about? ( Sighs )

What? What? The... the hose? I feel so horrible, Vance.

WHAT? YOU GOT THE HOUSE? WE SHOULD GO.

What? You're kidding. No, I'm not kidding.

What's a minyan? A minyan... when a ******* person dies

WHAT'S EVERYBODY GETTING FOR LUNCH? FISH CHOWDER.

What's going on with Jennifer, man? I'm seeing her tonight.

What's going on? We're rerouting traffic for a protest rally...

What's half of double d? B+? No, b .

What's it doing there? Well, a disgruntled woman

What's she like? She's dumb.

WHAT'S THE BIG FUCKING DEAL? I'M GONNA GO OVER THERE AND TALK TO HIM.

What's this about? None of your business.

What's up, Larry? Got a date with Jane.

What's up? Good to see you. Hi.

WHAT'S WITH YOU? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT'S WITH ME?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH BERG? HE'S NOT A JEW.

What's wrong with the smiley face? I feel like

What's your name? Labe.

Whatever he says goes. That's it.

Whatever you say, darling. We're going.

when are you thinking about doing it? Not really sure.

When? When are they coming back? I don't know, Larry.

Where are you gonna stay in New York? Yeah. Yeah, a a a hotel,

Where are you? Divino's, but we're gonna go someplace else for dessert.

Where did he come from? Scared the shit out of me.

Where do I buy that? Like I said, I need the implementer.

Where do you get that from? The waiter.

Who could fuck her up? I know.

who did it instead. Oh, your father.

Who did you give it to? I don't know.

who else was there, Larry? I took over for a one armed man.

Who's that dude, man? Well, I mean it's not a big deal.

Who's your fav? Mookie Wilson?

Whoa whoa whoa! Larry. ( Jeff laughs )

Why are you going to the vet's? Oscar's really sick?

Why are you saying that? She knew.

Why are you saying this to me? What are you talking about?

Why didn't you fly? I don't fly, baby.

Why didn't you tell me? I got to tell you when I'm out of pills?

Why do you have to blab about my personal life? What do you mean?

WHY DON'T YOU GET A DIVORCE? I'M TOO LAZY.

Why don't you guys do me a favor, all right? Yeah.

Why is it disgusting? Disgusting? Fuckin'... that's a harsh word.

Why not just laugh? I am laughing.

Why not? There's no pinkberrys near prisons.

Why not? Well, we really don't see each other in L.A.

Why would... why? I didn't stop you from using that bathroom.

WHY, WHAT DID I DO? YOU'RE TEACHING HIS DAUGHTER HOW TO PUT IN A TAMPON?

Why? I challenged myself to just use mirrors

Why? I just saw his girlfriend's tits, that's why.

Why? 'Cause he's here? Right? I know. Yeah yeah.

With a bi sexual. No.

With all due respect. This is about life and death and war.

WITH THAT PRONUNCIATION? MACHER.

Without poop on it. Exactly.

Worry about the game. We don't need to worry about this game.

WOULD GIVE US THE MONEY. ...WOULD GIVE US THE MONEY, YEAH.

Would you like to stay for lunch? No no.

Would you please? Okay, all right.

Wow, man. I'll tell you what.

Wow, that was great, huh? That was really good. Thank you.

WOW, THAT'S FUN. ARE YOU GOING?

Wow. Huh?

Wow. I'm sorry.

Wow. you could run marathon and no spill it.

Wow. Oh, is that generous. Huh huh?

Y yeah. Huh.

Yeah yeah yeah, I'll go get 'em. Larry: Okay.

Yeah yeah yeah. Hard boiled egg in a spoon. Oh, what's...

Yeah yeah? Yes.

Yeah, a bow is a bow. No, this is not a bow.

Yeah, a lot of that. I had the same thing in my neck.

YEAH, BUT IT'S MY FAVORITE PART. SO LET'S SWITCH IT.

YEAH, COME ON. I'M NOT DOING THAT.

Yeah, he lives here, in the back bedroom there. Oh, wow.

Yeah, he was a great dog. A great dog. He had such a good life.

Yeah, he's been... Oh, fine. Okay.

YEAH, HE'S GOOD. BY THE WAY, WOULD YOU BE...

Yeah, hi. You remember my wife ilene, right?

Yeah, I don't think I am. You know what?

Yeah, I hugged you. I know, but still,

Yeah, I know. It's crazy. We'll go right now.

YEAH, I LIKE IT TOO. EVERYTHING I DID IN THIS HOUSE, MAN, IS A MEMORY TO ME.

Yeah, I made a trade. Well, I'm glad you did.

Yeah, I... I don't know what you're saying. Yeah.

YEAH, I'LL JUST KEEP GOING LIKE THIS. YOU MAKE UP A TIC

Yeah, it's great to see you. Yeah? Hi. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Yeah, it's okay. It'll work out. All right, well then,

Yeah, mookie's his favorite player. Yeah. '86 mets.

Yeah, not... I don't know. You don't want Mexican?

Yeah, okay. Nice. See ya.

Yeah, she is. So you've been talking to Donna.

Yeah, sure. I really really appreciate it.

Yeah, that would be so awkward. That would be awkward.

Yeah, that's it. I like it.

Yeah, that's no good. What's not gonna work?

Yeah, they should. Yeah, they should. Ilene: Exactly.

Yeah, today is tet. It's tet. Tet day.

Yeah, um... You look like blofeld.

Yeah, very much so. Really?

Yeah, we're all good. I'm gonna mingle a little bit.

Yeah, what's wrong with that? You're way outside the line.

YEAH, YEAH YEAH. THE CINNAMON.

Yeah, you can sit in it. It's fine. Whatever. It's just a car.

Yeah, you got that kind of a relationship? Yes, we do.

YEAH, YOU LIKE YOU WANT THAT, RIGHT? YEAH, BUT

Yeah, you've got it. It's a deal. Thank you so much.

Yeah, you've got one ball. I've got one solid ball.

Yeah! well, get it in!

YEAH? ...I STARTED TO REALIZE, "WAIT A MINUTE.

Yeah? Balls?

Yeah? Yeah, there's no confirmation.

Yeah? Yeah.

YEAH. ( doorbell rings )

Yeah. ( knocks )

Yeah. ( laughs )

Yeah. ( laughter )

Yeah. can I tell you something?

Yeah. Do you love it?

Yeah. Herman here is from Boston.

Yeah. Huh.

Yeah. I tell her to stop saying "I.O.L."...

Yeah. I'd like my championship back.

Yeah. It's like a magic trick. It's sleight of hand.

Yeah. It's very interesting, though,

Yeah. Larry: Seems a bit high.

Yeah. Never heard of somebody

Yeah. oh oh.

Yeah. Okay well, he owes me $500.

Yeah. okay.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. See you, man.

Yeah. Susie: Oh my god!

Yeah. Thank you for dinner.

Yeah. Well, that's not so easy.

Yeah. Well, what the fuck?

Yeah. What'd mookie do?

Yeah. Yeah yeah.

Yeah. yeah.

Yeah. So where is it? You didn't get that back?

Yeah. This is susie. Hi. Come on in.

Yeah. what? I thought it held only four people.

Yeah. Yeah, I will. I will. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You see? I feel a little manipulated.

Yes yes, I know. Larry, this is my wife. And you're accusing her.

Yes yes! It's very exciting.

YES, I AM A GENTLEMAN. YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT!

Yes, I am. As compared to what?

Yes, I can. Okay. Okay?

Yes, I did. Thank you, my friend.

Yes, I get it. Getting her shit off.

Yes, I got it. This view is awesome. Unbelievable.

YES, IT IS. OH, I DO NEED TO COME BY AND PICK UP SOME STUFF.

Yes, it would. Yes. Yeah. Fine. Okay. Fine.

Yes, it's annoying. Gone. And you tear up the bill.

Yes, Monday. Monday? Who goes out on Monday?

Yes, sure. Can you see over s.U.V.S?

Yes, they went to get the pinkberry. Did you bring a hose?

YES, YEAH, I'M DOING IT. NO!

YES, YEAH. IT'S NOT THIS LARRY ON THE MOTOR SCOOTER.

Yes, you said that. Yeah.

Yes? but he only went down a few degrees.

Yes. for you, here we go.

YES. HI, EVERYBODY. I DIDN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT.

Yes. No, it's all her desire.

Yes. Oh my god.

YES. OH, WE SHOULD TELL THEM.

YES. OKAY, I'M GLAD YOU'RE TAKING SOMETHING WITH YOU.

Yes. same feeling I had. You know that?

Yes. So you're calling me a pig?

Yes. There's Hank.

Yes. Wow.

Yes. Oh yes, you would. No no no, he's the guy who does this.

Yes. Yes. You were playing strip poker with her.

yet he mouths. Like a ventriloquist without a puppet.

Yo, she's something else, man. Isn't she?

You all know... I mean these kids... ( speaks softly )

YOU ALREADY ORDERED THEM. REALLY?

YOU AND ME! WOW.

You bucknered me. I'm sorry.

You came to see my show? Yes, I enjoyed the presentation.

You can bow for thank you. You can bow for thank you?

You can finish in my office. Okay.

You can keep it. Turns out I didn't need it either.

You can rip the labels off. Don't touch the fucking labels!

you can tell Sully, okay? You're too modest.

You can't go there? Med cafe... out.

You circumcised fuck. Oh! Oh!

YOU COULD CHARGE ME FOR THE PILLOWS? YES, ISN'T THAT RIGHT?

You could say more. I could?

You deserve that. That's kind of tepid.

You did not. You're lying. Yeah, right in that building over there.

You didn't fail him. At the vet's I wanted to give him his last meal.

You didn't? No, not when it's a gift.

You do pretty well, don't you? Thank you, Larry. I'm a doctor.

You do? Yes.

You don't know everything, do you? Well, no.

YOU DON'T LIKE THE BEDDING. I LIKE THE BEDDING.

You don't remember me? No.

You don't seem that old. Well...

You don't shit where you eat. This is your favorite restaurant.

You don't want more people telling you what to do. Yeah, that's what it is.

You ever ice skate? No.

You felt humiliated as a result of this... I'm not comfortable with it.

you felt humiliated... What the hell then, right?

You fired antoinette? No, that's her mother.

You follow me, Larry? Look, in baseball the tie goes to the runner.

You follow? Yes.

You fucking idiot. What?

You get free drinks. You get a hot towel. No no.

YOU GET HOOKED UP ALL THE TIME. YOU'VE NEVER GOTTEN A HOOKUP!

You get it? She was coming downstairs.

You got it all wrong, okay? Oh, I'm sure that I do.

You had Sushi last night? Yeah.

you had to walk into mine. ( Both laugh )

YOU HAVE A LOT OF ROOM UNDER HERE. YEAH, IT'S NICE.

You have breast vision? Yes.

YOU HAVE TICKET? NO, BUT HE ASKED ME IF I WAS INTERESTED

You haven't missed a fairway. Hey, I'm tired of asking.

You just even it out. What's the big deal?

You just took two bites! Bullshit.

You know I'm depending on it. You got to go solo, man.

You know judge horn from TV? Oh yeah.

You know renny harlin? Director? Oh sure, the director.

you know that pen you loaned me? Yeah.

YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? YES.

you know that? Jeff: What?

You know what I did? I dropped the ball. Okay.

You know what I'm saying? I do.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

You know what? What?

You know what? What?

You know what? I actually did. Really?

You know what? I don't think I want that salad. All right.

You know what? I've got it. Okay, what?

You know who his dad is, right? No.

YOU KNOW YOUR ATTORNEY? ANDREW BERG!

You know your bow rules? I was raised by bow rules.

You know, I was on a date... Yes.

You know, we just... I thought you were a professional.

You know. I'm sorry, Mr. Lincoln.

You know. This I know.

You like a chip and a dip? Yes!

You like a good chip? Yes. Yes.

You like the art? To tell you the truth...

You live together? Yeah, we live together.

You look beautiful too. Thank you, Jeff.

You look fantastic. You know what? So do you.

You make as much as a regular doctor? Get me the fucking pinkberry!

You mean like a horse? This chair is a fuck machine.

You need to do better. You need to do better. No, I did fine.

you need to have 10 men in a room to say a prayer. It'll take 10 minutes tops.

You need to worry about the game. We got this game.

You pitched really well. It's not ready.

You promise? Yeah, I promise.

You said it was gonna be ready. I said it's not ready.

You see what's going on over here? No.

YOU SHOULD. I HAVE A LOT OF CONFIDENCE IN YOU.

You should've. I'm very starving.

You stink! Oh, so do you!

You suck. How could you do this? What a loser.

YOU SURE YOU'RE REALLY *******? I'M THE REAL DEAL.

You sure? I drive a black Lexus.

You think she's doing a chat and cut? I kinda feel like you are.

You think so? I know so.

You think so? Yes yes.

You think that's easy? Sure sure. I have a...

You trust him too? I do, absolutely.

You want some of my salad? Oh my god.

You want the bow? I do.

You want to see it? Yeah, let me see it. Let me see it.

You want to take a ride? Where we going at?

You were supposed to have lunch with Lewis. Ah!

You were too much. I'm charming, but...

You weren't playing him? No, I...

You won't regret this. I don't think we will.

You would do that? Try me.

You would never get caught. Ever.

You would've had such an amazing time. Keegan's club.

You. Oh shit.

You'll cancel them? Mm hmm.

You'll never forgive me for that. No no.

You'll talk to Mr. Lewis? I'm gonna tell him.

You're a fucking schmuck. Well, we don't see it the same way.

You're a hero. You got it, pal.

You're a Jew, yes? Yes, I am a Jew.

You're a social assassin. Jesus.

You're absolutely correct. But we've just started dating.

You're done. No, bullshit.

You're fucking my husband?! Shit.

You're going back to New York? I'm going back, yeah,

You're going back to New York? Yeah.

You're going to what? I'm going to get them reduced.

You're gonna be gone for all that time? I'll be gone for al...

you're gonna show up! Okay, Sunday, same time, same place.

you're gonna show up. I am assuring you right now.

You're hell bent? Yes.

YOU'RE KIDDING ME? NO, HE'S A SWEDE.

You're kidding me. No, I don't think you'd be.

You're kidding me. Yeah, great Jones and Lafayette

You're making a little sense. I'm making stupid sense.

YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY MONEY FROM ME. YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

You're not separated. We're the hosts.

YOU'RE NOT. DID YOU THINK I WAS *******?

You're shitting me? Not shitting.

You're so lying. No, I swear to god.

You're stuck. I know, what can I do? I can't fire her.

You're sure you don't mind? Huh? No. No no, finish your lunch.

You're taking the chicken? Yes, of course.

You're taking up two spaces. I'm like an inch over the line.

You're very welcome. Can you bow for a thank you?

YOU'RE WELCOME TO STAY. I LIKE THIS DESK.

You're working out? Yeah.

You've got it, sister. All right.

You've got it. Yay.

You've got to go around it... ( Gasping )

You've never heard of that? No, it's an odd thing.

You've reached Hiriam Katz. VOICEMAIL!

your neighbor. Oh my god, are you serious?

, ( theme music playing )

, ( theme music playing )

, ( theme music playing )

'CAUSE I'M A HUGE COCONUT GUY.

'cause she doesn't tell you what to do.

'cause the other arm gets in the way all the time,

'Cause then you put a monetary value on someone's gesture.

"ahh" thing.

"COME ON, LET'S GO FOR A NOSH. IT'LL BE GOOD."

"Danny boy" on the flute.

"For big dog only. For big dog only."

"GENTLY SLIDE THE APPLICATOR ALL THE WAY INTO YOUR VAGI "

"HOLD THE APPLICATOR LIGHTLY ON THE OUTER INSERTION TUBE

"I'm a donkey vet. I'm a rabbit vet.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"IF YOU'RE USING A TAMPON, YOU'LL SEE THAT

"Not enough space. If you park there, someone's gonna hit you."

"Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day.

"Poor jud is dead. Poor jud is dead."

"Sad news"?

"see? Good thing I told you to go to the doctor."

"Seinfeld," lovely show.

"That damned elusive pimpernel."

"We'll think about it."

"where's antoinette?"

"Woman."

"you're not prepared, young lady!

( All laughing )

( All yelling )

( arguing continues )

( Banging )

( Bell dings )

( Both laugh )

( Both laughing )

( Car alarm chirps )

( Car horns honking )

( Cars honking )

( Chanting prayer in Hebrew )

( Chattering )

( Chatting )

( Chatting )

( Cheering )

( Chimes playing )

( Chimes playing )

( Chimes playing )

( Chuckles )

( Chuckles ) Jeff: I have. I've talked to her about it.

( Chuckles ) no, don't... don't say anything about this.

( Chuckles ) come on.

( Chuckles ) well, that's an invention.

( chuckles ) WH WHY NOT? HUH?

( Chuckles ) you keep saying goodbye.

( Clicks tongue )

( Crashes )

( Crowd cheering )

( Crowd cheering )

( Crowd cheering )

( Crowd cheering )

( Deeply ) no no!

( dialing )

( Donna laughing )

( Door opens )

( Door opens )

( Door opens ) that is so funny. Hey, guys.

( Door opens, closes )

( Doorbell buzzes )

( Doorbell rings )

( Doorbell rings )

( doorbell rings )

( Doors ding )

( Dramatic music playing )

( Echoes ) pinkberry.

( Emphatically ) I am done.

( Exhales )

( Gasping, moaning )

( giggles ) WE HAVE THE TAGALONGS.

( groaning )

( Groans )

( groans )

( Groans ) all right, fine.

( Groans ) I told her about the smiley faces.

( Groans ) no.

( Grunts )

( Grunts )

( high pitched ) they went "no, I wasn't there!"

( High pitched ) yeah, yes!

( honks )

( Honks horn )

( Huffs )

( Huffs ) I didn't know.

( Humming )

( Humming )

( Imitates buzzer ) wrong. Manny.

( Intercom chimes )

( Jane laughs )

( Jane laughs )

( Jazz music playing )

( Jennifer moaning )

( Judge horn moans )

( Knocking at door )

( Larry and Gaby giggling )

( Larry gibbering )

( Laughing )

( Laughing )

( Laughing )

( Laughing ) again, thank you, Larry.

( Laughing ) you're goddamn right. I'm living large.

( Laughs )

( Laughs )

( Laughs )

( Laughs )

( Laughs )

( Laughs ) he should have at least a puppet in the car

( Laughs ) sometimes it surprises even me.

( Laughs ) that's right, a u haul. They move in together.

( Laughs ) top physical shape?

( Mimics Humphrey bogart ) out of all the hummus joints in all the world,

( Mimics rip ) gone. I will tear it up.

( moaning )

( Moans ) for me, give me a chip any day.

( Muffled ) be a fucking dick! Okay?!

( Music playing )

( Music playing )

( Music playing )

( Music playing )

( Music playing )

( Music playing )

( Organ playing )

( People chatting )

( People laughing )

( Phone ringing )

( Phone rings )

( Pounding )

( Radio chatter )

( Scoffs )

( Scoffs ) it's different.

( Scoffs ) you know what?

( Screams ) my baby!

( Seat rattling )

( Shouting )

( Shouting ) take them off!

( Shouting ) what are you, 90 years old?

( Shouting fades ) ( music playing throughout )

( shouting, pounding )

( Sighs )

( Sighs )

( Sighs )

( Sighs ) what are you getting so stressed out about this for?

( Sighs ) lunch.

( Silent )

( Silent )

( Silent )

( Slurping )

( Slurps ) mmm.

( snaps fingers )

( Snickers )

( Softly ) hey, let me ask you something.

( Speaking Japanese )

( Speaking Japanese )

( Stammering ) you know, I've got the penis.

( Stuttering ) Larry, please, do I have to defend myself in this?

( Tearfully ) I must tell you, at times it's very difficult

( Theme music playing )

( theme music playing )

( Theme music playing )

( Theme music playing )

( Theme music playing )

( Theme music playing )

( Theme music playing )

( Theme music playing )

( Theme music playing )

( theme music playing )

( Theme music playing )

( Thuds )

( Tisks )

( tisks ) I'm out of that business.

( Touch tones beeping )

( Vance shouts ) hey, Larry!

( Vocalizes tune )

( Whistles )

( Whistles )

("New York times" headline: "Unemployment drops:)"

(such as "I miss you.:)"

* a camptown racetrack five miles long, doo Dee doo Dee day *

* camptown ladies sing this song, doo dah doo dah *

* going to...

$3,000? Yeah. Let me ask you this question:

$500.